So-called love

Expressions researched:
"so-called love"

SB Canto 3

When husband and wife aim at spiritual advancement by mutual cooperation, there is no consideration of personal beauty or the disruption of so-called love

SB 3.14.19, Purport:

When a man becomes qualitatively like the cats and dogs, he forgets his duties in cultivating spiritual values, and thus he accepts his wife as a sense gratificatory agency. When the wife is accepted as a sense gratificatory agency, personal beauty is the main consideration, and as soon as there is a break in personal sense gratification, there is disruption or divorce. But when husband and wife aim at spiritual advancement by mutual cooperation, there is no consideration of personal beauty or the disruption of so-called love. In the material world there is no question of love. Marriage is actually a duty performed in mutual cooperation as directed in the authoritative scriptures for spiritual advancement. Therefore marriage is essential in order to avoid the life of cats and dogs, who are not meant for spiritual enlightenment.

A conditioned soul is shackled by the charming beauty of a woman, by her solitary embraces and talks of so-called love

SB 3.30.8, Purport:

Family life within the kingdom of illusory energy, māyā, is just like a prison for the eternal living entity. In prison a prisoner is shackled by iron chains and iron bars. Similarly, a conditioned soul is shackled by the charming beauty of a woman, by her solitary embraces and talks of so-called love, and by the sweet words of his small children. Thus he forgets his real identity.

SB Canto 4

So-called love within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction

SB 4.25.42, Purport:

The word anātha-vargā is very significant in this verse. Nātha means "husband," and a means "without." A young woman who has no husband is called anātha, meaning "one who is not protected." As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband. Anyone who satisfies her desire for sex at that age becomes a great object of satisfaction. It is a psychological fact that when a woman at the age of puberty meets a man and the man satisfies her sexually, she will love that man for the rest of her life, regardless who he is. Thus so-called love within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction.

CC Adi-lila

By understanding the conjugal love of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa one is freed from the grip of attraction to material so-called love between man and woman.

CC Adi 4.35, Purport:

One who has not been attracted by the transcendental beauty of rasa will certainly be dragged down into material attraction, thus to act in material contamination and progress to the darkest region of hellish life. But by understanding the conjugal love of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa one is freed from the grip of attraction to material so-called love between man and woman. Similarly, one who understands the pure parental love of Nanda and Yaśodā for Kṛṣṇa will be saved from being dragged into material parental affection. If one accepts Kṛṣṇa as the supreme friend, the attraction of material friendship will be finished for him, and he will not be dismayed by so-called friendship with mundane wranglers. If he is attracted by servitorship to Kṛṣṇa, he will no longer have to serve the material body in the degraded status of material existence, with the false hope of becoming master in the future.

Generally people in their conditioned life engage in the pleasure of society, friendship and love. This so-called love is lust, not love.

CC Adi 5.224, Purport:

Generally people in their conditioned life engage in the pleasure of society, friendship and love. This so-called love is lust, not love. But people are satisfied with such a false understanding of love. Vidyāpati, a great and learned poet of Mithilā, has said that the pleasure derived from friendship, society and family life in the material world is like a drop of water, but our hearts desire pleasure like an ocean. Thus the heart is compared to a desert of material existence that requires the water of an ocean of pleasure to satisfy its dryness. If there is a drop of water in the desert, one may indeed say that it is water, but such a minute quantity of water has no value. Similarly, in this material world no one is satisfied in the dealings of society, friendship and love. Therefore if one wants to derive real pleasure within his heart, he must seek the lotus feet of Govinda.

CC Madhya-lila

There are also discussions of the distinction between so-called love and transcendental love on the platform of love of Godhead.

CC Madhya 1.43, Purport:

Devotional service is considered to be liberation with greater facilities, and there is a discussion of how to obtain it. There are also discussions of the transcendental state one achieves after attaining the devotional platform, which is the exact position of love of Godhead; the marginal symptoms of transcendental love, and how it is awakened; the distinction between so-called love and transcendental love on the platform of love of Godhead; and different types of humors and mellows enjoyed in relishing the lusty affairs of the gopīs, which are different from mundane affairs, which in turn are symbolical representations of pure love for Kṛṣṇa.

Teachings of Lord Caitanya

The lust, or so-called love, arising out of this body is as temporary as the body itself, but the love arising from the eternal soul in the spiritual world is on the spiritual platform, and that love is also eternal.

