All-attractive means, therefore, that Kṛṣṇa is attractive to everyone, either one is Kṛṣṇa's devotee or nondevotee. The best example is Kaṁsa. Kaṁsa heard that the eighth son of his sister, Devakī, would kill him. Since that time, he became attracted to Kṛṣṇa. "Oh, somebody's coming in the name Kṛṣṇa, as my sister's eighth son. So He will kill me. So let me kill my sister, the source of Kṛṣṇa." So he first of all wanted to kill his sister. That is due to attraction of Kṛṣṇa. He was very kind to his sister. After the marriage of his sister he was taking very jubilantly his sister and his brother-in-law in a chariot, and he was personally driving, because Devakī happened to be younger sister of Kaṁsa. Naturally, everyone has got some love for younger brother and sister. So he was affectionate. Although he was a nondevotee demon, still, natural attraction one cannot avoid. Just like a tiger. Tiger is killer of everyone. But still, the tiger and the tigress have got affection for the cubs. That is natural. So he had the natural attraction for his sister, but when he heard that his sister would be the killer of him, he immediately wanted to kill his sister. That story you know. It is stated in the Kṛṣṇa book beginning.
Marriage (Lectures, SB canto 1)
Expressions researched:
"marriage"
|"marriageable"
|"marriages"
|"married"
|"marries"
|"marrige"
|"marry"
|"marrying"
|"matrimonial"
|"remarriage"
|"remarried"
|"remarry"
|"wedlock"
Lectures
Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures
Prabhupāda: Light is to be realized personally. Light... Just like this room is dark. When there is light, it doesn't require to be enquired, "Is it light?" You personally perceive it is light. Just like you are hungry and foodstuff is given to you and when your hunger is satisfied, appetite is appeased, then you naturally you feel, "Yes, I am satisfied." You don't require to enquire anyone. Therefore it is called self-realization. Automatically you realize. You don't require to enquire. This is the process. (break)
Hṛdayānanda: ...that in the spiritual path everyone has to be married.
Prabhupāda: No, not necessarily. If you can remain without marrying, it is better. But because you cannot, you become bachelor daddy, therefore you must marry. (laughter) Please don't become bachelor daddy. (laughter) This is most sinful life. (end)
That is already fixed up. Just like... In our Kṛṣṇa society we are not very much anxious for economic development or sense gratification. We are simply interested how to develop our Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But the economic question becomes automatically solved. It is not that we are serving, we have no sense gratification. The married couples are there. Nothing is prohibited; everything is there. But it is adjusted, adjusted. Not like cats and dogs. It must be adjusted according to rules and regulations. That is required. That is religious life, that is pious life, and then you become advanced in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and ultimately you get liberation.
Just like for example one wants to enjoy sex life. "Yes," Vedic knowledge, Vedic scripture, says, "Yes, just enjoy in married life, not like cats and dogs." This is the difference. So without Vedic injunction, if one wants to enjoy by his whims, then he'll be more and more entangled. But if he follows the Vedic injunction... Just like what is the difference between sex life as married man and woman and without? So far sex life is concerned, there is no difference. But the restriction and the rules and regulation will not make him mad after sex life. That is the... Just like if anyone wants to eat meat... These are natural tendencies. So Veda says, "Yes, you can eat meat, but by offering sacrifice, or just offer a sacrifice before the goddess Kālī."
Similarly, our program is not to increase to the death point, neither to decrease it to the death point. Yuktāhāra-vihārasya. We don't say, "Don't eat." Eat, but don't eat more or don't eat less. That is our program. We don't say don't eat. We don't prohibit anything. We don't say, "No sex life." Yes. We don't say no. Yes, sex life, married sex life, regulated sex life.
So everything should be regulated. That is described, that is recommended in the Bhagavad-gītā. Yuktāhāra-vihārasya yogo bhavati duḥkha-hā. We are executing yoga. So yuktāhāra.
A man has served the family with heart and soul throughout the whole life, and when he is old man, if he asks permission from his wife, "My dear wife, now I have served so much. Let me take sannyāsa now," the wife will never give permission. She will say, "What you have done? I have got to do so many things. Your, this son is not yet settled up; this daughter is not yet married. How you can take sannyāsa? So you cannot do." So actually, he is the servant of the wife, but he is thinking, "I am master of the family." This is called māyā. And any religious system on the platform of this false understanding is also cheating.
Why this botheration? No, this is not botheration. There is pleasure. This is not botheration. Botheration means when I cannot maintain my wife, I cannot maintain children, then it is bother. Otherwise everyone wants that I live in a nice family home with my children, wife and good income, "I shall be very happy". For this reason one takes the risk marrying. There is pleasure there. Therefore God is never alone. He wants to enjoy pleasure with His sons, family members. We belong to God's family member, but because we are out from God's kingdom All these living entities that we are seeing within this material world, we cannot imagine how many living entities are there. How many universes are there. There are millions and trillions of universes, and each and every universe, there are millions and trillions of planets, and each planet there are millions and trillions of living entities. So all of them combined together is only a portion of God's children. The other children, they're living in the Kingdom of God.
That has also become impossible. The social system is coming to such degraded position. In Europe and America I have seen, very few men are family men, you see, because it is botheration. They think it is botheration or it is very heavy task. Actually, in their country it is very heavy task by so many laws and so many conventions. So they avoid marriage. So therefore, in the symptoms of Kali-yuga it has been stated, dākṣyaṁ kuṭumba-bharanam. Kuṭumba means family. If one can maintain his family, he is to be considered as very successful. No, he hasn't got to make dākṣa-yajña, or naradeva-yajña, or so many yajña. No. That he has no means. This is the position. Mandaḥ sumanda-matayo (SB 1.1.10). And if anyone wants to accept something for spiritual, that is sumanda-matayo, something bogus. He will accept something bogus which has no spiritual, I mean to say, reference. He will accept, "I have... I have got this religion."
So degrees of potency... Although it does not mean the Rāma is less potent. No. Rāma is also the same potency. But under circumstances He exhibits a partial potency, not full potency. But kṛṣṇa-līlā, you will find full potency.
Just like Rāma, Lord Rāmacandra. He married only one wife, Sītā. But Kṛṣṇa married 16,108. Now, if you question why Rāma is so moralist or whatever you like—He is sticking to one wife—and Kṛṣṇa is marrying sixteen thousand, that means you will... We say that God is omnipotent. That is a, I mean to say, qualification of God. So He is showing His omnipotency. That means why sixteen thousand? If He marries sixteen millions, sixteen billions, still, He is potent, full-fledged potency. So we cannot imagine even that how a person can marry sixteen thousand wives.
There are many instances, such thing, India still, but that is diminishing. Of course, if we say so many stories, it will take... But there are many examples. I have got personal experience of my youngest sister, you see. She is dead and gone. Her husband was a first-class debauchee. (break) ...she could understand, after her marriage. But she was so tolerant that when I used to go to her house, I used to enquire about my brother-in-law and she would reply, "Oh, he has gone just now out." She would never say that her husband never comes home. So in order to hide the secrecy... And later on I saw—this is our practical experience—that debauched husband become a faithful servant of my sister, simply by her toleration. This is practical experience I have seen. So the same thing, sometimes it is happen that a man, man has got a, I mean to say, spirit of controlling.
Ah, nivṛtti-mārga. So nivṛtti-mārga means the Vedas, they give us instruction, "All right. You have come to enjoy. Enjoy like this." The real purpose is that by such enjoyment he'll come to the point of liberation. Just like you want sex. "All right. You marry." This is Vedic injunction. You marry. But don't have sex daily, like cats and dogs. When you require child, then you have sex. That is Vedic injunction. And when the wife is pregnant, no more. These are Vedic injunctions. It's allowing to sex life, but under caution. Similarly, those who are meat-eaters: "Oh, I cannot do without eating meat." "All right. Eat meat." Vedic injunction. "You just, on amāvasyā, on the dark night, you just take a goat and go to the goddess Kālī and kill this animal. And the mantra is... The animal is given this mantra: 'My dear animal, you are giving your life for this man.
Material enjoyment means eating, sleeping, mating, and defending. That is material enjoyment. Eating, first-class eating, first-class sleeping, first-class sex, sexual intercourse, and first-class defending. So Vedic injunction is "All right, you want sex life?" "Yes, sir. For this purpose I have come here." "All right, you get your sex life by marriage, not like cats and dogs." This is called pravṛtti-mārga. He has got the intention, but he's being regulated so that one day he'll become nivṛtti-mārga. There are two ways, nivṛtti-mārga and pravṛtti-mārga. Pravṛtti-mārga means he has got intention, desire for material enjoyment. So he's regulated, "Do like this," so that he may come to the point of nivṛtti-mārga. Nivṛttis tu mahā-phalā, pravṛttir eṣā bhūtānām. Everyone has got these desires. That is pravṛtti. But when he stops this pravṛtti, that is his great achievement. Not that to increase. When he stops. That is great achievement.
"Do like this," so that he may come to the point of nivṛtti-mārga. Nivṛttis tu mahā-phalā, pravṛttir eṣā bhūtānām. Everyone has got these desires. That is pravṛtti. But when he stops this pravṛtti, that is his great achievement. Not that to increase. When he stops. That is great achievement.
So the Vedas, why one should follow? Just like Vedas says you marry. People will argue, "What is the difference of sex life, marrying or not marrying? Why it is Vedas?" No. They do not know the purpose of the Vedas. The purpose of Vedas is to gradually, to bring him to the point of nivṛtti. Nivṛtti, he has to make. When he has got a slight desire for material enjoyment, he'll have to accept another body. Therefore nivṛtti is required. But one cannot come to the point of nivṛtti all of a sudden. Therefore Vedic injunction is gradually bring him to the nivṛtti-mārga. Then?
This whole world is going on on the basis of sense gratification. A man and a woman, or a male or female, they develop this idea of sense gratification. Therefore as soon as a girl is grown up or a boy is grown up, the father, mother get them married, because the sense of sense gratification is very strong. Therefore the system is, Vedic system is, or any..., this human civilization system is, to get them married. So puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). So as soon as they are married, so tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ, that sense of sense gratification becomes too much tied up. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim. We have got already attraction. A man has got attraction for woman; woman has got attraction for man. Now, as soon as they are united, that attraction becomes more and more strong. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. Then ataḥ gṛha, as soon as they are married and united, they require one apartment, gṛha; ataḥ gṛha, kṣetra, then land for cultivating for producing foodstuff. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-suta, children; āpta, friends. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ, and money. Janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8).
And then next stage is to become like them. Then he approaches the spiritual master, "Kindly initiate me," bhajana-kriyā. And as soon as you take to this bhajana-kriyā, to devotional service, anartha-nivṛttiḥ syāt. Anartha, some unwanted things which you have practiced. What is that? Illicit sex. Or if you want sex, why don't you marry and live respectfully, husband and wife. Why illicit sex? This is unwanted, but we are practiced. But if you become devotee, you can give up this nonsense practice. Illicit sex, meat-eating. Why meat-eating? We have got so many nice preparation Sundays, rasagullā, halavā, purī, luci. Why shall I eat this nasty thing, rotten. It is slaughtered and kept for 3,000 years in the refrigerator (laughter), and this rotten thing is taken and eaten. So why should we take that. Why smoking? This nonsense. It is stated in every cigarette box it is injurious to health or something like, what is that?
He is eating of the same thing. He is also riding on the same car with the master. Rather, the driver is in the front, and the master is in the back. So in this way we are part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa. Just like in a family, why you take the risk of family? For enjoyment. I am alone. I can remain happy. Now, why you take the wife? I know if I marry then there will be children, there will be so many responsibilities. But why you accept? For happiness. Similarly, Kṛṣṇa is the supreme happy person. So we are part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa. To remain with Kṛṣṇa always... And He becomes happy, we are happy. This is our position.
