Married life (Books)
Bhagavad-gita As It Is
BG Chapters 1 - 6
Children at the age of five are sent to the guru-kula, or the place of the spiritual master, and the master trains the young boys in the strict discipline of becoming brahmacārīs. Without such practice, no one can make advancement in any yoga, whether it be dhyāna, jñāna or bhakti. One who, however, follows the rules and regulations of married life, having a sexual relationship only with his wife (and that also under regulation), is also called a brahmacārī. Such a restrained householder brahmacārī may be accepted in the bhakti school, but the jñāna and dhyāna schools do not even admit householder brahmacārīs. They require complete abstinence without compromise. In the bhakti school, a householder brahmacārī is allowed controlled sex life because the cult of bhakti-yoga is so powerful that one automatically loses sexual attraction, being engaged in the superior service of the Lord.
BG Chapters 13 - 18
One should offer, or learn to offer, respect to God or to the demigods, the perfect, qualified brāhmaṇas and the spiritual master and superiors like father, mother or any person who is conversant with Vedic knowledge. These should be given proper respect. One should practice cleansing oneself externally and internally, and he should learn to become simple in behavior. He should not do anything which is not sanctioned by the scriptural injunctions. He should not indulge in sex outside of married life, for sex is sanctioned in the scripture only in marriage, not otherwise. This is called celibacy. These are penances and austerities as far as the body is concerned.
Srimad-Bhagavatam
SB Canto 3
Viṣṇu worship is the ultimate aim of human life. Those who take the license of married life for sense enjoyment must also take the responsibility to satisfy the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Viṣṇu, and the first stepping-stone is the varṇāśrama-dharma system. Varṇāśrama-dharma is the systematic institution for advancing in worship of Viṣṇu. However, if one directly engages in the process of devotional service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, it may not be necessary to undergo the disciplinary system of varṇāśrama-dharma. The other sons of Brahmā, the Kumāras, directly engaged in devotional service, and thus they had no need to execute the principles of varṇāśrama-dharma.
Therefore, desiring to marry a girl of like disposition who may prove to be a veritable cow of plenty in my married life, to satisfy my lustful desire I too have sought the shelter of Your lotus feet, which are the source of everything, for You are like a desire tree.
After describing the necessity of married life, Kardama Muni asserts that marriage and other social affairs are stereotyped regulations for persons who are addicted to material sense enjoyment. The principles of animal life—eating, sleeping, mating and defending—are actually necessities of the body, but those who engage in transcendental Kṛṣṇa consciousness, giving up all the stereotyped activities of this material world, are freed from social conventions. Conditioned souls are under the spell of material energy, or eternal time—past, present and future—but as soon as one engages in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he transcends the limits of past and present and becomes situated in the eternal activities of the soul. One has to act in terms of the Vedic injunctions in order to enjoy material life, but those who have taken to the devotional service of the Lord are not afraid of the regulations of this material world. Such devotees do not care for the conventions of material activities; they boldly take to that shelter which is like an umbrella against the sun of repeated birth and death.
The principle of brahmacarya is celibacy. There are two kinds of brahmacārīs. One is called naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī, which means one who takes a vow of celibacy for his whole life, whereas the other, the upakurvāṇa-brahmacārī, is a brahmacārī who takes the vow of celibacy up to a certain age. For example, he may take the vow to remain celibate up to twenty-five years of age; then, with the permission of his spiritual master, he enters married life. Brahmacarya is student life, the beginning of life in the spiritual orders, and the principle of brahmacarya is celibacy. Only a householder can indulge in sense gratification or sex life, not a brahmacārī. Svāyambhuva Manu requested Kardama Muni to accept his daughter, since Kardama had not taken the vow of naiṣṭhika-brahmacarya. He was willing to marry, and the suitable daughter of a high royal family was presented.
The word samanuvrata indicates that it is the duty of a wife to adopt the special circumstances in which the husband is situated. Of course, if the husband is as great as Kardama Muni, then a very good result accrues from following him. But even if the husband is not a great devotee like Kardama Muni, it is the wife's duty to adapt herself according to his mentality. That makes married life very happy. It is also mentioned herein that by following the strict vows of a chaste woman, Princess Devahūti became very skinny, and therefore her husband became compassionate. He knew that she was the daughter of a great king and yet was serving him just like an ordinary woman. She was reduced in health by such activities, and he became compassionate and addressed her as follows.
