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Protection of women (Letters)

Expressions researched:
protect |protected |protecting |protection |protections |protects women |girls |woman |ladies |wife |wives

Correspondence

1967 Correspondence

Girls are more susceptible to the finer attack of maya. Boys are a little stronger in getting out of the intricacies of Maya. Mrinalini, Jadurani & all other girls who are so qualified, good-looking, intelligent, educated & seriously engaged in Krishna Consciousness, should always be give protection from the attack of maya.
Letter to Rayarama -- Delhi 4 October, 1967: Please guide your innocent God-sisters who have come to our shelter. Girls are more susceptible to the finer attack of maya. Boys are a little stronger in getting out of the intricacies of Maya. Mrinalini, Jadurani & all other girls who are so qualified, good-looking, intelligent, educated & seriously engaged in Krishna Consciousness, should always be give protection from the attack of maya. In my philosophy there is no abstinence from sex life but K.C. should teach us that sex life is the cause of us becoming conditioned to the material nature. Therefore advanced Krishna Consciousness student should know it well that sex life also should be dovetailed with Krishna consciousness. Better to avoid it; if not possible, to have in a regulated married life. But in all circumstances, our primary necessity is to advance in K.C.

1969 Correspondence

The husband's duty is to give the wife all protection, even from the material maya, and the wife's duty is to see to the personal comforts of the husband.
Letter to Gaurasundara -- Los Angeles 16 January, 1969: It is very nice that Govinda Dasi is cooking for you and following my instructions. The husband's duty is to give the wife all protection, even from the material maya, and the wife's duty is to see to the personal comforts of the husband. In this way the husband and wife in cooperative spirit should execute Krishna Consciousness. That is my mission. In your country, practically everyone has no home life. So this Krishna Consciousness movement is giving them home life and the chance to live peacefully with wife and family.

1971 Correspondence

Yes, a woman requires protection. But normally we regard that any unmarried woman with children should take security of the temple—that is more secure than the protection of Krishna—and be satisfied with her children.
Letter to Sridama -- Delhi 17 November, 1971: Regarding Prayag Devi Dasi, yes, a woman requires protection. But normally we regard that any unmarried woman with children should take security of the temple—that is more secure than the protection of Krishna—and be satisfied with her children. Marriage is simply a license for having sex, so we are not very fond of sanctioning unnecessary sense gratification. However in this case, if you think the match is favorable for their advancing nicely in Krishna Consciousness, then I shall agree with your judgement. One thing is, there should be a formal contract signed by both parties at each marriage, voting that there will be no separation and that man and wife will work cooperatively in Krishna Consciousness.