These are bodily necessities of life. And they are called kāma. So kāma is allowed. Kṛṣṇa says in the Bhagavad-gītā, dharma-aviruddhaḥ kāmo 'smi: "Which is not against religious principles, that sort of kāma is allowed." But not for sense gratification. You can marry. You can beget children. That's all right. But you cannot enjoy sex for enjoyment, for simply enjoyment. No. That is not allowed. You eat, you sleep, you have sex life, you defend. Nothing is forbidden in the śāstra, but you must know the aim of your life. The aim of your life is tattva-jijñāsā. You should not forget that. Therefore the Vedic system is so organized that people may satisfy the bodily necessities of life, at the same time, he may progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness for understanding the Absolute Truth.
We are not creating cats and dogs and bluffing the society. We are actually creating real nationalists of your country, real scholars. We don't decry material civilization, no. We don't say that. Yesterday on the beach I was talking with Karandhara, "Why your country does not allow to marry more than one wife?" He said they think it is immoral. I do not know what is the ethics or psychology behind it, but giving opportunity for the girls to become prostitute is not immoral? To marry more than one wife is immoral? You see your leaders. This is the leaders. Why? Because there is no varṇāśrama-dharma, they do not know. The brāhmaṇas, the kṣatriyas, especially, they are allowed to marry more than one wife. At least every woman will get a chance to have a husband.
Bhajana-kriyā means chant Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra and observe the regulative principles. To observe the regulative principles means anartha-nivṛttiḥ syāt. Anartha means all rascal habits are immediately vanquished. Just like we say "No illicit sex." So this is only a rascal habit, illicit. "You can marry a boy or girl. If you like, you can have sex." No. They'll not agree. They will agree to that rascal habit, illicit sex. "You want sex? All right. Take a wife, take a husband." But no, they want illicit, without marriage. Married wife left aside, another illicit. This is anartha, rascaldom.
According to Vedic civilization, because man is very aggressive, so he's allowed to accept more than one wife. He's allowed. Generally, female population is greater than the male population. So the Vedic principle is that every girl must be married by the guardian, father. A father's duty is, as soon as girl is thirteen years old, fourteen years old, it is the duty of the father, or in the absence of father, it is the duty of elder brother to get her married. Some way or other, find out any husband. Yes. So if every girl has to be married, and if the female population is greater, then where to get so many husbands? Therefore it is very nice system that one man can marry more than one wife. That is natural.
So in Vedic system a husband can marry... Why others? Kṛṣṇa, He married 16,000 wives. But not like us. He was present in the house of 16,000 wives by 16,000 forms. Every, each and every wife had palatial building, establishment. Each wife had ten sons. Not that because He has married 16,000, He cannot meet all of them. No. So that is Kṛṣṇa; He is God. But even common man... Just like Kṛṣṇa's father, he had also sixteen wives. Kṛṣṇa is one wife's son. Vasudeva... Subhadrā is another wife's daughter. Balarāma is another wife's son. So in order to stop this rascaldom, that a human, I mean to say, man, he's allowed: "Marry them. Keep them nicely. Give them apartment. Give them nice food, nice dress, nice ornament. You enjoy."
Not only to become personally very much sexually inclined, if you associate with a person who is sexually inclined, then you will fall down in the hell. Yoṣitāṁ saṅgi-saṅgam.
So we should be very much careful about this. Married life sex is allowed. Nothing else. That is sinful. Kṛṣṇa says, dharmāviruddhaḥ kāmaḥ. Lust, lust which is sanctioned by religious principles... Sanctioned means... This is sanction: you can have sex life in married life, not otherwise. If you want, more wife. But not more husband. No, that is not allowed. More wife is allowed. A man can have more wives, but woman cannot have more husband. Of course, in special cases, that is another... But generally, this is the rule. This is Vedic civilization.
It is an anartha. But anyone who has learned this smoking, he cannot stop it. Anartha. The result of bhajana will be substantiated when anartha-nivṛttiḥ syāt, he's no more interested with some unwanted things. We have practiced so many unwanted things. The first of all—illicit sex, making so-called lusty affairs without any married bondage, illicit sex. This is anartha. Why? If you want sex, get yourself married according to śāstra. Then there is no hindrance. According to Vedic civilization, the, a girl must be married. But in every country I see the female population is more than the male population. Then how every girl should be married? Therefore in India more than one wife was allowed. Now it is not allowed. That is the Vedic injunction, kanyā-dāna. The father must get, find out a husband for his daughter. There are many histories, the Kulīna brāhmaṇa.
The gopīs and Kṛṣṇa were of the same age. Just like boys and girls play together. But girls become at the age of twelve, thirteen years, their sex desires become strong. But boys, they do not become sex desire so strong, unless they are badly associated. So neither it was possible that Kṛṣṇa would marry so many girlfriends. But they wanted Kṛṣṇa as husband, all of them. Therefore Kṛṣṇa fulfilled their desire in the vastra-haraṇa. Because a woman can become naked only before husband. That is Vedic. So Kṛṣṇa somehow or other made them naked so that... He declared that "You wanted Me as husband. So much, that's all." So people misunderstand Kṛṣṇa. Unless understood through authoritative sources, Kṛṣṇa is misunderstood. But He is the dhīra. He is not adhīra. He is not like ordinary man. Dhīra.
Balavān indriya-grāmaḥ. It is prohibited. What to speak of others. Therefore, the common moral teachings and the Vedic civilization is to accept any woman except his own wife as mother. Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu. Para-dāreṣu. Everyone is supposed to be married. Dāra means wife. Para-dāreṣu, other's wife. It doesn't matter if she is younger or older, but she should be treated as mother. Therefore it is the system in Vedic culture, as soon as one sees another woman, she (he) addresses her, "mother," Mātājī. Immediately, "mother." That makes the relationship. The woman treats the unknown man as son, and the unknown man treats the unknown woman as mother. This is Vedic civilization. So we should be very careful. In our society, you are all Godbrothers, Godsisters. Or those who are married, they are like mothers. So you should be very careful.
Woman is to follow the husband. That's all. The husband will give instruction to the wife. There is no such thing as the girl should go to school to take brahmacārī-āśrama or go to spiritual master to take instruction. That is not Vedic system. Vedic system is a man is fully instructed, and woman, girl, must be married to a man. Even the man may have many wives, polygamy, still, every woman should be married. And she would get instruction from the husband. This is Vedic system. Woman is not allowed to go to school, college, or to the spiritual master. But husband and wife, they can be initiated. That is Vedic system.
So dhīrāṇāṁ vartma. Because people must be first of all gentle. Then talk of Kṛṣṇa and God consciousness. If he is animal, what he can understand? This is Vedic system. Dhīrāṇām. Dhīra means must be gentle, perfectly gentle. Must address all woman as "mother." Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu para-dravyeṣu loṣṭravat.
So this refers to King Pṛthu, Mahārāja Pṛthu. So his father's name was King Veṇa. And his father's name was... I don't remember. Perhaps Aṅga, like that. So the Veṇa's father married one woman. She was the daughter of Death, means the family was not very good. So as a result of this marriage, a son was born, whose name was Veṇa, who came out to be first-class rogue. So the father of Veṇa wanted to reform him in so many ways, but he could not. The son was not to be corrected. So the father became disgusted, and one day he left home without any knowledge of the family members or the officers and king. He left.
Prabhupāda: Huh? Not very much. All right.
Devotee: She knows Japanese; very little English. She comes from Tokyo.
Prabhupāda: Oh. Why she does not go to take charge of Tokyo branch? (laughter) Are you willing? You are not married? You are married or not?
Vasumi: Yes, I am married.
Prabhupāda: That's all right. Where is your husband? Oh. You know Japanese language?
Satyadeva: Just a little, Prabhupāda.
Prabhupāda: That's all right. So what are the rules and regulation? Rules and regulation? What are the rules and regulation? (Vasumi answers) What is her name?
"The father who dies a debtor, he is an enemy." Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatruḥ. Ṛṇa means debts. Kartā means one who has committed so many debts and dies. A father... Instead of enjoying father's property, he has to pay the father's debts. So therefore that father is called enemy. Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī. "And mother, if she marries for the second time, she is enemy." Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī, rūpavatī bhāryāḥ śatruḥ. "And very beautiful wife, she is enemy." And putraḥ śatrur apaṇḍitaḥ. "And if the son is a fool, rascal, he is enemy." Four kinds of enemy in the family.
So I think I have spoken about my own life. You know that I was a married man. So after being married, I did not like my wife. (laughter) Somehow or other, I did not like. I must say she is very faithful, very everything... Everyone praised. But I did not like, somehow or other. So I was preparing for next marriage. Next marriage. Because in India, at that time it was allowed, a man can marry more than one wife. Now the law is there. So my father, he was a saintly person. So he called me one day and said, "My dear boy, you are trying to marry again. I request you don't do that. You do not like your wife. That is a great fortune for you." (laughter) So I gave up that idea of marrying. Yes. So now I am realizing my father's blessing, yes, that if I would have been too much attached to my wife, then I could not have come to this position. That's a fact. So by ethical point of view, from spiritual point of view, to become too much attached to wife is an impediment for spiritual advancement.
So this Parāśara actually was not husband of Satyavatī. When Satyavatī was not married, Parāśara gave birth to Vyāsadeva. Later on Satyavatī became the wife of Mahārāja Śantanu, father of Bhīṣmadeva. This Satyavatī was the daughter of a fisherman. She was neither born of a brāhmaṇa father or kṣatriya father. So formerly, a higher-caste man could accept a girl born of lower caste, but a lower-caste man could not accept a girl born of higher caste. That was the system. Because in the śāstra it is... Ordinary, I mean to say, instructive śāstra.
Nīcād apy uttamā vidyā strī-ratnaṁ duṣkulād api. Strī-ratnam. If a girl is very qualified, beautiful, even she is born of a low family, you can accept her. This is the injunction of the śāstras.
So Satyavatī happened to be a daughter of a fisherwoman, and, but she was very qualified, beautiful. So before her marriage, Vyāsadeva was born out of her womb. It is not that..., that before marriage girls were not giving birth to child. It was there, the society. But the society was so elevated that this was not done commonly. In extraordinary cases. So Satyavatī gave birth to Vyāsadeva, such a son, Vyāsadeva, incarnation of God. Vyāsadeva is not ordinary being.
Then again, Vyāsadeva was born, but nobody could understand. She remained a virgin girl by the blessings of Parāśara Muni. Then she was again attractive to Mahārāja Śantanu. Mahārāja Śantanu became attracted by Satyavatī, and he wanted to marry. But Mahārāja Śantanu had his son. So her father objected. So king proposed to the fisherman that "I want to marry your girl." So the father said, "No, no, I cannot allow my girl to marry with you because you are already married. You have got your son, elderly son, Bhīṣmadeva." So he was a little sorry, Śantanu Mahārāja.
The son could understand that "The father is sorry because he was refused the hand of the girl Satyavatī." So he approached father. Not father. He approached the father of Satyavatī, that "Why you are refusing my father?" "No. You are present. How can I offer my daughter?" "No. Even if I am present..." Because the law is the eldest son will be enthroned after the death of the father.
So Bhīṣmadeva promised that "I will not accept the throne. The child born of Satyavatī, he will accept, he will be given the throne. You give your daughter to my father." He still refused. He still, "Well, our son may be king, but then again, your son will become the king." In this way, he was hesitating. So Bhīṣmadeva immediately promised that "I shall never marry. Don't hesitate." So in this way he induced the fisherman to give his daughter to his father.
So father could understand that "My son is so great that he wanted to satisfy. I wanted this girl, and he has managed." So he gave him a benediction to Bhīṣmadeva, "My dear son, you are so benevolent, so magnanimous. So I give you one benediction that you'll not die unless you desire to die. Unless you fix up your mind, 'Now I shall die,' you'll never die. You remain a very strong brahmacārī." So Bhīṣma remained very strong brahmacārī. There is another incidence of Bhīṣmadeva's life, that Pāṇḍu-vaṁśa. So one girl was attracted.
