This material world is simply an embarrassment and is composed of tribulations presented as happiness, distress, attachment, enmity and envy. On the whole it is simply full of tribulation and misery. When a person loses his intelligence due to attachment to wife and sex, his entire consciousness becomes polluted. He thus only thinks of the association of women. The time factor, which is like a serpent, takes away everyone's life, including that of Lord Brahmā and the insignificant ant. Sometimes the conditioned soul tries to save himself from inexorable time and thus takes shelter of some bogus savior. Unfortunately, the bogus savior cannot even save himself. How, then, can he protect others? The bogus saviors do not care for bona fide knowledge received from qualified brāhmaṇas and Vedic sources. Their only business is indulging in sex and recommending sexual freedom even for widows. Thus they are like monkeys in the forest. Śrīla Śukadeva Gosvāmī thus explains the material forest and its difficult path to Mahārāja Parīkṣit.
Widow
Srimad-Bhagavatam
SB Canto 1
A devoted wife, who is according to revealed scripture the better half of her husband, is justified in embracing voluntary death along with her husband if she is without issue. But in the case of the wife of Droṇācārya, she did not undergo such a trial because she had her son, the representative of her husband. A widow is a widow only in name if there is a son of her husband existing. So in either case Aśvatthāmā was the representative of Droṇācārya, and therefore killing Aśvatthāmā would be like killing Droṇācārya. That was the argument of Draupadī against the killing of Aśvatthāmā.
This incident took place after the death of Abhimanyu, the husband of Uttarā. Abhimanyu's widow, Uttarā, should have followed the path of her husband, but because she was pregnant, and Mahārāja Parīkṣit, a great devotee of the Lord, was lying in embryo, she was responsible for his protection. The mother of a child has a great responsibility in giving all protection to the child, and therefore Uttarā was not ashamed to express this frankly before Lord Kṛṣṇa. Uttarā was the daughter of a great king, the wife of a great hero, and student of a great devotee, and later she was the mother of a good king also. She was fortunate in every respect.
Devakī, the mother of Kṛṣṇa and sister of King Kaṁsa, was put into prison along with her husband, Vasudeva, because the envious King was afraid of being killed by Devakī's eighth son (Kṛṣṇa). He killed all the sons of Devakī who were born before Kṛṣṇa, but Kṛṣṇa escaped the danger of child-slaughter because He was transferred to the house of Nanda Mahārāja, Lord Kṛṣṇa's foster father. Kuntīdevī, along with her children, was also saved from a series of dangers. But Kuntīdevī was shown far more favor because Lord Kṛṣṇa did not save the other children of Devakī, whereas He saved the children of Kuntīdevī. This was done because Devakī's husband, Vasudeva, was living, whereas Kuntīdevī was a widow, and there was none to help her except Kṛṣṇa. The conclusion is that Kṛṣṇa endows more favor to a devotee who is in greater dangers. Sometimes He puts His pure devotees in such dangers because in that condition of helplessness the devotee becomes more attached to the Lord. The more the attachment is there for the Lord, the more success is there for the devotee.
As far as my daughter-in-law Kuntī is concerned, upon the great General Pāṇḍu's death, she became a widow with many children, and therefore she suffered greatly. And when you were grown up she suffered a great deal also because of your actions.
The sufferings of Kuntīdevī are doubly lamented. She suffered greatly because of early widowhood and to get her minor children brought up in the royal family. And when her children were grown up, she continued to suffer because of her sons' actions. So her sufferings continued. This means that she was destined to suffer by providence, and this one has to tolerate without being disturbed.
The ministers, the military commanders and even the ordinary soldiers were all selected by personal qualification, and the king had to supervise them properly before they were appointed to their respective posts. The king was especially vigilant to see that the tapasvīs, or persons who sacrificed everything for disseminating spiritual knowledge, were never disregarded. The king knew well that the Supreme Personality of Godhead never tolerates any insult to His unalloyed devotees. Such tapasvīs were trusted leaders even of the rogues and thieves, who would never disobey the orders of tapasvīs. The king would give special protection to illiterates, the helpless and widows of the state. Defense measures were arranged previous to any attack by the enemies. The taxing process was easy, and it was not meant for squandering, but was for strengthening the reserve fund. The soldiers were recruited from all parts of the world, and they were trained for special duties.
Bhīṣmadeva was not only a great family head of Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, but also he was a great philosopher and friend to him, his brothers and his mother. Since Mahārāja Pāṇḍu, the father of the five brothers headed by Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, had died, Bhīṣmadeva was the most affectionate grandfather of the Pāṇḍavas and caretaker of the widow daughter-in-law Kuntīdevī. Although Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra, the elder uncle of Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, was there to look after them, his affection was more on the side of his hundred sons, headed by Duryodhana. Ultimately a colossal clique was fabricated to deprive the five fatherless brothers of the rightful claim of the kingdom of Hastināpura.
It is due to Arjuna only that the great philosophical discourses of the Bhagavad-gītā were again spoken by the Lord on the Battlefield of Kurukṣetra. His wonderful acts on the Battlefield of Kurukṣetra are vividly described in the Mahābhārata. Arjuna was defeated, however, by his son Babhruvāhana at Maṇipura and fell unconscious when Ulūpī saved him. After the disappearance of Lord Kṛṣṇa, the message was brought by Arjuna to Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira. Again, Arjuna visited Dvārakā, and all the widow wives of Lord Kṛṣṇa lamented before him. He took them all in the presence of Vasudeva and pacified all of them. Later on, when Vasudeva passed away, he performed his funeral ceremony in the absence of Kṛṣṇa. While Arjuna was taking all the wives of Kṛṣṇa to Indraprastha, he was attacked on the way, and he could not protect the ladies in his custody. At last, advised by Vyāsadeva, all the brothers began their mahā-prasthāna. On the way, at the request of his brother, he gave up all important weapons as useless, and he dropped them all in the water.
Due to Pāṇḍu's death at an early age, his minor children and widow were the object of special care by all the elderly members of the family, especially Bhīṣmadeva and Mahātmā Vidura. Vidura was more or less partial to the Pāṇḍavas due to their political position. Although Dhṛtarāṣṭra was equally careful for the minor children of Mahārāja Pāṇḍu, he was one of the intriguing parties who wanted to wash away the descendants of Pāṇḍu and replace them by raising his own sons to become the rulers of the kingdom. Mahātmā Vidura could follow this intrigue of Dhṛtarāṣṭra and company, and therefore, even though he was a faithful servitor of his eldest brother, Dhṛtarāṣṭra, he did not like his political ambition for the sake of his own sons. He was therefore very careful about the protection of the Pāṇḍavas and their widow mother.
Similarly, as a woman Gāndhārī could have remained at home or at her father's house, but as a chaste and gentle lady she followed her husband without consideration. Instructions for the renounced order of life were imparted to Dhṛtarāṣṭra by Vidura, and Gāndhārī was by the side of her husband. But he did not ask her to follow him because he was at that time fully determined, like a great warrior who faces all kinds of dangers in the battlefield. He was no longer attracted to so-called wife or relatives, and he decided to start alone, but as a chaste lady Gāndhārī decided to follow her husband till the last moment. Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra accepted the order of vānaprastha, and at this stage the wife is allowed to remain as a voluntary servitor, but in the sannyāsa stage no wife can stay with her former husband. A sannyāsī is considered to be a dead man civilly, and therefore the wife becomes a civil widow without connection with her former husband. Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra did not deny his faithful wife, and she followed her husband at her own risk.
This entering of a chaste lady into the fire of her dead husband is called the satī rite, and the action is considered to be most perfect for a woman. In a later age, this satī rite became an obnoxious criminal affair because the ceremony was forced upon even an unwilling woman. In this fallen age it is not possible for any lady to follow the satī rite as chastely as it was done by Gāndhārī and others in past ages. A chaste wife like Gāndhārī would feel the separation of her husband to be more burning than actual fire. Such a lady can observe the satī rite voluntarily, and there is no criminal force by anyone. When the rite became a formality only and force was applied upon a lady to follow the principle, actually it became criminal, and therefore the ceremony was to be stopped by state law. This prophecy of Nārada Muni to Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira forbade him to go to his widowed aunt.
Queen Draupadī had a beautiful bunch of hair which was sanctified in the ceremonial function of Rājasūya-yajña. But when she was lost in a bet, Duḥśāsana touched her glorified hair to insult her. Draupadī then fell down at the lotus feet of Lord Kṛṣṇa, and Lord Kṛṣṇa decided that all the wives of Duḥśāsana and company should have their hair loosened as a result of the Battle of Kurukṣetra. Thus after the Battle of Kurukṣetra, after all the sons and grandsons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra died in battle, all the wives of the family were obliged to loosen their hair as widows. In other words, all the wives of the Kuru family became widows because of Duḥśāsana's insulting a great devotee of the Lord. The Lord can tolerate insults upon Himself by any miscreant because the father tolerates even insults from the son. But He never tolerates insults upon His devotees. By insulting a great soul, one has to forego all the results of pious acts and benedictions also.
