My only hope is Srila Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati Thakura. I have no one else. In my house my wife and son did not help me, so I left my home. I thought the Godbrothers would help me, but even that I did not get

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Expressions researched:
"My only hope is Srila Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati Thakura. I have no one else. In my house my wife and son did not help me, so I left my home. I thought the Godbrothers would help me, but even that I did not get"

Correspondence

1966 Correspondence

Along with all this inconvenience, in this faraway foreign country, I am working alone, helplessly. My only hope is Srila Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati Thakura. I have no one else. In my house my wife and son did not help me, so I left my home. I thought the Godbrothers would help me, but even that I did not get.

The general people are all intoxicated and loafers. It is very popular here to impregnate women, and then take them to the doctor and give them an abortion. This is common. They have no lamentation for this. You cannot imagine from there, how difficult it is to make them accept good sadacara (behavior according to scriptural injunctions). It is so much mercy from Srila Prabhupada that this kind of "kirata-hunandhra-pulinda-pulkasa" (lowborn) national people are taking up sadacara. They are giving up illicit relationships with women, intoxication, marijuana, tea, coffee, everything. Having given up meat they are eating dahl, capati and rice and are very happy. They do kirtana and harinama every morning and evening, and do sandhya before Srila Mahaprabhu's picture. To honor the guru-varga, as soon as they see me, they pay obeisances. I never expected so much. They are not foolish or inactive. Some are MA and BA, and they are earning three to four thousand rupees per month. Most of them, at least two of them, give me all their money. That is why it is possible to spend so much. It is not possible to beg here. It is not possible to run a matha or temple if money does not come from earnings. Here it is not possible to go from door to door to beg flour and rice. Without notice it is not possible to meet with any gentlemen. It is necessary to make an engagement beforehand. Along with all this inconvenience, in this faraway foreign country, I am working alone, helplessly. My only hope is Srila Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati Thakura. I have no one else. In my house my wife and son did not help me, so I left my home. I thought the Godbrothers would help me, but even that I did not get. That is why, when you wrote in your letter dated 20.9.66 "I will always be ready to serve you from India in any way I can." And hearing this I was very hopeful. But in your letter, 13.11.66, two months later, you wrote that Tirtha Maharaja was coming to Vrndavana so "if you let me know by letter, he will arrange to send everything to me. Then I will give all of the money into his hand." Thus I was forced to write to you to deposit all the money in the bank. Otherwise there was no other reason. Anyway, forgetting all this, if you can help me from India, you will certainly attain the mercy of Srila Prabhupada. In my old age I have taken so much risk, but not to fulfill any of my own desires. Srila Prabhupada had desired this work, and I am trying to fulfill that desire according to my ability. Personally I have no ability. My only hope is Srila Prabhupada. So if you help me in any way, know that it will certainly be all auspicious to you.

Yours,

Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami