Married couples

Expressions researched:
"I have married so many couples" |"a couple will be married" |"couples here. They are married" |"couples married" |"marriage ceremony for three couples" |"married couple" |"married couples" |"one couple is married" |"one couple was married" |"one couple will be married"

SB Canto 3

SB 3.30.28, Purport:

Materialistic life is based on sex life. The existence of all the materialistic people, who are undergoing severe tribulation in the struggle for existence, is based on sex. Therefore, in the Vedic civilization sex life is allowed only in a restricted way; it is for the married couple and only for begetting children. But when sex life is indulged in for sense gratification illegally and illicitly, both the man and the woman await severe punishment in this world or after death. In this world also they are punished by virulent diseases like syphilis and gonorrhea, and in the next life, as we see in this passage of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, they are put into different kinds of hellish conditions to suffer.

SB Canto 4

SB 4.13.44, Purport:

It is said that a married couple must have a son, otherwise their family life is void. But a son born without good qualities is as good as a blind eye. A blind eye has no use for seeing, but it is simply unbearably painful. The King therefore thought himself very unfortunate to have such a bad son.

CC Madhya-lila

CC Madhya 5.24, Purport:

We are giving all facility to the general populace to take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and in order to fix the devotees in concentration on the service of the Lord, marriage is sometimes allowed. We have experienced that such married couples actually render very important service to the mission. Therefore, one should not misunderstand when a sannyāsī takes part in a marriage ceremony. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and Nityānanda Prabhu took great pleasure in hearing about the marriage ceremony between the young brāhmaṇa and the daughter of the elderly brāhmaṇa.

Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead

Krsna Book 54:

On the occasion of His marriage with Rukmiṇī, all the inhabitants were happy, and in every house there were great ceremonies. The inhabitants of Dvārakā City were so much pleased that they dressed themselves with the nicest possible ornaments and garments and went to present gifts, according to their means, to the newly married couple, Kṛṣṇa and Rukmiṇī. All the houses of Yadupurī (Dvārakā) were decorated with flags, festoons and flowers. Each and every house had an extra gate specifically prepared for this occasion, and on both sides of the gate were big water jugs filled with water. The whole city was made fragrant by the burning of fine incense, and at night there was illumination from thousands of lamps, which decorated every building.

Krsna Book 58:

Since the King and queens were very much pleased on this auspicious occasion, there was a celebration all over the city in honor of the marriage. Everywhere were heard the sounds of the conchshell and kettledrum and various other vibrations of music and song. The learned brāhmaṇas showered their blessings upon the newly married couple. In jubilation, all the inhabitants of the city dressed themselves with colorful garments and ornaments. King Nagnajit was so much pleased that he gave a dowry to his daughter and son-in-law, as follows.

Krsna Book 68:

Duryodhana, being affectionate toward his daughter Lakṣmaṇā, had her married to Sāmba in great pomp. For her dowry, he first gave 1,200 elephants, each at least 60 years old; then he gave 10,000 nice horses, 6,000 chariots, dazzling just like the sunshine, and 1,000 maidservants decorated with golden ornaments. Lord Balarāma, the most prominent member of the Yadu dynasty, acted as guardian of the bridegroom, Sāmba, and very pleasingly accepted the dowry. Balarāma was very satisfied after His great reception from the side of the Kurus, and accompanied by the newly married couple, He started toward His capital city of Dvārakā.

Krsna Book 86:

Lord Kṛṣṇa was in favor of Arjuna; therefore, along with other members of the family, He tried to pacify Balarāma by falling at His feet and begging Him to pardon Arjuna. Kṛṣṇa convinced Lord Balarāma that Subhadrā was attached to Arjuna, and thus Balarāma became pleased to know that she wanted Arjuna as her husband. The matter was settled, and to please the newly married couple Lord Balarāma arranged to send a dowry consisting of an abundance of riches, including elephants, chariots, horses, menservants and maidservants.

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Lecture on BG 7.1 -- Nairobi, October 27, 1975:

Brahmānanda: He says that according to Kṛṣṇa consciousness philosophy, the first living being was Brahmā, and in the Christian Bible it says Adam was the first man. So he wants to know if in Kṛṣṇa consciousness scriptures there is any mention of Adam.

Prabhupāda: Why you want to tally with Bible and Kṛṣṇa conscious literature? Do you think that Kṛṣṇa conscious literature has to tally with Bible? There is, that "There is first living being, Brahmā," and Brahmā was also married couple. So you can take it as Adam and Eve. That's all. (laughter) Why do you want cent percent tally? But this nonsense theory, that there was a monkey first of all, (laughter) Darwin's theory, and from monkey, human being has come, this is nonsense.