Teachings of Lord Caitanya, Chapter 31:

The loving affairs between Kṛṣṇa and the gopīs in Vṛndāvana are also transcendental. They appear as ordinary lusty affairs of this material world, but there is a gulf of difference. In the material world there may be the temporary awakening of lust, but it disappears after so-called satisfaction. In the spiritual world the love between the gopīs and Kṛṣṇa is constantly increasing. That is the difference between transcendental love and material lust. The lust, or so-called love, arising out of this body is as temporary as the body itself, but the love arising from the eternal soul in the spiritual world is on the spiritual platform, and that love is also eternal. Therefore Kṛṣṇa is addressed as the ever green Cupid.

Nectar of Devotion

Love of Godhead means completely giving up all so-called love for any other person.

Nectar of Devotion 19:

Great authorities like Bhīṣma have explained that love of Godhead means completely giving up all so-called love for any other person. According to Bhīṣma, love means reposing one's affection completely upon one person, withdrawing all affinities for any other person. This pure love can be transferred to the Supreme Personality of Godhead under two conditions—out of ecstasy and out of the causeless mercy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead Himself.

Mukunda-mala-stotra (mantras 1 to 6 only)

In the material world all relationships are actually mercenary but are covered by an illusory curtain of so-called love and affection.

Mukunda-mala-stotra mantra 1, Purport:

When a neophyte devotee deviates from the path of pure devotion and wants to simultaneously enjoy sense gratification and discharge devotional service, the all-merciful Lord very tactfully corrects the bewildered devotee by exhibiting before him the real nature of this material world. In the material world all relationships are actually mercenary but are covered by an illusory curtain of so-called love and affection. The so-called wives and husbands, parents and children, and masters and servants are all concerned with reciprocal material profit. As soon as the shroud of illusion is removed, the dead body of material so-called love and affection is at once manifest to the naked eye.

The so-called love of material things—even love for one's country, community, religion, or family, which is accepted as a superior qualification for civilized human beings—is simply a perverted reflection of the love of Godhead dormant in every soul.

Mukunda-mala-stotra mantra 3, Purport:

To remember the Lord and desire to serve Him are the spiritual qualities of the spirit soul. One can curb down these spiritual qualities by artificial means, but they will be reflected in a perverted way on the mirror of material existence. The spiritual quality of serving the Lord out of transcendental affinity will be pervertedly reflected as love for wine, women, and wealth in different forms. The so-called love of material things—even love for one's country, community, religion, or family, which is accepted as a superior qualification for civilized human beings—is simply a perverted reflection of the love of Godhead dormant in every soul. The position of King Kulaśekhara is therefore the position of a liberated soul, because he does not want to allow his genuine love of God to become degraded into so-called love for material things.

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

The male is trying also, satisfy his senses, and the female is also trying to satisfy her senses. Here the so-called love means... There is no love.

Lecture on BG 2.9 -- London, August 15, 1973:

At the present moment, everyone is trying to satisfy his senses. Ahaṁ mameti. Janasya moho 'yam (SB 5.5.8). Puṁsaḥ striyā maithunī-bhāvam etat. The whole material world is that... There are two living entities, male and female. The male is trying also, satisfy his senses, and the female is also trying to satisfy her senses. Here the so-called love means... There is no love. It cannot be love. Because the man and woman, nobody is trying to satisfy the other party's senses. Everyone is trying to satisfy his or her senses. A woman is loving a man for satisfying her senses, and the man is loving a woman for satisfying. Therefore, as soon as there is some little disturbance in the sense gratification, divorce. "I don't want it." Because the central point is personal sense gratification.

This material world, so-called love, society, friendship and love—everything is depending on that sense gratification, beginning from sex.

Lecture on BG 2.9 -- London, August 15, 1973:

The whole basic principle of this material world is sense gratification. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham (SB 7.9.45). This material world, so-called love, society, friendship and love—everything is depending on that sense gratification, maithunādi, beginning from sex. Yan maithunādi gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham. So when one becomes free from this maithunādi-sukham, he is liberated, he is liberated, svāmī, gosvāmī. So long one is attached to this maithunādi, sex impulse, he is neither svāmī nor gosvāmī. Svāmī means when one becomes master of the senses. As Kṛṣṇa is the master of senses, so when one becomes Kṛṣṇa conscious, he becomes master of the senses. It is not that senses should be stopped. No. It should be controlled. "When I require, I shall use it; otherwise not." That is master of senses. "I shall not act impelled by the senses. Senses should act under my direction." That is svāmī.

Without loving God, if I want to love my wife, that love is not perfect. Therefore so-called love is disrupted by divorce and so many things because that is not perfect love.

