Perhaps you know that Kṛṣṇa's vastraṇaṁ-līlā. Vastraṇaṁ-līlā means... In India still there are places in Punjab when girls and women take bath they keep their clothings in the river, I mean to say, not in the bathroom. In the rivers, they keep their clothings on the shore, on the bank, and they dip into the water completely naked. So that place is completely separate for the women. No man can go there. That is the system still somewhere. They will take bath fully and they will come and again dress. And woman, woman, they are all naked, there was no shame. They, no man and no boy can go there. This vastraṇaṁ-līlā was that Kṛṣṇa stealthily went there and tookup all their clothes, and got up on a tree, (laughter) (laughs) with the clothings. And they cannot come out of the water. "Kṛṣṇa, You are very naughty. Give us our clothes. Give us our clothes." That was vastraṇaṁ-līlā.(laughter) The purpose was the, the people interpret in a different way, but the purpose is very significant. Only devotees can understand that all these girls, day before, they prayed to Yogamāyā that, everyone prayed, that "Let us have Kṛṣṇa as our husband." Now Kṛṣṇa was at that time only 15, 16 years, no older. In India still the boys of 15, 16 years, they are not married. At least he must be 20, 22 years. And girls are married between 12 to 16 years. That is the Vedic system. Neither it was possible for Kṛṣṇa to marry all the girls, but they all prayed. So how to fulfil their desire? That was vastraṇaṁ-līlā. The vastraṇaṁ-līlā means that according to any human civilization, system, a woman can become naked only before husband. So Kṛṣṇa fulfilled that, that "You are naked, I am before you,so I am your husband." That's all. Wholesale acceptance. That was the purpose. But the nonsense people they differently, differently interpret.
Unmarried (Lectures)
Lectures
Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures
Either you are a sannyāsī or you are a householder or brahmacārī, you have to work for Kṛṣṇa. But the advantage of sannyāsī is that because he has no encumbrances behind, he is detached from family relationship, he has full time service for Kṛṣṇa. Similarly brahmacārī, one who is not married, simply working under the order of the spiritual master, he has also cent percent time to work.
If one can provide his family very comfortably, he is considered as very expert. But the family maintenance is done by the cats and dogs also. They also maintain their family, their wife, children, very nicely, according to their standard. But this age is so fallen that if one, even one is not married, the preliminary necessities of life, eating, sleeping, sex life and protection from fear... These are the preliminary necessities.
So in the human form of life, here there is a prerogative, there is a chance to know what is God and what is my relationship with Him. That is called sambandha-jñāna. Sambandha, abhidheya. Then execution of the duty. Just like sambandha. We can understand. An unmarried girl and unmarried boy, there is first of all sambandha: the father, mother makes the relationship. Then there is function between husband and wife. That is called abhidheya.
A married man becomes responsible. Because there is affection, family affection. And one who is not married, he's irresponsible. Because there is no family affection. That is the basic defect of the present society. There is no family affection. They are all irresponsible.
One who produces illegitimate children, the world becomes full of varṇa-saṅkara, unwanted children, and thus the whole world becomes hell. This is stated in the Bhagavad-gītā. Now it is a fact, everyone knows, that so many children are... Especially in the Western country, I have seen. A girl is not married, but she has got child. What is that? That is varṇa-saṅkara. So varṇa-saṅkara increases; the world becomes hellish.
So sex life is so strong. Although socially it is forbidden that brother and sister should not marry or should not have sex life, but that is also there. It is Kali-yuga. So that sex life facility is there automatically by nature. So why there is forbidden, "Not this sex life, not that..." Just like we forbid, no illicit sex, that without marriage, there is no sex. One may argue, "What is the difference, married sex and not-married sex? The business is the same."
But it is my experience, the woman class, they are not happy in the Western countries. And still in our country, although we are so fallen, still our woman class remains satisfied. Being predominated, they are happy. They are happy. That is my practical experience. So I do not wish to discuss this point very much, but according to our Manu-saṁhitā, it is said that women should not be free. Na strī svātantryam arhati: "Svātantryam is not allowed to the woman class." Actually, we have seen, and by experience, those who are under the domination of the father when they, still they are not married, they are happy. Those who are under the domination of the husband after being married, they're happy. And those who are under the domination of elderly children, they are happy.
Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures
Young man, he is after some young girl, or young girl is after some young man. So childhood is being spoiled by playing, and youthhood is being spoiled by searching after the opposite sex, and old man, vṛddhās tāvat cintā-magnāḥ. And old man is thinking, "Now I could not do so, I could not situate this boy into right position. The girl is still unmarried. Now I am going to die." So many things, thoughts. Parame brahmaṇi ko 'pi na lagnāḥ(?). "And nobody is interested with Parabrahman." This is the world.
Prabhupāda: So this Parāśara actually was not husband of Satyavatī. When Satyavatī was not married, Parāśara gave birth to Vyāsadeva. Later on Satyavatī became the wife of Mahārāja Śantanu, father of Bhīṣmadeva. This Satyavatī was the daughter of a fisherman. She was neither born of a brāhmaṇa father or kṣatriya father. So formerly, a higher-caste man could accept a girl born of lower caste, but a lower-caste man could not accept a girl born of higher caste. That was the system.
The marriage ceremony or the meat-eating, the so much ritualistic performances, there is motive. What is that motive? Motive is restriction. Just like the same example, marriage: the real idea is to restrict the boy and the girl to one woman and one man. That is the idea, main idea. If he's not married, then he will be just like cats and dogs.
God means the wisest, the richest, the most powerful, the most beautiful. So He was so beautiful that 16,108 very, very beautiful women... And this is married. And unmarried, many millions, they were attracted by Kṛṣṇa, the most beautiful. Śyāmasundara. His name is sundara, very beautiful. Although śyāma, blackish, still He's so attractive.
So modern civilization is not strictly following the Vedic injunction. Therefore, especially I have seen in the Western countries, there is no home practically. There is no homely happiness, because women are allowed to mix freely and there is no protection. They are not married, there is no husband. The father also does not take care. As soon as the girl becomes fifteen, sixteen years, she goes away. Therefore I have practically seen there is no home, there is no peace in the Western countries.
Kumāra means "who is not married." So Kṛṣṇa remained in Vṛndāvana up to sixteen years. Therefore He remained always kumāra, Nanda-kumāra, Nanda-nandana.
So when Kuntī was young, not married, so Durvāsā became the guest of her father, and she served Durvāsā Muni very nicely, attending as maidservant. Although she was king's daughter, but because Durvāsā was guest, he was taken care of very nicely. So Durvāsā became very pleased and gave her this blessing, that "You can call any demigod, as you like." So out of curiosity she chanted the mantra and called the sun-god, Vivasvān. So he came. So he wanted to give her a child, benediction. She said that "I am unmarried. I cannot have child." "No, this child will be born from your ear." Akṣata-yoni. Akṣata-yoni means a girl who has no union with any other man. That is called akṣata-yoni. So in this way Karṇa was born,
Just like He married 16,000 wives. When He married He was one, and 16,000 girls offered the surrender to Kṛṣṇa that: "We are now kidnapped. If we go home, nobody will marry us." That is a strict Vedic system. If an unmarried girls goes out of home even for one night, nobody will marry her. Still it is going on. Nobody will marry her. So this is the old system.
Lord Śiva was in meditation, and Pārvatī was not married at that time with Lord Śiva, although she was destined to marry Lord Śiva, because in the transcendental world, the husband and wife, they are also eternal. Even the wife or husband changes body, again they become husband and wife. This is in the higher sense. They do not separate.
By the woman's dress, one will understand who is she—whether she is living with her husband, whether she is widow, whether she is unmarried, or whether her husband is out of home, or whether she is prostitute. The culture is so nice, simply by the dress one will understand that "Here is a woman; her husband is not at home. Here is a woman; she is widow. Here is a woman; she is prostitute." In this way, there are. "Here is a woman, she is not married." By dress, one will understand.
So, kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). That, he was preaching: "My dear friends, we are now unmarried boys, so this is the opportunity. Now we are unmarried. We are not very much attached to family life. This is the opportunity." Kaumāra ācaret prājñaḥ. Because as soon as one becomes materially affectionate... Here it is said, prākṛtena ātmanā viprāḥ sneha-moha-vaśam. The more we increase... When the child, when we are children, we have got little affection for playing or for father, mother, that's all, limited. But the more we grow, and especially when you are married, then this material affection increases, more entangled.
My eldest sister was married when she was nine years old, before my birth. She is the eldest. And my second sister was married at the age of twelve, twelve years. And my third sister was married at the age of 11 years. So by the (indistinct) 12 years, the marriage must be finished. That was the duty of the father. I remember, because my second sister was going to be twelve years, my mother said to my father that "I shall go to the river and commit suicide. The daughter is not married." (laughter) You see. The father was very sorry, "Yes, I am trying. What can I do?"
Arjuna was also thinking before fighting. He was arguing with Kṛṣṇa that "If I kill my brothers, all the my sister-in-laws, they'll be widow." And there was no such thing as widow-marriage in India. No. No widow can marry. Why? Because the woman population is greater than the man. If widow again marries, then the unmarried girl does not get chance to have another husband.
So Kuntī, she was a girl; she made an experiment, immediately called the Sūrya, the sun-god, and he came. So Sūrya asked him (her) that "You have called me. You take some benediction. Take a son from me." She refused. "No, I am unmarried. I cannot." "No, there is no harm. Your son will be born from the ear." Generally, the son is born from the vagina, but Kuntī's son was born from the ear. Therefore Karṇa. The first son was Karṇa. Unmarried. Therefore Karṇa was, I mean to say, given away, because she could not show, and when Karṇa was floating on the water, that one carpenter picked up and he raised him.
My Guru Mahārāja used to say that "I am a sannyāsī. I am not married, neither I am meant for marrying. But if I can produce Kṛṣṇa conscious children, I can marry hundred times." That is the responsibility.
Because according to Vedic system, as soon as a girl is fourteen years old or sixteen years old, she is at once married. According to Vedic system, no girl should be allowed remaining unmarried. So there is no question of brahmacāriṇī. Every girl is supposed to be married. That is the Vedic system.
Especially in India, there is no brahmacāriṇī. But here, in your country, the boys and girls mix very freely, but just to restrict such free mixing, we think that the unmarried girls should remain separately. That is the contemplation. Actually, in the Vedic system there is no brahmacāriṇī system. Or get yourself married. That is our proposal, that we do not allow illicit sex life. That is impediment. That will not enhance your spiritual interests.
Brahmacārī is meant for the boys, not for the girls. Girls, they are to be married. A brahmacārī may remain unmarried for life, but according to Vedic civilization, a girl must be married. As soon as... Before the age of attaining puberty, it is the duty of the father, or if she has no father, it is the duty of the elder brother to get her married somehow or other.
The Europeans are described in Vedic literatures as phiraṅgī, their name is phiraṅgī. So this syphilitic disease is mentioned in the Āyur Veda, the disease brought by the phiraṅgīs. And the doctor says that originally it was spread through dog. The unmarried girls, they keep dog for sex. You do not know? He knows. You will find very beautiful girl is keeping very big dog. They are trained to have sex life. And that is cause of syphilis.
A boy is married not later than twenty-five years. And the girl is not, married not later than sixteen years. That is the system. So a sixteen-year girl and twenty-five-year boy, if the child is born, then when the man if fifty years old, the child becomes twenty-five years old. So he can take charge.
So this zero, void philosophy, when one becomes very much disgusted, they want to make it zero, finish everything. So this nirviśeṣa or zero is undeveloped stage. Just like a girl, unmarried girl, is undeveloped stage. But when she comes in contact with a puruṣa, then she develops with so many children. So that beginning of motherly life is called time. The time is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Puruṣa. Now, prakṛti herself cannot produce anything.