Lecture on BG 7.3 -- Bombay, March 29, 1971:

My Guru Mahārāja wanted to establish daiva-varṇāśrama. So married life is called gṛhastha-āśrama. It is as good as sannyāsa-āśrama. Āśrama means where there is bhagavad-bhajana. It doesn't matter whether one is sannyāsī or one is gṛhastha or a brahmacārī. The main principle is bhagavad-bhajana. But practically also, I may inform you that these married couples, they are helping me very much because... For practical example I may say that one of my Godbrothers, a sannyāsī, he was deputed to go to London for starting a temple, but three or four years he remained there, he could not execute the will; therefore he was called back. Now, I sent six married couples. All of them are present here. And they worked so nicely that within one year we started our London temple, and that is going on very nicely.

Lecture on BG 7.3 -- Bombay, March 29, 1971:

All these boys and girls who are initiated, they will have to follow the regulative principles. No illicit sex life. Just like one couple is married because we don't allow to live..., to allow the boys and girls to live as friends. No. That is not allowed.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Lecture on SB 1.1.2 -- London, August 15, 1971:

We are simply interested how to develop our Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But the economic question becomes automatically solved. It is not that we are serving, we have no sense gratification. The married couples are there. Nothing is prohibited; everything is there. But it is adjusted, adjusted. Not like cats and dogs. It must be adjusted according to rules and regulations. That is required. That is religious life, that is pious life, and then you become advanced in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and ultimately you get liberation.

Lecture on SB 2.4.2 -- Los Angeles, June 26, 1972:

Always thinking of "Oh, he's my lover," "She is my lover," like that. That attraction. So then, after they're united... Just like one married couple. As soon as they're married or united, ataḥ gṛha. Gṛha. Gṛha means apartment, home. They must live very nicely. Then kṣetra. Kṣetra means field. Formerly there was no industry. The earning, means of livelihood, was agriculture. Everyone must have some land to produce grains, fruits. That's all. Milk. First of all, apartment; then, to maintain the expenditure, now we have invented industry or trade and so many things. Pickpocketing, killing.

Lecture on SB 3.22.22 and Initiations -- Tehran, August 12, 1976:

You'll find all those instructions of Kapila Muni to His mother. So the system was very nice. Everything was there. There was no question of simply brahmacārīs. No. There are married couples. This Kardama Muni was a great yogi. Still, he married. There was no disturbance.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Boston, May 4, 1968:

Guest (2): Let me try to delineate that a little more precisely. I have known people who have said, "Well, yes, you know I don't like birth, and I don't like death, and I don't like old age. But I have a tremendous driving need, and I don't know how to deal with it. You see, I must have sex. I must have sex. And I'm tormented. I'm stuck in the trap. I'm ensnared." You see? That is the individual I'm... Now if you can already reach the person through jñāna and convince him, and he can act on the decision of his will, then he's obviously already in a high state. But what do you do with the sort of person who is split, who is torn by his instinctual physical needs and they drive him? You see? And yet he wants to do something. How can you deal with such a person without forcing him to contain himself in such a way that he will resent it? Or must he be allowed to expend his energy until he is convinced by experience?

Prabhupāda: No. Just like amongst our students there are many married couples also, and there are brahmacārīs also. That I barred from this? He is not barred. Nobody is barred. Simply following some regulation. That will gradually train him. And the main principle is that as you go on hearing about this transcendental message, then you gradually become attached to these transcendental things. And the more you become attached to these transcendental things, the more you forget these material things.

Nectar of Devotion Lectures

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, October 16, 1972:

There are many couples here. They are married. I got them married. Sometimes I am criticized by my godbrothers. But they do not know why I got them married. Here is a couple, Gurudāsa and his wife, Yamunā, and where is Mālatī? Mālatī's not here? Eh? Mālatī and her husband, Śyāmasundara. And another couple, Jānakī and Mukunda. I sent them first, missionary to London to start the temple. And for one year, they struggled very hard and they called me that "I started the temple." So my Guru Mahārāja wanted to start a temple in London. He sent two sannyāsīs but it was not possible. But these gṛhasthas, they started. So we want to see that the mission is fulfilled. It doesn't matter whether he's a gṛhastha or sannyāsī.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Lecture on CC Adi-lila 7.108 -- San Francisco, February 18, 1967:

A woman's surname is dāsī. She agrees to serve the man. You have observed, when we get young couples married, we get it promised: the husband promises that "I take charge of your life. Your whole life shall be dependent upon me. I take full charge of you." And the woman agrees, "Yes, I also agree to serve you the whole life." This is marriage.