Lecture on BG 3.16-17 -- New York, May 25, 1966:

The whole process of human civilization should be to acquire love of God. Our love is now distributed in so many things. And that is misdistributed. The whole thing was to be targeted to the Supreme Lord. I was to love God, but instead of loving God, my love is distributed in so many things. And that is a misdirected civilization. How it is misdirected? Suppose if I do not love God, if I love my wife, my children, my countrymen, what is the wrong there? Oh, there is great wrong. That you do not know. That is most unscientific. Without loving God, if I want to love my wife, that love is not perfect. Therefore so-called love is disrupted by divorce and so many things because that is not perfect love. We do not know what is perfect love and how to conduct it. That is the defect of our civilization. Which we are accepting as love, that is simply a desire for sense gratification. That is not love. Love is different thing. So because... Why the love is defective in the material world? Because it is not properly discharged. We have to understand that thing.

In the material world there is no love. Because everyone is directed by lust. The so-called love.

Lecture on BG 3.31-43 -- Los Angeles, January 1, 1969:

That is explained in the Caitanya-caritāmṛta: lust and love, what is the difference between lust and love. In the material world there is no love. Because everyone is directed by lust. The so-called love... A young boy is trying to love a young girl, or young girl is trying to love a young..., but the background is lust. There is no love. It is simply a show of love. Therefore, after satisfying lust, there is divorce, there is separation. So in the material world there is no possibility of love. It is all lust. Love is only possible when you love God. There is no lust. There is no question of sense gratification. Simply for love: "Kṛṣṇa is my lover. Kṛṣṇa is my master. Kṛṣṇa is my friend."

The boy is searching after woman, and the girl is also searching after man. So they must be given. This is psychology. There is no question of so-called love.

Lecture on BG 4.19 -- Bombay, April 8, 1974:

There is one Mr. Marshall, economist. Marshall's economics we read in our economic class. He said that "Family affection is the impetus for economic development." He said that. That is fact. Therefore, according to Vedic system, a boy is married with a girl, and the husband and wife, as soon as... This is psychological. As soon as they become husband and wife... Because the boy is searching after woman, and the girl is also searching after man. So they must be given. This is psychology. There is no question of so-called love. The, the former system of marriage, the father and mother selects one boy and one girl, and by force they are married. But the economic position becomes very nice.

Here in this world there is no love because within this so-called love there is a motive.

Lecture on BG 9.4 -- Melbourne, April 22, 1976:

That is the perfection of life, perfection of religious life, if one learns how to love Kṛṣṇa and without any motive, ahaituki. Just like here in this world there is no love because within this so-called love there is a motive. I love a beautiful girl because she is beautiful. A girl loves a man because he has got money. So this is the meaning of this material love. But that, not that kind of love. Here there is a motive. So ahaituki, without any motive, apratihatā, without being debtor, without any obstacle. Love of God cannot be checked by any material impediments. You cannot say that "I am very poor. Oh, how can I love God?" You cannot say, "I am very rich," or "I am black," "I am white," "I am this," "I am that." No. These material impediments has nothing to do for loving God. In any condition you can love God. Ahaituky aprati..., yayātmā suprasīdati. And if you attain that stage, then you become completely happy.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

So long we do not love Kṛṣṇa, then whatever those so-called love we are showing to the society, friendship and love and country and community, they are all futile.

Lecture on SB 1.16.16 -- Los Angeles, January 11, 1974:

So when you love Kṛṣṇa, automatically you love other thing. But at the present moment, we do not love Kṛṣṇa, only the other things. But love is there. Just like to keep the tree quite fitness, you have to pour water in the root. But if you simply you give up the watering to the root, if you simply water the leaves, twigs, and the branches, then what you will get? Naturally there will be declination of the tree, automatically. If you do not give food to the stomach and if you supply food to the eyes, to the ears, to the... Then what will be your health? Similarly, so long we do not love Kṛṣṇa, then whatever those so-called love we are showing to the society, friendship and love and country and community, they are all futile. Therefore, in spite of so much advancement of so-called civilization, there is no love between one another. You try to love Kṛṣṇa. Then everything will be perfect.

Here in this material world the so-called love, lust, is motivated. "I'll get so much sense gratification; therefore I love a boy or a girl."

Lecture on SB 1.16.24 -- Hawaii, January 20, 1974:

love is deserved for Kṛṣṇa, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead. So the more we learn how to love the Supreme Lord, that is perfection of life. Sa vai puṁsāṁ paro dharmaḥ. And what kind of love? Ahaituky apratihatā: that love is not motivated, that "I want this thing; therefore I shall love." Here in this material world the so-called love, lust, is motivated. "I'll get so much sense gratification; therefore I love a boy or a girl." That is not love; that is lust. Love means without any motive. Without any motive. Ahaitukī. And that, that love cannot be checked by any material impediments. Ahaituky apratihatā yayātmā suprasīdati. If you can reach that love of Godhead, then you'll feel, "Oh, I am so fortunate." Otherwise we remain unfortunate. So love is there everywhere. Even in cats' and dogs' love there is love. But the perfection is when you actually find the person to love and you actually do it, that is perfection.