Just like Devahūti when she was grown up, young, she proposed her father that "I want to marry that gentleman, that yogi." And the father also offered. So, so long she was not married she remained under the protection of the father. And when she was married she remained with the yogi husband. And she was troubled in so many ways because she was princess, daughter of king. And this yogi, he was in a cottage, no food, no shelter, nothing of the sort. So she had to suffer. She never said that "I am king's daughter. I was raised in so opulent condition of life. Now I have got a husband who cannot give me a nice apartment, nice food. Divorce him."
"In the city of Kānyakubja, formerly there was a brāhmaṇa." Kānyakubje dvijaḥ kaścit. "There was a brāhmaṇa." Āsīd dāsī-patir ajāmilaḥ. Dāsī-pati means one who keeps woman; it is not married. He kept one woman, dāsī; therefore he was the husband of a dāsī. He was living with a woman who was not married wife. So a brāhmaṇa of the name Ajāmila who was husband of a kept woman, kānyakubje dvijaḥ kaścid dāsī-patir ajāmilaḥ, nāmnā naṣṭa-sadācāraḥ. But he lost all good qualification of a brāhmaṇa. That is the result of illegitimate connection with woman.
Here it is not stated that it is Ajāmila's son. The tat-sutān means the children were of the prostitute. Because she was not married, therefore that woman did not belong to him. Just like a land you possess. The production goes to the possessor of the land, not to others. Therefore, because the prostitute was not married to Ajāmila, her sons were not Ajāmila's sons. They were all sons of the prostitute. Therefore, at least still in India, a prostitute's son has no position in the society.
So from childhood they are friends, small children, but the girls are married early, so they go to their husband's place, thirteen, fourteen years. But because they had, they prayed to Kātyāyanī when they're not married, they prayed to Kātyāyanī that "Kṛṣṇa is so beautiful. Please give me Kṛṣṇa as my husband." Kṛṣṇa is all-attractive, so Kṛṣṇa fulfilled their desire, and that is vastrāṇām.
They unite, and there is sex, and as soon as there is sex then there is bondage. Immediately. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitha. As soon as they unite, then the relation becomes very tight, very strong. Then, as soon as one is married, or unmarried—generally speaking married—then he wants apartment. Ato gṛha. Gṛha means apartment. So long he remains brahmacārī there is no need of apartment.
Prostitution, these things are the low-class. The high-class, no, not allowed. The high-class society, a woman cannot mix with any man. Especially unmarried. The fathers, parents, will not allow.
Just like he was living with the śūdrāṇī—he was not married—as friend. So even śūdra's marriage there is. For the śūdra there is one āśrama—that is gṛhastha āśrama. And for the brāhmaṇas, four āśramas: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. This is for the brāhmaṇas. For the kṣatriya: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, and vānaprastha. For the vaiśyas: brahmacārī and gṛhastha. And for the śūdras: no brahmacārī, only family life, and that also sometimes without marriage.
He has got family, wife, children, and he requires money because the economic development, economic impetus, begins from this family affection. It is fact. Nobody would earn money. Therefore, if one is not married, he does not like to earn money. This is natural. And if he has got family, wife and children, then he will try to earn money.
To eat meat, to have sex life, āmiṣa-madya-sevā, and to drink intoxication, these things are naturally there, so why śāstra should encourage them? "Yes, you can eat meat by offering pūjā, worship to Goddess Kālī." "Yes, you may have sex life by marrying." In this way, they're śāstras. They are mentioned. But this is not encouraging. This is restraining, that if he is not married, he will enjoy sex life like cats and dogs. Therefore śāstra says, "All right, don't become cats and dog. Become a human being and get married and have your sex life under restrain."
But Kṛṣṇa is so beautiful and so nice that if you increase your love for Kṛṣṇa, then you have no more any attachment for anything, any beautiful thing of this world. Paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate. Just like Kṛṣṇa and these gopīs. They came to Kṛṣṇa, giving up their all engagements. Some of them were engaged in, I mean to say, loving children, some of them were engaged in serving their husband, or unmarried girls, they were engaged to serving her father, brothers. But as soon as Kṛṣṇa blew His flute, they came, all.