Wedding Ceremonies

Wedding of Syama dasi and Hayagriva -- Los Angeles, December 25, 1968:

Those who become our student, we prohibit first of all these four things. And if we find some of the girls and some of the boys, they are strictly following, and if they are agreeable, then we arrange for their marriage. So there are many instances of marriage like this. They were living very irresponsibly in the former life. Now they are preaching this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. Some of my students, they are married couples, young men.

Initiation of Sri-Caitanya dasa and Wedding of Pradyumna and Arundhati -- Columbus, May 14, 1969:

Some of the boys and girls will be initiated, primarily, and one couple will be married. So according to Hindu rites, there are many kinds of marriage, eight kinds of marriages. So in this age, as we find in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, marriage can be performed simply by agreement. Svīkāram eva hi udvāhe. That is sufficient. And actually it is being carried on in every country.

General Lectures

Lecture -- Los Angeles, November 13, 1968:

"There are millions, 8,400,000 species of life, and I am the father of all these living entities." So who is going to be His father? Nobody is father, but a devotee, when likes, "My dear Lord, I want a son like You," so Kṛṣṇa accepts, "Where is another son like Me? I'll become your son." That's all. Just like Vasudeva and Devakī. In their previous life they underwent severe austerities. They were married couples, but they had no sex. They were determined that "Unless we get the Lord as our son, we are not having any son." So they went on for many years, many thousands years' austerity. Then the Lord appeared.

Lecture -- Boston, April 25, 1969:

Although I am a sannyāsī—I have no interest with family life, neither we are expected to take part in this man and woman relationship—but still, purposely I have married so many couples, boys and girls, just to see them happy. Without happiness, without being in good mood of mind, you cannot prosecute Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Address to Indian Association -- Columbus, May 11, 1969:

Anyone who comes to us for initiation, our first condition is that there should be no illicit sex life, no boyfriend-girlfriend. No. Just get yourself married. Although I am sannyāsī, I have no connection with this marriage, but I do it for the sake of my disciples, just to settle them nicely. So all the boys or girls, they are being married. In Boston, while I was coming, there was three couples married. So they are living peacefully. There is no intoxication. They do not smoke even, do not take even tea or coffee. And they are taking nice prasādam every day. They are happy, they are healthy, and chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa.

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation with Indian Guests -- July 11, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: Just like we are also living within a room, gṛha. But we are sannyāsī. What is the difference between gṛhastha and sannyāsī? He lives with his wife. Gṛhiṇī gṛham ity āhuḥ. Gṛhiṇī means "the wife is gṛha." So if the wife is favorable, devotee, then there is no use of giving up family life. That's all. We have got so many married couples.

1974 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- June 20, 1974, Germany:

Prabhupāda: Sex life, married couple, that is alright, not otherwise, that is sinful.

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- May 21, 1975, Melbourne:

Prabhupāda: This too much intermingling of woman means the path of hell. Therefore the restriction is that only the married couple can freely mix, not others. Mahat-sevāṁ dvār... That is the defect of the modern civilization. They are not interested associating with devotees. They are interested associating with man or woman, that's all. Woman is interested to associate with man, and man is interested to associate with woman. Yoṣitāṁ saṅgi-saṅgam. Therefore the civilization is becoming hellish.

1967 Correspondence

Letter to Rayarama -- San Francisco 21 December, 1967:

I am anxious to know about Damodara. What happens to him. If he is in need of sex, who forbids him. A man in sex life is not neglected by us. The only thing we want, that sex life can be allowed only in married couples. So get him convinced about it.

1968 Correspondence

Letter to Hamsaduta -- Allston, Mass 28 May, 1968:

As you are married, there is no need of separation as you are practicing artificially. You must live just like a respectable married couple and earn money as a Grhastha, and spend 50% for Krishna—that is the real program.

Letter to Satsvarupa -- Montreal 12 July, 1968:

I understand that you are trying to organize a Brahmacarini asrama. A Brahmacarini asrama is certainly a great necessity because there are so many girl devotees who are attached to our Krishna Consciousness movement. Those who are married couple, there is nothing to be said—simply to live together as husband and wife. But those who are not married certainly such Brahmacaris and Brahmacarinis should not live together.

1969 Correspondence

Letter to Mrs. Hochner -- Los Angeles 13 January, 1969:

Your are very fortunate lady to have such nice daughters like Balai and Lilasukha. Balai is very happy with her husband, Advaita, and all of my students who are married couples are doing very nicely and living very happily. Six boys and girls who were married under my superintendence are now working in London, and they are making very hopeful adventures. Here in Los Angeles also there is one married couple, Dayananda and Nandarani, and they also are doing very nicely in improving the temple here.