1972 Correspondence

If your other godbrothers are recommending, then why not marry that girl. But one thing is that you shall have to be from now on fully responsible for protecting her and giving her Krishna Consciousness, and there shall never be any separation, that is our condition.
Letter to Amogha -- Madras 15 February, 1972: I am in due receipt of your letters dated January 14 and January 24, 1972, and your telegram requesting marriage. I have no objection, and you have my blessings. Actually, most of my best managers are grhasthas, because they have a natural propensity to manage, so if you have got that also, and if you think together you and your wife can open a very nice center there in Djakarta and serve Krishna together nicely, and if your other godbrothers are recommending, then why not marry that girl. But one thing is that you shall have to be from now on fully responsible for protecting her and giving her Krishna Consciousness, and there shall never be any separation, that is our condition. So if you are willing to follow this condition, I have no objection.
Take my advice that women, girls, until married, must be under the guidance and protection of the father. That is Vedic civilization.
Letter to Misses Sarna daughters -- Los Angeles 19 June, 1972: I understand you all of a sudden have gone to Bombay, and without the permission of your parents. So your father called me on phone this morning, I could not attend but I was informed by Syamasundara. it is something about you. Anyway, take my advice that women, girls, until married, must be under the guidance and protection of the father. That is Vedic civilization. Under the circumstances, I request you both to go back to your father immediately. If there is any disagreement, you can settle up personally, but you cannot disobey your father.
Marriage between husband and wife means that the husband must forever be responsible for the wife's well-being and protection in all cases.
Letter to Sudevi -- Los Angeles 15 September, 1972: Marriage between husband and wife means that the husband must forever be responsible for the wife's well-being and protection in all cases. That does not mean that now there is agreement between us, therefore I am responsible, but as soon as there is some disagreement then I immediately flee the scene and become so-called renounced. Whether your husband likes to take responsibility as your spiritual guide or not, that does not matter. He must do it. It is his duty because he has taken you as his wife. Therefore he must take full responsibility for you the rest of his life. And you also must agree to serve him under all circumstances and assist him in every way so that he may make advancement in Krsna Consciousness. By his making advancement in Krsna Consciousness, automatically the wife will make advancement in the husband's footsteps. But if you do not assist him and be very obedient to his welfare, then he may become disgusted and go away. So there must be mutual responsibility by both parties, and now that you are married couple there is no question of your separation, but you must both strive very hard to serve Krsna together in harmony. What are these nonsense emotions that cause you to go this way and that way, the real thing is your duty. Now you are married couple, you know what your duty is, so best thing is to perform your duty and always think of Krsna. Never mind some temporary inconveniences, we must remain steady in our duty to Krsna.
The wife becomes a devotee of her husband, the husband becomes a devotee of Krishna; the wife serves her husband faithfully, the husband protects his wife by giving her spiritual guidance.
Letter to Saucarya -- Vrindaban 23 October, 1972: You are married wife, so in that position you should serve your husband nicely always, being attentive to his needs, and in this way, because he is always absorbed in serving Krishna, by serving your husband you will also get Krishna, through him. He is your spiritual master, but he must be responsible for giving you all spiritual help, teaching you as he advances his own knowledge and realization. That is the vedic system: The wife becomes a devotee of her husband, the husband becomes a devotee of Krishna; the wife serves her husband faithfully, the husband protects his wife by giving her spiritual guidance. So you should simply do whatever your husband instructs you to do, however he may require your assistance. Of course, the nature of woman is to be attached to her husband and family, so our system is to minimize this attachment by making the ultimate goal of our activity the pleasure of Krishna. Just try to please Krishna always, and no material circumstances will be able to cause you any discomfort.
It is the duty of husband to protect wife in every way from the onslaught of material nature, and he must act always as her spiritual guide by being perfect example of devotee.
Letter to Mr. Loy -- Vrindaban 7 November, 1972: It is the duty of husband to protect wife in every way from the onslaught of material nature, and he must act always as her spiritual guide by being perfect example of devotee. Women are not so quick to learn, and they are weak by nature, so they should be protected in this way. In our Vedic science of living, it is enjoined that the society should be organized in such a way to protect women, children, old people and cows, because factually all of them are innocent. So children have parents, elderly persons must have grown up children to protect them, and woman must have husband. And it is recommended they should be married at very early age, then the wife will remain always chaste and devoted to her husband. At such young age, from the first night onwards, she can never for a moment forget him, being still child and unspoiled, therefore she becomes the perfect chaste wife, and in those times the wife was so much devoted to her husband that she would voluntarily die in the fire of his cremation, unable to live without him. Myself, I was very young when I got married, and my wife was 11 years only. But there is no question of separation in our marriage belief, neither your daughter will ever be separated from that boy, that is their vow.
You are manager with best experience, and besides you have got wife and child to protect, so it will be very much pleasing to me if you shall take up the big work of Gurukula school and develop it very nicely.
Letter to Mohanananda -- Ahmedabad 11 December, 1972: If you still like to contact Hanuman, he is having some difficulty with the governments in these places, but I have just got on letter from him the following address: c/o Agencia Wallis C. A. Edificio Karam, Avenida Urdmeta, P. O. Box 1826, Caracas, Venezuela. But I think it is better if he takes some brahmacaris and sannyasis with him for travelling in such difficult and dangerous places. You are manager with best experience, and besides you have got wife and child to protect, so it will be very much pleasing to me if you shall take up the big work of Gurukula school and develop it very nicely. Thank you for helping me in this way.

1973 Correspondence

If the women can remain unmarried, and if there is suitable arrangement for the temple to protect them, just like in the Christian Church there is nunnery for systematic program of engaging the ladies and protecting them, that is also nice.
Letter to Madhukara -- Bombay 4 January, 1973: For these questions arising between married husband and wife, you are requesting me to leave your wife and take the vanaprastha order of life, for these questions you must consult with and take permission from presidents and GBC. Yes, I know your wife Lilasakti, and I know that she is very serious and advanced disciple. But now you are married to her, there is some obligation according to our Krsna consciousness or Vedic system. These things cannot be taken so lightly, otherwise the whole thing will become a farce. Simply get married without considering what is the serious nature of married life, then if there is little disturbance, or if I do not like my wife or my husband, let me go away, everyone else is doing like that. So in this way the whole thing is becoming a farce. You say that your "association together was hindering your advancement." But Krsna consciousness marriage system should not be taken in that way, that if there is any botheration that means something is hindering my spiritual progress, no. Once it is adopted, the grhastha life, even it may be troublesome at times, it must be fulfilled as my occupational duty. Of course, it is better to remain unmarried, celibate. But so many women are coming, we cannot reject them. If someone comes to Krsna it is our duty to give them protection. Krsna has informed us in Bhagavad-gita that even women and sudras and others inferior class of men can take refuge in Him. So the problem is there, the women must have a husband to give protection. Of course, if the women can remain unmarried, and if there is suitable arrangement for the temple to protect them, just like in the Christian Church there is nunnery for systematic program of engaging the ladies and protecting them, that is also nice. But if there is sex desire, how to control it? Women are normally very lusty, more lusty than men, and they are weaker sex, it is difficult for them to make spiritual advancement without the help of husband. For so many reasons, our women must have husband. That's all right, but if once they have got a husband he goes away so quickly, that will not be very much happy for them.

