Marry again

Expressions researched:
"marry again" |"marries again" |"married again" |"marrying again" |"married"

SB Canto 7

SB 7.11.28, Purport: Anyone who is a devotee is sinless. One who is not a devotee, however, is the most fallen and condemned. It is recommended, therefore, that a chaste wife not associate with a fallen husband. A fallen husband is one who is addicted to the four principles of sinful activity—namely illicit sex, meat-eating, gambling and intoxication. Specifically, if one is not a soul surrendered to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, he is understood to be contaminated. Thus a chaste woman is advised not to agree to serve such a husband. It is not that a chaste woman should be like a slave while her husband is narādhama, the lowest of men. Although the duties of a woman are different from those of a man, a chaste woman is not meant to serve a fallen husband. If her husband is fallen, it is recommended that she give up his association. Giving up the association of her husband does not mean, however, that a woman should marry again and thus indulge in prostitution. If a chaste woman unfortunately marries a husband who is fallen, she should live separately from him. Similarly, a husband can separate himself from a woman who is not chaste according to the description of the śāstra. The conclusion is that a husband should be a pure Vaiṣṇava and that a woman should be a chaste wife with all the symptoms described in this regard. Then both of them will be happy and make spiritual progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972: So I think I have spoken about my own life. You know that I was a married man. So after being married, I did not like my wife. (laughter) Somehow or other, I did not like. I must say she is very faithful, very everything... Everyone praised. But I did not like, somehow or other. So I was preparing for next marriage. Next marriage. Because in India, at that time it was allowed, a man can marry more than one wife. Now the law is there. So my father, he was a saintly person. So he called me one day and said, "My dear boy, you are trying to marry again. I request you don't do that. You do not like your wife. That is a great fortune for you." (laughter) So I gave up that idea of marrying. Yes. So now I am realizing my father's blessing, yes, that if I would have been too much attached to my wife, then I could not have come to this position. That's a fact. So by ethical point of view, from spiritual point of view, to become too much attached to wife is an impediment for spiritual advancement.

Lecture on SB 1.8.46 -- Los Angeles, May 8, 1973: So still, although so much affectionate, when the war was declared, Bhīṣmadeva took the side of Duryodhana. He did not take the side of Pāṇḍavas, although they were very affectionate, beloved. He replied that "This side, Duryodhana, they are maintaining me. I am maintained by them. So I cannot go against them. That is not possible." Naturally, Bhīṣmadeva would have come to the side of Pāṇḍavas because very affectionate. But he said that "That is not possible, because I am maintained by them." This is the duty. If somebody maintains you, you must be very much grateful to him. These are the examples, Vedic culture. He is not maintained by anyone, but because he had no claim on the kingdom, he was thinking himself that "I am dependent on this family." Actually, the kingdom belonged to Bhīṣmadeva, the kingdom. But he promised... His father wanted to marry Satyavatī. At that time his father was old enough. Bhīṣmadeva was grown-up boy, twenty, twenty-two years. But nature, his father wanted to marry again. Bhīṣmadeva is the son of mother Ganges. Bhīṣmadeva's father married the predominating deity mother Ganges, of the Ganges water. So she was very beautiful. So she agreed to marry Bhīṣmadeva's father on one condition. What is that condition? That all the children that will be begotten, they will be thrown in the Ganges water. This was the condition. If the king agreed, then she would marry. So when a man becomes mad after woman... So he agreed, "Yes, I shall throw all the children. Never mind. (laughter) Come on." Māyā-mohita. Māyā-sukhāyā bharam udvahato vimūḍhān [SB 7.9.43]. This whole world, rascal world, they are captivated by this woman. Woman is captivated by man, man is captivated by woman. This is the tie here in this material world.

Lecture on SB 6.1.12 -- Los Angeles, June 25, 1975: If the father is a great debtor, then he is enemy. Because people will criticize, "Oh, your father has taken so much money, so much credit. Why he is not paying? Why don't you...?" So he is enemy. Ṛna-kartā pitā śatrur. And according to Manu-saṁhitā law, if he does not inherit even a farthing from his father, and if his father dies debtor, then the son has to pay it. Because son inherits the property of the father, so he is responsible for the father's debt. Never mind he has got anything from the father or not. Therefore it is said, ṛna-kartā pitā śatruḥ: "A father who dies a debtor, then he is enemy." And mātā śatrur dhicārinī: "Mother, if in the presence of his son marries again, she is enemy. She is enemy." Ṛna-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur dhicārinī. Dhicārinī means in the presence of children—one or two, it doesn't matter—she becomes enemy. Ṛna-kartā pitā śatrur mātā...rūpavatī bhāryā śatruḥ: "If you have got very beautiful wife, she is also enemy." (laughter) Because many man will try to kidnap, and you will have to remain always anxiety.

