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I gave her (my wife) final, that "Either you have to give up your tea or your husband." (laughter) So she agreed to give up husband, not tea. (laughter) So I left my home. That's all. (laughter)

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Expressions researched:
"Either you have to give up your tea or your husband"

Conversations and Morning Walks

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

My wife was taking tea. So I asked her not to take tea, not to take tea. But she didn't care husband. Then I gave her final, that "Either you have to give up your tea or your husband." (laughter) So she agreed to give up husband, not tea. (laughter) So I left my home. That's all. (laughter).
Room Conversation with Indian Guests -- July 11, 1973, London:

Guest (7): Because it creates some problems to somebody if you go somewhere, you don't want tea. Coffee... "Oh, no, I don't want it." They say, "What sort of drink?" "Oh no, I don't want anything." And about food, "No, only an ounce..."

Prabhupāda: Now, when I was gṛhastha, so they offered tea, I said, "I don't take tea." Then they said "Milk?" "Yes, all right. You can give me milk." I'd take little milk. Or you can take little cold drink, soda water. That sugar and water, little lemon. He wants to offer you something. So there are so many other varieties, varieties. But if he insists, "You must take tea," that is not hospitality.

Guest (7): But what happens is somebody else comes in, you know.

Guest (8): Hospitality means prasādam.

Prabhupāda: Hospitality means first of all, he should ask, "What can I offer you?" This is hospitality.

Guest (8): Naturally, you know...

Prabhupāda: No. Hospitality means the man should ask you, "What can I offer you?" That is hospitality. If he says that "I must give you tea, and you must drink it," that is not hospitality. (laughter)

Guest (8): (indistinct)

Prabhupāda: No, no. Hospitality is first... According to our Indian system, (Hindi) Then you can say, "Then you can give me a little sweet water." or "You can give me little milk." That's all. Hospitality does not mean I must force you, "You must take it." That is not hospitality.

Guest (9): (Hindi) Somebody comes to my place...

Prabhupāda: So you should ask, "What can I offer you?"

Guest (9): ...say, "A cup of tea will do." Then?

Prabhupāda: That's all right.

Guest (9): We cannot give him cup of tea.

Prabhupāda: No, you cannot give, that "I have no tea. You take milk." (laughter)

Guest (8): No tea, now. Why do you keep that tea in the house?

Prabhupāda: But if you offer milk or little sherbet, nobody will deny it. Even if he's a tea drinker, he cannot deny taking a little sherbet or little milk or a sandeṣa or some sweetmeat or... What is that? You want to offer him something. So offer him... There are so many things. Why that particular tea should be offered. Is it very nice preparation?

Guest (9): Another tea and coffee. The people generally want...

Prabhupāda: I want things are nice, but...

Guest (9): If we stop that one, I come to coffee and tea.

Prabhupāda: They might have gone to hell, but I am not... (laughter) I cannot offer him hellish things. Bhagavat-prasāda. We are offering our Bhagavat-prasādam. Nobody is denying. You can offer in the same way. We are not offering tea or coffee. Whatever we have got, take it. So this is artificial. We can avoid all these difficulties. There is no difficulty at all.

Guest (9): No, what I (indistinct) I take but wife takes half, and children, they didn't take it, but they want a cup of coffee. One boy wants cup of coffee, the girl wants a cup of tea and...

Prabhupāda: Well, the...

Guest (9): But the... And when the... That is the... This is the problem...

Prabhupāda: This happened in my life... This happened in my life.

Revatīnandana: Listen. Listen.

Prabhupāda: My wife was taking tea. So I asked her not to take tea, not to take tea. But she didn't care husband. Then I gave her final, that "Either you have to give up your tea or your husband." (laughter) So she agreed to give up husband, not tea. (laughter) So I left my home. That's all. (laughter)

Guest (8): Due to tea!

Guest (9): There won't be any place for me to go now.

Prabhupāda: We have got such a big house. We welcome all. Yes, bad habit is... Habit is second nature sometimes, but one should be determined. Therefore we have got four āśramas: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. Whichever is suitable. Just like here. He's gṛhastha. His wife, children, all are devotees. So he doesn't require to become a sannyāsī.

Guest (1): He is lucky.

Prabhupāda: Yes, lucky.

Guest (9): He is lucky. For some of them, half of them, they go here, half of them go there.

Prabhupāda: He has good wife, good children, all favorable for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. He does not...

Guest (8): This is Prabhupāda's mercy really.

Guest (1): No, but, that I'm saying...

Guest (8): We have been living fourteen years in this country. They were brought up here, and they never touched tea. They were brought up here, school education and all that, fourteen years...

Prabhupāda: Yes, in England, in London.

Guest (8): And I must say they are advancing more than me, really. I am still the same stage; by Prabhupāda's grace, they are advancing more, get up early in the morning, four o'clock, take bath...

Prabhupāda: No, this kind of family life is very suitable. This is wanted. All the wife... His wife is very nice girl. And she is good devotee. So if wife is favorable, then everything is favorable. Household life means cooperation with wife. Na gṛhaṁ gṛham ity āhur gṛhiṇī gṛham ucyate. Just like we are also living within a room, gṛha. But we are sannyāsī. What is the difference between gṛhastha and sannyāsī? He lives with his wife. Gṛhiṇī gṛham ity āhuḥ. Gṛhiṇī means "the wife is gṛha." So if the wife is favorable, devotee, then there is no use of giving up family life. That's all. We have got so many married couples. Just like this boy. He's married. His wife is there. They are favorable. Both husband and wife, they have dedicated life for Kṛṣṇa. So it is very nice. It is not that he has to become sannyāsī. No. Why? There is no necessity. Gṛhe vā vanete thāko. Either you become sannyāsī or gṛhastha, the life must be dedicated for Kṛṣṇa. That's all. That is required. And for Kṛṣṇa's sake, if we have to give up something, is that very difficult job? If Kṛṣṇa wants that "You give up this habit,"... Just like Kṛṣṇa says... If you become devotee of Kṛṣṇa... Now, Kṛṣṇa says, patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ yo me bhaktyā prayacchati (BG 9.26). So Kṛṣṇa wants that patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalam, "Vegetable, milk, rice, grains, you can give Me." So you have to please Kṛṣṇa. You live on this, what Kṛṣṇa says, and take Kṛṣṇa's prasādam. That's all. (People coming in) Aiye. (Hindi) (break)