So one girl was attracted. So she was conquered. So the girl thought that "I will be able to marry Bhīṣmadeva," but when she came at home, Bhīṣmadeva said, "No, you have been conquered to be married with my brother. I am brahmacārī. I cannot marry you." So the girl said that "You have kidnapped me, conquered me. You must marry." So "No, I shall not marry." Then the girl approached to his spiritual master, this Jamadagni, Bhṛgupati, that "This boy he has conquered me. Still, he is not marrying me." So Jamadagni said, "Bhīṣma, you must marry this girl." Bhīṣmadeva said, "No. I have promised to my father never to marry. I cannot marry." Then Jamadagni said, "If you don't marry, then I will force you to marry." So there was fight between Bhīṣmadeva, spiritual master and... (laughter) So the spiritual master became defeated. (laughter) Then he gave his blessings. "All right, you remain brahmacārī."
What can be done? (laughter)
So therefore, woman is advised by the Manu-saṁhitā, they should remain under the intelligent man, not declare freedom. That will be their life nice. Therefore it is advised that until one is married with an intelligent husband, she must remain under the control of her father. Still in India, until a girl is married, she cannot move freely. Where is our Śyāmasundara? You know, what happened about that Sharma girls. Two girls in Nairobi, they wanted to join our society. So Brahmānanda, as other girls are joining, he welcomed, but it created a havoc to the family of the girl. They went here and there. "Oh, the girl has gone out of home. There will be no marriage." That's a fact. In India still, in respectable family, if a young girl goes out of home for three days, it will be difficult, or she will not be married. So this still I saw in Nairobi.
There will be no marriage." That's a fact. In India still, in respectable family, if a young girl goes out of home for three days, it will be difficult, or she will not be married. So this still I saw in Nairobi.
So anyway the system is unless one is married, a girl, she must remain under the control of the parents. Therefore it is the parents' duty to see that the girl is married to a suitable boy. That is the duty. When the girl is married, then parent's duty is finished. Not by the age. Up to this point. So during young time, say, up to, say, forty years, she should remain under the husband. And when there are grown-up children, she should remain... Just like that Mrs. Sharma. (?) She is under the care of her elderly sons. So Manu-saṁhitā says that na strī svātantryam arhati. Woman should not be given independence. She must remain... Just like... That is not bad. Just like a child remains under the control of the parents.
And still, they are very happy. Just like you see Kuntī. Kuntī was widow, but she was very qualified woman, so many ways. But still, she remained under the control of the five boys, five children, Pāṇḍavas. Kuntī also gave birth to a child before her marriage. That is Karṇa. That is Karṇa. So it was not very common affair, and in extraordinary cases it so happened.
So now, in this age, people are not very intelligent. They are claiming, "We are advancing in science. The brain has advanced and so on, so on." Formerly there was animal brain. The Darwin's theory: "Now the brain has evolved." No. Actually, they are degrading. They are degrading. Formerly the brain was very sharp. Otherwise why it is said, dṛṣṭvā puṁso 'lpa-medhasaḥ? The opposite word of this alpa-medhasa is su-medhasa. Alpa means less, and su means very nice. So su-medhasa.
What you will know? What knowledge we have got we can understand what is God? But we can see by God's activities.
When Kṛṣṇa appeared, His all activities were uncommon activities. So far as a human being, He was not human being, but He was playing as human being. The human being marries. So His marrying is also wonderful. He married 16,108 wives. This is uncommon. This is uncommon. Nobody can marry like that. Not only marrying. Mussulman nawabs, they used to marry also many wives. Not many wives. One nawab was there, he married 160 wives. They have got in Lucknow... When you go to India, you will see. That is now fallen. That all the wives of the nawab was living... That's a... Now it has been turned into a big park. There are small houses. So he could not reach all the wives every day or every night.
So these families, dynasties, are very, very old. Every... According to Vedic system, any family—brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, those who are higher caste—they must give at least seven generations account. Otherwise he is not a respectable family. Seven generations. His father, his father, his father, his father, his father, like that. When there is marriage, then there is check corroboration. The bride's party and the bridegrooms party, they should narrate their seventh generation. If within their seventh generation it, what is called, collide, becomes the one man, then there will be no marriage, because it becomes the same family. One cannot marry in the same family. He must pick up another family. Otherwise one could marry his own sister. No. That is not possible.
So here it is explained that kalāḥ sarve harer eva. Everyone is expansion from Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. But those who are prominent, they are called prajāpatis. Prajāpatis means directly expanding. These Kumāras, they were also offered to become prajāpati, but they refused their father's request. So "We are not going to marry and beget children." So Brahmā was angry. So when he was angry, then Lord Śiva, Rudra, from his eyes generated. In higher circle the generation can be produced from any part of the body. But we cannot understand. We simply know one part wherefrom the generation comes. No. In higher circle... Just like many living entities came out from Brahmā's nostril, eyes, ear. Just like Lord Brahmā himself came out from the navel of Viṣṇu. This requires specific power. Not that we have got some stereotyped ideas. Therefore we sometimes find difficulty to understand the description of the Vedas and the Purāṇas. They do not believe.
This is called demonic. Demon means for their own sense satisfaction, they are prepared to do anything wrong. Just like this Kaṁsa. Kaṁsa, the elder brother of Kṛṣṇa's mother, and as soon as he heard an omen from the sky that "You rascal Kaṁsa, you are taking your brother and sis..., brother-in-law and sister in your chariot to their home in their marriage ceremony, but you rascal do not know this sister's son will kill you." "Oh, my sister's son will kill me?" Immediately caught up sister: "Finish my sister." Vasudeva saw. "What nonsense you are doing? You are such a big king. And your sister, younger sister, and she is married in this auspicious moment. Why you are killing?" "No, she is the cause of my death." Then, "Your sister is not the cause of your death. Her son. That's all right. But I promise, all the sons will be delivered to you." Because it is the husband's duty to give protection. So someway or other, he saved the situation.
So this is the demon. He did not consider that "Here is my poor, younger sister. She's just now married. In jubilation she's going at her husband's home. How auspicious ceremony." And he was personally driving the chariot. But as soon as he heard that "Oh, there is danger from my sister," he did not care anything, no relationship, no ceremony, no auspicity, nothing. This is demon. Demon means for his self-interest, he can do anything nons..., nonsense. That is demon. And demigod means he'll consider thrice before doing anything. Just like Arjuna. Arjuna was insulted in so many ways by the other party, his cousin-brothers. His kingdom was taken. They were sent to forest for thirteen years. His wife was insulted. So many things. But still, he was considering, "Whether I shall kill my kinsmen?
Whether I shall fight and kill them? Kṛṣṇa, I don't wish to kill them. Let them enjoy." This is demigod, In spite of the other party, aggressor in so many ways, he was thinking. And here you see Kaṁsa, simply for the news that in future his sister's son will kill him, immediately he was prepared to kill his sister. And in the marriage ceremony. This is the distinction between demigod and demon. Just try to understand. A demon has no consideration.
The gopīs. The gopīs, they were wives, householder's wife, sister, daughter. So they went at dead of night to dance with Kṛṣṇa. This is sinful according to Vedic injunction. No young girl can go to any young boy without being married. That is Vedic injunction. So practically it was sinful. And... But because it was with Kṛṣṇa, in connection with Kṛṣṇa, they went to dance with Kṛṣṇa, the gopīs are worshiped more than any devotee in the world. Caitanya Mahāprabhu... Gopīs, exalted. Ramyā kacid upāsanā vraja-vadhū-vargeṇā yā kalpitā. So actually, they did sinful acts, action, by leaving their father, brother or husband and went to Kṛṣṇa at dead of night. They were all young girls. That is, according to Vedic injunction that is sinful. But they are worshiped.
And when I was in New York, one old lady, she used to come to my class. Not in Second Avenue. When I first started in 72nd Street. So she had a son. So I asked, "Why don't you get your son married?" "Oh, if he can maintain a wife, I have no objection." Just to maintain a wife is a great job in this age. Dākṣyaṁ kuṭumba-bharaṇam. And still we are very much proud that we are advancing. Even a bird maintains a wife, even a beast maintains wife. And human being hesitates to maintain a wife? You see? And they are advanced in civilization? Hm? It is a very horrible age.
These, they are natural instincts. They can be... Automatically they will be done. There is no question of... Then what is the use of book? Book is for restricting. That they do not know. When Vyāsadeva recommends that you must have sex life by marriage, that means restriction. That means restriction. You cannot have sex life here and there unrestrictedly. You have got one wife or one husband, and that is also restricted: only for begetting child you can have sex life. So many things. The whole idea is restriction. Not that "Because I have got a wife it is a machine for sex life." No, no. A marriage mean, that does not mean. Marriage does not mean like that. It is restriction. The whole Vedic civilization is to bring men to the transcendental platform by restricting all his nonsense habits to nil. But not all of a sudden. Gradually, according to the quality. Similarly, those who are addicted to flesh eating, meat-eating: "All right." Vedic literature says, "All right.
She revolted. She was always trying to plead, "Why this restriction? Why this restriction?" So I had to tell, "If you don't like the restriction, then go away. You don't associate with us." What can be done? So they do not want restriction. That is natural tendency. But these śāstras are meant for restriction. Just like marriage is restriction of sex life. And offering sacrifice before goddess Kālī, that is also a restriction of meat-eating. You cannot eat meat by purchasing from the slaughterhouse. Oh, that is not recommended. If you want to eat meat, then you just sacrifice one goat. Not, I mean to say, cows. No. Goat. Any useless animal. "All right. You take." Goat is recommended to be sacrificed. So you can take. And in India the meat-eating or flesh eating is not restricted. But not the useful animal, cow, the most useful animal, the cow.
You can go on with you, with it," then where is the reformation? There is no question of... He, he's already addicted. So it is encouragement. So similarly, in the dharma-śāstra... Just like in Mahābhārata there is... (aside:) Where is that "cut cut" noise? Don't make that sound. Just like in marriage ceremony. Marriage ceremony... Of course, in your country, the marriage ceremony is different. In India still, the people spend as much as possible in the marriage ceremony, millions of dollars. If one man is rich, he'll spend for his son's marriage or daughter's marriage. That is a great credit. "Oh, this man is very rich man. He's spending so much money." So there are so many religious performances, ritualistic performances. You have to spend money. So you must find out so many performances. So they have all these in the śāstras.
So Nārada Muni says that "What is this, marriage ceremony? The marriage ceremony is to allow the boy and the girl for legitimate sex life. That's all. So that propensity he has already got. And what is the use of making such propaganda and spending so much money?" Very practical proposition. But in the śāstras there are. Similarly, drinking or meat-eating. According to Vedic śāstra, meat-eating is not allowed by purchasing from the slaughterhouse. No. They... There is motive. The marriage ceremony or the meat-eating, the so much ritualistic performances, there is motive. What is that motive? Motive is restriction. Just like the same example, marriage: the real idea is to restrict the boy and the girl to one woman and one man. That is the idea, main idea. If he's not married, then he will be just like cats and dogs. So idea is very good. But Nārada Muni says, "After all, you're coming to the point of sex life. So why so much propaganda?"
It is called dark moon, yes. So that Kālī-pūjā is recommended on the dark moon day. The... That is one day in a month. Similarly, according to marriage life, the sex life is also allowed one day in a month. The whole thing is restriction. Similarly, drinking wine also, there is Devī-pūjā. That is also once in a year or something like that. The whole point is restriction. But after all, this is drinking and mating and meat-eating.