Letter to Nandarani -- New Vrindaban 23 May, 1969:

The most important point in your letter is the activities of your nice daughter. I hope all the small babies who are now being raised by our married couples will one day do tremendously in the matter of Krishna Consciousness. In the Srimad-Bhagavatam it is advised that nobody should become a father or mother if he or she is not capable to raise children to the perfectional stage of stopping repeated births and death. This process of birth and death can only be stopped by awakening Krishna Consciousness.

Letter to Tamala Krsna -- New Vrindaban 1 June, 1969:

It is not necessary that hundreds and thousands of people will live in our temple, but if we can make effective propaganda, then the neighboring residents, householders, will be inclined to be initiated and follow the modes of temple life. So you encourage the visitors, boys and girls as well as married couples, to understand the value of life and how they can peacefully and happily live if they follow the routine worship method in the temple and establish this in their home to be happy in all respects. Krishna Consciousness Movement is actually an attempt to make all people happy generally and, becoming liberated in this life from material contamination, they'll be thus eligible to enter into the Kingdom of God after quitting this body.

Letter to Vamanadeva -- Tittenhurst 21 October, 1969:

I want that all married couples should open new centers and carry on by dint of hard labor. Every householder, husband and wife together, they require to live in an apartment, so if they have got an extra room, they can immediately start a center.

1970 Correspondence

Letter to Candravali -- Los Angeles 9 January, 1970:

By the grace of Krishna, our centers managed by the married couples, like Boston, Hawaii, Detroit, New Vrindaban, St. Louis and Buffalo, etc., are doing very well. Similarly, when you are married, as it was discussed in Los Angeles, you also go somewhere, probably in Mexico as you desire, and organize a center there and start an edition of BTG in Spanish language.

Letter to Madhava Maharaja -- Los Angeles 21 January, 1970:

Srila Prabhupada sent His disciples for preaching work mostly as Brahmacaris and Sannyasis; but I have adopted the method of sending young married couples for such preaching work, and you will be pleased to know that this system in these countries has proved more effective.

Letter to Ekayani -- Los Angeles 10 February, 1970:

I always advise married couples that the male should be engaged in some work; but if somebody is busily engaged in our activities and therefore he cannot work outside, that is also nice. We do not press people to contribute, and even though we do so, it is for the good of the contributor because everything is employed for advancing this Krishna Consciousness movement.

Letter to Madhusudana -- Los Angeles 29 June, 1970:

So I wish that all of you, especially those that are married couples, may combinedly advance in Krsna consciousness being constantly engaged in His loving service and that will make me very happy.

1971 Correspondence

Letter to Vrinda -- Nairobi 14 October, 1971:

Our ISKCON Society married couples means that both parties fully are engaged in Krishna's service. I have noted your several complaints against the devotees but it would be better to set the example rather than to criticize the defects of the devotees. We should always remember that we recruit members from people in general. It is not expected that every one of our members should be immediately to the standard qualification. The best thing for you is to set the example by your personal behavior and try to reform the others, not by criticizing but by friendly behavior.

1972 Correspondence

Letter to Sudevi -- Los Angeles 15 September, 1972:

By his making advancement in Krsna Consciousness, automatically the wife will make advancement in the husband's footsteps. But if you do not assist him and be very obedient to his welfare, then he may become disgusted and go away. So there must be mutual responsibility by both parties, and now that you are married couple there is no question of your separation, but you must both strive very hard to serve Krsna together in harmony. What are these nonsense emotions that cause you to go this way and that way, the real thing is your duty. Now you are married couple, you know what your duty is, so best thing is to perform your duty and always think of Krsna. Never mind some temporary inconveniences, we must remain steady in our duty to Krsna.

Letter to Mr. Loy -- Vrindaban 7 November, 1972:

They have realized that life together spent in the pursuit of God is real knowledge, and that they have not done lightly by any means, no actually they must be considered as great souls, the most exalted persons among all persons. Our married couples are rendering the greatest service to humanity, their countrymen, and to their parents, of that kindly be assured by me.

1973 Correspondence

Letter to Madhukara -- Bombay 4 January, 1973:

We are supposed to take husband or wife as eternal companion or assistant in Krsna consciousness service, and there is promise never to separate. Of course if there is any instance of very advanced disciples, married couple, and they have agreed that the husband shall now take sannyasa or renounced order of life, being mutually very happy by that arrangement, then there is ground for such separation. But even in those cases there is no question of separation, the husband, even he is sannyasa, he must be certain his wife will be taken care of nicely and protected in his absence.