I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated December 5, 1972, and I have noted the contents carefully. Regarding your question whether some small lies may be said in order to sell our books, I have already replied to Bai Mardan on that point and a copy of his letter is enclosed herewith. But that kind of lie, as you have given example of the apartment manager, telling him that "Yes, we have gotten permission to distribute here," that kind of lie is not harmful. The highest development of Krsna consciousness understanding will be when you are able to give anyone the truth but in such a manner that they will respond in a positive way. If people like to contribute by hearing such things, there is no harm, that is just to induce him to purchase. Some of my godbrothers, I can remember, when we used to go out for begging some contribution from some big man, they used to say that my Guru Maharaja had lived for 12 years in the forest in solitary place, living only on the tulasi leaves. I could scarcely stop from laughing when I heard such story, but it was effective to get the money and give to our Guru Maharaja, and he was pleased by our gift. So the idea is not what you are saying, so much as how you say it. If you understand this properly, then you may be able to say the truth at all times in the most palatable way, according to the situation and the type of hearer. To perfect this art, that takes practice, so practice preaching from this understanding and gradually you will develop it more and more. But we should never steal anything like money, food, water, gasoline, just to enhance our service to Krsna. That is too much dangerous, and if we are caught then all of our work is finished. Just like in India recently, this Balyogi Guru Maharajaji was detected by the customs authorities attempting to smuggle some small items into India. By this one tiny incident his entire effort for preaching, even he his rascal number one and his preaching is nonsense, even so the example is there, his work is now ruined and he is practically finished as the government will not grant him passport to leave India. So we shall always be careful to avoid any kind of jeopardizing our high standing in the society by some foolish and small act of illegal stealing.
So far your difficulty for controlling the sex urge, my advice in that connection is that the more you become Krsna conscious, that sex urge can be checked. That is the only way for checking the sex urge. First thing is, you have made promise when you took initiation that there will be no illicit sex connection. If still you are unable to fulfill that promise to your spiritual master, then what is the use of calling yourself devotee and disciple? That is simply pretending. So you should think like this, that I have promised my spiritual master this, now I must obey him without any exception, otherwise I have no business calling myself his disciple. That will be your austerity or tapasya for forcing you to make very rapid advancement in Krsna conscious understanding. Without tapasya there is no question of making advancement. So if still the material nature is so much attractive to you that you are unable to sacrifice things in this way, then better you give up the whole thing and do as you like outside. But if you want to call yourself devotee and serve Krsna in that capacity, then you must avoid these four basic principle restrictions under all circumstances, without any exceptions. Of course once, twice, Krsna may excuse, that is not very difficult, but more than that it will become very difficult for Krsna to excuse you and there is great risk that everything will be lost despite all of your time and effort spent.
You have got some desire to become a famous preacher and famous Vaisnava singer and also jagad-guru. This is a spiritual desire, so it is not like any material desire and it is all right to desire for Krsna in this way. but great Vaisnava or famous Vaisnava means that you have no sex desire. Whether you can be like that? First of all you be like that, without any sex desire, then you think famous Vaisnava. Vaisnava means he has no material desire, what to speak of sex desire. All material desires become zero, even he has no desire for jnana, karma, like that.