Lecture on SB 6.1.22 -- Honolulu, May 22, 1976: This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's movement. So our request is, don't be hypocrite. There are four āśramas: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. Whichever āśrama is suitable for you, you accept, but sincere. Don't be hypocrite. If you think that you want sex, all right. You marry and remain like a gentleman. Don't be hypocrite. This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's movement. He did not like hypocrisy. Nobody likes. But for a person who is seriously engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, for him sex life and material opulence is not very good. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu opinion. Parāṁ paraṁ jigamiṣor bhava... Niṣkiñcanasya bhajanonmukhasya parāṁ param... Therefore voluntarily Caitanya Mahāprabhu accepted sannyāsa. He was very nicely situated in his family life, and He was family man, He married twice. One wife died and He married again. So Caitanya Mahāprabhu taught us not to become, but when He took sannyāsa He was very, very strict. No woman could come very near to Him. From distance. This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's teaching.

Lecture on SB 6.1.23 -- Honolulu, May 23, 1976: So our request is, don't be hypocrite. There are four āśramas, brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. Whichever āśrama is suitable for you, you accept, but sincere. Don't be hypocrite. If you think that you want sex, all right, you marry and remain like a gentleman. Don't be hypocrite. This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's movement. He did not like hypocrisy. Nobody likes. But for a person who is seriously engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, for him sex life and material opulence is not very good. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's opinion. Pāraṁ paraṁ jigamiṣor bhava..., niṣkiñcanasya bhajanonmukhasya, pāraṁ param... Therefore voluntarily Caitanya Mahāprabhu accepted sannyāsa. He was very nicely situated in His family life. When He was family man, He married twice. One wife died; He married again. So Caitanya Mahāprabhu taught us not to become... But when He took sannyāsa, He was very, very strict. No woman could come very near to Him. From distance... This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's teaching. So you have to follow strictly the rules and regulation.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Lecture on CC Adi-lila 7.108 -- San Francisco, February 18, 1967:

Devotee: Well, I believe you once said that once a conditioned soul becomes perfected and gets out of the material world and he goes to Kṛṣṇaloka, there's no possibility of falling back.

Prabhupāda: No! There is possibility, but he does not come. Just like after putting your hand in the fire, you never put it again if you are really intelligent. So those who are going back to Godhead, they become intelligent. Why going back to Godhead? Just like we are in renounced order of life. So we have renounced our family life after thinking something. Now, if somebody comes, "Swamijī, you take thousand millions of dollars and marry again and become a family man," I'll never become, because I have got my bad experience. I'll never become. So if one is intelligent enough, if he has got actually the bitter taste of this material world, he'll never agree. He'll never agree. But those who have not advanced to such knowledge, oh, they think, "Oh, this material enjoyment is very nice. Let me taste it and let me do business in my sannyāsī life, and stealthily and privately, let me enjoy." These things are going on. That means they have no taste. They come to hospital-making or this philanthropy. This come again.

Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.101 -- Washington, D.C., July 6, 1976: This material world means we must suffer trouble. Either scorching heat or pinching cold or blast or ādhidaivika, ādhyātmika. These things should be discussed. But still we got to work, why? Only for love. That is the only cause. I love my children, I love my wife, or I love my country, my society. Love is there. But this love is not giving me satisfaction. We are disappointed. As I, yesterday I cited the example of Mahatma Gandhi. For his country's love, he did so much. He wanted Hindu-Muslim unity, and he wanted nonviolence. In this way he was organizing. But the world is so ungrateful that instead of unity of Hindu-Muslim, in India we experienced complete partition, Hindustan and Pakistan. So he was baffled. And so far nonviolence was concerned, he was killed by violence. So he died very disappointed. So everyone... This is giving the best example, typical example. Everyone. We are attached to the love of this material world, but we are all disappointed. From everyone's experience, you'll find. Everyone is disappointed. Both sides, the lover and the beloved, both sides. You have got very good experience in this country. They marry again they are divorced, because disappointed. So this is going on. Therefore our love has to be reposed to Kṛṣṇa. That is the recommendation of Caitanya Mahāprabhu.

Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.353-354 -- New York, December 26, 1966: So here Yamunācārya says, "My dear Lord, tvāṁ śīla-rūpa-caritaiḥ parama-prakṛṣṭaiḥ..." Oh, just like Kṛṣṇa, His character, His activities. Now His character was certified by Bhīṣma. Bhīṣma. Bhīṣma was at that time Arjuna's grandfather. So practically he was, in age, Kṛṣṇa's grandfather. Kṛṣṇa's grandfather, Bhīṣma. He was fighting in the battlefield, a great warrior, kṣatriya, a great... He's called pitāmaha, Grandfather Bhīṣma. He's known as Grandfather Bhīṣma. Now his character is spotless. His character... Although he was living as a householder, he was more, more than any sage or any saint. Bhīṣma. The history of Bhīṣma is that he was son of Ganges. So Ganges was his mother, and his father, Mahārāja Śāntanu, after the death of his mother, he wanted to marry again. At that time, Bhīṣma was elderly. He was about twenty years old. So father, instead of getting the son married, he was himself very much anxious to get him married. So he selected a very beautiful girl, but she..., he belonged to a, that girl belonged to a low-caste family. Kṣatriyas could find, marry from anywhere. That is the injunction. They are not within the boundary of caste system. So the girl was a fisherman's daughter. So Mahārāja Śāntanu wanted to marry that girl, and the father was very cunning. He said, "No, no. I cannot offer my daughter to you. You are old man. You have got your son. So I cannot offer." He was bargaining. "No? Why? I shall give your daughter a palace. We shall enjoy so many years." "No. I can offer you my daughter provided if my daughter's son becomes the king after your death. Then I can offer." "Oh, that I cannot agree, because my eldest son is living. That I cannot agree."

1968 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk at Stow Lake -- March 27, 1968, San Francisco:

Devotee (2): What is the difference between an expansion and an incarnation?

Prabhupāda: Expansion is direct, and incarnation is indirect. When expansion of expansion is accepted, that is called kāla, incarnation, avatāra, kāla. So Advaita is not direct. The example is given in Brahma-saṁhitā. Just like you get one candle kindled from the first candle, another from the second, another from the third. So similarly, either expansion or incarnation, they are all candles. The original candle is Kṛṣṇa. It is not that expansion of expansion is less powerful. The candle power is the same either origin or expansion or expansion of the expansion. It is not that Nityānanda is less powerful than Caitanya, or Advaita is less powerful than... No. Any incarnation or expansion has the same potency, Viṣṇu-tattva. The manifestation of potency is different. Just like Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and Lord Rāma is also the Supreme Personality of Godhead. But one is original. Kṛṣṇa is original, and Rāma is an expansion. Why? Because Kṛṣṇa exhibited the qualities of God fully. Rāma exhibited qualities of God partially. Take for example, Rāma was manifesting Himself as an ideal king. He was not manifesting Himself as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Therefore as ideal king He was limiting Himself with the moral principles of this world. And Kṛṣṇa, being the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He exhibited that He's above any principle of the material world. He's free to act any way He likes. Otherwise what is the meaning... Means full-fledged manifestation of God. Lord Rāma, He married only one, Sītā. And when Sītā was kidnapped by Rāvaṇa, He never married again. Or when Sītā was sent to the forest for public opinion, He never married again. He remained a sticked to, stuck to only one wife because He was setting example, moral principle, to the world. Kṛṣṇa married 16,108. Not religious. Religious, He married only eight wife. But these 16,100 girls were kidnapped by one demon, and they were concentrated in a camp. So they prayed to Kṛṣṇa to save them. Kṛṣṇa is kind to everyone. So Kṛṣṇa came to their rescue, and He killed that demon.

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation with Director of Research of the Dept. of Social Welfare -- May 21, 1975, Melbourne:

Prabhupāda: I have seen many of my students, their family, whole family disrupt on account of father and mother, even in old age, divorce. I have seen Brahmānanda's mother. His father was very... still living. Very good businessman, very nice family, good income. All of a sudden the father and mother disagreed, they divorce. The sons were somewhere; the daughters were somewhere.

Director: That's cases we deal with. Adoption, and...

Prabhupāda: And the father married again, the mother married again. They were not happy, and the business also closed. So by one instance I can understand that how in the Western countries people become out of social structure. The root cause is godlessness. Root cause.

Morning Walk -- December 19, 1975, Bombay:

Dr. Patel: My father never did any work in all his life. Never. He had some estate, and then he lost it also. We are big zamindars, and he lost all the land and property in various forms of business. And after that he only was sitting in the temple all the day and saying hari-nāma. All his life, from the age of forty years till he died at age of eighty, he did that. My mother died when he was thirty-two years.