We should note it, that so-called love is bogus in this material world.

Lecture on SB 2.3.1-3 -- Los Angeles, May 22, 1972:

In the material world there cannot be prema. Prema means love. The prema is only possible in the spiritual world. Here, what is going on as love, that is not love, that is lust. A boy loves a girl, a girl loves a boy. That is not love, that is lust. As soon as there is some disturbance in lusty affair, they divorce. So therefore that is not love. So we should note it, that so-called love is bogus in this material world. Love cannot be possible. This very word love, prema, is specially reserved for Kṛṣṇa. Premā pum-artho mahān. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's preaching, that the highest perfection of life is to evoke one's dormant love for Kṛṣṇa.

Society, friendship and love is the gift of māyā, illusion. Actually, the society with which we associate, and friendship which we make here, and so-called love, how long?

Lecture on SB 3.25.13 -- Los Angeles, November 10, 1968:

We have got our senses, material senses, and we want to satisfy them without consideration, the sequence, the bad results of sense gratification. In the Bhāgavatam there is one passage in which it is stated that yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). Persons who are conditioned in the society, friendship, and love, this is the attraction for material life. "Society, friendship and love," they think, "divinely bestowed upon man." But that, it is not divinely bestowed upon man. From spiritual point of view, it is the gift of māyā. Society, friendship and love is the gift of māyā, illusion. Actually, the society with which we associate, and friendship which we make here, and so-called love, how long? Now, supposing I am now in human society. How long I shall remain in human society? I am preparing for my next life, or the next society. I may be transferred to dog society. And I may transfer, I may be transferred to god society. That will depend on my work.

Here the so-called love means he or she wants some return for sense gratification.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Boston, May 4, 1968:

Love means without any return, without any sense gratification, without any consideration. That is love. Āśliṣya. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's... Āśliṣya vā pāda-ratāṁ pinaṣṭu mām adarśanān marma-hatāṁ karotu vā (CC Antya 20.47). The lover is saying to the beloved, "Either You embrace me with love or you kick me, trample me down under Your feet. And if You make me brokenhearted without meeting me, so whatever You like, You can do. Still I love You." That is love. That is only possible to love Kṛṣṇa. That is not materially possible. Here the so-called love means he or she wants some return for sense gratification. So there the so-called love is lust. It is going in the market in the name of love. There is no love.

Here in this material world so-called love is personal sense gratification.

Lecture on SB 5.5.5 -- London, September 3, 1971:

When you try to satisfy your own senses, that is lust. And when you satisfy..., when you try to satisfy the senses of Kṛṣṇa, or God, that is called love. Here in this material world so-called love is personal sense gratification. A girl loves a boy, she has got the intention for personal sense gratification. Or the boy loves the girl, he has also the same, personal sense gratification. But the gopīs' love for Kṛṣṇa is not for personal sense gratification, but for Kṛṣṇa's sense gratification. That is the difference between gopī's love and people's lust.

If I so-called love you for my benefit, that is lust.

Lecture on SB 7.6.9 -- New Vrindaban, June 25, 1976:

Everyone got affection. The cats and dogs they have got also affection. But the affection is wrongly placed. We are affectionate to the skin, to this body. So this is wrong affection. Real affection is to the soul. That we do not know, we have no information. We are loving our child, that is very good, but not the soul, but the body. If someway or other the child is dead or my father is dead, we cry, "Father has gone." Why father has gone away? The body which you loved, that is lying there. So we do not know whom to love. So if we love actually, let us love the soul. How the soul... Love..., to love means for benefit. That is real love. I love you for your benefit; you love me for my benefit. If I so-called love you for my benefit, that is lust. So in this material world there cannot be love. It is not possible. Because everyone loves, so-called love. He loves his sense gratification. A young boy loves a young woman for his sense gratification, not for her sense gratification. Similarly she also. So in this material, this cheating is going on. I want to satisfy my lusty desires, but it is going on in the name of love. There cannot be any love in this material world. Because love is between spirit and spirit. But if we try to love the Supreme Spirit, Kṛṣṇa, then we shall understand how our love can be spread in the spiritual world.

Nectar of Devotion Lectures

As soon as the personal sense gratification is not satisfied, immediately the so-called love is divorced.