SB Canto 3
Lord Kṛṣṇa's father, Vasudeva, had sixteen wives, and one of them, named Pauravī or Rohiṇī, the mother of Baladeva, was the sister of Vidura. Vasudeva, therefore, was the husband of Vidura's sister, and thus they were brothers-in-law. Vasudeva's sister Kuntī was the wife of Pāṇḍu, Vidura's elder brother, and in that sense also, Vasudeva was brother-in-law to Vidura. Kuntī was younger than Vasudeva, and it was the duty of the elder brother to treat younger sisters as daughters. Whenever anything was needed by Kuntī, it was munificently delivered by Vasudeva, due to his great love for his younger sister. Vasudeva never dissatisfied his wives, and at the same time he supplied the objects desired by his sister. He had special attention for Kuntī because she became a widow at an early age. While inquiring about Vasudeva's welfare, Vidura remembered all about him and the family relationship.
A faithful wife cannot live without her lord, the husband, and therefore all widows used to voluntarily embrace the burning fire which consumed the dead husband. This system was very common in India because all the wives were chaste and faithful to their husbands. Later on, with the advent of the age of Kali, the wives gradually began to be less adherent to their husbands, and the voluntary embrace of the fire by the widows became a thing of the past. Very recently the system was abolished, since the voluntary system had become a forcible social custom.
When Mahārāja Pāṇḍu died, both his wives, namely Kuntī and Mādrī, were prepared to embrace the fire, but Mādrī requested Kuntī to live for the sake of the younger children, the five Pāṇḍavas. This was agreed upon by Kuntī at the added request of Vyāsadeva. In spite of her great bereavement, Kuntī decided to live, not to enjoy life in the absence of her husband, but only to give protection to the children. This incident is referred to here by Vidura because he knew all the facts about his sister-in-law Kuntīdevī. It is understood that Mahārāja Pāṇḍu was a great warrior and that he alone, with the help of bow and arrow, could conquer the world's four directions. In the absence of such a husband, it was almost impossible for Kuntī to live on even as a widow, but she had to do it for the sake of the five children.
It is said that the father himself becomes the son in another form. The father and son are therefore considered to be nondifferent. A widow who has her son is actually not a widow, because she has the representative of her husband. Similarly, Devahūti is indirectly asking Kardama Muni to leave a representative so that in his absence she might be relieved of her anxieties by a suitable son. A householder is not expected to remain at home for all his days. After getting his sons and daughters married, a householder can retire from household life, leaving his wife in the charge of the grown-up sons. That is the social convention of the Vedic system. Devahūti is indirectly asking that in his absence from home there be at least one male child to give her relief from her anxieties. This relief means spiritual instruction.
A woman whose husband is away from home or has taken the renounced order of life should not be very sorry, because she still has the presence of her husband's representative, her son. It is said in the Vedic scriptures, ātmaiva putro jāyate: the husband's body is represented by the son. Strictly speaking, a woman is never widowed if she has a grown son. Devahūti was not very much affected while Kapila Muni was there, but upon His departure she was very afflicted. She grieved not because of her worldly relationship with Kardama Muni but because of her sincere love for the Personality of Godhead.
SB Canto 4
When Caitanya Mahāprabhu took sannyāsa, His wife, Viṣṇupriyādevī, although only sixteen years old, also took the vow of austerity due to her husband's leaving home. She chanted her beads, and after finishing one round, she collected one grain of rice. In this way, as many rounds as she chanted, she would receive the same number of rice grains and then cook them and so take prasāda. This is called austerity. Even today in India, widows or women whose husbands have taken sannyāsa follow the principles of austerity, even though they live with their children. Pṛthu Mahārāja's wife, Arci, was steadily determined to execute the duty of a wife, and while her husband was in the forest, she followed him in eating only fruits and leaves and lying down on the ground. Since a woman's body is considerably more delicate than a man's, Queen Arci became very frail and thin, parikarśitā. When one engages in austerities, his body generally becomes lean and thin. Becoming fat is not a very good qualification in spiritual life because a person who is engaged in spiritual life must reduce the comforts of the body—namely eating, sleeping and mating—to a minimum. Although Queen Arci became very thin from living in the forest according to regulative principles, she was not unhappy, for she was enjoying the honor of serving her great husband.
Being now alone and a widow in that forest, the daughter of Vidarbha began to lament, incessantly shedding tears, which soaked her breasts, and crying very loudly.
SB Canto 5
Material happiness means to have good facilities for eating, sleeping, sexual intercourse and defense. Within this world, the materialistic person lives only for these four principles of sense gratification, not caring for the impending danger of death. After his father's death, a son tries to inherit his money and use it for sense gratification. Similarly, one whose son dies tries to enjoy the possessions of his son. Sometimes the father of a dead son even enjoys his son's widow. Materialistic persons behave in this way. Thus Śukadeva Gosvāmī says, "How wonderful are these pastimes of material happiness transacted by the will of the Supreme Personality of Godhead!" In other words, materialistic persons want to commit all kinds of sinful activities, but without the sanction of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, no one can do anything. Why does the Supreme Personality of Godhead permit sinful activities? The Supreme Lord does not want any living being to act sinfully, and He begs him through his good conscience to refrain from sin. But when someone insists upon acting sinfully, the Supreme Lord gives him the sanction to act at his own risk (mattaḥ smṛtir jñānam apohanaṁ ca (BG 15.15)). No one can do anything without the sanction of the Lord, but He is so kind that when the conditioned soul persists in doing something, the Lord permits the individual soul to act at his own risk.
SB Canto 9
Similarly, there were calculations of pratiloma and anuloma. The central idea is that if the boy and girl were on an equal level the marriage would be happy, whereas inequality would lead to unhappiness. Because care is no longer taken in marriage, we now find many divorces. Indeed, divorce has now become a common affair, although formerly one's marriage would continue lifelong, and the affection between husband and wife was so great that the wife would voluntarily die when her husband died or would remain a faithful widow throughout her entire life. Now, of course, this is no longer possible, for human society has fallen to the level of animal society. Marriage now takes place simply by agreement. Dāmpatye 'bhirucir hetuḥ (SB 12.2.3). The word abhiruci means "agreement." If the boy and girl simply agree to marry, the marriage takes place. But when the Vedic system is not rigidly observed, marriage frequently ends in divorce.
SB Cantos 10.14 to 12 (Translations Only)
The sorrowful queens told their father, King Jarāsandha of Magadha, all about how they had become widows.
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta
CC Adi-lila
It is a prejudice among smārta-brāhmaṇas that a widow must observe fasting on Ekādaśī but a woman who is sa-dhava—who has her husband—should not. It appears that before Lord Caitanya's request, Śacīmātā, being sa-dhava, was not observing Ekādaśī. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, however, introduced the system that a woman, even if not a widow, must observe the Ekādaśī day and must not touch any kind of grains, even those offered to the Deity of Viṣṇu.
CC Madhya-lila
Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was invited to dine at the house of Sārvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya. While He was eating sumptuously, the son-in-law of Sārvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya (the husband of his daughter Ṣāṭhī) criticized Him. Because of this, Ṣāṭhī’s mother cursed him by praying that Ṣāṭhī would become a widow. In other words, she cursed her son-in-law to die.
When Ṣāṭhī’s mother, the Bhaṭṭācārya's wife, heard of this incident, she immediately began to strike her head and chest, saying again and again, "Let Ṣāṭhī become a widow!"
CC Antya-lila
“Dear Lord, You are a learned teacher. Why then don’t You consider that this boy is the son of a widowed brāhmaṇī? Why are You so affectionate to him?
Other Books by Srila Prabhupada
Teachings of Lord Caitanya
Now, after His tenth year, Caitanya became a passable scholar in grammar, rhetoric, the smṛti and nyāya. It was after this that His elder brother Viśvarūpa left His house and accepted the āśrama (status) of a sannyāsī (ascetic). Caitanya, though a very young boy, consoled His parents, saying that He would serve them with a view to please God. Just after that, His father left this world. His mother was exceedingly sorry, and Mahāprabhu, with His usual contented appearance, consoled His widowed mother.
Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead
By placing our faith and love in Your personality, we are assured of never being bereft of husband, friends, sons or daughters. If a woman accepts You as the supreme husband, then she will never be bereft of her husband, as in the bodily concept of life. If we accept You as our ultimate husband, then there is no question of being separated, divorced or widowed. You are the eternal husband, eternal son, eternal friend and eternal master, and one who enters into a relationship with You is eternally happy. Since You are the teacher of all religious principles, Your lotus feet have to be worshiped first. Accordingly, the śāstras state, ācārya-upāsanā: the worship of Your lotus feet is the first principle. Besides that, as stated in the Bhagavad-gītā, You are the only enjoyer, You are the only proprietor, and You are the only friend. As such, we have come to You, leaving aside all so-called friends, society and love, and now You have become our enjoyer. Let us be everlastingly enjoyed by You. Be our proprietor, for that is Your natural claim, and be our supreme friend, for You are naturally so. Let us thus embrace You as the supreme beloved.”
Kṛṣṇa was anxious to know about the sons of Pāṇḍu because at a very young age they had lost their father. Being very friendly to His devotees, Kṛṣṇa was anxious to know about them, and therefore He deputed Akrūra to go to Hastināpura and get information of the real situation. Kṛṣṇa continued: “I have heard that after King Pāṇḍu's death, his young sons—Yudhiṣṭhira, Bhīma, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva—along with their widowed mother, have come under the charge of Dhṛtarāṣṭra, who is to look after them as their guardian. But I have also heard that Dhṛtarāṣṭra is not only blind from birth but also blind in his affection for his cruel son Duryodhana. The five Pāṇḍavas are the sons of King Pāṇḍu, but Dhṛtarāṣṭra, due to Duryodhana's plans and designs, is not favorably disposed toward them. Kindly go there and study how Dhṛtarāṣṭra is dealing with the Pāṇḍavas. On receipt of your report, I shall consider how to favor them.” In this way the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa, ordered Akrūra to go to Hastināpura, and then He returned home, accompanied by Balarāma and Uddhava.
Upon Kaṁsa's death, his two wives became widows. According to Vedic civilization, a woman is never independent. She has three stages of life: in childhood a woman should live under the protection of her father, a youthful woman should live under the protection of her young husband, and in the event of the death of her husband she should live under the protection of her grown-up sons, or if she has no grown-up sons she must go back to her father and live as a widow under his protection. It appears that Kaṁsa had no grown-up sons. Therefore, after his wives became widows they returned to the shelter of their father. Kaṁsa had two queens, Asti and Prāpti, and both happened to be the daughters of King Jarāsandha, the lord of the Bihar Province (known in those days as Magadha). After reaching home, the two queens explained their awkward position following Kaṁsa's death. The King of Magadha, Jarāsandha, was mortified on hearing of the pitiable condition of his daughters. When informed of the death of Kaṁsa, Jarāsandha decided on the spot that he would rid the world of all the members of the Yadu dynasty. He decided that since Kṛṣṇa had killed Kaṁsa, the whole dynasty of the Yadus should be killed.
Lectures
Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures
All these are described in the Bhagavad-gītā, who is brāhmaṇa, who is kṣatriya, by symptoms. By symptoms we have to accept whether one is brāhmaṇa or kṣatriya or vaiśya, not by birth. That is the injunction of the śāstras. So this has to be observed. If we want actually deliverance from this material entanglement, so these rules and regulations of kula-dharma, we must observe. If we do not observe, then immediately we become irreligious. Dharme naṣṭe kṛtaṁ kṛtsnam adharmam abhibhavati iti uta. Uta, Arjuna said, "It is said." He has learned from higher authorities. Uta, "it is said" means "said by authorities." So "If adharma, irreligious life, is propagated, on account of loss of kula-dharma, then everything is lost, my dear Kṛṣṇa. So why shall I kill?" Other things also will be described later on, that the, when the male members are killed, the female members become widow, and they, their character becomes polluted. So many things Kṛṣṇa will speak about this family life.
So here is a point, that sometimes we may do something which is approved by the general public, but it may not be approved by the supreme authority. Superficially it may appear very appealing to the sentiment of the public, but factually such thing may not be correct, may not be correct. If we accept Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and "Why He was inducing Arjuna to fight?" It does not mean that He was inducing Arjuna to do something wrong. But from worldly point of view, Arjuna was a very pious man and he was declining to fight, not to kill his kinsmen, not to kill his friends. This... This is a very important point. So he argued, "No, no, if I fight, my people will die, and their wives will become widow, and they will be adulterated, and then, by adulteration, unwanted population will increase, and who will offer śrāddha?" Śrāddha... There is a ceremony of śrāddha according to Hindu scripture. I do not know whether you have in your Christian religion, but according to Hindu, a dead body is offered some respect every year.
When the parting is here, in the middle, then that girl has her husband and she is coming from respectable family. And if the, I mean to say, partition is here, then she is a prostitute. You see? A prostitute cannot... There was king's ruling that a prostitute cannot (laughs) part here. And then again, when a girl is well dressed, it should be considered that she has got her husband at home. And when she is not well dressed, then it should be understood that her husband is out of home. You see? And a widow's dress... There are so many. There are symptoms. So similarly, this thread, sacred thread, is a sign that this person has accepted somebody as his spiritual master. He has got his... Just like this red mark symbolizes that "This girl has her husband," similarly, this sacred thread is the symbol that "This man has got his spiritual master." So there is a ceremony. You see? So according to Vedic system, one has to accept a spiritual master in order to make a solution of his life. In every step of his life the spiritual master guides him. He also makes question to the spiritual master and he guides him so that he will, his life, his progress of life, may be systematic.
So why one should cry for this body? Therefore Kṛṣṇa says that "A learned man does not lament over this body." The whole question, that a soul is different from this body, the whole question is solved in one verse. You see? Gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ (BG 2.11). "One who is actually learned, he does not, he has no concern of this body. He's concerned with the activities of the soul. So you are speaking of so many things that 'If these, my friends, die, the, I mean to say, their wives will become widow.' These are all... According to the bodily relation, you are speaking. And you are posing yourself just like a very learned man, but you are a fool number one because your whole conception is on the body. Your whole conception of argument with Me was on the body, but you are, you are posing himself just as if you are very learned man." So anyone who has got conception, the identification of this body, he's not a learned man. He's a fool.
So this illusion was to be removed by Kṛṣṇa, and therefore He said, aśocyān anvaśocas tvam (BG 2.11). "You are lamenting over the body. Oh, it is very regrettable. You are lamenting." Aśocyān anvaśocaḥ. What is this body? It is simply lump of matter. As soon as the soul is out of this body, what is the value of this lump of matter? It will be thrown in the street, and somebody will kick on the face. Nobody will care. Nobody will care. But so long the soul is there, if you touch the hair even—"Why you are touching my hair?" But when the soul is not there, on the same face, if somebody kicks, nobody will care. This is the position of the body. Therefore it is said, aśocyān: "It is garbage. Why you are lamenting on this garbage?" Aśocyān anvaśocas tvam (BG 2.11). "You are talking, very learned man, that 'If I kill my brothers the, my brothers' wives will be widow, and there will be prostitution and then the whole family will go to ruin.' These are all external condition."
So there was fight. So when fight was arranged, then Arjuna... He was a devotee of Kṛṣṇa. (aside to someone talking:) Please stop. He declined fight. He said to Kṛṣṇa, "My dear Kṛṣṇa"—Kṛṣṇa was his friend—"I don't like this fight because they are my cousin-brothers. Although they have usurped my kingdom, let them enjoy it. I don't wish to fight with them." But Kṛṣṇa declined. Kṛṣṇa said, "No, you have to fight. Your duty is to fight." Then Arjuna placed before Him so many ideas that "If I kill my brother, then my brothers' wives will be widow and they may be polluted, then unwanted children, varṇa-saṅkara, will come out, and when the varṇa-saṅkara population is filling, then the whole world becomes a hell." So many arguments. So Kṛṣṇa, when He saw that Arjuna is very much afflicted with the material ideas, so He wanted to teach him this Bhagavad-gītā. So first punishment... Not punishment, chastisement.
So here Kṛṣṇa is instructing. First of all, He chastised Arjuna: aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase (BG 2.11). "My dear Arjuna, you are talking like a very learned man, but I find that you do not know in which case you have to lament and in which case you have to joyful. That you do not know." Gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ. Indirectly, He said that "You are not paṇḍita; you are a fool. Because you are arguing in this way that 'If I kill my brothers, their wives will be widow, and they will become prostitute and there will be varṇa-saṅkara.' " These questions are very nice. If women become prostitute, then the population is varṇa-saṅkara. And varṇa-saṅkara means unwanted children.