So Nārada Muni says that "You have described these things for which a man has got natural propensity in a religious form. So it is jugupsitam. This is most abominable." Just see. Even the restricted system of marriage, drinking and meat-eating, described in the śāstra, that is also condemned by Nārada. Jugupsitam. Jugupsitaṁ dharma-kṛte 'nuśāsataḥ: "You are the leader of the śāstras. You are writing śāstras. People will follow you." Just like in Vedic, Vedas, there is recommendation of sacri..., in the sacrifice, animal-killing, but that animal-killing is not killing. This... There was a discussion between Lord Caitanya and Chand Kazi, the Muhammadan magistrate. That story perhaps you know, that He started civil disobedience movement. And the brāhmaṇas of Navadvīpa, they complained to the Muhammadan ma...
Simply official understanding of Kṛṣṇa—"God is great" or "Kṛṣṇa is all-powerful"—but my attention is only how to improve my material condition... So this picture was given in our Back to Godhead. Perhaps you all remember that a bridegroom party was to go to the bride's home. In India the marriage party, bridegroom party, the bride, his father, his relatives, go with the bride, bridegroom, to the bride's home, and the marriage ceremony takes place there in the presence of all kinds of relatives. That is the system. So the marriage was to take place in a different village some miles away, and in Bengal the land is full of rivers. The rivers are considered to be high roads. So it was settled that the bridegroom's party will start in the evening before the marriage day and reach there in the morning and rest whole day, and in the evening the marriage will take place.
One of their family members was our Godbrother. Nandi family. That Nandi family still, they have got four hundred, five hundred men to eat daily. A big, aristocratic family. And their family's regulation is as soon as one son or daughter is born, five thousand rupees deposited in the bank, and at the time of his marriage, that five thousand rupees with interest, he can take it. Otherwise there is no more share in the capital. And everyone who lives in the family, he gets eating and shelter. This is their... But the original, I mean to say, establisher of this family, Nandi, he started his business with a red, a dead rat, or mouse.
And second point is that he was not born in a very high-grade family, aristocratic family, rich family. No. Maidservant's son. He did not give any information of his father also. Dāsyāḥ. Dāsyāḥ means there is no certainty who is father. Dāsī. Dāsī-putra. The... Formerly, big, big men, especially kṣatriyas... Just like when Vasudeva was married with Devakī, so with Devakī many hundreds maidservants were given, with Vasudeva. That is the system, especially among the kṣatriyas. When a kṣatriya king is married, then along with the queen, many girlfriends of the queen, they are also taken away. This is also nice solution of social problem. Yes. Because female population is always greater than the male population. And... Therefore, the royal order, they would accept all these girls as associates. And sometimes they would be pregnant, and there will be son. They were called dāsī-putra. They were not neglected. They were equally taken care of. But they were not heir to the throne. Only the married wife's son... Just like Vidura.
"First of all, what is my relationship with God." That is called sambandha. Just like first of all a boy or a girl is to be married. So... That is the Vedic system. The father, mother, selects. That is called sambandha. When they fixed up that "This boy will be married with that girl," that is called sambandha. So relationship. Then when the sambandha is established by marriage, when the boy or girl is married, then the sambandha is done. "Now... Now the boy and the girl may remain separately in their respective homes." No. That is abhidheya. Abhidheya. When they are united by the marriage there must be dealings between them. That is called abhidheya. Abhidheya. Abhidheya means not that "Our now marriage ceremony, relationship is established.
Now you Mr. such and such, you go home, I go home." No. There must be actual activities. The wife should take care of serving the husband, and the husband should take care of the wife. Then the relationship... Why this relationship? Why these are activities? Now, there is prayojana.
What is that prayojana? To get son. Marriage means to get son. That is prayojana. Putrāyate kriyate bhāryāḥ. Bhāryā means wife. One has to accept a bhāryā, a wife, why? Putrāyate. For the matter of getting a son. Why? Why there is necessity of getting a son? Putra-piṇḍa-prayojanam. This is Vedic civilization. Putra. Putra means Pun-nāmno narakād yasmāt trāyate iti putra. Pu-tra. Pu means pun-nāmno narakāt. There is a hell which is called put. So from that hellish condition, one who delivers, trāyate iti tra, therefore he is called putra. This is... Every Sanskrit word has got meaning, root meaning. Putra. Putra-piṇḍa-prayojanam. Putra is required. Why?
One... First of all he must become brahmacārī, a brāhmaṇa, son of a brāhmaṇa. Then, when he's fully trained up, he should become a gṛhastha. Not should, but if he likes. Then... Otherwise, sometimes you will find naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī. Never... Just like my Guru Mahārāja was. He never married. Naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī. So brahmacārī, gṛhastha, then not to stuck up with the family affairs up to the end of death. No. At a certain stage, after fifty years, he must give up. That is called vānaprastha. And then, after being trained up in vānaprastha very nicely, he takes sannyāsa. This is brāhmaṇa's..., four āśrama. And for the kṣatriya, up to vānaprastha. Up to vānaprastha. Just like Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira and all the brothers, they left home, but the wife was there. That is called vānaprastha. They did not take sannyāsa. Kṣatriya. Up to vānaprastha. Vaiśyas. No vānaprastha, no sannyāsa.
Up to gṛhastha. Brahmacārī... Brahmacārī is compulsory for the dvija. Because there is the training. And for the śūdra there is no brahmacārī. Only gṛhastha, married. Otherwise, life will be very irregular. So in this way varṇāśrama. So there are duties.
Therefore it is said, ataḥ pumbhir dvija-śreṣṭhā varṇāśrama-vibhāgaśaḥ. So you may be staying in any āśrama or any varṇa, it does not matter. But you should see whether your life is perfect. If you don't see... Otherwise, śrama eva hi kevalam. If you don't see, "How my life is being perfected," then... Dharmaḥ svanuṣṭhitaḥ puṁsāṁ viṣvaksena-kathāsu yaḥ, notpādayet... (SB 1.2.8). If he does not awaken his dormant Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then śrama eva hi kevalam. Simply.
He has given the Bhagavad-gītā. Apart from other instructions, the Bhagavad-gītā is there. Who has given such wise instruction throughout the whole world, throughout the whole universe? Nobody has given. God means the wisest, the richest, the most powerful, the most beautiful. So He was so beautiful that 16,108 very, very beautiful women... And this is married. And unmarried, many millions, they were attracted by Kṛṣṇa, the most beautiful. Śyāmasundara. His name is sundara, very beautiful. Although śyāma, blackish, still He's so attractive. Kandarpa-koṭi-kamanīya-viśeṣa-śobham (Bs. 5.30). Kandarpa-koṭi, He's so beautiful that He can surpass in His beauty the Cupids, millions and millions of Cupids. His name is Madana-mohana. Madana-mohana, Madana is Cupid. Cupid enchants everyone, but he is enchanted by Kṛṣṇa. Therefore His name is Madana-mohana.
He'll eat meat, and for this eating meat you have to maintain thousands and thousands of, what is called, organized slaughterhouse. And you have to kill. Killing means he's being implicated in sinful activities. Anartha, unnecessary. So we restrict this. Sex life is all right, required. Be a gentleman, get yourself married, live husband and wife peacefully. Have two and three children. Now they're making forcefully that you cannot have more than two children-sterilize. This is rascaldom. Teach him that he'll not have sex life more than twice or thrice in life. But no. Tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ (SB 7.9.45). The sex life is so strong that one has produced one child and he has suffered... The child has to be taken at night, it is crying, and then you have to give him milk, and so on, so on, so on. He has suffered, but he has no sense, "Why again child?" The answer, tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ.
Under the circumstances the father becomes the enemy. So therefore the Cāṇakya Paṇḍita's enunciation, ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatruḥ. And mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī. And if the mother, either she becomes prostitute or marries for the second time in the presence of elderly children, she is enemy. Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī. And Cāṇakya Paṇḍita had very bad experience with his wife. So he says, rūpavatī bhāryā śatruḥ: "If the wife is very beautiful, she is enemy." And putraḥ śatrur apaṇḍitaḥ: "And if the son is a rascal, no education, he is enemy." So these are the family enemies.
'Please excuse my husband.' " Just like Nala-Damayantī. Not... What is that? Sāvitrī-Satyavān. The Sāvitrī saved her husband from the hands of Yamarāja. That's a long story. It will take much time. So therefore "I have got such a nice chaste wife, she will save me from the Yamarāja hands." Then I can speak shortly that Sāvitrī-Satyavān... Satyavān was to die on the marriage day. But Sāvitrī was attached to Satyavān, so her father, mother said that "You don't marry this boy. He'll die on the very day of his marriage." So love is blind. She said, "Still I shall marry him." So she married, and the husband died. So Yamarāja came. So she pleased the Yamarāja, and Yamarāja, being pleased, said, "My dear girl, you'll have a very good son"—because every girl expects some son. So Yamarāja gave her the benediction that "You will have very nice son." Then the husband was dead... No, she prayed for a good son, yes. And Yamarāja gave her benediction, "Yes, you'll have good son."
They're very respectful at home. The sons offer their highest respect to the mother. The husband gives the topmost protection to the wife." This is the example. Just like Lord Rāmacandra. Lord Rāmacandra is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, but Rāvaṇa took Sītā from His protection. Rāmacandra could marry many millions of Sītās, or He could create many millions of Sītā, but He's showing the example that it is the husband's duty to give protection to the wife at any cost. And He did it. For one woman He killed the whole Rāvaṇa's dynasty. This is husband's duty. So protection, not slave. It is protection. The husband should give to the wife the topmost protection, and the wife should be so faithful to the husband that... Sītā-devī, she was king's daughter, Videha-rāja. She was the daughter... She was not a poor man's daughter.
So modern civilization is not strictly following the Vedic injunction. Therefore, especially I have seen in the Western countries, there is no home practically. There is no homely happiness, because women are allowed to mix freely and there is no protection. They are not married, there is no husband. The father also does not take care. As soon as the girl becomes fifteen, sixteen years, she goes away. Therefore I have practically seen there is no home, there is no peace in the Western countries. These are very important things, that soft-hearted woman, vāma-svabhāvā, they should be given protection. They should be trained up how to become faithful wife, affectionate mother. Then the home will be very happy, and without happiness we cannot make any spiritual progress. We must be peaceful.
So the guru and the guru's family, they do not require to be chastised or punished. It has been misused in so many ways. In Bengal... Just like they say nityānanda-vaṁśa. Coming from Nityānanda. So Nityānanda had one son, Vīrabhadra. But Vīrabhadra did not marry. So there is no dynasty by semina. By nityānanda-vaṁśa means by disciplic succession. So sometimes extra advantage was taken as nityānanda-vaṁśa. But people have got respect for such thing, dynasty. So not only it is now, from time immemorial, guru, guru's dynasty... Even in Mohammedan religion there is such sentiment, Mohammed and his dynasty, Hussain, they are taken very respectfully. So considering all points, the guru's respect must be maintained. This is the sum and substance of the instruction. But there is other opposite instruction also.
That's all." He said, "I know Kṛṣṇa is the son of Yaśodāmāyi, Yaśodānandana. Kṛṣṇa means the boy who sucked the breast of Mother Yaśodā. I know that."
So here also, nanda, nanda-nandanāya... He (she) says, nanda-gopa-kumārāya (SB 1.8.21). Kumāra. Kumāra means "who is not married." So Kṛṣṇa remained in Vṛndāvana up to sixteen years. Therefore He remained always kumāra, Nanda-kumāra, Nanda-nandana. Here it is explicitly said, Nanda-gopa. And who was Nanda? That is also explained. Nanda means that leader of the cowherds men or he was king, Nanda Mahārāja. King does not mean always one has to become a king of very big kingdom. No. Anyone who possesses... Still in India, anyone who possesses some land, he is called king, rāja. He is called rāja, the zamindar, one who possesses some land, in..., especially in the up-country. So Nanda Mahārāja, because he possessed some land... He was well-to-do, rich man. Because... (aside:)
It is the duty of the husband to give protection. "So my dear brother-in-law, why you are envious to your sister? After all, your sister will not kill you. Her son will kill you. That is the problem. So I shall deliver all the sons to you, then you can do whatever you like. Why you are killing this innocent girl, newly married? She is your younger sister, just like your daughter. You should give her protection. What you are doing this?"