Now I do not know the situation in your particular case, I am simply giving you the general policy or background understanding. We should never think of our so-called advancement as being conditioned by or dependent upon some set of material circumstances such as marriage, vanaprastha, or this or that. Mature understanding of Krsna consciousness means that whatever condition of life I am in at present, that is Krsna's special mercy upon me, therefore let me take advantage in the best way possible to spread this Krsna consciousness movement and conduct my spiritual master's mission. If I consider my own personal progress or happiness or any other thing personal, that is material consideration. If there was unhappy adjustment for becoming married, why you got married at all? Whatever is done, is done, that is a fact, but I am only pointing out that once before you did something without proper study of your real responsibility, now you are contemplating again some drastic action in a similar manner. Therefore consider it carefully in this light. There is one verse from Bhagavad-gita: yasman nodvijate loko lokan nodvijate ca yah/harsamarsa-bhayodvegair mukto yah sa ca me priyah, "He for whom no one is put into difficulty and who is not disturbed by anxiety, who is steady in happiness and distress, is very dear to Me." (12.15) One mistake of judgment often made by the neophyte devotees is that any time there is some disturbance or some difficulty they are considering that the conditions or the external circumstances under which the difficulty took place are the cause of the difficulty itself. That is not the fact. In this material world there is always some difficulty, no matter in this situation or that situation. Therefore simply by changing my status of occupation or my status of life, that will not help anything. Because the real fact is that if there is any difficulty with others, that is my lack of Krsna consciousness, not theirs. Is this clear? Krsna says that His dearest devotee is one who does not put others into difficulty, in fact, who puts no one other into difficulty. So try to judge the matter on these points, whether or not you are putting either your wife or yourself into some difficulty. The right understanding of Bhagavad-gita is Arjuna's understanding. In other words, Arjuna came to the conclusion that he must perform his occupational duty, not as a material obligation, for reasons of wife, family, friends, reputation, professional integrity, like that—no. Rather he must conduct the functions of his station of life only as a devotional service performed for Krsna. That means that devotional service is what is important, not my occupational duty. But it does not mean that because occupation duty is not the real consideration, that I should give it up and do something else, thinking that devotional service may be carried on under whatever circumstances which I may whimsically decide. Krsna recommended Arjuna to remain as he was, not to disrupt the order of society and go against his own nature just for convenience sake. Our occupational duty is not arbitrary, that means once we have taken up some field of action, if we are advanced in our understanding, then we shall not change it for another. Rather our devotion is the important factor, so what does it matter what I am doing so long my work and energy are completely devoted to Krsna? Just like Krsna, He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He has no work, neither He has anything to do, still He comes here to teach us this lesson. He accepts not only His occupational duty as cowherd boy, royal prince, but also He accepts married life, He enters politics, He is philosopher, He is even chariot driver during a great battle, He does not give example of Himself avoiding His occupational duty. So if Krsna Himself is exhibiting by His own conduct what is the perfection of existence, then we should heed such example if we are intelligent. Even supposing there is wife at home, with children, that does not matter, that is no hindrance to our spiritual life. And once we have accepted these things, occupational duties, we should not lightly give them up. That is the point. Of course, our occupational duty is as preachers of Krsna consciousness. So we must stick to that business under all circumstances, that is the main thing. Therefore married, unmarried, divorced, whatever condition of life, my preaching mission does not depend on these things. The varnasrama-dharma system is scientifically arranged by Krsna to provide facility for delivering the fallen souls back to home, back to Godhead. And if we make a mockery of this system by whimsically disrupting the order, that we must consider. That will not be a very good example if so many young boys and girls so casually become married and then go away from each other, and the wife is little unhappy, the husband is neglecting her in so many ways, like that. If we set this example, then how the thing will go on properly? Householder life means wife, children, home, these things are understood by everyone, why our devotees have taken it as something different? They simply have some sex desire, get themselves married, and when the mater does not fulfill their expectations, immediately there is separation—these things are just like material activities, prostitution. The wife is left without husband, and sometimes there is child to be raised, in so many ways the proposition that you, and some others also, are making becomes distasteful. We cannot expect that our temples will become places of shelter for so many widows and rejected wives, that will be a great burden and we shall become the laughingstock in the society. There will be unwanted progeny also. And there will be illicit sex life, that we are seeing already. And being the weaker sex, women require to have a husband who is strong in Krsna consciousness so that they may take advantage and make progress by sticking tightly to his feet. If their husband goes away from them, what will they do? So many instances are already there in our Society, so many frustrated girls and boys.