So at least to have a guarantee that our next life is going to be human life, everyone should take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. From mundane profit point of view. There is a story, Sāvitrī-Satyavān. Sāvitrī-Satyavān, it is not a story. It is historical fact that one gentleman, he was a king's son, prince. His name was Satyavān. But he was to die at a certain age his horoscope said. But one girl Sāvitrī, she fell in love with that boy. Now she wanted to marry. Her father told her, "He'll die at certain age. You don't marry." But she was bent. She married. In course of time the boy died, say after four or five years, and the girl became widow. So she was so staunch lover that she won't let the dead body go away. And the Yamarāja, the, what is English I do not know, who takes away the body or the soul after death, so he came to take the soul away. So this chaste girl would not allow the husband's body to go away. Then Yamarāja told, "It is my duty that I should take. You give it up. Otherwise, you'll be also punished." So she gave and she was following Yamarāja. So Yamarāja became compassionate. So Yamarāja became compassionate, he benedicted her, "My dear girl, you go home. I give you benediction you will have a son. Don't cry for your husband." Then she was again following and when Yamarāja said, "Why you are following me?" "Now you are taking my husband. How can I have my son?" Oh, then he was in dilemma. He returned her husband. So similarly, this is a technique. If you take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then your husband or this human form of life is guaranteed.
Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures
So anyway the system is unless one is married, a girl, she must remain under the control of the parents. Therefore it is the parents' duty to see that the girl is married to a suitable boy. That is the duty. When the girl is married, then parent's duty is finished. Not by the age. Up to this point. So during young time, say, up to, say, forty years, she should remain under the husband. And when there are grown-up children, she should remain... Just like that Mrs. Sharma. (?) She is under the care of her elderly sons. So Manu-saṁhitā says that na strī svātantryam arhati. Woman should not be given independence. She must remain... Just like... That is not bad. Just like a child remains under the control of the parents. That is good. Similarly, woman remaining under the control of father or husband or elderly boy, that is good for them. And still, they are very happy. Just like you see Kuntī. Kuntī was widow, but she was very qualified woman, so many ways. But still, she remained under the control of the five boys, five children, Pāṇḍavas. Kuntī also gave birth to a child before her marriage. That is Karṇa. That is Karṇa. So it was not very common affair, and in extraordinary cases it so happened.
This is ātmā, beginning. Asmin dehe. Within this body there is the soul. Dehino 'smin yathā dehe. Not the body is important. Body's nothing; it is dead matter. When Kṛṣṇa began His instruction and Arjuna was lamenting on the basis of this body... "If we kill our brothers their wives will be widowed and they'll be bhraṣṭācāra(?), the varṇa-saṅkara will be there." Everything he was calculating on the basis of this body. All politics, sociology, they are going on the basis of this body. But Kṛṣṇa, as soon as He was accepted by Arjuna as guru... Śiṣyas te 'haṁ śādhi māṁ prapannam: (BG 2.7) "Now, Kṛṣṇa, I accept You as my guru. Not as friend." Because friendly talking is useless waste of time. He accepted Him as guru. When guru speaks, you cannot argue. That is not the process. You should accept a guru who is infallible. Otherwise it is useless. He accepted guru Kṛṣṇa because Kṛṣṇa is infallible. If we accept guru, a bogus guru, then it is no benefit. Guru means Kṛṣṇa's representative. Not that everyone can be guru.
So according to Vedic culture, if one woman has got son, she is not considered to be widow. Widow means one who hasn't got husband or husband is dead. So if the husband's representative is there, so, strictly speaking, she is not widow. So prajā-rūpeṇa vartate. Again the wife is considered ardhāṅginī. I think in English also it is said, "better half." Wife is considered half the body. The left hand side half... Perhaps you have seen the picture that Kṛṣṇa and Rādhārāṇī, one body. The left-hand side is Rādhārāṇī, right-hand side is Kṛṣṇa. Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī has explained this, rādhā kṛṣṇa-praṇaya-vikṛtir hlādinī-śaktir asmād ekātmānāv api (CC Adi 1.5). Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, They are one, but for pastimes they have become two. Ekātmānāv api bhuvi purā deha-bhedaṁ gatau tau. Again Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa united, caitanyākhyaṁ prakaṭam adhunā tad-dvayaṁ caikyam āptam. So these things are there. So wife is considered better half. Ardhāṅginī. So the ardhāṅginī is there, and the son is there. In so many ways they are convincing that "Do not think that Droṇācārya is dead and gone." He's (She's) convincing this point. "Droṇācārya is still existing. So killing the son of Droṇācārya means killing Droṇācārya. So do not do this." He's (She's) putting so many arguments.
So Kaṁsa became pacified. He believed in the words of Vasudeva, that he'll deliver all the sons, "And if you like, can kill." He thought, "Let me save the present situation. After all, later on, mean, Kaṁsa gets a nephew; he may forget this enviousness." But he's never, never to forget. Yes. He killed all the sons and kept them in prison. śucārpitā ruddhā aticiram. Aticiram means for long time. So he was saved. Devakī was saved after all. Similarly if we take the position of Devakī and Kuntī... Kuntī, just like with her sons, Pañca-Pāṇḍava, five Pāṇḍavas... After she became widow, the whole plan was, Dhṛtarāṣṭra's, "How to kill these children of my younger brother? Because, by chance, I was blind, so I could not get the throne of the kingdom. My younger brother got it. Now he's dead. So at least my sons, they should get the throne." That was his policy, Dhṛtarāṣṭra's policy: "I could not get." This is material propensities. "I shall be happy. My sons shall be happy. My community shall be happy. My nation shall be happy." These are extended selfishness. Nobody's thinking Kṛṣṇa, how Kṛṣṇa will be happy. Everyone is thinking in his own terms: "How I shall be happy, how my children shall be happy, my community shall be happy, my society shall be happy, my natio..." This is the struggle for existence. Everywhere you'll find it. This is material existence. Nobody's thinking how Kṛṣṇa will be happy.
That positive world, here it is said, tvayi me ananya-viṣayā matiḥ. This is positive. The negative side is to give up. To give up... Because we are living beings... Ānandamayo 'bhyāsāt (Vedānta-sūtra 1.1.12), part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa, sac-cid-ānanda-vigraha (Bs. 5.1). So we want ānanda. So whatever I possess, now I give up. Then, if I don't get better engagement, then where is my ānanda? There is no ānanda. So as we do not get ānanda, so then I come back again. There is a Bengali hearsay, napad jimane na, na jamai batta.(?) When a widow, old woman, her husband is dead... We have got experience. And she talks very loosely with the grandson-in-law. I have got experience. When we were young, young married, so my grandmother-in-law, my father-in-law's mother, she was talking very loosely, just like husband and wife. So that's a practical... Because she... She is hopeless of getting another husband because she is old enough. So where is the husband? She accepts or talks like husband to the grandson-in-law. So similarly, the Māyāvādī philosophers, they do not accept Kṛṣṇa or Kṛṣṇa's līlā. They think it is māyā. They do not accept it.
Therefore Vedic civilization does not allow a woman to be nicely dressed unless she is before her husband, unless she is before her husband. Because if she, I mean to say, agitates the lusty desires of all others, that is not very good. So woman is allowed to dress herself very nicely when her husband is present. Otherwise she will not dress. There are some restrictions. Proṣita-bhartṛkā. By the woman's dress, one will understand who is she—whether she is living with her husband, whether she is widow, whether she is unmarried, or whether her husband is out of home, or whether she is prostitute. The culture is so nice, simply by the dress one will understand that "Here is a woman; her husband is not at home. Here is a woman; she is widow. Here is a woman; she is prostitute." In this way, there are. "Here is a woman, she is not married." By dress, one will understand. That vermillion sign means she is married. When she is nicely dressed, oh, she has her husband at home. When she is in white cloth without any ornament, she is widow. When the sīmanta... What is called in English, sīmanta? This? Parting. If it is not in the middle, it is in side, she is a prostitute. So woman should dress in such a way that man will understand. And not married, she will not have this veil. It must be open. So anyway, these are social customs in the Vedic civilization.
Anyway, the point is that Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, he, how responsible king, just think over. Arjuna was also thinking before fighting. He was arguing with Kṛṣṇa that "If I kill my brothers, all the my sister-in-laws, they'll be widow." And there was no such thing as widow-marriage in India. No. No widow can marry. Why? Because the woman population is greater than the man. If widow again marries, then the unmarried girl does not get chance to have another husband. Therefore there was no widow-marriage. Widow-marriage was especially allowed only when the girl did not see her husband at any time or she had no children. Formerly, in our days, younger days, although the girl was married at an early age, she was not allowed to see her husband unless she is grown-up fully. Unless she has attained puberty, she is not... She lives with her parents. But she knows that "I have got my husband." This consciousness is a great pleasure for a women psychologically, that "I have got husband." A very nice system. And when the girl grows up, puberty, then again another ceremony is taken. That is almost like second marriage. The girl goes to her husband, to live with her husband. This was the system.