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, November 12, 1972:

In the material world, suppose a boy loves a girl and a girl loves a boy. That is personal sense gratification. As soon as the personal sense gratification is not satisfied, immediately the so-called love is divorced. No more love. In the Kali-yuga, it is stated in the śāstras, dāmpatye ratim eva hi. In... Love between husband and wife will be disturbed as soon as there is no satisfaction of sex desires. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. And in the Western countries, we find... In our country also, it has already begun; there are so many divorce cases. Mostly the divorce cases take place when there is disturbance in sex, sex satisfaction. So that is lust. But here, in the case of Kṛṣṇa and gopīs, that is different thing. The gopīs used to dress themselves so that Kṛṣṇa will feel satisfied, satisfaction. For Kṛṣṇa's satisfaction. They used to dress for Kṛṣṇa's satisfaction.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Even a love extended, so-called love extended, that nationalism, loving the countrymen, loving the humanity, that is also not perfect.

Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.334-341 -- New York, December 24, 1966:

We are hankering after love. We want to love somebody. That is the nature of living entity. But that love is frustrated in every step. The culmination of perfection of love can be realized when we understand, when we try to understand, and really love Kṛṣṇa. That can be achieved by Kṛṣṇa consciousness. And this Kṛṣṇa consciousness was preached by Lord Caitanya. When you become a lover of Kṛṣṇa, then all your loving propensities, all your desires, all your hankerings will be satisfied. And so long we do not understand what is love of Kṛṣṇa, what is Kṛṣṇa consciousness, we will love false things, and at the end we shall be frustrated. That is the going on. At every step we are being frustrated; still, we do not leave that path. Punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30). We are repeating the same mistake, same mistake, in every step.

Now, even a love extended, so-called love extended, that nationalism, loving the countrymen, loving the humanity, that is also not perfect. We have got practical experience. In our country, in India, Mahatma Gandhi, he loved his country very nicely. He sacrificed everything, and for thirty-five years he simply struggled for the, I mean to say, independence of his country, of his countrymen. But the result was, at the ultimate end, he was killed by his countrymen. After loving so much his country, the result was that he was killed by his country. So in this material world the love is like that. It is never perfect.

Festival Lectures

This body made of material elements is not our real body. False. Similarly, the girl's body is false. Therefore, because false, the so-called love and attraction is also false.

Ratha-yatra -- Los Angeles, July 1, 1971:

Just like you see one idol in the dress shop, very nice girl standing, but it is a false; similarly, this body made of material elements is not our real body. False. Similarly, the girl's body is false. Therefore, because false, the so-called love and attraction is also false. Therefore our so-called love breaks. There is no love here. It cannot be. There cannot be any love. This is... That tendency is there, but due to this material contamination, lust is going on in the name of love. Actually it is lust.

Real love is gold, and the so-called love, or lust, is iron.

Ratha-yatra -- Los Angeles, July 1, 1971:

We should discriminate between lust and love. Love cannot be accepted unless it is reposed in Kṛṣṇa. That is love. And all other, everything, that is lust. It appears to be similar, but love and lust, there is so much difference of value. Just like gold and iron. Gold and iron. Real love is gold, and the so-called love, or lust, is iron. How you can evaluate gold and iron on the same level? It is not possible. So you have to learn real love. That is how to love Kṛṣṇa. Our whole process is training people how to love Kṛṣṇa.

Initiation Lectures

The gopīs' love with Kṛṣṇa is gold, and our so-called love here is iron.

Initiation Lecture -- Hamburg, August 27, 1969:

Caitanya-caritāmṛta kar has distinguished that the loving affairs of the gopīs with Kṛṣṇa and the ordinary, these lustful dealings of human beings, there is a gulf of difference. He compares that the gopīs' love with Kṛṣṇa is gold, and our so-called love here is iron. As there is difference between gold and iron, similarly there is difference between the loving affairs of gopīs with Kṛṣṇa and these mundane, so-called lusty affairs between men and women or boys and girls. It is never equal.

Wedding Ceremonies

Here in this material world, the so-called love is not actual love. It is lust.

Paramananda & Satyabhama's Wedding -- Montreal, July 22, 1968:

This conjugal love between man and woman is not unnatural. It is quite natural because it is in the Absolute Truth, as we find from Vedic description, that the Absolute Truth, Personality of Godhead, is engaged in conjugal loving affairs, Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. But the same Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa love matter has permeated through matter. Therefore it is perverted reflection. Here in this material world, the so-called love is not actual love. It is lust. Here the male and female are attracted not by love but by lust. So in this Kṛṣṇa consciousness society, because we are trying to approach the Absolute Truth, the lust propensity has to be converted into pure love.

General Lectures

The so-called love is temporary.