So Kaṁsa became pacified. He believed in the words of Vasudeva, that he'll deliver all the sons, "And if you like, can kill." He thought, "Let me save the present situation. After all, later on, mean, Kaṁsa gets a nephew; he may forget this enviousness." But he's never, never to forget.
Draupadī's real purpose was to accept Arjuna as her husband. But she knew that Karṇa is there. If Karṇa competes, then Arjuna will not be able to succeed. Therefore she said that "In this competition, except the kṣatriyas, nobody can compete." That means Karṇa at that time was not known that he was a kṣatriya. He was the son of Kuntī before her marriage. So people did not know. It was secret. So Karṇa was maintained by a carpenter. Therefore he was known as a śūdra. So Draupadī took advantage of this and said that "I do not wish that any carpenter shall come here and compete. I don't want that." So Karṇa was not allowed. So Karṇa took it as great insult.
So that was also happened. For twelve years. And the condition was: after twelve years, one year they should remain incognito. If they are detected that "They are living in such and such place," then again twelve years. So hard condition. And that also performed. In that incognito condition they married Draupadī. Arjuna was at that time in a incognito. He went there as a brāhmaṇa, in the dress of a brāhmaṇa. Because if he went there in the dress of a kṣatriya they would be detected again. "Oh, here is Arjuna." Then again they will have to go again for twelve years.
That also within the womb of his mother. And in mature time, when Parīkṣit Mahārāja came out, the grandfathers only (were) there. Parīkṣit Mahārāja's father was sixteen years old, and he went to fight. Seven big, big commanders killed him, seven. He was so great fighter, Arjuna's son. Subhadrā's son. This Subhadrā is here. The Subhadrā is sister of Kṛṣṇa. She was married to Arjuna, and she got only one child, this Parīkṣit Mahārāja. So as soon as Parīkṣit Mahārāja became grown up, the whole estate was entrusted to him, and all the Pāṇḍavas left home and went to Himalayas. This is the history of Mahābhārata.
Thank you very much. Hare Kṛṣṇa. (end)
So Karṇa is not a kṣatriya." Karṇa's history is that Karṇa is the pre-marriage son of Kuntī. Before her being married, she was born of Kuntī from the ear. Therefore his name is Karṇa. But still, out of social fear, Kuntī did not kill the child. Nowadays they kill. But he floated the child on a boat, and the boat was let loose, go anywhere. So one carpenter collected Karṇa and raised him. But he was kṣatriya. He was Kuntī's son, born by sun, sun-god, Sūrya. So Kuntī had the power of calling. He got the benediction from Durvāsā. Durvāsā gave her the benediction that "You can call any demigod, and at once he will come by this mantra." So when Kuntī was young, not married, so Durvāsā became the guest of her father, and she served Durvāsā Muni very nicely, attending as maidservant. Although she was king's daughter, but because Durvāsā was guest, he was taken care of very nicely.
So ataḥ gṛha. As soon as a man and woman or a male-female, either bird, beast or human being or demigods, everyone... Then he requires home, gṛha, then land to produce food, gṛha-kṣetra, then children. Gṛha-kṣetra. Because when a man is married, the social life, if he has no children, that is means vacant home. Putra-hīnaṁ gṛhaṁ śūnyam. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has said, avidyaṁ jīvanaṁ śūnyam: "One who is not educated, his life is zero." Avidyaṁ jīvanaṁ śūnyam. And diśaḥ śūnyā abāndhavāḥ: "And if you want to go to some foreign place, if that place is not a holy place..." Because according to Vedic system, they go on touring to see holy places, tīrtha-sthāna, or to a friend's house. "So if you are going to some foreign countries, if there is no friend and no devatā, then it is useless." Diśaḥ śūnyā abāndhavāḥ. Or putra-hīnaṁ gṛhaṁ śūnyam: "You are married, but you have no children. That is also vacant, zero." Putra-hīnaṁ gṛhaṁ śūnyam.
That is also vacant, zero." Putra-hīnaṁ gṛhaṁ śūnyam. Sarva-śūnyā daridratā: "But if you are poor, then everything is zero." Your vidyā is zero. Your home is zero. And your friend is zero because nobody will care you.
So real point is putram. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-suta. Suta means putra. And according to... (aside about birds?) Drive them. So required, married life requires children. Otherwise, it is vacant. So Bhāgavata says that ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam (SB 5.5.8), that "I possess..." In another place it is said that we are thinking very secure: "I have got a nice body, stout and strong. I take daily exercise in the morning and I keep myself fit." Ataḥ... That verse is...? The...? Deha-kalatrādi. "I have got good wife..." Sainya means ātma-sainya, su, asatsu, ātmā...
This is bewildering." Therefore ordinary man cannot believe. "How God can become ordinary person like...?" Kṛṣṇa is playing. Although He was not playing ordinary person. He was playing as God. Wherever there was necessity...
Just like He married 16,000 wives. When He married He was one, and 16,000 girls offered the surrender to Kṛṣṇa that: "We are now kidnapped. If we go home, nobody will marry us." That is a strict Vedic system. If an unmarried girls goes out of home even for one night, nobody will marry her. Still it is going on. Nobody will marry her. So this is the old system. All the 16,000 girls who were kidnapped by Bhaumāsura... So they prayed to Kṛṣṇa and Kṛṣṇa came, killed the Bhaumāsura, delivered all the girls. So when Kṛṣṇa asked them: "Now you can safely go to your father's house," they replied: "Sir, if we go back to our father's house, what will be our fate? Nobody will marry us. Because this man, this rākṣasa, they kidnapped us."
Now, when they were brought at home, not that 16,000 wives will have to wait for 16,000 nights to meet Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa expanded Himself into 16,000 forms, and constructed 16,000 palaces, and establishment, on each palace... The description is there in the... That is Bhagavān. So those rascals, they cannot understand. They criticize Kṛṣṇa, that: "He was very lusty. He married 16,000 wives." Even if He's lusty, He's unlimitedly lusty. Because He's unlimited. Why 16,000? If He would marry 16,000,000s of wives still it is imperfect. That is Kṛṣṇa.
And Kṛṣṇa has to satisfy them all. He does not require any help from the devotees. But, as the devotees want... So these 16,000 devotees wanted Kṛṣṇa as their husband. Kṛṣṇa agreed. And that is... Just like common man. But as God, He expanded Himself into 16,000 forms.
So Nārada came to see. "Kṛṣṇa has married 16,000 wives. How He's dealing with them, let me see." So he, when he came here, he saw in 16,000 palaces, Kṛṣṇa is acting differently. And somewhere He's talking with His wife. Somewhere He's playing with His children. Somewhere He's getting marriage ceremony of His sons and daughters. So many, 16,000 ways He's engaged. That is Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa, although... Just like He was playing just like ordinary child. But when Mother Yaśodā wanted to see His mouth open, whether He has eaten earth, dirt, He showed within the mouth all the universes. So this is Kṛṣṇa. Although He is playing just like ordinary child, ordinary human being, but when there is need, He shows His Godly nature.
Then the question was... Parīkṣit Mahārāja questioned this: "Kṛṣṇa, He came to establish religious principles." Yadā yadā hi dharmasya glānir bhavati bhārata tadātmānaṁ sṛjāmy aham (BG 4.7). Paritrāṇāya sādhū..., vināśāya ca duṣkṛtām, dharma-saṁsthāpanārthāya. So why Kṛṣṇa did this act, because it is forbidden to mix with others' wife or daughter? Without being married, according to Vedic culture, no man or woman can mix very intimately. That is even in the ordinary dealings. Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita said that "Except your wife, all women are your mother." This is paṇḍita. Who is a paṇḍita, learned?
Kardama Muni, the father of Kapiladeva, he manufactured a plane, a big city. A big city, with lakes, with gardens, with big, big houses, street. And the whole city was flying all over the universe. And Kardama Muni showed to his wife all the planets, all the planets. He was a big yogi, and his wife, Devahūti, was Vaivasvata Manu's daughter, very big king's daughter. So Kardama Muni wanted to marry, desired. So immediately Vaivasvata Manu... His daughter, Devahūti, she also said: "My dear father, I want to marry that sage." So he brought the daughter: "Sir, here is my daughter. You accept her as your wife." So she was king's daughter, very opulent, but coming to her husband, she had to serve so much that she became lean and thin, not sufficient food and working day and night.
Joined family, the father, the sons, the nephews, the sister, husbands. They join together. That is called family. But in the Kali-yuga, it will be difficult even to maintain family. If one can maintain his family...
In New York, when I was there, one old lady was coming. So he has, she had a grown-up son. So I asked her: "Why don't you get your son married?" "Yes, he can marry if he can maintain the family." I did not know that, that the maintaining of family is a difficult job here. I did not know that. So these are described in the Bhāgavatam. If one can maintain a family, oh, he is very glorious man. "Oh, he's maintaining five (?)." If the girl has got a husband, she is considered to be very fortunate. So actually these things are there.
Just like Kuntī says that: apare vasudevasya devakyāṁ yācito 'bhyagāt (SB 1.8.33). Vasudeva and Devakī prayed to the Supreme Personality of Godhead that: "We want a son like You. That is our desires." Although they were married, they were, they did not beget any child. They engaged themselves in tapasya, severe tapasya. So Kṛṣṇa came before them: "What do you want?" "Now we want a child like You." Therefore here it is said: vasudevasya devakyāṁ yācitaḥ. Yācitaḥ. "Sir, we want a son like You." Now what, where there is possibility of another God? Kṛṣṇa is God. God cannot be two. God is one. So how there can be another God to become the son of Vasudeva and Devakī? Therefore God agreed that: "It is not possible to find out another God. Then I shall become your son."
And not one palace, two palace. Sixteen thousand palaces. And Nārada was surprised: "What Kṛṣṇa is doing with sixteen thousand wives?" In each and every palace he entered, and he saw Kṛṣṇa is engaged in different way. Somebody is taking care of the children; somebody... Somewhere He is arranging for the marriage of His son and daughter. Somewhere He is engaged in other sixteen thousand..., in the sixteen thousand palaces, in sixteen thousand engagements, and queens. So this is called opulence, aiśvarya. Who can show this? And Kṛṣṇa showed it personally.
So in every way Kṛṣṇa proved the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Still, these rascals, they are searching after God. What is this nonsense? Here is God. You see that He is God in every respect according to the definition, and still, you say that "Where is God?" How much rascal they are, just imagine. Here is God, and still, they are enquiring, "What is God? Can you show me God?"
Lord Viṣṇu, produced Brahmā without taking the help of His wife, Lakṣmī. She was present there. That is called omnipotency. He's not dependent on anything. That is all-powerful. Try to understand. We say God is omnipotent. Here is the instance of omnipotency. That if I want to beget a child I must marry a wife, but Kṛṣṇa, Viṣṇu, even in the presence of wife, without taking her help, He produced Brahmā. This is omnipotency. Go on.
No. In the, in our country son-in-law is very much worshiped. Worshiped means flattered. Never divorce the daughter. Therefore, nobody should expect that we may speak something humorous about son-in-law in India. Formerly... It is still the system that the daughter must get married. That is the responsibility of the father. It is called kanyā-dāna. A father may not get his son married. That is not very great responsibility. But if there is a daughter, the father must see that she is married. Formerly it was ten years, twelve years, thirteen years. Not more than that. That is the system. That was the Vedic system. Kanyā. Kanyā means before attaining puberty. Kanyā. So kanyā-dāna. She must be given in charity to somebody. So, in the pulina brāhmaṇa, brāhmaṇa, very respectable community, so it was very difficult to find out a suitable son-in-law. Therefore, formerly one gentleman may become a businessman simply by marrying.