So I have introduced this marriage system in your Western countries because there is custom of freely intermingling male and female. Therefore marriage required just to engage the boys and girls in devotional service, never mind distinction of living status. But our marriage system is little different than in your country, we do not sanction the policy of quick divorce. We are supposed to take husband or wife as eternal companion or assistant in Krsna consciousness service, and there is promise never to separate. Of course if there is any instance of very advanced disciples, married couple, and they have agreed that the husband shall now take sannyasa or renounced order of life, being mutually very happy by that arrangement, then there is ground for such separation. But even in those cases there is no question of separation, the husband, even he is sannyasa, he must be certain his wife will be taken care of nicely and protected in his absence. Now so many cases are there of unhappiness by the wife who has been abandoned by her husband against her wishes. So how can I sanction such thing? I want to avoid setting any bad example for future generations, therefore I am so much cautiously considering your request. But if it becomes so easy for me to get married and then leave my wife, under excuse of married life being an impediment to my own spiritual progress, that will not be very good at all. That is misunderstanding of what is advancement in spiritual life. Occupational duty must be there, either this one or that one, but once I am engaged in something occupational duty, then I should not change that or give it up, that is the worst mistake. Devotional service is not bound up by such designations. Therefore once I have chosen, it is better to stick in that way and develop my devotional attitude into full-blown love of Godhead. That is Arjuna's understanding.
I have suggested previously as they do in Christian religion they have so many convent where the women stay and they receive protection. The point is that the women must be protected and it is the duties of the leaders of our society to see that this is carried out.
Letter to Satsvarupa -- Melbourne 10 February, 1973: First let us understand that polygamy cannot be permitted in our society. Legally it is impossible and neither are there many of our devotees who are prepared to assume the responsibility for many wives. Therefore as I have suggested previously as they do in Christian religion they have so many convent where the women stay and they receive protection. The point is that the women must be protected and it is the duties of the leaders of our society to see that this is carried out.

Your program for those who are desiring to take sannyasa is approved by me and I request that you make something concrete and distribute it to all the other GBC members and amongst yourselves you may decide who will take sannyasa.

Your question in regard to marriage, we must impress upon the parties involved that Krishna Conscious marriage is not some cheap thing that may be embraced whimsically and at any time thrown off. The boy and girl must be willing to accept each other for life and be prepared to get a job if need be and live in an outside apartment and raise children. These points should be emphasized.
The policy should be that all the women are given the utmost protection. Women are looking for husbands because they feel unprotected so it is up to the senior members to give all protection to the women.
Letter to Rupanuga -- Sydney 14 February, 1973: After conferring with my various GBC representatives I have concluded that polygamy must be strictly prohibited in our society. Although it is a Vedic institution still there are so many legal implications. Neither are many of our men fixed up enough to tend for more than one wife. Polygamy will simply increase the sex life and our philosophy is to gradually decrease the sex life till eventually there is no sex life. The policy should be that all the women are given the utmost protection. Women are looking for husbands because they feel unprotected so it is up to the senior members to give all protection to the women.

1976 Correspondence

A woman cannot live independent. According the the Vedic culture a woman is always to be protected by a man.
Letter to Jayatirtha -- Calcutta 13 January, 1976: Regarding Yamuna and Dinatarine, they want to live independently, that is the defect. A woman cannot live independent. According the the Vedic culture a woman is always to be protected by a man. Why they should purchase a house? We already have Los Angeles. If they want they can have a separate asrama supported independently of ISKCON. Every woman in America has money, so why do they want support? No, the BBT cannot give them loan. You may check that they are chanting and following the rules but do not get involved with their management. So far your suggestion that they sew clothes for the sannyasis Deities it is not possible. Sannyasis may have no connection with women.
Manage a small asram, but don't try bigger scale, then you require the help of men.
Letter to Yamuna, Dinatarine -- Mayapur 21 February, 1976: The thing is cow protection is not possible for women. You can keep two or three cows, but on larger scale it is not possible. You should not try to take care of more. It is not women's business. Women's business is getting milk and making milk preparations. On the whole larger scale is not to be attempted by women. Manage a small asram, but don't try bigger scale, then you require the help of men. Don't try manual exertion, then again there is mixture and that is not desired. Simply keep yourself aloof from men—chanting, many more times as possible, read books, worship the deity. I am very much pleased with this girl Svati—she has adopted this white dress. She must not be attractive at all. A widow is forbidden to use ornaments, nice sari, decoration, combing the hair nicely. These are forbidden for the woman who is not with husband.
Page Title:Protection of women (Letters)
Compiler:Visnu Murti
Created:25 of Nov, 2008
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=0, Let=14
No. of Quotes:14