Prabhupāda: Oh.

Dr. Patel: Very early. And he never married again, and I was the only son and no other daughter or son. Many people requested him to marry, but he said no, he would not marry, because one son is sufficient.

Prabhupāda: Yes. putradi (?) bhāgya. Putra, when there is putra, what is the use of marriage?

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walks -- January 22-23, 1976, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Yes. That... One, our Sanskrit professor used to... "My dear boys, even there is beauty amongst the negroes." He used to say. And it is my... It is one's eye that she is very beautiful. It does not recommend others' recommendation. Yar saṅge ye morje man kibari ki vardana(?). It doesn't matter whether she low caste or high caste; if she is attractive, then it is all right. Therefore rūpavatī bhāryā śatruḥ. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita's instruction are very, very nice. You know my story? My father's instruction? Yes.

Harikeśa: What was that?

Prabhupāda: (chuckles) My wife was never beautiful to my sight, so I wanted to marry again, and my father advised, "Don't do it. She is your friend, that you don't like her." (laughs) Just see.

Morning Walk at Niavaran Park -- August 8, 1976, Tehran: Prabhupāda: When one is alone, brahmacārī, he has no condition, he lives freely. But as soon as he's married, so many obligations. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ [SB 5.5.8], must have a nice house, must have good land, good source of income. And then if you have got house and good source of income, then you call friends to oblige them. Then get children, give them education, put them in nice condition of life, get them married again grandchildren, and so on, so on. That means these material conditions which have embarrassed me, that business is very nicely done by the wife for increasing my embarrassment. Nowadays nobody takes responsibility of family. That is another thing. But marriage means to take so many responsibilities. That is another condition of material life. Then home, people are sacrificing so much for home, for country, for nation. That also will be finished with the end of this body.

Room Conversation -- September 6, 1976, Vrndavana: Prabhupāda: They can. They'll not accept the process. They can. Everyone. Otherwise why these brahmacārīs? Just to be trained. That's all. By training we can find so many brahmacārīs. Just like by training you have given up so many things. You were accustomed to this illicit sex and meat-eating and... But you have given up. But why? By training. So if we request the government, "Let us open this brahmacārī..." They'll not help. But they'll make the other propaganda. They'll make contraceptive method, and naturally one Hindu widow is trained up not to marry again. Once she got a husband, that's all right. Now you convert your, you divert your attention to Kṛṣṇa. They'll make propaganda. "Why stop her sense gratification? Let her marry again, widow marriage." Why widow marriage? If there is voluntarily giving up begetting any more child, to avoid husband, why the widow marriage bill is introduced? Everything was natural, brahmacārī. The sterilization is already there. That will not be accepted.

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- January 5, 1977, Bombay:

Hari-śauri: I remember my auntie's mother. She was Italian, and she used to wear black all the time. Just like the widows here, they wear white, so she was wearing black. She was a widow. So all the widows, even I saw some young women...

Prabhupāda: Here also, in Gujarat, they wear black, black sari.

Hari-śauri: Yes, right. And they wear black, and they don't dress attractively at all, and there's no question of marrying again.

Prabhupāda: And Russia also, respectable widows, they used to live in widow's home. They would never marry.

Room Conversations -- February 20, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Yes. Therefore doctor became fortunate. He got very good wife.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: But you were most fortunate.

Prabhupāda: Huh? [break] I think so.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And your wife wasn't so good.

Prabhupāda: Because she was always against Kṛṣṇa... My father said like that, that "You are so fortunate that you don't like your wife. Don't try to marry again."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You were thinking like that.

Prabhupāda: "You are fortunate." I took it seriously. "People try to give up the company of wife with great difficulty. You have natural tendency."

Conversation about Old Days in Calcutta -- July 1, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Then we began to... I used to call his wife didi, as my sister, eldest sister. That man was old. At that time he was at least seventy years old. And his wife died, so he had no children, so he married again. Old husband, young wife, but the relationship was so nice, great devotee and the wife devoted.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Even though the husband was very old and the wife young.

Prabhupāda: Formerly even eighty years old, they used to marry.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Even?

Prabhupāda: Eighty years old.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Eight-years-old girl.

Prabhupāda: Eighty.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Eighty.

Prabhupāda: There were many cases.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What... I mean, what is the reason behind that? Isn't that very old to get married?

Prabhupāda: If he had no family member, he would marry again. (pause) But it was subject of criticism.