So I saw one gentleman was smoking, and he told me, "Do you know this gentleman?" So I asked, "Oh, how can I know?" That "He is my aunt's husband, and my aunt is the sixty-fourth wife of this gentleman." Sixty-fourth. So, these pulina brāhmaṇas, they, their business was like that. Marry somewhere, stay there some days, again go to another wife, again go to another wife, again go to another. Simply going to the wife, that is business. This was a social system we have seen. Now these things are now gone. Nobody will marry the husband who has married sixty-four times. (laughter) But (laughing) it was there. So, son-in-law, in that case, is very much honored. There are many stories. We should not waste our time in that way. (laughter)
So, first of all, the relationship is established by some agreement. Then the transaction takes place. One is supplier, one is purchaser. Then the result is profit. Three things are there. In husband and wife, the same thing. First of all sambandha, the relationship, who will I marry, which girl, which boy. First of all plan... In the beginning... Formerly it was settled up by the parents. Still in India it is settled up by the parents. That is called sambandha. Then the marriage takes place. Then husband and wife relationship, they live together. Then there is the profit, a child. Similarly the human life is meant for reestablishing our relationship with God. In this material world... Material world means forgetfulness, forgetting our relationship with God. That is called material world. No Kṛṣṇa consciousness—that is material world. As soon as there is Kṛṣṇa consciousness and acting on the basis of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, it is no more material world; it is spiritual world.
This is the process. You'll see one day. But you should not be very much hasty. Oh..., of course, that is good: "Why I am not seeing Kṛṣṇa? Why I am not Kṛṣṇa, seeing, seeing...?"
So we should not be very much hasty. We must wait for the mature time. The example is given that generally a woman wants a child. Now she's married, and if she thinks, "Let me have immediately a child," that is not possible. You wait. Now you are married, you have got husband, you must get a child. That's a fact. Similarly, because you have engaged yourself in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, avyarthe kalatvaṁ nāma-gāne sadā ruciḥ. This is called firm faith, that "Now, because I am engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness business, so I must be able to face Kṛṣṇa, face to face, see Kṛṣṇa, face to face." That I must have. So don't be disappointed. Go on with your Kṛṣṇa consciousness activities. Time will come when you'll see Kṛṣṇa, just like Kuntī is seeing, face to face. There is no doubt about it.
Then, if I don't get better engagement, then where is my ānanda? There is no ānanda. So as we do not get ānanda, so then I come back again. There is a Bengali hearsay, napad jimane na, na jamai batta.(?) When a widow, old woman, her husband is dead... We have got experience. And she talks very loosely with the grandson-in-law. I have got experience. When we were young, young married, so my grandmother-in-law, my father-in-law's mother, she was talking very loosely, just like husband and wife. So that's a practical... Because she... She is hopeless of getting another husband because she is old enough. So where is the husband? She accepts or talks like husband to the grandson-in-law. So similarly, the Māyāvādī philosophers, they do not accept Kṛṣṇa or Kṛṣṇa's līlā. They think it is māyā. They do not accept it. So there is no ānanda. Therefore they come down again. Punar mūṣiko bhava. Again open hospital because there is no engagement. And he has to raise fund. So this is very easy thing: "Sir I am going to open a hospital.
We have seen it. We have... Everyone has got experience. Then as soon as he is grown up, he is given responsibility for learning ABCD, or going to school. He doesn't like. No child likes. At least I did not like to go to school. So this is also another struggle. Then, when he is grown up, he is given more and more responsibility, examination, and then married life, then family maintenance. In this way, struggling, struggling, struggling—again death. Again enter into the womb of mother. Again the same struggle. So where is happiness? Therefore when Kṛṣṇa says, duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam: (BG 8.15) "This whole material world is a place for suffering only," that is a fact. But mūḍho 'yam, being enamored by māyā, he does not know. He forgets. This life is of forgetfulness, ignorance.
These are the examples, Vedic culture. He is not maintained by anyone, but because he had no claim on the kingdom, he was thinking himself that "I am dependent on this family."
Actually, the kingdom belonged to Bhīṣmadeva, the kingdom. But he promised... His father wanted to marry Satyavatī. At that time his father was old enough. Bhīṣmadeva was grown-up boy, twenty, twenty-two years. But nature, his father wanted to marry again. Bhīṣmadeva is the son of mother Ganges. Bhīṣmadeva's father married the predominating deity mother Ganges, of the Ganges water. So she was very beautiful. So she agreed to marry Bhīṣmadeva's father on one condition. What is that condition? That all the children that will be begotten, they will be thrown in the Ganges water. This was the condition. If the king agreed, then she would marry. So when a man becomes mad after woman...
"Then I am going." "Now you can go. I shall keep this child."
So Ganges, Mother Ganges, left Bhīṣma's father. And Bhīṣma was raised by his father. He became grown-up. Again this father became captivated with Satyavatī. Satyavatī. Satyavatī, before her marriage... Satyavatī is the daughter of a fisherman. The fishermen... In your country there is no such distinction. But in our country there are classification. A fishermen, there is a class. So their girls and women, very well-figured, very enchanting figure. So Satyavatī was the daughter of a fisherman, and Bhīṣma's father become enchanted. So he went to the fisherman. He was king. So "Give me your daughter. I shall marry." "Oh, you are already married. You have got son. Why shall I give my daughter to you?" "No, I am king. I shall maintain her." "No, no, No. I don't want to give." In India still, if a man wants to marry, and if he has got children by his former wife, people will hesitate to give him daughter, because there are stepsons. So nobody wants that "My daughter will be troubled by the stepson,—daughter. No." Still they are practiced. To marry for the second time becomes a problem. But nowadays these things are gone.
So nobody wants that "My daughter will be troubled by the stepson,—daughter. No." Still they are practiced. To marry for the second time becomes a problem. But nowadays these things are gone.
So the grown-up son, Bhīṣmadeva, he understood that "My father is inclined to marry that girl." So he went to plead, canvass: "So why don't you give your daughter to my father?" "No, no, I cannot give my daughter to your father. You are his son. You will inherit the kingdom, and my daughter's son will not inherit. So how can I give my daughter?" So he said that "I'll not accept the kingdom. I promise that your daughter's son will inherit the kingdom." "No, no, no. Still I cannot." "Why?" "You'll marry. Then your son will be inheritor. My grandson will not be inheritor." He was calculating in that way, pākā businessman. (laughter) So he promised that "You give your daughter to my father, and I promise that I shall not marry. So there will be no son. So naturally my stepmother's son will inherit the kingdom." Then he agreed.
So he promised that "You give your daughter to my father, and I promise that I shall not marry. So there will be no son. So naturally my stepmother's son will inherit the kingdom." Then he agreed.
So Bhīṣmadeva's father, although it was little shameful that the son is canvassing for the marriage of father, still, he could understand that "My son is so sensible that I wanted to marry, and he has managed." So he gave him one benediction: "My dear son, you'll remain brahmacārī, I can understand. But I give you one benediction, that unless you desire to die, you will never die." Icchā-mṛtyu. "This benediction you will have. Unless you desire that 'Now I shall die,' nobody can kill you, and you'll never die." So this was, the... Therefore... And because he promised so seriously that "I shall not marry," he gave up his kingdom, therefore his name is Bhīṣma.
Pārvatī means "the daughter of Parvata." Parvata means mountain. So the plan was that within the womb of Pārvatī and by the semina of Lord Śiva, one son must take birth, and later on he took and his name was Kārttikeya. Kārttikeya was born. So, but they were... Lord Śiva was in meditation, and Pārvatī was not married at that time with Lord Śiva, although she was destined to marry Lord Śiva, because in the transcendental world, the husband and wife, they are also eternal. Even the wife or husband changes body, again they become husband and wife. This is in the higher sense. They do not separate. So but Lord Śiva was in meditation. And it is very difficult to break his meditation. So he was naked, and Pārvatī was engaged to worship śiva-liṅga, the genital of Lord Śiva. Still in the Vedic culture, there is worshiping of śiva-liṅga, the genital of Lord Śiva. So Pārvatī was engaged to worship the genital of Lord Śiva. Certainly there was touching by young girl, but he was not agitated.
The culture is so nice, simply by the dress one will understand that "Here is a woman; her husband is not at home. Here is a woman; she is widow. Here is a woman; she is prostitute." In this way, there are. "Here is a woman, she is not married." By dress, one will understand. That vermillion sign means she is married. When she is nicely dressed, oh, she has her husband at home. When she is in white cloth without any ornament, she is widow. When the sīmanta... What is called in English, sīmanta? This? Parting. If it is not in the middle, it is in side, she is a prostitute. So woman should dress in such a way that man will understand. And not married, she will not have this veil. It must be open. So anyway, these are social customs in the Vedic civilization.
Because as soon as one becomes materially affectionate... Here it is said, prākṛtena ātmanā viprāḥ sneha-moha-vaśam. The more we increase... When the child, when we are children, we have got little affection for playing or for father, mother, that's all, limited. But the more we grow, and especially when you are married, then this material affection increases, more entangled. That is also stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). This material life means sex life. So a man is searching after woman, and woman is searching after man. This is material bondage. This is natural not only human society—in dog society. Just see. The dog is crying, is crying at night because he has lost that woman. Is it not? Just see, even in the dog, what to speak of human being. So this is material life, to be affectionate unnecessarily. Therefore devotional service means vairāgya-vidyā.
Under the circumstances, it is the duty of the father to hand over the girl to a nice young boy to take her protection. This is marriage. Kanyā-dāna. According to Vedic system, kanyā, means daughter, is given in charity. To find out a suitable... Practically, I'll say, in our childhood age, my sisters were married between nine to twelve years. My eldest sister was married when she was nine years old, before my birth. She is the eldest. And my second sister was married at the age of twelve, twelve years. And my third sister was married at the age of 11 years. So by the (indistinct) 12 years, the marriage must be finished. That was the duty of the father. I remember, because my second sister was going twelve years, my mother said to my father that "I shall go to the river and commit suicide. The daughter is not married." (laughter) You see.
I remember, because my second sister was going twelve years, my mother said to my father that "I shall go to the river and commit suicide. The daughter is not married." (laughter) You see. The father was very sorry, "Yes, I am trying. What can I do?" (laughter) And then next generation, when my... I was also married man, you know. I was married when my wife was only eleven years old. And at the age of fourteen years she gave birth to first child. And next generation, when my eldest daughter was married at the age of sixteen years—it is little increased—but I was also very much upset that the daughter is sixteen years old.
Nobody cares whether the daughter is married or not. But that is not good. Another difficulty is that everywhere, all over the world, the female population is greater than, on the average, than male population. So if each and every woman has to be married, then there is no sufficient number of male population. Therefore, according to Vedic rituals, those who are higher caste, just like the kṣatriyas or the brāhmaṇas, especially, others also, polygamy is allowed. Polygamy is allowed. Just like our most exalted personality, Kṛṣṇa, He has married sixteen thousand wives. He is God. (laughter) Unless you have got so many wives, how you can be God? Not that sixteen thousand wives, one wife is to be seen one day, so that the turn will come after sixteen thousand days. No. That is God. He expanded Himself into sixteen thousand forms also, so that every wife was happy to live with the husband. And for Kṛṣṇa, why sixteen thousand? If He marries sixteen millions, still, it is not sufficient. Because in the Bhagavad-gītā it is said, īśvaraḥ sarva-bhūtānāṁ hṛd-deśe 'rjuna tiṣṭhati: (BG 18.61)
That is not difficult.