Lecture Excerpt -- San Francisco, September 14, 1968:

Just try to understand. Material..., what is materialism and spiritualism. Materialism means sense gratification, and spiritualism means to love God. That's all. Personal sense gratification. Here the relationship is just like a girl or a boy. The so-called love is temporary. That's all. There is no love. As soon as there is some discrepancy of sense gratification, oh, there is separation. There is divorce. There is separation. Because the so-called love is based on sense gratification. That is materialism. And when there is no sense gratification, the satisfaction of the lover only, that is spiritualism. So in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, when your business will be only to satisfy Kṛṣṇa, then you must know that your senses and your body have become spiritualized. Actually, in higher platform, there is nothing material thing. Higher platform means when a person sees nothing but Kṛṣṇa as everything. Even himself, he's also Kṛṣṇa.

"Love your society, love your country, love the whole human society, humanity." But all this extended love, so-called love, will not give you satisfaction unless you reach to the point to love Kṛṣṇa.

Lecture -- Seattle, September 30, 1968:

We are teaching people to love Kṛṣṇa, that's all. Our program is to love, to place your love in the proper place. That is our program. Everyone wants to love, but he is being frustrated on account of his love being misplaced. People do not understand it. They are being taught, "First of all, you love your body." Then little extended, "You love your father and mother." Then "Love your brother and sister." Then "Love your society, love your country, love the whole human society, humanity." But all this extended love, so-called love, will not give you satisfaction unless you reach to the point to love Kṛṣṇa. Then you'll be satisfied.

What is the difference between material so-called love and Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa love? The difference is, in the material world, both the parties, they are trying to satisfy their own senses.

Srila Prabhupada and Disciples Speak -- New York, April 9, 1969:

Material life means satisfying our own senses, and vairāgya-vidyā, or devotional service, means satisfying Kṛṣṇa's senses. That's all. What is the difference between material so-called love and Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa love? The difference is, in the material world, both the parties, they are trying to satisfy their own senses. It doesn't matter. When a boy loves a girl or a girl loves a boy, the motive is his or her own sense satisfaction. But the gopīs, their view is... Not only gopīs. All the cowherds boys, mother Yaśodā, Nanda Mahārāja, the Vṛndāvana party. So all of them—ready to satisfy Kṛṣṇa.

Our worshipable object is that spiritual love, Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. But the so-called love in this material world is only a perverted reflection.

Lecture -- Boston, April 25, 1969:

Boys and girls, they are mixing, making friendship. That is nice. That is natural. A young boy is attracted by a young girl, or young girl is attracted by young boy. That is not unnatural, because it is in the Supreme Lord. That nice love attraction is Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is a boy, sixteen-years-old boy, and Rādhārāṇī is also a fifteen-years-old girl. Not even one year's... I think, fifteen days younger. So our worshipable object is that spiritual love, Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. But the so-called love in this material world is only a perverted reflection. It is only lust. So you have, by austerity, you have to change that lust into love. If you love one girl, if you love one boy, that is very nice. That is natural. That is not unnatural. But don't change that love. Be combined permanently. Be combined. Not that "After few months I give up this girl," "I give up this boy," "I capture another." No. That is austerity. That is austerity.

In this material world also, the so-called love... If a boy loves some girl or a girl loves some boy, naturally, he thinks always of him.

Lecture -- Gorakhpur, February 17, 1971:

All big, big yogis, there may be, but a person who is always absorbed in thought of Kṛṣṇa within himself, he is greater than all such big, big yogis. Greater than the greatest yogi. Yoginām api sarveṣāṁ mad-gatenāntarātmanā. Mad-gata means his life is so molded that he cannot stay without thinking of Kṛṣṇa. Mad-gata. He has become absorbed. That is samādhi. Mad-gatenāntarātmanā śraddhāvān. Not for artificial makeshow, but śraddhāvān, with faith and love. Śraddhāvān bhajate yo māṁ sa me yuktatamo mataḥ. But how this stage can be attained? This stage can be attained only by persons who have developed pure love of God. Just like... It is very easy to understand. If you love somebody, always you'll think of him. In this material world also, the so-called love... If a boy loves some girl or a girl loves some boy, naturally, he thinks always of him. So to think of Kṛṣṇa always means you must develop your love.

If Parabrahman has no such tendency how to enjoy, wherefrom this so-called love in this material world between young boy and young girl comes?

Lecture -- Jakarta, February 26, 1973:

We are seeking after ānanda. Every one of us, we are seeking after pleasure. This is struggle for existence. Everyone wants to be happy, peace and pleasure. But wherefrom this idea comes? The Vedānta-sūtra says janmādy asya yataḥ: (SB 1.1.1) it also comes from Parabrahman. So if Parabrahman has no such tendency how to enjoy, wherefrom this so-called love in this material world between young boy and young girl comes? There cannot be any existing. It is only perverted reflection of that pleasure potency of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. It is only perverted reflection. It is not false. It is temporary, perverted.

1969 Conversations and Morning Walks

Here, the so-called love is lust.

