Forty-three years. So it is better late than never. Yes. So he desired me. I thought, "Now I am a family man. Let me adjust things." I would have accepted immediately, but I was not so intelligent at that time. I thought "My responsibility to family is there. Let me wait." But still, Guru Mahārāja was so kind to me that when I was gṛhastha, I was seeing him in dreaming and I was... He asked me, "You come with me." So I was going, and after that, I was thinking, "Oh, I will have to take sannyāsa and go with him?" So it appeared to me very horrible. I was not very much inclined to take sannyāsa, but Guru Mahārāja is so kind that he ultimately forced me to take sannyāsa and do this work. So it is all his kindness. So this is the memory of his kindness.
So forty years ago I remember the same thing as it is in 1922, and still the same thing is going on. There is nothing new. We have nothing to do, new. Simply let us present as it is; it will be successful. There is no... You see. The spirit of my writing is the same. "Misled we are, all going astray." This soul-killing civilization is misleading us. We must know this, this very misleading civilization. Our real aim of life is to understand our spiritual identification and search out our relationship with God, Kṛṣṇa. That is our real business. But this modern civilization is misleading us in different ways. So I wrote this, that "Misled we are, all going astray. Save us, lord, our fervent pray. Wonder thy ways to turn our face, adore they feet, Your Divine Grace." So this portion he very much appreciated.
So we have to find out ways how to turn the current. The current is sense enjoyment. Material life means the current is sense enjoyment, and this current has to be turned-sense enjoyment of Kṛṣṇa. Sense enjoyment is there, but the material civilization, the misled civilization, is that the sense gratification is taken personal. When this sense gratification will be turned towards Kṛṣṇa, then our life is successful. Just like gopīs. Apparently it appears that gopīs, they were attracted by young boy, Kṛṣṇa, and for their sense gratification they made friendship with Kṛṣṇa. No. That is not the fact. The fact is that gopīs used to dress themselves nicely because by seeing them, Kṛṣṇa will be satisfied, not that for their sense gratification. Generally a girl dresses also to attract the attention of the boy. So the same thing is there but it is Kṛṣṇa's sense gratification, not the gopīs'. The gopīs did not want anything. But Kṛṣṇa will be satisifed. That is the difference between lust and love. Love is there, only possible, when it is diverted towards Kṛṣṇa. That is love. And beyond that... Not beyond that... Below that, everything is lust. So we should always remember this. The senses are not stopped, but when the gratification of the senses is directed towards Kṛṣṇa, that is bhakti, or love. And when the sense gratification is directed towards personal self, that is lust. This is difference between lust and love.
So Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura knew this art, how to turn our activities for the satisfaction of Kṛṣṇa. This is Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. Therefore I... "Wonder thy ways to turn our face, adore they feet, Your Divine Grace. Forgotten Kṛṣṇa, we fallen souls." Why we are fallen? Because we have forgotten. Our relationship with Kṛṣṇa is eternal. Unless it was eternal, how you Western peoples could be devotee of Kṛṣṇa? Artificially you cannot be a devotee of Kṛṣṇa. The relationship is there eternally. Nitya-siddha kṛṣṇa-bhakti. By the process it is now awakened. Śravaṇādi-śuddha-citte karaye udaya. It is awakened. Love between young man and young woman, it is not artificial. It is there. But by certain circumstantially, environment, the love becomes manifest. Similarly, our love for Kṛṣṇa, relationship with Kṛṣṇa, is eternal. Jīvera svarūpa haya nitya kṛṣṇa-dāsa (Cc. Madhya 20.108-109). But we have to create such situation—that eternal relation should be awakened. That is the art. That is wanted.
So "Forgotten Kṛṣṇa, we fallen souls, pay most heavy the illusion's toll." Because we have forgotten Kṛṣṇa we are paying heavy, heavy toll, tax, taxation. What is that taxation? The taxation is nivartante mṛtyu-saṁsāra-vartmani (BG 9.3). This human life is meant for understanding Kṛṣṇa, but instead of understanding Kṛṣṇa, we are understanding the so-called material science for sense gratification. This is our position. The energy which was given by nature to understand Kṛṣṇa, that is being utilized how to manufacture something for sense gratification. This is going on. This is māyā, illusion. Therefore it is, "Pay most heavy the illusion's toll." Toll tax. That we are paying because we have forgotten Kṛṣṇa; therefore now we have manufactured the nuclear weapon—Russia, America—and you will have to pay heavily. They are already paying heavily. The armament preparation is going on. More than fifty percent of the income of the state are now being spent for this arm..., heavily. Instead of other purposes, it is being spent for military strength, every state. So that heavy toll we are paying. And when there is war there is no limit how much we are spending for this devastation. So why? Because we have forgotten Kṛṣṇa. This is a fact.
So these people they have made the United Nation, unnecessarily fighting like dogs. So this will not solve the problems. The problem will be solved if they pass a resolution that the whole world, not only this world... Kṛṣṇa says, sarvaloka maheśvaram. Kṛṣṇa is the proprietor, so why not accept? Actually He is the proprietor. Who has created this planet? We have created or father created? No. Kṛṣṇa has created, but we are claiming, "This portion is American, this portion is Indian, this portion is Pakistani." Unnecessary. What is the value of this claim? We may claim it for fifty or sixty or a hundred years, and after that, one kick: "Get out." Where is your claim? But they do not understand this philosophy. They are fighting. That's all, that "This is mine. This is my land. This is my land." They do not know. Kṛṣṇa said tathā dehāntara prāptiḥ (BG 2.13). "You are American today. So tomorrow, even within America if you become an American cow or American animal, nobody will care for you. Nobody will care for your politics." But this art they do not know. This science they do not know. They are under illusion. They are thinking that "I shall continue to remain American, so let waste my time for American interest," so-called interest. There cannot be any interest. Prakṛteḥ kriyamāṇāni guṇaiḥ karmāṇi sarvaśaḥ (BG 3.27). Everything is being done by nature, and we are simply falsely thinking, ahaṅkāra-vimūḍhātmā kartāham iti manyate. This illusion is going on. "Forgotten Kṛṣṇa, we fallen souls, pay most heavy the illusion's toll." We are paying, paying. "Darkness around, all untrace. The only hope, Your Divine Grace." This message. Simply we are in darkness. So we shall discuss later on again. Now just... What is the time now? Hm?