Anyway, the point is that Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, he, how responsible king, just think over. Arjuna was also thinking before fighting. He was arguing with Kṛṣṇa that "If I kill my brothers, all the my sister-in-laws, they'll be widow." And there was no such thing as widow-marriage in India. No. No widow can marry. Why? Because the woman population is greater than the man. If widow again marries, then the unmarried girl does not get chance to have another husband. Therefore there was no widow-marriage. Widow-marriage was especially allowed only when the girl did not see her husband at any time or she had no children. Formerly, in our days, younger days, although the girl was married at an early age, she was not allowed to see her husband unless she is grown-up fully. Unless she has attained puberty, she is not... She lives with her parents. But she knows that "I have got my husband."
Unless she has attained puberty, she is not... She lives with her parents. But she knows that "I have got my husband." This consciousness is a great pleasure for a women psychologically, that "I have got husband." A very nice system. And when the girl grows up, puberty, then again another ceremony is taken. That is almost like second marriage. The girl goes to her husband, to live with her husband. This was the system.
So women were taken so much care by the Vedic civilization. Still they are taken. It is the duty of the father... Until she is married, it is the duty of the father to give her all protection. Therefore the father wants to get her married, to get relief from the responsibility. He has a great responsibility. It is called kanyā-dāya. Actually the word is called kanyā-dāya. Putra-ṛṇa. Ṛṇa means debt. If you are debtor to somebody you may not pay it, saying, "Sir, I have no money.
"Sir, I have no money. Whatever you like, you can do." But dāya means a great burden. It must be get relieved of. Dāya means a great responsibility. Dāya. Dāya-bhāk. Just like a son inherits the property of the father... It is called dāya-bhāk, law. Similarly, this is the, I mean to say, most obligatory duty of the father, to get the daughter married. And then it is the duty of the husband next. Just like we get... When we perform marriage ceremony in our society, we get the husband promise that he takes charge of the girl for life. And the girl agrees to serve the boy for life. There is no question of divorce.
So the father hands over the charge to a nice boy. Never mind he is rich or no. That doesn't matter. He must be a responsible boy, who knows his responsibility. Not that "Today I marry, and tomorrow I go away. That's all." Not like that.
That means their child. They are laborer class. But ordinary laborer class, poor man, but they are living husband and wife and children happily. Still.
So marriage is very compulsory in Vedic system because who is to take charge of the woman? They require protection. The father must take charge naturally, or the husband. And when she is old... Just like Caitanya Mahāprabhu was taking charge of His widow mother. So when He took sannyāsa, so mother became very much upset: "Oh, that I have no husband, and this boy is going to take sannyāsa." Naturally. But that is a different case. For Kṛṣṇa's sake, we can forsake our obligatory duties. For Kṛṣṇa's sake. In the śāstra it is said that one who has fully surrendered to Kṛṣṇa, he has no more any material duty.
There is already propensities. You haven't got to teach. Nobody teaches in the school how to enjoy sex life. Everyone knows. So these things are natural. Then why it has been taken by the Vedas? This should be the question, that "Without marriage, sex life is going on. Why this show of marriage?" People may question this. But there is need. Because Vedas have taken this marriage. Marriage is Vedic. So why Vedas have taken this marriage? No, to restrict it. Without marriage, sex life (is) unrestricted. And as soon as it comes to the Vedic principles, it becomes restricted. So the idea is to restrict. People are accustomed to this habit, and on account of this habit, they gradually become implicated with the laws of material nature. Therefore there is some restriction. Just like anyone can distill liquor at home. It is not very difficult thing. Anyone can do it. In India they do it. It is called dheno-mada. Dheno-mada means...
Just like Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira is thinking of all prajās, not only... Otherwise, the language would have been "human being." No. Prajā, "All, all kinds of prajā." This is universal understanding.
So deva-vrata. Deva-vrata is Bhīṣmadeva. Vrata means vow, and deva means God. So he took brahmacārī-vrata: "I'll, I remain ever-celibate. I'll never marry." It is called deva-vrata. Naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī. This is possible in high-class society, that "I shall remain celibate all the life, naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī." They do not marry. Naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī. So Bhīṣmadeva was naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī. Therefore his name is deva-vrata.
Even they cannot decorate their wives. And woman, they require also ornament. It is psychology. Manu-saṁhitā, it has been recommended that "If you want to keep satisfied your wife, then you must give her good food, good sari and good ornament." This is the system. Therefore during marriage time, the girl is given by the father according to his means, as many saris, nice saris, beautiful costly saris, and as much as possible, golden ornaments. And those who are very rich, they, still in India, they give jewelries, means diamonds, pearls, sapphire, according to means. Those who are richer class, they don't touch gold. They must give jewelry. This is the system.
So if you find out somebody, somebody like you or me, and if he possesses all the riches, all strength, all influence, all knowledge, all beauty—then He is Bhagavān. That Kṛṣṇa possesses.
There is no comparison of Kṛṣṇa's opulences. I have several times given the example. Say, in the human society there is marriage. So Kṛṣṇa married 16,800 wives. And for each wife a palace, marble palace, bedecked with jewels, and the furniture made of ivory and gold, and bed and curtains, they're all made of silk. So... And the... Not only palace, but also garden attached to the palace. And the flower trees, pārijāta flower. The pārijāta flower was brought from the heaven. This pārijāta flower is not visible in this world. From heavenly planet Kṛṣṇa brought it. His wife Satyabhāmā, He requested... He... Both of them, Satyabhāmā and Kṛṣṇa, went to the heavenly planet. So generally woman, they are after something.
Similarly, gopīs' love for Kṛṣṇa was pure. There was no consideration that Kṛṣṇa was God, therefore they wanted to dance with Him. No, Kṛṣṇa wanted to dance with them, therefore they came to Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is now calling by the vibration of His flute at this dead of night. So, all these young girls, they are all married—some of them are mothers—so immediately (they) left their home. That is described in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. Some of them were cooking, some of them were feeding, breast-feeding the children, some of them were feeding the husband or the father. In this way everyone was engaged, but as soon as Kṛṣṇa's flute was heard at dead of night, they left home immediately. All the guardians. Generally in India for young girls, the guardians are the father, the husband, the brother, all male members they forbid, "Where you are going? Where you are...?" Nobody cares. No love for so-called children, no love for home, no love for brother, father or no respect. Kṛṣṇa.
Therefore if she's fortunate to have a good husband, devotee, and if she becomes faithful to that husband, then her life is successful. That is called tapasya.
So Gāndhārī did it. Gāndhārī... In India still, marriage does not take by canvassing all of a sudden. The father and mother, especially in aristocratic family, royal family, even in Western countries, the father, mother select the husband or wife. Even in England, the Kind Edward VIII, he was intimately in friendship with a common girl. So the state would not allow him that "You can marry a common girl." So at that time the prime minister, one Mr. Baldwin, he said to him that "Either you have to give up the company of that common girl or you have to give up this empire." So out of sentiment, he gave up the empire.
"This man is maintaining one white elephant." Because a European wife means very much expenditure. So one Mr. P. R. Das, he was high-court judge. So he was taking bribe on account of maintaining white elephant. He married one European wife. The expenditure very high. In those days for Indian it was a fashion to get a European wife. So this man married one European wife, and his expenditures was very, very heavy. So high-court judge, he was getting only four thousand rupees, and his expenditure was ten thousand rupees, and therefore he was taking bribe. He admitted. So when he was detected by the chief justice, he was dismissed from the post. But this is the position. You should not expend more than your income.
The Lord decided to stay especially to pacify the aggrieved King as well as to please Subhadrā, sister of Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa. Subhadrā was especially pacified because she lost her only son, Abhimanyu, who was just married. The boy left his wife, Uttarā, mother of Mahārāja Parīkṣit. The Lord is always pleased to satisfy His devotees in any capacity. Only His devotees can play the part of His relatives. The Lord is absolute."
She was disciple, student. Arjuna was teaching her dancing. Virāṭarāja, King Virāṭa's daughter, Uttarā. So they were in disguise. Ajñāta-vāsa. So the Virāṭarāja did not know that Arjuna was living in his house. So this daughter of Virāṭa, Uttarā, when Arjuna was known that he is Arjuna, he requested that "You marry my daughter." So Arjuna said, "No, how can I marry? She is my disciple. She is my student. She is just like my daughter. How can I marry?" Then he promised that "I shall get her married with my son, although he is not very grown up."
So Abhimanyu was Kṛṣṇa's (Arjuna's) son from the womb of Subhadrā. So he was married. Only sixteen years. Almost the same age. Fortunately Uttarā became pregnant. So Abhimanyu went to fight in the Battlefield of Kurukṣetra and never returned. So Parīkṣit Mahārāja was posthumous child. He took his birth after the death of his father. He did not see. Not only father, many. Because it was after the battle. He was the only survivor of the whole Kuru dynasty. So he was also attempted to be killed by Aśvatthāmā by brahmāstra. Kṛṣṇa saved. So Parīkṣit Mahārāja was born after the death of his father. The grandfathers took care of him, and as soon as the child was grown up, all the grandfathers, Pāṇḍavas, entrusted the kingdom to Parīkṣit Mahārāja, and they left home.
There is no need of encouragement. Then why the śāstra's ordering that "You eat meat in this way. You drink in this way. You have sexual intercourse in this way"? What is the purpose? The purpose is to restrict him. Because by natural propensity he'll have... Just like in Western countries there is no marriage practically. But they have sexual intercourse. They think, "Sex is there, available. Why we should bound ourselves by marriage tie?" They think like that. So why the marriage is there? Just to restrict. Without marriage, the man and woman will be open to so many other men and women. Therefore it is to restrict. One man, one woman. Otherwise, if you associate with so many men and so many women, this is animalism. So in order to check him from the animal life, sex intercourse, the marriage is there. This is the purpose. Therefore śāstra. Śāstra means simply restrict. One who is accustomed to restriction, he's perfect.
Prabhupāda: Eh?
Devotee (3): Rajneesh Acarya says that one should have unrestricted sex life.
Prabhupāda: So there are so many rascals. Therefore...
Indian: Shakespeare writes in his books that marriage is nothing but legal prostitution.
Prabhupāda: Yes. So that is their interpretation. Marriage, Vedic śāstra enjoins marriage, and it is for prostitution. Just see the interpretation. All the great ṛṣis, they recommended: "Yes, you can go on, prostitution, with your prostitution, under the sanction of the śāstra." No, it is not that. The real purpose is to restrict. Just like meat-eating. Meat-eating is recommended in Vedic literature. There is kālī-pūjā. Kālī-pūjā. By sacrificing one goat before Goddess Kālī. Goddess Kālī's worshiped on the amāvasyā. Amāvasyā takes place once in a month.
"He will eat me." That is māṁsa. So no responsible man will take that responsibility, that "I will kill this animal. Again he'll become a man and he'll kill me. No, no. Stop this business."
So this is the process of restriction. Similarly those who are drunkards, for them is recommended by offering liquor to Caṇḍī, they can drink. Similarly, marriage is also like that. It is restriction. It is not prostitution. It is restriction. Pravṛttir eṣā bhūtānāṁ nivṛttis tu mahā-phalā. This is natural tendency. If you want, if one can stop it, that is called tapasya. And human life becomes perfect by tapasya.
By legal significance, they were not inheritor. So Vidura was born like that. He was not born of the queen, but of the maidservant. But his elder brother Dhṛtarāṣṭra liked him very much. He got him raised—he was younger—very nicely. He got him married and gave him sufficient property. He was very kind upon him. And therefore Vidura was also very much obliged to his eldest brother, and he was always giving him good advice, and a great devotee.
So on this account of family dissension, he left home. And after the battle of Kurukṣetra, when everything was finished, so still, he had affection for his eldest brother, "My dear brother, now everything is finished, your all sons, for whom you intrigued so much. And you are still living, I mean, shamelessly.
That is called punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30), again and again chewing the chewed. Just like generally a father, especially here in India, he wants that his son may be well-situated. Therefore we don't get Indian youth very much, because the father and mother settles them. What is that? Get them married and give them some earning capacity, either by service or business. So he becomes satisfied, "This is the end of life." Gṛhamedhi. Just "Now I am married. It is my duty to stick to the gṛha and enjoy senses, that's all."