So marriage is very compulsory in Vedic system because who is to take charge of the woman? They require protection. The father must take charge naturally, or the husband. And when she is old... Just like Caitanya Mahāprabhu was taking charge of His widow mother. So when He took sannyāsa, so mother became very much upset: "Oh, that I have no husband, and this boy is going to take sannyāsa." Naturally. But that is a different case. For Kṛṣṇa's sake, we can forsake our obligatory duties. For Kṛṣṇa's sake. In the śāstra it is said that one who has fully surrendered to Kṛṣṇa, he has no more any material duty. Neither he has got any obligation that he must perform. But so long he is not fully surrendered to Kṛṣṇa, he has to execute each and every duty as obligatory.
That is Malthus's theory also, that as soon as there is overpopulation, there must be something disturbance, war, pestilence, epidemic, and finished, finished. The extra population, unnecessary. Varṇa-saṅkara. They are called varṇa-saṅkara. Varṇa-saṅkara... Because by nature there must be brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra, by nature. That should be organized. Head is head, tail is tail, not that head, tail, everything is one. That is called varṇa-saṅkara. Kṛṣṇa, Arjuna has argued that if the family members... If the woman becomes widow, then there will be varṇa-saṅkara population. Varṇa-saṅkara population means a population who cannot say who is his father. That is varṇa-saṅkara. Or which caste does he belong, what is his father, what is his family. No, nothing, no information. That is called varṇa-saṅkara. So when the varṇa-saṅkara population increases, then the whole world becomes hell.
If one is interested to know that science, then it is necessary to approach Just like Arjuna was busy, perturbed that he has to fight with his relatives, the other side, and they will be killed. And he was presenting so many problems that, If I kill my brothers, my sister-in-laws will become widow and they will be polluted, and there will be varṇa-saṅkara generation, then the whole world will be hell. In this way he was thinking, the immediate material problems, but when, after arguing with Kṛṣṇa, he could not find out any solution, then Arjuna submitted to Kṛṣṇa, śiṣyas te 'haṁ śādhi māṁ prapannam (BG 2.7). "My dear Kṛṣṇa, now I don't want to talk with you as friend, because friendly talk, the talking will be very much, but there will be no benefit." Generally we do so. We talk with some person, some friend, without any duty, just to waste time. That is not the way. If you go and talk with some person, then you must derive some benefit. Gain should be there, otherwise simply waste of time. And it is the injunction of the śāstra that, unless one is submissive, the superior man should not talk, tad viddhi praṇipātena (BG 4.34), unless one is submissive he will not be able to accept the sublime instruction.
So this is also tapasya. Just like if one man is satisfied with one woman or one woman is satisfied with one man and live peacefully, that is tapasya. Because natural inclination is that "I want to enjoy that man or that woman." But if you can control, that you be satisfied with woman or with one woman, that is called tapasya. That is austerity. That is, voluntarily, you are restraining himself. Tapasya means voluntary restraint. In India, still, the system is followed in conservative families that a widow cannot marry. There is no widow marriage in India. They, the... Manu-saṁhitā, the law-givers, the saintly persons, Manu-saṁhitā... Why widow marriage is prohibited? The idea is generally, everywhere, in all countries, the female population is greater than the male population. So the idea is that she has become widow. She was once married. Now if again she is married, another virgin girl, she does not get the chance of being married. Therefore there is no widow marriage according to Hindu scripture. And a man is allowed, if he is, I mean to say, able man, he can marry more than one wife. Not that simply marry. To get more than one wife does not mean sense enjoyment. The wife must be maintained very respectfully. She must have good house, good ornaments, good food, good servants, good children. Then one can marry. Not that simply for sense gratification.
So Kṛṣṇa in the very beginning of Bhagavad-gītā suggesting mukti. So, "Arjuna, you are lamenting for things which no paṇḍita, no learned man, laments." Gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ (BG 2.11). "You are talking very high high words, ideas, that 'If my brothers are killed, my sister-in-laws will be widows and their character will be polluted, the varṇa-saṅkara...' These are all bodily conception of life. You come to the spiritual platform."
Therefore so much stress is given that wife should be chaste and husband should be very well behaved, then life will be successful. Arjuna argued with Kṛṣṇa that "You're asking me to kill my brothers and relatives on the other side, so don't You think that if I kill them, their wives will be widowed and they'll be polluted? And as soon as they'll be polluted, there will be varṇa-saṅkara." Varṇa-saṅkara, the practical example of varṇa-saṅkara is the hippies in your country: no caste, no creed, neither useful for the material world, neither useful for the spiritual. That is called varṇa-saṅkara. Then he said, "My...," Arjuna... Strīṣu duṣṭāsu varṇa-saṅkara (indistinct). "My dear Kṛṣṇa, You are asking me to kill my... There will be widow, and they'll be polluted, and there'll be varṇa-saṅkara, and (indistinct), and when there'll be varṇa-saṅkara, then the whole world will be hell. It will be no more suitable for habitation of gentlemen. Finished."
When Caitanya Mahāprabhu was approached by Sanātana Gosvāmī, his first question was ke āmi: "Who am I?" This is the first education, spiritual education. And the same thing is taught in the Bhagavad-gītā because Arjuna was too much identifying himself in the bodily conception of life: "I belong to this Kurus' family, so if I kill them, then family will be ruined. The women will be widows, and they'll be corrupted. Then there will be unwanted children, varṇa-saṅkara, and in this way the whole world will be hellish," and so on, so on, so many, but beginning with the bodily conception of life. All, what was, Arjuna was explaining to Kṛṣṇa, that was... From material point of view, it is very nice. He wanted to become nonviolent. He did not like to kill his family members. He, rather, liked to forego his claim, that "I don't want. Let them enjoy." But everything, from material point of view, it was very nice proposal. But this identification with family, with nation, with community, this is all foolishness. All foolishness.
Similarly, we are all part and parcel of God. Our real home is Vaikuṇṭha. But we have come here. How we have come, that is a very mysterious thing; but we are part and parcel. Somehow or other... Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura has sung, anādi karama phale, padi 'bhavārṇava-jale. Somehow or other we have fallen this. Therefore the real aim of life, how to get out of this bhavārṇava, nescience, that is the aim of life. If we remain again like the monkeys and cats and dogs, eating, sleeping, mating, and dancing, that is not very responsible life. Every man should be responsible. That is Vedic culture, to create responsible man, not varṇa-saṅkara. Therefore Arjuna was very much afraid that "After war the women will be widows, they will be polluted, and varṇa-saṅkara population will come out." Actually that is the fact. After the last war the hippies have come out all over the world. This is the fact.
Liṅgam evāśrama-khyātāv anyonyāpatti-kāraṇam. Liṅgam. Liṅgam means symptom. According to Vedic literature, there are different dress. A girl unmarried, her dress is different. A girl married, her dress is different. A girl widow, her dress is different. A girl prostitute, her dress is different. A men sannyāsī, his dress is different. A brahmacārī, his dress is different. So by the dress one can understand that who is who. That is the system. So that dress is offered by the spiritual master after qualified. Just like if a girl is married, then his (her) dress is offered during the marriage ceremony. One of the symptoms of married girl is some red powder between the two divisions of the hair. So one can understand that "This girl is not..." So similarly, there are different dresses according to qualification, according to the situation.
Nectar of Devotion Lectures
According to our Vedic system, when the husband is out of home, the women is not supposed to dress herself very nicely. Proṣita bhartṛkā. It is called proṣita bhartṛkā. The system was that one should dress herself in such a way that people can understand what is her position—whether she's unmarried, whether she's married, whether she's widow, whether her husband is away, whether she's a pro..., she's a prostitute, everything. By the dress one should understand. "She is, she is widow," "She has got her husband," "Her husband is now away from home." "Oh, she is a prostitute," "She's not married." In this way. Because she's not to be asked. Simply by the dress one can understand. So the proṣita bhartṛkā. She does not dress herself, she lies down on the floor, does not change her clothes very nicely, does not dress the, comb the hair, proṣita bhartṛkā. And the same woman, when her husband is at home, she take twice bath and dresses herself, applies oil and very nice dress, ornaments, and so many things.