It is foretold in the Twelfth Canto of the Bhāgavatam that in this age of Kali married life will be accepted on the consideration of sex only; when the boy and girl are pleased in sex, they get married, and when there is deficiency in sex, they separate. That is not actual marriage, but a combination of men and women like cats and dogs. Therefore, the children produced in the modern age are not exactly human beings. Human beings must be twice-born. A child is first born of a good father and mother, and then he is born again of the spiritual master and the Vedas. The first mother and father bring about his birth into the world; then the spiritual master and the Vedas become his second father and mother. According to the Vedic system of marriage for producing children, every man and woman was enlightened in spiritual knowledge, and at the time of their combination to produce a child, everything was scrutinizingly and scientifically done.
SB Canto 4
The purpose of marrying is to beget a son, because a son is necessary to deliver his father and forefathers from any hellish conditional life in which they may be. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita therefore says, putra-hīnaṁ gṛhaṁ śūnyam: without a son, married life is simply abominable. King Aṅga was a very pious king in this life, but because of his previous sinful activity he could not get a son. It is concluded, therefore, that if a person does not get a son it is due to his past sinful life.
You are so much devoted to the demigods, but who are they? Indeed, your affection for these demigods is exactly like the affection of an unchaste woman who neglects her married life and gives all attention to her paramour.
At the present moment, human civilization does not care for religious principles. It is, however, greatly interested in economic development without religious principles. For instance, in a slaughterhouse the butchers certainly get money easily, but such business is not based on religious principles. Similarly, there are many nightclubs for sense gratification and brothels for sex. Sex, of course, is allowed in married life, but prostitution is prohibited because all our activities are ultimately aimed at liberation, at freedom from the clutches of material existence. Similarly, although the government may license liquor shops, this does not mean that liquor shops should be opened unrestrictedly and illicit liquor smuggled. Licensing is meant for restricting.
SB Canto 5
When the Lord appears in this universe in the form of a human being, He has two purposes, as stated in Bhagavad-gītā (BG 4.8)—paritrāṇāya sādhūnāṁ vināśāya ca duṣkṛtām: to destroy the demons and protect the devotees. To protect the devotees, the Lord not only satisfies them by His personal presence but also teaches them so that they will not fall down from devotional service. By His personal example, Lord Rāmacandra taught the devotees that it is better not to enter married life, which is certainly followed by many tribulations.
SB Canto 6
The men of the higher classes—the brāhmaṇas, kṣatriyas and vaiśyas—do not beget children in the wombs of lower-class women. Therefore the custom in Vedic society is to examine the horoscopes of a girl and boy being considered for marriage to see whether their combination is suitable. Vedic astrology reveals whether one has been born in the vipra-varṇa, kṣatriya-varṇa, vaiśya-varṇa or śūdra-varṇa, according to the three qualities of material nature. This must be examined because a marriage between a boy of the vipra-varṇa and a girl of the śūdra-varṇa is incompatible; married life would be miserable for both husband and wife. Consequently a boy should marry a girl of the same category. Of course, this is trai-guṇya, a material calculation according to the Vedas, but if the boy and girl are devotees there need be no such considerations. A devotee is transcendental, and therefore in a marriage between devotees, the boy and girl form a very happy combination.
SB Canto 7
First one should be religious, observing various rules and regulations, and then one must earn some money for maintenance of his family and the satisfaction of his senses. The most important ceremony for sense gratification is marriage because sexual intercourse is one of the principal necessities of the material body. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). Although sexual intercourse is not a very exalted requisite in life, both animals and men require some sense gratification because of material propensities. One should be satisfied with married life and not expend energy for extra sense gratification or sex life.
| Page Title: | Married life (Books) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, Aparajita Radhika |
| Created: | 08 of Dec, 2010 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=2, SB=12, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=0, Let=0 |
| No. of Quotes: | 14 |