Just like Mr. Sulye, our Godbrother, German, he told me personally that during wartime many German women, some, they prayed into the church to get back their husband, son or brother, because all went to war, and nobody returned. And they become atheist, "Oh, there is no God. We prayed so much to God to get back my husband, to get back my brother, but they are dead." But the brother was not returned and the husband was not returned. So result was . . .
So if we pray, go to Kṛṣṇa with that purpose, that He should be our order-supplier, then there is no question of kṛṣṇa-bhakti. We must fully surrender. Fully surrender: "Let Him do." Āśliṣya vā. That is taught by Śrī Caitanya: āśliṣya vā pāda-ratāṁ pinaṣṭu mām marma-hatāṁ karotu vā adarśanāt (CC Antya 20.47).
Āśliṣya vā pāda-ratā: "Either You embrace me or You trample me down on Your feet, neglect me, and You make me broken-hearted, and not being present before me all the life . . ." Āśliṣya vā pāda-ratāṁ pinaṣṭu mām marma-hatāṁ karotu vā. Marma-hatām means "If You make me broken-hearted. I love You so much. I want You, but You never care for me. That's all right. Still You are my worshipable, unconditionally. I don't want any return from You. Still You are my worshipable." This is pure devotion. Kṛṣṇa takes all care. Don't think . . . because He says personally, ahaṁ tvāṁ sarva-pāpebhyo mokṣayiṣyāmi (BG 18.66).
Why should you be so anxious? But one who is in love with Kṛṣṇa, he wants to see Him, he wants to love Him. But even He does not present Himself before the lover, the lover says: "Oh, still, You are my lovable object, worshipable. Whatever you can do . . . you are . . . you are free to treat me as, as You like, but You are my worshipable . . ." This is pure. So as soon as we come to this stage, that is perfection. That is perfection. Don't expect anything, return.