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Social etiquette

Srimad-Bhagavatam

SB Canto 5

Śrī Priyavrata was the grandson of Lord Brahmā. Therefore according to social etiquette, his position was inferior. It is the duty of the inferior to carry out the order of the superior with great respect.
SB 5.1.20, Translation and Purport:

Śrī Śukadeva Gosvāmī continued: After thus being fully instructed by Lord Brahmā, who is the spiritual master of the three worlds, Priyavrata, his own position being inferior, offered obeisances, accepted the order and carried it out with great respect.

Śrī Priyavrata was the grandson of Lord Brahmā. Therefore according to social etiquette, his position was inferior. It is the duty of the inferior to carry out the order of the superior with great respect. Priyavrata therefore immediately said, "Yes, sir. I shall carry out your order." Priyavrata is described as a mahā-bhāgavata, a great devotee. The duty of a great devotee is to carry out the order of the spiritual master, or the spiritual master of the spiritual master in the paramparā system. As described in Bhagavad-gītā (4.2), evaṁ paramparā prāptam: one has to receive the instructions of the Supreme Lord through the disciplic chain of spiritual masters. A devotee of the Lord always considers himself a servant of the servant of the servant of the Lord (CC Madhya 13.80).

SB Canto 7

Constantly breathing very heavily, a devotee becomes careless of social etiquette and loudly chants like a madman, "Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa! O my Lord, O master of the universe!"
SB 7.7.35, Translation:

When a devotee becomes like a person haunted by a ghost, he laughs and very loudly chants about the qualities of the Lord. Sometimes he sits to perform meditation, and he offers respects to every living entity, considering him a devotee of the Lord. Constantly breathing very heavily, he becomes careless of social etiquette and loudly chants like a madman, "Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa! O my Lord, O master of the universe!"

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta

CC Adi-lila

Lord Caitanya remarked that Murāri Gupta had violated social etiquette, for he should have first shown respect to Nityānanda Prabhu and then to Him.
CC Adi 10.49, Purport:

When Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and Nityānanda Prabhu were sitting together in the house of Śrīvāsa Ṭhākura, Murāri Gupta first offered his respects to Lord Caitanya and then to Śrī Nityānanda Prabhu. Nityānanda Prabhu, however, was older than Caitanya Mahāprabhu, and therefore Lord Caitanya remarked that Murāri Gupta had violated social etiquette, for he should have first shown respect to Nityānanda Prabhu and then to Him. In this way, by the grace of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, Murāri Gupta was informed about the position of Śrī Nityānanda Prabhu, and the next day he offered obeisances first to Lord Nityānanda and then to Lord Caitanya.

CC Madhya-lila

CC Madhya 7.26, Translation:

“According to Dāmodara, I am still a neophyte as far as social etiquette is concerned; therefore he does not like My independent nature."

Although accusing his devotees, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was indirectly indicating that He was very satisfied with their behavior in pure love of Godhead. Therefore in verse 27 He mentions that His devotees and associates place more importance on love of Kṛṣṇa than on social etiquette.
CC Madhya 7.29, Purport:

All the accusations made by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu against His beloved devotees actually showed His great appreciation of their intense love for Him. Yet He mentioned these faults one after another as if He were offended by their intense affection. The personal associates of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu sometimes behaved contrary to regulative principles out of intense love for the Lord, and because of their love Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu Himself sometimes violated the regulative principles of a sannyāsī. In the eyes of the public, such violations are not good, but Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was so controlled by His devotees' love that He was obliged to break some of the rules. Although accusing them, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was indirectly indicating that He was very satisfied with their behavior in pure love of Godhead. Therefore in verse 27 He mentions that His devotees and associates place more importance on love of Kṛṣṇa than on social etiquette. There are many instances of devotional service rendered by previous ācāryas who did not care about social behavior when intensely absorbed in love for Kṛṣṇa. Unfortunately, as long as we are within this material world, we must observe social customs to avoid criticism by the general populace. This is Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's desire.

One be dependent on so-called social etiquette.
CC Madhya 8.83, Purport:

An invented devotional attitude simply creates disturbances in the transcendental realm. If a person overly addicted to family life takes to Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam or Kṛṣṇa consciousness to earn a livelihood, his activity is certainly offensive. One should not become a caste guru and sell mantras for the benefit of mundane customers, nor should one make disciples for a livelihood. All these activities are offensive. One should not make a livelihood by forming a professional band to carry out congregational chanting, nor should one perform devotional service when one is attached to mundane society, friendship and love. Nor should one be dependent on so-called social etiquette. All of this is mental speculation. None of these things can be compared to unalloyed devotional service.

CC Madhya 21.143, Translation:

“The vibration of His flute slackens the knots of their underwear even in front of their husbands. Thus the gopīs are forced to abandon their household duties and come before Lord Kṛṣṇa. In this way all social etiquette, shame and fear are vanquished. The vibration of His flute causes all women to dance."