Room Conversation -- April 11, 1969, New York:

Prabhupāda: The love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, it is called parakiya. They are not married husband and wife. But Rādhārāṇī appears to be wife of some other gentleman. But Kṛṣṇa, from childhood, They were friends. So Radhārāṇī could not forget Kṛṣṇa. She used to come to Kṛṣṇa and stand like that. That's all. And He was playing. Kiśora-Kiśorī, They were boy and girl. But there is no inebriety. Just like here the boy and girls mix and there are so many abominable things. Distressful, which is binding their material bondage. So that friendship between boy and girl is there, but without inebriety. Kṛṣṇa had so many gopīs, girlfriend, but there was no contraceptive pills. (laughter) That is the beauty. Here, the so-called love is lust. And there, that is the highest. The same thing, obverted, perverted reflection.

Here, in this world, the so-called love or lust is frustrated and followed by so many calamities.

Room Conversation -- April 11, 1969, New York:

Prabhupāda: The impersonalists, they think that in the material varieties there are so many abominable inebrieties, therefore in the spiritual world all these things should be minus, void. That is their material calculation. They cannot think that in the spiritual world also there is love. Because here, in this world, the so-called love or lust is frustrated and followed by so many calamities that therefore they cannot conceive that in the spiritual world also there is love. Their idea, in one sense, is right, that how these nonsensical things can exist in the spiritual world? Therefore they make it altogether minus. No variety. Impersonal. That is less intelligence. They cannot understand that photograph is the reflection of the actual person. There is everything in detail. A movie. Actually, the same man is laughing, walking, dress, everything, but it is all false. That they cannot understand. Therefore the Vaiṣṇavas say they are less intelligent. The real understanding should be that if in the real person all these features are not present, how they can be reflected in the photograph?

1972 Conversations and Morning Walks

During marriage ceremony, the family consideration is very strong. Now that is dwindling. Formerly, family traditions, then horoscope. The so-called love was not given any importance.

Room Conversation with John Griesser (later initiated as Yadubara Dasa) -- March 10, 1972, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Because India, the caste system is very strong. So a brāhmaṇa will never accept a girl born into a śūdra family, although in śāstra it says that you can accept. (Sanskrit) means family member is respectful. Your family consideration is very... During marriage ceremony, the family consideration is very strong. Now that is dwindling. Formerly, family traditions, then horoscope. The so-called love was not given any importance, the so-called love. As in other countries the boys select wife or girls selects... No. There is no importance on this. The father, mother will see the horoscope, whether this boy and girl will agree according to the horoscope. Rāja-yoga(?) There are some calculations, astronomical calculations, from his birth, from her birth, and the expert astrologer will select, "Yes, this boy and this girl will be happy." Then they are married. If there is any discrepancy, they will deny, "No." These were the considerations. Then family tradition. What is the tradition of the boy's father's family, mother's family, so many things they calculate, then the marriage settlement, "Yes."

Here the so-called love is for some purpose.

Conversation with Bajaj and Bhusan -- September 11, 1972, Arlington, Texas, At Their Home:

Prabhupāda: The Kṛṣṇa prema, love of Kṛṣṇa, is within everyone. That love is being expressed in so many ways. Actually that is love for Kṛṣṇa. So when one invokes that love in proper condition, then he loves Kṛṣṇa and loves everyone. Here the so-called love is for some purpose. Just like we are... I have come to this country. My purpose is not to get some money from them. Because I think, "My Guru Mahārāja ordered that 'You go to the Western countries,' " so I have come to the Western countries to give them Kṛṣṇa. And because they, everyone has Kṛṣṇa prema, they are accepting it.

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Because they have failed to love God, all the so-called love, humanitarian, philanthropic works and, you know, they have become useless.

Conversation with Mr. Wadell -- July 10, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: "That system of religion is perfect which teaches how to love God." It doesn't matter, Christian religion, Hindu religion, Mohammedan religion, it doesn't matter. But God minus, this is the present position. Everyone wants to make minus God everything. This is going on. They have no clear idea. If I want to love you, I must have a clear idea of you. On vague idea, I cannot love. But they have no clear idea what is God. So how they can love God? And because they have failed to love God, all the so-called love, humanitarian, philanthropic works and, you know, they have become useless.

Here, the so-called love is lust only. And because it is not love, therefore such kind of love does not continue very long. It breaks.

Morning Walk -- August 30, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: In the gopīs' love with Kṛṣṇa, there is no lust. That is the difference.

David Lawrence: Reverence isn't it, reverence for Him.

Prabhupāda: Here, the so-called love is lust only. It is going on in the name of love. Actually it is not love. And because it is not love, therefore such kind of love does not continue very long. It breaks.

