For me, either live or die, I don't mind. But if you are trying for my life, try it very seriously. That is my formula. No negligence

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Expressions researched:
"For me, either live or die, I don't mind. But if you are trying for my life, try it very seriously. That is my formula. No negligence"

Conversations and Morning Walks

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

For me, either live or die, I don't mind. But if you are trying for my life, try it very seriously. That is my formula. No negligence.
Room Conversation -- October 3, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: So you cannot understand Bengali. Bhagatji can understand...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hindi.

Prabhupāda: Hindi, also Bengali. Sac-cid-ānanda also.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, but neither of them are like Bhakti-caru was.

Prabhupāda: So call him.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yeah. That's what I'm going to do, because the difference is this: Sac-cid-ānanda is a little scatterbrained; he's not very clear-headed. And Bhagatji has so many ideas. But Bhakti-caru is smart. Bhakti-caru speaks Bengali and he's smart.

Prabhupāda: And Hindi also.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And Hindi. Bhagatji just has too many ideas. Just like Bhagatji's big idea is "I have to give Prabhupāda fresh cow's milk from my cows." He's thinking, Bhagatji... His thing is he's thinking already, "I want to give Prabhupāda milk, cow's milk." But someone should be here who doesn't want anything except to take the kavirāja's instructions. I get afraid about Bhagatji like that.

Prabhupāda: No. Kavirāja also said, but with...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Ādā.

Prabhupāda: Ādā.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: But only once.

Prabhupāda: Yes. And at night, Complan.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He said you can take Complan, I think, more than once, if you want.

Prabhupāda: No, he's coming. Ask him then. The best thing will be... Call him immediately.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Bhakti-caru. All right. I think so also. And he would want to be here. I have no... None of us have any problem working cooperatively. It's just that I don't want to see someone be given this responsibility who's not qualified, like Sac-cid-ānanda. I don't want to trust you to his care, Sac-cid-ānanda's care. That would be very bad on our part. And Bhagatji's just... I don't know how to explain it, but I'd rather it be Bhakti-caru.

Prabhupāda: No. All of them can cooperate. Anyway, call him.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: All right. What does the kavirāja say about your chances, Śrīla Prabhupāda? What does he say about your chances of surviving? (Prabhupāda coughs) How can you drink milk when the cough is like this? I cannot understand how they can recommend milk.

Prabhupāda: No, that counteracts any...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Ādā?

Prabhupāda: He is giving medicine for that.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hm. I couldn't follow anything. It was all in Bengali. (Prabhupāda coughs up mucus)

Prabhupāda: So far that... He said that "Life is finished, and you are simply still living by the grace of Kṛṣṇa. And there is still life. Let us try it." Now he is coming. Ask him daily what...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. He speaks English. He spoke with me in English. I think he speaks some English, the kavirāja, a little bit. So you feel a little hopeful?

Prabhupāda: Eh. For me, either live or die, I don't mind. But if you are trying for my life, try it very seriously. That is my formula. No negligence. Whatever he advises, that is good.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: It's good if you can try and make the cough come out, that mucus. You have to give a little extra exertion, I think, to get it out. Is that the bedsore, Śrīla Prabhupāda? (pause) Whoever does this medicine with the kavirāja should be intelligent person. That's all I'm saying. As you said to me, "Don't be negligent." Of course, Your Divine Grace knows me very well, so you called me to tell me that I should cooperate. But my cooperation is immediately there when I see someone is intelligent enough to do it. So Bhakti-caru is fit for that.

Prabhupāda: So call him immediately.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: All right. He said you're living by the grace of Kṛṣṇa. That means it's a miracle that you're alive.

Prabhupāda: I tell him...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: In Bombay you appeared to be very hopeless for living. Now that you're in Vṛndāvana, I think you will become more hopeful.

Prabhupāda: That kavirāja was also hopeless.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Which one?

Prabhupāda: Bombay.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: (laughs) That Bombay kavirāja was also hopeless.

Hari-śauri: Today's was as well?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No, no. That Bombay kavirāja was a businessman. He had a Seiko watch on, special Cross pen, pān in the mouth. He was a pākā bāniyā. (Prabhupāda coughs up mucus) This man appears to be a genuine kavirāja.

Prabhupāda: I think so. So are you sending him telegram?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. I'll do that right now.

Prabhupāda: Where is Haṁsadūta?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You want to see him?

Prabhupāda: I'll sit down.