This category is for funny remarks, funny stories, word plays etcetera, that causes the audience to laugh.
Pages in category "Prabhupada's Jokes"
The following 35 pages are in this category, out of 35 total.
- Abhirucir means the boy and the girl, if he likes, if he says, that's all. No other calculation. And the, after three days after marriage, there is divorce. (laughter) Because abhirucir, "I like, I don't like," that's all
- Another student, she is preparing the sweetballs, ISKCON balls, and they are forgetting meat-eating. They do not like any more meat-eating. They have got better engagement, sweetballs
- As you are hearing the message of Srimad Bhagavatam or Bhagavad-gita, the process is vidhunoti, washing. Actually, it is brainwashing - but for good. Washing is not bad
- At night, nidraya, if one can get the opportunity of sleeping twenty-four hours, he thinks he's very much gainer, especially on Sunday. (laughter) So this is materialistic
- Devotees are very compassionate. (laughs) Karunikah. "Please you take this service, and other service, I may take prasadam. (laughter) That I cannot neglect."
- Do you think all the caves of the mountains they are now closed? There are many caves. If you want at all shelter, there are already there are natural rooms, apartment. (everyone laughs) You can live there
- He (Bali-mardana) invented Australia (laughter)
- He did not think that He's a statue; it is image. He knew God. That was his conviction. So God said, "How do you think that a statue can go with you? I am a statue. I cannot go." Then this boy replied, "Well, if a statue can speak, He can go also."
- He's smoking fire, and he's becoming cool. (laughter) And the advertisement is going on, and the rascals are captivated by these advertisement, and they smoke, become cool. Yes
- I have no higher consciousness
- If somebody comes, he says, "Take this elephant, I give you free," will you take? Will you accept? You know that elephant will devour you, your all your means or income and all family income, because you cannot maintain elephant
- If you adopt me as your old child, probably the visa department will laugh, that what you will do with an old child who is going to die very soon
- If you don't practice, then at the time of examination, certainly you'll fail. (chuckles) If you say, "All right. I shall see in the examination hall. I shall write everything nice," that is nonsense. You have to study nicely before the examination
- In darkness at night the only happiness is sleeping and sex, that's all. There is no other happiness. And when there was dark in New York, electricity failed, and so many women became pregnant. (laughs) Yes
- In King Kong movie they made cotton as cloud. (laughs). They can do everything in the laboratory
- Oh, you, you plundered my father in the place of pilgrimage. You gave him some LSD or something, (laughter) intoxication. You took all the money from my father. Now you say that he has promised to offer you my youngest sister. You fool!
- One boy, he appeared in his examination. His father asked, "How did you reply to your examination paper?" "Yes, quite nice." Then he said, "How?" "So there were very difficult questions that I could not answer
- One intelligent person, he thought, "I shall be free from the touch of Yamaraja by one tactics." What is that? "Stool is very obnoxious. Nobody comes to stool. So let me smear my body, whole body with stool so that Yamaraja will not come and touch me"
- Sankaracarya has described about the seven islands 1,500 years ago. So why the credit should go to Columbus? (laughter) It should go to Sankaracarya
- So we are not devotees, therefore we should first fast. And those who are devotees, they'll take as much as they like. I was telling fasting because I am not a devotee. (laughs) For me fasting is good. If I eat more-atyaharah
- That is mosquito and gun. (laughter) Student, you have got four. And managers? Three hundred. One manager requires three rooms, another four rooms. This is waste. One manager, first see at least fifty students. Then you can become manager
- The remnants of foodstuff left by the husband will be taken by the wife. That means if the husband does not eat, she'll not eat. So those things are now dream only. (laughs) Impossible
- There is no instruction how they are wasting their time, this human form of life, simply by jumping in the water. (laughter) And they are thinking, "I am enjoying, butterfly." You see? They do not know the value of this life
- This is material life. We are rounding sometimes this way, sometimes that way, and we are thinking "new." (devotees laugh) Ei rupe brahmanda bhramite kona
- To avoid Yamaraja, the superintendent of death, one man smeared his body with stool
- We should never think that "Krsna is not seeing. If I commit some offense, or..., Krsna is in Vaikuntha. Here I can do whatever I like." (laughter) Don't do that. That is a great offense
- When I was also a child, I was looking very beautiful, but kalena, in due course of time, I'm now old man, a ugly man. Nobody likes. (laughter) So this is the influence of time
- You are not thinking it is hellish? This is hellish planet. What do you mean by hellish planet? Especially this London, (laughter) always dark and moist, and what do you want more, hellish?
- You are scientist, devotee, and ksatriya. As ksatriya you'll force: (laughing) "You must believe this, or I will kill you." (laughter) And as scientist, the convincing argument... And as devotee, Krsna will help you. That's all
- You don't sleep. Never Krsna said to Arjuna that "I am your friend. I am God. You sleep here. (laughter) I'll do everything." No! "You must fight." That is wanted. Yuddhyasva mam anusmara "You fight and remember Me. Then I'll do everything"