David Lawrence: Yes.

Prabhupāda: But we don't find in the history of spiritual world the love between the gopīs and Kṛṣṇa broke at any time. That is the difference.

Here, so-called love is lust and it breaks. But in the gopīs' love with Kṛṣṇa there is no breaking but increasing of love.

Morning Walk -- August 30, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: The same thing is there, but they are dragging this lusty affairs to Kṛṣṇa. Generally, the rascals, they paint Kṛṣṇa's picture with gopīs so that their lusty activities may be supported—Kṛṣṇa also had like that. This is misunderstanding. They do not take into calculation: Here, so-called love is lust and it breaks. But in the gopīs' love with Kṛṣṇa there is no breaking but increasing of love. So how they can compare Kṛṣṇa's love with gopīs with these lusty affairs?

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

That is lust. That is not love. And as soon as my lusty desire is not fulfilled, then you are my enemy.

Morning Walk -- July 18, 1975, San Francisco:

Bahulāśva: So all relationships in this material world are...

Prabhupāda: Inimical.

Bahulāśva: Based on this enemy.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Bahulāśva: Even the so-called love.

Prabhupāda: No, that is lust. That is not love. And as soon as my lusty desire is not fulfilled, then you are my enemy. (break) If we take shelter of any materialistic person, that is like to take the..., capture the tail of a dog and try to swim over the Pacific Ocean. It is like that.

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Here the so-called love is not permanent, but when you love Kṛṣṇa it is permanent exchange of loving humor or mellow.

Evening Darsana -- July 13, 1976, New York:

Prabhupāda: A little love for God can save you from the greatest danger of life. That is real love. So if you love Kṛṣṇa, then you can love with everyone. Just like we are spreading this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. It is out of love for Kṛṣṇa. Otherwise we would have sat down at home and love Kṛṣṇa. Why you are trying to spread this love exchange to others? Because I know or we know that here in this material world, the so-called love exchange is frustrating, and people are being frustrated. So let him love Kṛṣṇa, then we'll be successful. This is our mission. Everyone has got loving propensity. So this child has now love for his mother, for the mother has got... But as soon as the child will grow, the love is finished, he will love somebody else. When he becomes young man, his love is transferred to somebody else. So here the so-called love is not permanent, but when you love Kṛṣṇa it is permanent exchange of loving humor or mellow. So that is required. Sai this called sai-eva. Sai(?) means permanent it will never end. You'll relish loving mellows eternal.

1969 Correspondence

The so-called love which goes on in the material world is simply a perverted form of dasya rasa.

Letter to Mahapurusa -- Los Angeles 25 January, 1969:

Regarding your questions, the so-called love which goes on in the material world is simply a perverted form of dasya rasa. Everything in this world is a perverted form of rasa. Just like Yasoda is loving Krishna as her Son. So this is vatsalya rasa, parental love. When Krishna is separate from Yasoda, she cried for whole life and thus became blind. In this world there is not a single instance where a mother has suffered so much in separation from her son. Therefore, it is perverted reflection of the real love.

1971 Correspondence

The whole process is, of this Krishna Consciousness movement, to meet the waves of material nature. The waves are called agitation by hunger and thirst, lamentation, confusion, illusion in so called love and affection, pangs of old age and disease and at last meeting with death.

Letter to Carol -- Nairobi 7 October, 1971:

The whole process is, of this Krishna Consciousness movement, to meet the waves of material nature. The waves are called agitation by hunger and thirst, lamentation, confusion, illusion in so called love and affection, pangs of old age and disease and at last meeting with death. All these things can be changed simply by engaging ourselves in the service of the Lord which keeps us always in the transcendental position. Some way or other if we are able to keep in the transcendental position by devotional service we remain completely untouched by the contamination of matter. By the grace of Lord Caitanya things have been reduced to a very easy operation: by chanting Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.

1973 Correspondence

So-called love, here, means "you gratify my senses, I'll gratify your senses,"

Letter to Lynne Ludwig -- Los Angeles 30 April, 1973:

The word for love, actually love we find in Vedas is "prema", meaning one's love of God, only. Outside God, there is no possibility of loving. Rather it is lusty desire the whole range of human activities, whatever and whenever, so long with this atmosphere of matter, the every activity of the human being—or any living entity—is based upon or given impetus, and thus polluted, by the attraction between male and female, sex-desire. For that sex-life, the whole universe is spinning round—and suffering! That is the harsh truth. So-called love, here, means "you gratify my senses, I'll gratify your senses," and as soon as that gratification stops: immediately there is divorce, separation, quarrel, hatred. So many things there are, going on under this false conception of love. Actual love means love of God, Krishna.