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures
So what sort of learned man I am? I cannot answer all these things. Therefore I have come to You." Similarly, Arjuna, when he was arguing with Kṛṣṇa, "Oh, if I kill my grandfather, then such and such thing will occur me. Oh, if I kill my brothers, the, my brothers' wives, they will be widow and they'll be corrupted, and there will be unwanted children," so many things. He was arguing rightly. That was not... That is from materialistic point of view. From materialistic point of view, you may be very great learned man. But every one of you must know that spiritually, you are damn rascal, nothing! Spiritually, all these persons who are very proud of their learning, they're all damn rascals. Asat. Simply rascals. Simply rascal. So you must know that "I am simply rascal" if you want to make progress in spiritual life. And what do you know about spiritual life? You do not know anything.
General Lectures
One can understand by seeing the dress that she is unmarried girl. One can see simply by the dress that she is married wife. One can see by the dress that she is widow. One can see by the dress that she is prostitute. So dress is so important. So proṣita bhartṛkā. So we are not going to discuss about the social. We are discussing about love affairs of Kṛṣṇa. So gopīs... Kṛṣṇa and gopīs, the relationship was so intimate and so unalloyed that Kṛṣṇa Himself admitted, "My dear gopīs, it is not in My power to repay you about your loving affairs." Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He became bankrupt, that "My dear gopīs, it is not possible for Me to repay your debts which you have created by loving Me." So that is the highest perfection of love. Ramyā kācid upāsanā vrajavadhū.
So devotional service begins from the stage of liberation, when one is freed from the concept of bodily life, from this wrong concept that "I am this body." That is the beginning of Bhagavad-gītā. Teachings of Bhagavad-gītā begins from that. Kṛṣṇa wanted to teach Arjuna in the beginning, first of all, that "You are not this body." He was talking with Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa was asking him to fight, and he was placing so many pleas that "If I fight, my family will die and the women will be widows. They will be polluted."
So all these information we get from the Vedic scripture, just like Bhagavad-gītā, Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and Upaniṣad, like that. And we follow the instruction. That is good for human society. Human society, if they do not follow the footprints of great ācāryas, great saintly persons, then there will be trouble. And that is happening actually. In the Bhagavad-gītā, when Kṛṣṇa was..., Kṛṣṇa and Arjuna was talking, so Arjuna presented the after-effects of war, that women will be widows and their, they will not be able to keep their character, and then adharma, irreligious principles, will begin.
You are talking just like a very learned man." You have read in the Bhagavad-gītā. He submitted his proposition, that "How can I kill my..., the other side? They are my brothers, and if the brothers are dead, my sister-in-laws will be widow and they will be polluted, and there will be varṇa-saṅkara. And so..." These things are facts, but Kṛṣṇa says that "You are simply taking calculation of the body. Body. You have no spiritual calculation. The life is meant for spiritual understanding, athāto brahma jijñāsā. But you have no such understanding. You have no such knowledge, and still you are speaking." Aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase: (BG 2.11) "You are talking like a very learned man, but My dear friend, you are not learned." He said in a different way. Agatāsūn. Gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ. "Because this body... You are thinking in terms of bodily relationship, but a paṇḍita, a learned scholar... Actually he is learned scholar when he does not lament for this body, either alive or dead." This is the first instruction. This body is already dead. It is matter, dead matter. But you should try to understand the living spirit within this body.
Philosophy Discussions
Conversations and Morning Walks
1971 Conversations and Morning Walks
1972 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: That I have explained. Just like Arjuna, who was a fighter, warrior, means he fought for Kṛṣṇa. For himself, he was hesitating. He put all these questions that "If I kill my brothers, then their wives will be widow, and they will be prostitutes and there will be varṇa-saṅkara, and then there will be no piṇḍa-dāna and then the whole nation will go to hell," in this way, as he could think. But he was not thinking in terms of Kṛṣṇa. He was thinking in terms of his own benefit, "whether I shall go to hell or heaven." That was his contemplation. Therefore he was taught Bhagavad-gītā. And after understanding Bhagavad-gītā he agreed to Kṛṣṇa's proposal. Kariṣye vacanaṁ tava naṣṭo mohaḥ smṛtir labdhā: (BG 18.73) "Now my illusion is gone. I have got my real consciousness, so I shall fight." So the fighting was Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
1973 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: Oh, five thousand dollars. She has got some assets. That is called strī-dhana. Strī-dhana means "woman's property." Nobody can touch it. Only, according to Manu-saṁhitā law, strī-dhana... Now they are changing. Strī-dhana, the son cannot touch, the husband cannot touch. Nobody can touch. But, after her death, the daughters will share that money. Because formerly, the daughters could not get share of the father's estate. Only the dowry which is given by the father at the time of her marriage. That much. But she could not claim any estate share. Therefore at the time of marriage, the dowry by ornaments, saris. Hundred pieces of sari. If one is rich man. All Benarsee sari, costly. And woman's nature is that if she gets good ornaments, saris, good food, she's satisfied. She doesn't want anything. She'll never become faithless to her husband. So these things are disappearing. Now rich man, rich man's wife, no ornament. (indistinct). Only the widows, they were without ornaments. Any woman who has got husband must have ornaments. Otherwise, insult. So individual liberty, individual prosperity, everything is disappearing. By the scientific improvement. That's all. This is the net result.
1974 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: ...even the richest man, their wife has no bangles. You see? And they are jewelries. Jewelries. Cow, butter, throwing butter like anything, and silk sari and enough food grains. What is more want for material advancement? That is real material ad... You have got everything, material needs. (break) If a man can feed his wife and children, then he is successful. There is no question of charity. There is no question of charity. But here it is said they were also giving in charity. (break) ...stopped to become real brāhmaṇa and give instruction to the society, and they also stopped giving charity to the brāhmaṇas. So therefore the society is so fallen. There is no instruction from the brāhmaṇas and no charity from the kṣatriya and vaiśya. (break) ...proṣita bhārtṛkā. By the dress a woman is recognized. When she does not dress very nicely, it is to be understood that her husband is out of home. When there is the vermillion, that means she is married. When the, what is called, division? Siti. Siti is in this side, then she is prostitute. The dress, when the woman dresses with white dress, they are widow, no husband.
Prabhupāda: She became widow at the age of eighteen years. So my father engaged her in worshiping Deity. My father was worshiping, and she was the assistant. Of course, she had two children by that time. Yes, go on. (break) ...Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa is all attractive. So immediately they attracted the other cows, although they were not actual mother. (break) ...doctor in Calcutta, young man, he married the daughter of a very rich man. So his father-in-law gave him a motorcar, so he advised... He was a businessman. He advised that "Even if you have no practice, you simply ride on this car and go around."
Prabhupāda: ...purpose of life. But they do not know what is the purpose of life. They have taken the idea of cats and dogs, simply sense gratification. Now, where, how there will be good government. (break) ...all leniency to the Mohammedans to get vote. That's a fact. (break) Mahābhārata, anywhere, or Rāmāyaṇa, you'll never find a woman is elected on the topmost post.
Dr. Patel: And that was widow.
Prabhupāda: No, woman is never, was made a king. That was... Now it has become a fashion.
Dr. Patel: And the widow with all her virtues.
Prabhupāda: Yes. (break) ...days greatest politician. Viśvāso naiva kartavyaḥ strīṣu rāja-kuleṣu ca. So our present head of the state is both woman and diplomat. That's all.
1975 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: Now it is not (indistinct). The widows, because widows, there is no widow marriage. So widows, they earn their livelihood by making pāpad and guri. They prepare at home guri, pāpad, and sell and make their livelihood.
Madhudviṣa: You have said that you have nullified the law of gravity, but how can we explain that everything is falling down?
Prabhupāda: Yes, the green leaves not falling down—the dry leaves falling down, under certain condition. So it is not the law of gravitation. Why the green leaves does not fall down? Only the rejected things are falling. The rejected, you also throw away, so nature is throwing away. Where is the question of gravity?
Madhudviṣa: When they go up in the space ship there is such a force holding the rocket ship down, they must have...
Prabhupāda: That is everything. Everything, everything will fall down on the ground, but the controlling power is the air. If the air is adjusted, then it will not fall down.
Prabhupāda: But still... Therefore I say. Still, she remained dependent on their son. That is is my proposition. Just like the sons, they lost the game and they were to be banished. Kuntī was not banished. So when the sons went to forest, Kuntī also followed because she thought that "I am widow. I am dependent on my sons. So wherever my sons will remain, I shall remain." She was not... She did not lose the game; neither she was ordered to go to the forest. Similarly, Sītā, Sītā, wife of Lord Rāmacandra. Lord Rāmacandra was requested by His father to go to the forest, not Sītā. Sītā was also a king's daughter. So she could go to her father that "My husband is going to the forest. Let me go to my father's house." She did not go. She preferred that "I shall go with my husband." So when husband said that "You are not banished. You stay at home," she said, "No. I am dependent on You. Wherever You shall go, I must go." This is Vedic culture.