Other Books by Srila Prabhupada

Nectar of Devotion

Even though Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He never forgets to show social etiquette in His dealings.
Nectar of Devotion 22:

He example of Kṛṣṇa's gentle behavior was manifested when He was coming to the arena of the Rājasūya sacrifice arranged by Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, Kṛṣṇa's older cousin. Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira knew that Kṛṣṇa was the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and he was attempting to get down from his chariot to receive Kṛṣṇa. But before Yudhiṣṭhira could get down, Lord Kṛṣṇa got down from His own chariot and immediately fell at the feet of the King. Even though Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He never forgets to show social etiquette in His dealings.

Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead

After an exchange of greetings according to the social etiquette befitting the position of the Pāṇḍavas and Lord Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa was offered an exalted seat.
Krsna Book 58:

Lord Kṛṣṇa, although the Supreme Personality of Godhead, was playing the part of an ordinary human being, and thus He immediately touched the feet of Yudhiṣṭhira and Bhīma because they were His two older cousins. Arjuna embraced Kṛṣṇa as a friend of the same age, whereas the two younger brothers, namely Nakula and Sahadeva, touched the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa to show Him respect. After an exchange of greetings according to the social etiquette befitting the position of the Pāṇḍavas and Lord Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa was offered an exalted seat. When He was comfortably seated, the newly married Draupadī, young and very beautiful in her natural feminine gracefulness, came before Lord Kṛṣṇa to offer her respectful greetings. The Yādavas who accompanied Kṛṣṇa to Hastināpura were also very respectfully received; specifically, Sātyaki, or Yuyudhāna, was also offered a nice seat. In this way, when everyone else was properly seated, the five brothers took their seats near Lord Kṛṣṇa.

Kṛṣṇa said to Rukminī, “Besides this, I am not very much polished, even in social etiquette."
Krsna Book 60:

“Besides this, I am not very much polished, even in social etiquette. A person should be satisfied with one wife, but you see that I have married many times, and I have more than sixteen thousand wives. I cannot please all of them as a polished husband. My behavior with them is not very nice, and I know that you are very conscious of it. I sometimes create a situation with My wives which is not very happy. Because I was trained in a village in My childhood, I am not well acquainted with the etiquette of urban life. I do not know the way to please a wife with nice words and behavior. And from practical experience it is found that any woman who follows My way or becomes attracted by Me is ultimately left to cry for the rest of her life. In Vṛndāvana, many gopīs were attracted to Me, and now I have left them, and they are living but are simply crying for Me in separation. I have heard from Akrūra and Uddhava that since I left Vṛndāvana all My cowherd boyfriends, the gopīs and Rādhārāṇī, and My foster father, Nanda Mahārāja, are simply crying constantly for Me. I have left Vṛndāvana for good and am now engaged with the queens in Dvārakā, but I am not well behaved with any of you. So you can very easily understand that I have no steadiness of character; I am not a very reliable husband. The net result of being attracted to Me is to acquire a life of bereavement only."

Lectures

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

The world wants if you can say the truth, but don't say the unpalatable truth. But that is social etiquette. When you speak about spiritual life there is no such scope. You must speak the truth.
Lecture on SB 7.9.10 -- Mayapur, February 17, 1976:

As soon as one tries to become independent without serving Kṛṣṇa, that means he is in māyā. He's in māyā. Immediately māyā is there. Just like as soon as you become a criminal, a thief, immediately you are under the jurisdiction of the police, immediately, without the... You may hide yourself for time being, but immediately you have become criminal. Similarly, as soon as one is not Kṛṣṇa conscious, he's immediately a criminal, punishable. Therefore Kṛṣṇa said, na māṁ duṣkṛtino mūḍhāḥ prapadyante narādhamāḥ, māyayāpahṛta... (BG 7.15). He does not know what he's doing, this rascal narādhamāḥ, mūḍha. These mūḍhas... Therefore when we say that a man who is not Kṛṣṇa conscious, he is narādhamāḥ, mūḍhāḥ, that is a fact. But the world is such that satyaṁ bruyāt priyaṁ bruyāt ma bruyāt satyam apriyam. They want if you can say the truth, but don't say the unpalatable truth. But that is social etiquette. When you speak about spiritual life there is no such scope. You must speak the truth: "Yes, you are rascal. Because you are not Kṛṣṇa conscious: rascal, mūḍha. You are sinful. You are lowest of the mankind." Kṛṣṇa says. Kṛṣṇa says, na māṁ duṣkṛtino mūḍhāḥ.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Sanātana Gosvāmī said: "By social etiquette I am addressed as 'paṇḍita,' but actually, I am not paṇḍita because I do not know what is my benefit, what is beneficial to me. I do not know the goal of my life."
Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.97-99 -- New York, November 22, 1966:

So he says that grāmya-vyavahāre paṇḍita: "As a matter of social etiquette, I am addressed as 'paṇḍita.' " Paṇḍita means learned. Learned scholar, he is called paṇḍita. Paṇḍita sama-darśinaḥ. You have read in the Bhagavad-gītā: a paṇḍita means he sees everything on equal eye. Why? Because he is brāhmaṇa, he has known what is Brahman and what are these living entities. He has got such knowledge. That is called paṇḍita. So Sanātana Gosvāmī has no such knowledge. At least, he is pretending like that. So he says that grāmya-vyavahāre kahaye paṇḍita: "By social etiquette I am addressed as 'paṇḍita,' but..." Tāi satya māni: "And I also accept that I am paṇḍita." If somebody falsely calls me that "Your Majesty," so it is an insult. It is not honoring him. I am an ordinary man. If somebody calls me, Your Majesty," so a man who has no qualification, if he is eulogized in that way, that is an insult. But we are so much fool that if somebody calls me "Your Majesty," I shall feel, "Oh, I am Majesty. Yes. I am His Majesty." That is our nature. If some false qualifications is awarded to me, I shall be very glad to accept it. I shall think, "Yes." So Sanātana Gosvāmī said that "Actually, I am not paṇḍita because I do not know what is my benefit, what is beneficial to me. I do not know the goal of my life. I simply wasted my time in sense gratification. I do not know. And still, people say, 'You are paṇḍita,' and I accept it. Just see my position."

Festival Lectures

Grāmya-vyavahāre. Grāmya means ordinary deals, ordinary dealings social etiquette. "They call me Paṇḍitajī, but actually I do not know what is the aim of my life, what is my constitutional position."
Srila Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami's Appearance Day -- Vrndavana, October 19, 1972:

I have seen in Calcutta one brāhmaṇa with thread, he was pulling on thela. So somebody addressed him "Paṇḍitajī." So that sort of paṇḍitajī was not Sanātana Gosvāmī, that without any knowledge he was pulling on thela, and he's also a paṇḍitajī. Not like that. He was actually paṇḍita. He was very learned scholar. But he knew his position, that "Although my friends, my admirers, my assistants, my subordinates, they address me Paṇḍitajī, but actually I am not paṇḍita." He said, grāmya-vyavahāre kahe paṇḍita, satya kari māni, āpanāra hitāhita kichui nāhi jāni! Grāmya-vyavahāre. Grāmya means ordinary deals, ordinary dealings social etiquette. "They call me Paṇḍitajī, but actually I do not know what is the aim of my life, what is my constitutional position." Ke āmi, kene āmāya jāre tapa-traya. "I do not know why these threefold miserable conditions of material existence is troubling me. I do not want them."

Philosophy Discussions

In any human society there is law, there is division, there is social etiquette, social obligation, so many things. So we are not independent to decide that we have to abide by the customs and etiquette.
Philosophy Discussion on Martin Heidegger:

Śyāmasundara: He says that men have the tendency to fall into this not making their own decisions. Their decisions are not based upon a personal basis but upon group decisions, and just because someone else does something, I do it.

Prabhupāda: That is authentic decision.

Śyāmasundara: Yes.

Prabhupāda: Authentic decision. You must make your decision; therefore there is no... In any human society there is law, there is division, there is social etiquette, social obligation, so many things. So we are not independent to decide that we have to abide by the customs and etiquette.

Śyāmasundara: So he says because someone else does something in a certain way and they get a good result, we automatically imitate.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Conversations and Morning Walks

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

When I meet you I say, "Yes sir." You say, "Yes sir." That is all right. That is social etiquette. But real unity is on the platform of spirit soul.
Room Conversation with Yogi Bhajan -- June 7, 1975, Honolulu:

Yogi Bhajan: No, I may not agree with your philosophy, and you may not agree with my philosophy, but one thing we both have agreed that you are you, and I am I, and both can have respect and love for each other. And there has to be a place where everybody should be given that opportunity.

Prabhupāda: That is going on. When I meet you I say, "Yes sir." You say, "Yes sir." That is all right. That is social etiquette. But real unity is on the platform of spirit soul. Paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ (BG 5.18). Paṇḍita, he is sama-darśina. So paṇḍitāḥ means

vidyā-vinaya-sampanne
brāhmaṇe gavi hastini
śuni caiva śva-pāke ca
paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ
(BG 5.18)

"A very learned brāhmaṇa and a dog and an elephant, a cow, a caṇḍāla—all of them, to a paṇḍita, really learned person, sama-darśinaḥ." You see? So now how a learned scholar brāhmaṇa and a dog can be seen on equal level? But it can be seen. Paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ (BG 5.18). It is on the spiritual platform, that every one of us is spirit soul. We are, by different karma, we are covered with different material dress. A dog is also a soul, and a learned brāhmaṇa is also a soul. But he is covered with different body, and he is covered with different body. So one who does not see the body, he can see on the same level. But one who sees the body, he cannot see. This is the basic principle of equality. I am seeing you are Sikh, you are seeing I am Hindu, he is seeing he is Christian, he is Mohammedan, and so on, so on. And nobody is seeing that nobody is brāhmaṇa. Nobody is seeing nobody is Hindu, nobody is Christian—he is pure soul. So that vision, unless one attains, how there can be equality? There is no possibility.

Page Title:Social etiquette
Compiler:Labangalatika
Created:21 of Sep, 2009
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=2, CC=5, OB=3, Lec=4, Con=1, Let=0
No. of Quotes:15