1967 Correspondence

Letter to Rupanuga -- Vrindaban 9 September, 1967: You have a problem before you in respect to living separate from your wife. If your wife keeps herself peaceful living separately from you, I think you can arrange for the time being like that, but in my opinion, this business of separation may not be developed into a case of divorce. So far Eric is concerned, he is developing K.C. from very childhood, and it is a great opportunity on a human being. I think his father has got a special duty to protect this child in his K.C.; The mother has also similar responsibility, so either your wife or yourself must take care of the good child. If you wife takes charge of him, then you become completely free personally, and you can live in the temple with other brahmacharies, either in N.Y. or elsewhere as you think best. If however, your wife leaves the child with you, then you can take care of him; that will be nice. But I think it is very difficult, because he is not sufficiently grown up. Anyway, both your wife and yourself cannot think of marrying again; that is not my advice. Even if your wife decides to marry again, for your part you should forget it; and if by the Grace of Krishna you can live peacefully without any wife, completely devoted to K.C., that will be the best part of your life. You can love and put all your affection to the child, and try to make him fully K.C.

1968 Correspondence

Letter to Gargamuni -- Allston, Mass 5 May, 1968: Srimad-Bhagavatam says that we should try for the highest achievement, and complete it before the next death comes. I think that your separation from Karunamayi is Krishna's desire. So don't be sorry for it. In this connection I may tell you my personal life experience. When I was married at the age of 21 with a wife who was only 11 years old, practically I did not like my wife. And as I was at that time very young man, and an educated college student, I wanted to marry again, in spite of my wife being present. Because amongst the Hindus one can accept more than one wife (of course the law is now changed). So, whenever everything was all ready for my marriage with another girl, my great father who was a great devotee of the Lord, called me and instructed me in the following words: "My dear boy, I understand that you are trying to get yourself married again, but I would advise you not to do this. It is Krishna's Grace that your present wife is not just according to your liking. This will help you not to become attached with wife and home, and this will help you in the matter of your future advancement of Krishna Consciousness."

Letter to Brahmananda -- Seattle 16 October, 1968: I think also that Gargamuni also should be supplied with another bride. Because karmis without association of woman, cannot work. So as he is going to be a karmi—not exactly karmi, karma-yogi, so if he likes, he can marry again. But he cannot be a very strict husband, otherwise the same thing will happen. Because in America, the girls are not so trained that they will be very much obedient. So you think over, but if he likes, he can marry again.

1971 Correspondence

Letter to Vrinda -- Nairobi 14 October, 1971: I heard from Sivananda that you had left him without his knowledge. That is not very good. When he wrote me twice "my wife has left me and there is no trace" then I advised him that instead of marrying again, better to prepare for sannyasa. So far my knowledge is concerned, I consider Sivananda as one of my foremost disciples. I always remember his smiling face and when I was in Hamburg he was my constant companion and my personal attendant also. So I cannot forget Sivananda's good behavior and gentle nature. I do not know why you disagreed with such a nice husband. If you take my advice, then you will immediately return to your husband and live there peacefully. You are a qualified girl. You can do extensive service to Krishna. I require your service in the matter of translating work. So I advise you to engage yourself fully in your good quality occupation and be advanced in Krishna Consciousness.

1975 Correspondence

Letter to Bhagavan -- Vrindaban 7 September, 1975: Everyone wants more than one wife. That is human nature. This means their mind is not being diverted to Krishna. Because they are not madan mohan, they are madan dahan, they are in the Cupid's fire. You want them to have more wives under GBC supervision. You will supply the maintenance? What is this nonsense? They must go outside the Society to do it. And, the sort of marriage where they are not satisfied cannot be allowed. Nor can women with child strictly she cannot marry again.

1976 Correspondence

Letter to Anangamanjari -- New York 19 July, 1976: The best thing will be if you come here to New York and leave your situation there at Bombay. You are a very sincere devotee, that I know, and there are many nice girls here like Silavati who you can associate with. We have just had our Rathayatra here down Fifth Avenue and it was a grand success. It is a very nice field for expanding Krishna Consciousness and you will be very happy here I know. It is not advisable to marry again as this may disturb your former husband who is now engaged in preaching activities. So rather you can come here to New York where your service will be appreciated and there is very nice association with so many nice girls.

Letter to Vidyabadhu -- Vrindaban 6 September, 1976: You and your son should come immediately to Vrndavana and stay under the direction of Gurukula. You may engage as a teacher of young children and your son will be a student. You will be supported by a pension that your husband has now received from the US government. There are three enemies. One of them is the mother with child who marries again. The child should be raised in Krsna consciousness movement where both of you will advance in developing love of God.