Prabhupāda: So remain a devotee, widow. She is not allowed to marry.
Indian man (4): I know, Prabhupāda, one of your Godsisters in Vṛndāvana. She is very old. She is staying in Tīrtha Mahārāja's maṭha. So she told me she took her initiation when she was about sixteen year old and still she stays in the temple and she... (break) ...say you're the most pious person on this planet.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Hare Kṛṣṇa.
Prabhupāda: Rasamaṇi. Rasamaṇi's husband.
Dr. Patel: She was a widow.
Prabhupāda: Oh, husband, no. Yes. His son-in-law.
Dr. Patel: The son-in-law, Mathurā.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Ah, yes.
Dr. Patel: So he experimented as a Christian, as a Muslim, and all, and he said he came to the same truth.
Prabhupāda: That is rascaldom. That is rascaldom. He experimented means he was a fool. And a fool makes experiment, one who is fool. One who knows, why he should make experiment?
Dr. Patel: Scientists do make experiments.
Prabhupāda: Therefore they are fools. (laughter)
Prabhupāda: He was born when his mother was widow, and she became pregnant by the priest. So she was going to kill herself. Then her father restrained her, that "Don't do it. Your... In the womb there is a big personality." So the brāhmaṇa community did not like her.
Yaśomatīnandana: Oh, I see.
Prabhupāda: Therefore he is called Śaṅkarācārya.
Indian man (2): Varṇa-saṅkara.
Prabhupāda: Yes.
1976 Conversations and Morning Walks
Jayapatāka: In this house here. There's one lady lives here. One of the devotees was walking. He said she hears the kīrtana at night. One widow.
Prabhupāda: (break) ...bus came here.
Bhavānanda: Down this road, turns here.
Prabhupāda: Oh. It goes to Krishnagar.
Prabhupāda: No, no. The system is when the woman is at the care of father she does not cover. But when she is under the care of husband she must cover. By dress you can understand what she is, whether she is widow, whether she has got husband, whether she is prostitute. Everything by dress you'll understand. Nowadays the fashion is the woman has the bakan(?) sīmanta here, not here.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Prostitute.
Prabhupāda: But that was meant for prostitute. If the woman has sīmanta here, then you should understand. Then you can freely talk with. She is advertising, "Yes, I am prostitute. You can talk with me." Without that signboard no man is gentleman if he wants to talk with another woman. He can talk only with that woman. Neither you can talk with widow. That girl, our (sic:) Śivaśakti's mother? She is dressing herself as widow. That is very nice. Very nice. That simple dress will not attract men.
Yaśodānandana: He always tells nonsense jokes during his lectures. Therefore children and elderly widows are very much attracted to him for his flowery language and joking. But he has no substantial philosophy like yours.
Acyutānanda: We went to his program and sold books to the crowd.
Prabhupāda: Ah.
Yaśodānandana: But some way or other, he has some respect for you, Prabhupāda, for the great work you have done, Cinmayananda Swami. He has some respect for you. He knows...
Prabhupāda: But he, he wants to keep his prestigious position.
Yaśodānandana: And one of his favorite styles is that whenever he goes to a city, he always stays with elderly widows, very rich elderly widows, in their houses. Very strange.
Acyutānanda: I think the people know that he is bogus, but they just go for some entertainment because he is so... (Prabhupāda laughs) Yes, they just go for some... Some people go just because they want to hear some nice English, to improve their English knowledge.
Prabhupāda: He speaks good English?
Acyutānanda: Very... He's an orator.
Prabhupāda: He's M.A. in English. I know. He's...
Acyutānanda: He used to be, I heard, a journalist.
Prabhupāda: Yes, journalist.
Prabhupāda: Just see, how black snakes they are.
Yaśodānandana: They do pretty good with old widows, however. (laughter)
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Getting a lot of flowers here, it seems.
Prabhupāda: Yes. There must be always all full of flowers.
Rāmeśvara: To train him in the methods of...
Prabhupāda: Yes. So that means authority. You are teaching him to accept the authority. And you are teaching against authority. Everything contradictory. One side, contraceptive; one side, illicit sex. And the.... But Vedic civilization says, "All right, as soon as woman is widow, let her remain as a saintly woman—no more sex." But "No, you can marry and you can have sex hundred times daily, but use contraceptive." Is that civilization? To train one woman not to have any more sex, this is also contraceptive. And another way that "You can have sex any amount, as many times as you like. Take this contraceptive." Whose civilization better? And you call him to be trained up to accept authority and teach him, "Don't accept any authority." Is that education? Nonsense.
Prabhupāda: Yei bhaje sei boro. Here is woman (indistinct) engaged in worshiping (indistinct), she is great. Yei bhaje sei boro. So why should we hurt woman? Anyone who is engaged in service, he is big. The dress is not important. The advancement of Kṛṣṇa consciousness is important. We have to see from that formula. Just like we sometimes have to dress like ordinary gentleman and sell books. Does it mean he is deviating? No. He's serving Kṛṣṇa, dress or no dress. It doesn't matter. If you stick to the dress, "Oh, I have taken sannyāsī, I cannot..." He cannot sell the books. Where is your service influence? You must give service first. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Is that Līlāvatī? No. It is Līlāvatī? No. I was thinking that she is Līlāvatī dressed like a widow, because she never likes to be widow. (laughter)
Prabhupāda: Oh.
Pañcadraviḍa: She is widow.
Prabhupāda: Nobody is widow, because Kṛṣṇa is ultimate husband. Hare Kṛṣṇa.
Devotee: Jaya Prabhupāda!
Prabhupāda: Jaya!
Children: Jaya Śrīla Prabhupāda! Jaya Prabhupāda! Jaya Prabhupāda!
Prabhupāda: Jaya!
Prabhupāda: But they are simply interested with the pots. External. Bahir-artha-māninaḥ. Na te viduḥ svārtha-gatiṁ hi viṣṇuṁ durāśayā ye... (SB 7.5.31). They are thinking by changing the pot the advancement of civilization will increase. And that is going on. Just like America. You have got very big, big roads, nice cars, everything. You are changing the pot, but the eatable is the same.
Vipina: I heard a nice example given the other day about how living entities are suffering. A black widow, male and female black widow spiders, have sex life. After the sex life the female spider consumes the male spider, eats him alive.
Prabhupāda: What's that? Spider.
Vipina: Black widow. She will eat him after sex, kill him.
Prabhupāda: (laughs) So we are also killing by and by, and she kills immediately. That is the difference.
Hari-śauri: Your nephew was a taxi driver.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Nephew was my sister's son. We had to maintain one sister and her family. She became widow. So this is Hindu family obligation. When the daughter is widow, she comes to the father's shelter with all family. The father has to maintain.
Prabhupāda: Nobody is interested to retire from family life. Na te viduḥ svārtha-gatiṁ hi viṣṇum (SB 7.5.31). The difficulty is they do not know their own self-interest. Svārtha-gatim. Everyone says "My self-interest first." But he does not know what is his self-interest. Na te viduḥ. Actually that is the..., because he does not know self. (Hindi) Beginning of education in Bhagavad-gītā, self-interest. Kṛṣṇa giving first lesson: aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādān (BG 2.11). "You are talking like a very learned man, but your action is not like learned." Gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ. The subject matter, he was lamenting that "If I kill my brothers, my sister-in-laws will become widows and will become prostitute, and varṇa-saṅkara." "You are talking just like learned man, but on the basis of bodily relationship." So this is not the business of paṇḍita. Nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ. So this is the position.
Prabhupāda: They can. They'll not accept the process. They can. Everyone. Otherwise why these brahmacārīs? Just to be trained. That's all. By training we can find so many brahmacārīs. Just like by training you have given up so many things. You were accustomed to this illicit sex and meat-eating and... But you have given up. But why? By training. So if we request the government, "Let us open this brahmacārī..." They'll not help. But they'll make the other propaganda. They'll make contraceptive method, and naturally one Hindu widow is trained up not to marry again. Once she got a husband, that's all right. Now you convert your, you divert your attention to Kṛṣṇa. They'll make propaganda. "Why stop her sense gratification? Let her marry again, widow marriage." Why widow marriage? If there is voluntarily giving up begetting any more child, to avoid husband, why the widow marriage bill is introduced? Everything was natural, brahmacārī. The sterilization is already there. That will not be accepted. Widow, she's remaining refrained from. Just like we have now asked our girls not to dress attractively, widow.
1977 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: Everyone will throw a stone. Very tortuous death, stoning.