One who has married, he's also lamenting, and who is not married, he's also lamenting. So this is the thing. The śāstra also says... Not only... Any experienced man will say like that, that "Both ways, it is simply lamentation."
Nectar of Devotion Lectures
That is explained in Marshall's theory of economics. We were student of economics. So in that book Mr. Marshall explained that the family affection is the origin of economic impetus. That's a fact. These hippies, they have no family affection. They are not married, and therefore there is no economic impetus. They can live in any way, any wretched condition of life. And one who is married, responsible man, he has got some responsibility to see that..., provided he has got affection for the family. Otherwise, practically, so-called family life, there is no affection.
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures
So that desire was there, but it was not possible to get Kṛṣṇa to become everyone's..., because He was only a boy. But they maintained that idea although they were married and some of them were mothers. Some of them were unmarried. So Kṛṣṇa, to fulfill their desire, He blew on His flute on a nice moonlight night, and all the gopīs, all those girls, they came. And Kṛṣṇa advised them, "Oh, you are now married. You have come at dead of night to Me. It is not good." In this way He advised so many things. They were very moral instruction. But the gopīs denied to go back, and they arranged that dancing. That is called rāsa dance.
Once a girl goes out of the home, it is very difficult for her to be married in the society. Still that system is going on in India. Unmarried girls, young girls, they cannot go out unless she is married. If she goes out and if she passes some night with other boys, then no more place in the society.
So these four Kumāras-kumāras means unmarried brahmacārīs—they were sons of Brahmā. Because in the beginning Brahmā begot so many sons, and each of them were asked to increase the population. Sanaka, Sananda, Sanātana, they were also requested by their father to increase population, but they refused. They said, "No, we are not going to be entangled in these material affairs. We shall remain kumāras, brahmacārī, and preach the glories of God," by which Brahmā was angry. And while he was angry, from his anger Rudra, Śiva, was produced, and Lord Śiva is therefore supposed to be son of Brahmā.
Festival Lectures
Of course, Guru Mahārāja did not say anything, that "You give up your family life." No, never said. He simply gave the idea. So I thought that "It would have been better if I was not married."
Wedding Ceremonies
Because I am a sannyāsī, I have nothing to do with social activity. Still, because in this country, mostly I see the boys and girls are not married, I have introduced this marriage system in our society, and the result is very good. You'll be very pleased to know that in London I have sent six boys and girls who were married by me in my presence. Formerly, they were not married. You know as the other boys and girls lived, they were also living in that way. But the result has been very excellent. They are preaching there Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
General Lectures
No father neglects to look after the comforts of an unmarried girl, of his unmarried girls and boys. According to Hindu system, a father, mother responsibility ceases after he gets the children married, either daughter or son. So much obligation. Then they are free.
One paramparā system is coming from Brahma. Another paramparā system is coming from Lakṣmī, the goddess of fortune. Another paramparā system is coming from Lord Śiva. Another paramparā system is coming from the Kumāras—they were unmarried, brahmacārīs, sons of Brahmā. So those paramparā system, line of disciplic succession, are still existing in India. Practically, India's spiritual life is still being controlled by these lines of disciplic succession.
Just now we described the place where we intend to go. That is Goloka Vṛndāvana. There the Supreme Personality of Godhead is residing with His consort Rādhārāṇī. Rādhā-Mādhava. Kṛṣṇa is the husband—not exactly husband, but friend. The same mellow. As you try to enjoy here, boy and girlfriend, not married, but an extra ecstasy without being married, conjugal love, the ideal conjugal love is there, Kṛṣṇa and Rādhā. Here the same thing is present, but in a perverted sense. The origin is there. Jaya rādhā-mādhava kuñja-vihārī. Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, They are always engaged in loving affairs in the kuñja, in the bushes of Vṛndāvana.
If the women are not married, then varṇa-saṅkara population will increase. It is said. And as soon as there is varṇa-saṅkara population, the whole world will be in chaotic condition.
| Page Title: | Unmarried (Lectures) |
| Compiler: | Rishab, ChandrasekharaAcarya |
| Created: | 24 of May, 2011 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=50, Con=0, Let=0 |
| No. of Quotes: | 50 |