Hari-śauri: I remember my auntie's mother. She was Italian, and she used to wear black all the time. Just like the widows here, they wear white, so she was wearing black. She was a widow. So all the widows, even I saw some young women...
Prabhupāda: Here also, in Gujarat, they wear black, black sari.
Hari-śauri: Yes, right. And they wear black, and they don't dress attractively at all, and there's no question of marrying again.
Prabhupāda: And Russia also, respectable widows, they used to live in widow's home. They would never marry.
Hari-śauri: And they would wear black too.
Prabhupāda: I have seen that house when I was in Moscow. That was one of the... What is called...? They go to see, especially tourists.
Prabhupāda: That, no. Sightseeing. So anyway, they took us to a house.
Hari-śauri: Oh, you went on a sightseeing tour.
Prabhupāda: Ah, yes, that "Here, respectable widows." In Russia, after being widow, they used to live along with other respectable widows. They would never marry. Widow house. Live with queens and other respectable ladies. This was...
Hari-śauri: Now I think about seven or eight marriages out of every ten in Russia end up in divorce.
Prabhupāda: Everywhere.
Girirāja: The others are envious.
Prabhupāda: Yes, because they're ordinary men. Man's business is to become envious. An ordinary third-class men, there is always envy. Not only first class, but third class. And what to speak of Vaiṣṇava and paramahaṁsa. Third-class men. And the government is capturing them and giving sterilization because there is record—so many abortions in the American Hospital. The bābājīs are making pregnant the widows, and they are going for abortion. There are many cases, similar, and there is American Hospital.
Girirāja: In Vṛndāvana?
Hari-śauri: Yes.
Prabhupāda: Not all. But wherefrom they are becoming pregnant?
Hari-śauri: What is the need for any bābājī to get sterilized, anyway?
Prabhupāda: Not to get... Sterilization, they are being forced. The government understand that who is making them pregnant, these ugly widows. They are not coming from Delhi, government servant. (laughter) Bring them, paramahaṁsas. When I was coming, so many paramahaṁsa, they advised me, "Sir, why you are going to foreign country in this old age? You are in Vṛndāvana. Just go on with your bhajana." The bābājīs gave me advice. And actually, I was seventy years old.
Satsvarūpa: They had another question, whether these sannyāsīs' widows, that they would like to engage them, those who want to do it, as teachers. They think that would be a good...
Prabhupāda: That's nice.
Satsvarūpa: Yogeśvara is going to Los Angeles to produce children's books. He wants the books to be first class, just like your books, with illustrations, that are appreciated everywhere. He said a children's books illustration...
Prabhupāda: Yes. In Texas they also produce some books. Where are those books?
Bhāgavata: We are threatening their sense gratification.
Prabhupāda: Yes. So go on with fighting. We are not the Vṛndāvana bābājīs: "No, we are so perfect we do not go out of Vṛndāvana, and chant... Chant or not chant, we have got three dozen widows." This is going on. Sahajiyā. Still they are better because they have accepted Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Lord, than these demons. Our Guru Mahārāja said that although we condemn these sahajiyās, but they are better than the Māyāvādīs because they accept Kṛṣṇa as Supreme Lord. Their character is not good. But still, because they accept Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Lord somehow or other, they are better than these Māyāvādīs.
Prabhupāda: This widow life is also brahmacārī life. This printing is all right? At least for India it is very good.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. The paper quality I saw that Gopāla is using now is getting much better.
Prabhupāda: Yes.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The book could be sold anywhere in the world. The most recent publications of his could be sold anywhere.
Brahmānanda: His Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.
Prabhupāda: Yes. (indistinct) Very good.
Prabhupāda: (Hindi) Why one? Let him come. (Hindi) I think I speak in English. Otherwise they will not understand. The first thing is that "I am not this body." This is the first instruction of Bhagavad-gītā. And if you do not understand the first instruction, then where is the use of going ahead? This is the defect. Bhagavān said,
- aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ
- prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase
- gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca
- nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ
- (BG 2.11)
"My dear Arjuna, you are lamenting for your family and bodily relationships. But this is not the subject matter for learned persons. And you are talking just like a learned man, 'What will happen if these, my brothers' wives become widows and this and that?' " That means in a gentlemanly way He said that "You are talking like a nonsense because you have no real subject matter." Agatāsūṁś ca. So far this body is concerned, either living or dead, it is a not a subject matter for learned talk. It is a lump of matter.
Prabhupāda: Um hm. (aside:) You can go out. (break) ...but still, I have given you chance. So you want simply... Just like a widow. We... But we want that you may not be disturbed. Go ahead. Do business and have big building. Everyone's constructing big, big building, Marwaris. Why you cannot do? You have been given all chance. Yogināṁ puruṣam upaiti lakṣmīm. Unless one is dedicated, a yogi, very endeavoring... So we have showed a yogi endeavoring. Seventy years old, I was here in Vṛndāvana, and I came. For ten years I worked! Now see. All over the world I have got hundreds of buildings like this. I am the same man. At least one hundred temples we have only by working ten years.
Prabhupāda: Don't have widow.(?) (laughter) Kṛṣṇa is ultimate husband.
Hari-śauri: Kṛṣṇa is?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The ultimate husband.
Prabhupāda: This here Sac-cid-ānanda, where he is?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He is here. You want to speak with him about the kavirāja? We can call him.
Prabhupāda: Hm. Yes. So that cursian(?) massaging?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The powder massaging? Yes. Should we do it again?
Prabhupāda: Why not?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I like it. I think it's good for you. Can we put some just now? I can do? Okay. (break)
Prabhupāda: He is bho(?) kavirāja, 1971 or '2. No, fifty... (break) (Bengali conversation) (break)
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: ...arrange for that?
Prabhupāda: Let the first gate be finished.
Correspondence
1972 Correspondence
Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated May 30, 1972, and I have noted the contents. I don't know who has given you this idea of shaving your head and wearing white garments. In India only the widows are allowed to shave head. I have never suggested your husband to take to Sannyas, but we can discuss this matter further when we shall meet again in London for Rathayatra.
If Bombay is maintaining, what are others doing, eating and sleeping? Why does Jayapataka want allowance? Anyone who cannot collect money, they should go to Mayapur and live there and simply eat and sleep, like women and widows. I shall arrange for their eating and sleeping. But in cities, those should live who can collect and earn. The widows are not earning in Hindu society, they eat and sleep at others' expense. So if you are not able to earn in Calcutta, better all go to Mayapur and eat and sleep and I shall accommodate all widows, women, and others at Mayapur and Vrindaban. Otherwise why should we maintain such large establishment in Calcutta simply for eating and sleeping and spending. These two places will be reserved for those who cannot collect. For them I am making provision. Only the active members who can collect, they shall live in the city. Eating, sleeping members, they shall live in Mayapur, that's all.
1973 Correspondence
The wife is left without husband, and sometimes there is child to be raised, in so many ways the proposition that you, and some others also, are making becomes distasteful. We cannot expect that our temples will become places of shelter for so many widows and rejected wives, that will be a great burden and we shall become the laughingstock in the society. There will be unwanted progeny also. And there will be illicit sex life, that we are seeing already. And being the weaker sex, women require to have a husband who is strong in Krsna consciousness so that they may take advantage and make progress by sticking tightly to his feet. If their husband goes away from them, what will they do? So many instances are already there in our Society, so many frustrated girls and boys.
1974 Correspondence
To you my advice is, because you are very intelligent and educated girl, you forget your relationship with Gaurasundara. Now you become mixed up in Krsna business and live like a chaste Hindu widow woman. There are many ideal young Hindu widows who do not dress nicely at all, do not comb the hair, and who take bath three times daily in the Ganges, wear white sari and are engaged 24 hours a day in chanting Hare Krsna Mantra. The vivid example is Visnupriya devi, Lord Caitanya's wife. When Lord Caitanya left home accepting the renounced order of life, sannyasa, at that time Visnupriya was on the summit of youth, 16 years old, but when her husband became sannyasi she also became greater than sannyasa. She was chanting her rounds on the beads and after one round she was collecting one grain of rice.
1976 Correspondence
Don't try manual exertion, then again there is mixture and that is not desired. Simply keep yourself aloof from men—chanting, many more times as possible, read books, worship the deity. I am very much pleased with this girl Svati—she has adopted this white dress. She must not be attractive at all. A widow is forbidden to use ornaments, nice sari, decoration, combing the hair nicely. These are forbidden for the woman who is not with husband.
| Page Title: | Widow |
| Compiler: | Rishab, Mayapur |
| Created: | 23 of May, 2011 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=22, CC=4, OB=4, Lec=31, Con=32, Let=5 |
| No. of Quotes: | 98 |