Sāvitrī was a very chaste devoted woman. Sāvitrī. In India, to the woman, in order to become very chaste and devoted to husband, they observe the ritualistic ceremony to worship Sāvitrī Satyavān. So Sāvitrī was in love with a boy who was destined to die on the marriage date, but still, she married. She knew that "As soon as I will be married, on the same day, my husband will die." So she pleased the Yamarāja. After the death... The husband died, but she pleased the Yamarāja so much so that Yamarāja was ready to give her some benediction. So Yamarāja said, "What benediction you want?" "Now, as woman, I wish that may be a son of mine, from me." "All right, you will get a son." Then again she said that "If you are taking away my husband, how I will get my son?" So her husband was made alive. So indirectly... So kṛṣṇa-devatāḥ. If you actually want to be eternally blissful, take to kṛṣṇa-devatāḥ.
The Yadu dynasty... When Kṛṣṇa was present, the family members were about ten millions. This is Kṛṣṇa. Everything is wonderful. He married 16,108 wives, and each wife had ten children, and each child begot another ten children. In this way, the Yadu-kula was a very big family. So they were destroyed.
There are two comments on this point, why Yadu-kula was destroyed by Kṛṣṇa's plan. One comment is that if they would continue to live, then the same misconception, that a brāhmaṇa is born in the brāhmaṇa family—they would continue to speak that "We are also gods, because we are born of God's family, Kṛṣṇa's family." Just like in India there is a class, they call themselves Nityānanda-vaṁśa, descendants of Lord Nityānanda.
Unnatural. Therefore these poor souls are being exploited by the other section. It is a great deficiency of the Western sociology.
But the Vedic culture is different from this. Woman is not given independence. And generally one man marries more than one wife. That is Vedic culture. Just like see Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa has 16,108. That is allowed. Kṛṣṇa was Personality of Godhead. He could maintain... Why sixteen? Sixteen millions wife. That is not difficult for Him. But even ordinary man, kṣatriyas especially, they used to marry more than one wife. Still. Not only wife, but one wife, one princess is married, and along with her, hundred, two hundred maidservants, they will go with the king. Just like when Vasudeva was married to Devakī, some hundreds of maidservant was given with. So women... The conclusion is that women are weak.
One should not become, try to become father, one should not try to become mother if the parents cannot save the child from imminent death. That is the responsibility. And who is that father? Who is that mother? This is Vedic civilization. My Guru Mahārāja used to say that "I am a sannyāsī. I am not married, neither I am meant for marrying. But if I can produce Kṛṣṇa conscious children, I can marry hundred times." That is the responsibility. Don't produce cats and dogs; produce Kṛṣṇa devotees. Then you'll marry. Otherwise don't marry. This is Vedic injunction. Marriage is not meant for sense gratification. Marriage is meant for producing nice children, Kṛṣṇa devotees.
It is practical. I have seen in our country and the Western countries, the woman are given freedom. By such freedom they are not happy. It is a fact. It is a fact. Therefore Vedic system is that it is the father's duty when a girl is mature, before attaining puberty, she is handed over to a suitable boy, "Please take charge of her. This girl..." Our marriage system is that "So long she was under my charge. Now I..." This is the process.
So women, by nature they should remain subordinate. It does not mean, "Because somebody is my subordinate, therefore I shall cut his throat or her throat." No. Just like sometimes the Christian philosophers say, "The animals are given under the control of man. Therefore they should be slaughtered." This is their philosophy. Control of man does not mean they should be slau... They should be taken care of. That is the law. That is stated in the Bhagavad-gītā:
If you associate with goodness, then you acquire goodness quality, and if you associate with bad, passionate, ignorant, then you get that quality. So according to that quality...
This Yadu-vaṁśa, they were Kṛṣṇa's descendants. Just like when a king comes, he comes with his associates. So when Kṛṣṇa appeared, He had to marry so many wives because it was a stage to show Kṛṣṇa's supreme authority, supremacy. So the demigods came down also from different planets to help Kṛṣṇa. So these demigods became Kṛṣṇa's family. Some of the woman denizens, they became Kṛṣṇa's wife, and some of them became their sons. In this way, a huge family of Kṛṣṇa, Yadu dynasty. One crore, very big family, 16,108 wives. Each wife had sons, ten sons, and each son had ten sons. In this way children, grandchildren, and the whole family, big dynasty, Yadu family. It is estimated 100,000 hundred times. So many. Now, Kṛṣṇa wanted to leave this planet. So what will happen there? If they remain...
Therefore they would be turned again into demons: "Oh, I belong to Kṛṣṇa's family." Just like in our country, Nityānanda-vaṁśa: "I belong to the Nityānanda Prabhu," exploiting people. The Muhammadans also: "I belong to the family of Muhammad, Hazrat Muhammad." Christ has no family; he did not marry. Otherwise some would have been very much puffed up, "I am family of Christ." So this material nature is such thing that as soon as you get little power, you become puffed up. That is demonic nature. That is demonic nature. So Kṛṣṇa wanted to take them with Him, because they came to help Kṛṣṇa, and after His departure, these demigods would turn into demons. That He did not like to see.
This is domestic animals. They are domestic animals. They used to be maintained. But nowadays they cannot. But during Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira's time or before that, the city was so full of elephants that it is named after elephant, Hastināpura: "Many elephants." Still in India, in big procession, marriage ceremony, they bring some elephants. But that is in procession, elephants, horses, are demonstrated. And especially royal family. But those things have now gone. Now, instead of Hastināpura, it is now "Motorcarpura." (laughter) Just see.
So Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira first of all appointed his grandson, Parīkṣit Mahārāja, the emperor of the whole world. Then he distributed... (break) ...or only intimate families, because Kṛṣṇa's family, Yadu dynasty, and this Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira's family, Kuru dynasty, they were related in so many ways by marriage. Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira's mother, Kuntī, belonged to the Yadu dynasty—means Kṛṣṇa's aunt, Kṛṣṇa's father's sister. Similarly, Arjuna's wife Subhadrā..., here is Subhadrā, she became the wife of Arjuna, sister of Kṛṣṇa. So there were so many family relationships, Kṛṣṇa's family and the Kuru family. Kṛṣṇa was not present. Therefore Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira was taking care of the children, grandsons. As his grandson was posted as emperor, similarly, Kṛṣṇa's grandson was also situated as the king of Śūrasena, in which province the Mathurā is there: mathurāyām.
Bhīṣmadeva especially, his father gave him the benediction that so long he would not himself like to die, he'll never die, Bhīṣmadeva. He got this benediction from his father because his promise was very stern, severe. You know the story, that Bhīṣmadeva's father was captivated by the young girl, Satyavatī, and he wanted to marry her. A kṣatriya could do that. But Satyavatī's father disagreed. Although he was king, he could marry anyone he likes. But his (her) father... Still, with the permission of the parents. So the father denied, "No, no, I cannot give you my daughter to you." "Why?" "Because you have got grown-up son, and he will be the king. Why my daughter shall be married with you just like a maid-servant? No." So Bhīṣmadeva could understand that "My father desires to marry this young girl, Satyavatī, and there is some hindrances." So he approached, that "Why don't you give my father your daughter?"
You will become king." So he immediately promised that "No, your daughter's son will become king. I will not become king. Give my father, sir." So he said, "No, no, still it is not possible." "Why?" "Because you may not become king. Then your son will become king. I don't want that." So in this way Bhīṣmadeva said, "No, then I shall not marry. Is that all right? Still..." Then he gave his daughter, "Yes." Satyavatī.
So his father, Śantanu Mahārāja, saw that Bhīṣma is so affectionate to his father that for the father's sense gratification he has sacrificed his own. So he gave him this benediction, "My dear son, you are so stern in keeping your promise. So I give you this benediction, that you will never die unless you desire." Therefore Bhīṣmadeva was lying on the bed of arrows, and he left this material world when he desired. So the yogis can do that. The yogis they control the soul.
So if you discuss these things... Long affairs, shortly. Then again it says, dāmpatye abhirucir hetur māyaiva vyāvahārike. Dāmpatye. Dāmpatye, husband and wife relation, will depend on abhiruciḥ. Abhiruciḥ means liking. A girl likes boy, and a boy likes girl. "That's all right. Now let the marriage take place." They do not see what will be future of this girl and the boy. Never. Therefore everyone is unhappy. Six months after marriage, divorce. Because the marriage took place on superficial liking, no deep understanding... So things are taking place like that. Formerly marriage, at least in India, at least up to our time, the marriage was taking place not on the liking of the boy and the girl. No. It was decided by the parents. So... Just like I was also married man. I was married when I was a student, and I did not know what will be the... But the parents arranged.
What to speak of me, I will give you another very brilliant example, that you have heard the name of Dr. Rajendra Prasad. He was the first president of Indian... He has written his biography. He was married at the age of eight years. Formerly, in India the marriage was taking place like that. I know. My father-in-law was married when he was eleven years. And my mother-in-law was seven years. You see? So actually, the point is that the marriage was taking by the calculation, "Whether this couple will be happy in their life?" In this way marriage was taking place. Not that a grown-up girl, grown-up boy, mixes together, and he likes, she likes. Then again he leaves or she... This kind of marriage was not sanctioned.
That's all. Abhiruciḥ. Boys and girls are intermingling freely, and if she likes, that's all right. But no future calculation. This is Kali-yuga. No future calculation, whether in future marriage is sanctified life, the man and the woman live peacefully, make spiritual culture, each one will help the other so that they will live very happily and become advancement in spiritual life and then go back to... That is the system. But nowadays, in Kali-yuga, it will be simply liking. Liking means next moment disliking. That is a fact. You see. Liking has no value. As soon as you based on liking, then you expect next moment disliking. That's all.
Anāḍhyataivāsādhutve sādhutve dambha eva tu, svīkāra eva codvāhe snānam eva prasādhanam (SB 12.2.5). Anāḍhyatā. If you are poor man, then you are dishonest. People will understand that "This man is actually not honest because he does not know how to earn money by hook or crook." Svīkāra eva codvāhe. "And marriage will take place by agreement." And that is very much experienced in your country. In our country also. Now government has appointed marriage magistrate. So any boy and girl like, simply go to him. Maybe there is some fee: "Yes, we agree to marry," and certifies, "They are married." No. Not like that. Formerly as the father and mother used to select and see the future. Svīkāra eva codvāhe. Svīkāra. Svīkāra means agreement.
One shall be considered very expert if he can maintain his family-wife and children. That means this will be difficult. It has already become difficult. To maintain wife and a few children, that is also a great burden at the present moment. Therefore nobody wants to marry. Evaṁ prajābhir duṣṭābhir ākīrṇe kṣiti-maṇḍale. In this way, when all the people will be infected by the poison of Kali-yuga, brahma-viṭ-kṣatra-śūdrāṇāṁ yo balī bhavitā nṛpaḥ.
So it doesn't matter whether he is a brāhmaṇa or a kṣatriya or vaiśya or śūdra or caṇḍāla. One who is powerful in getting votes, he will occupy the presidential post or the royal post. Just see. Formerly the system was that not the brāhmaṇa, er, vaiśya, or śūdra can occupy the royal throne. Only the kṣatriyas. Now, in the Kali-yuga, there is no such thing, who is a kṣatriya, who is a brāhmaṇa, who is a... Anyone, hook and crook you get your votes, democracy, and occupy...
"Because in my innocence I committed some sin, you are punishing me in this way, so I also curse you that next life you will have to become a śūdra. Because you have no intelligence of a brāhmaṇa or kṣatriya." So Vidura became a śūdra. Śūdra means he was born by a king, he was begotten by king, but his mother was śūdra, maidservant. That was the system, that when a king is married, the father of the princess also gives so many girls to go with the princess, as maidservant. And sometimes the maidservants also gave birth. So they are called dāsī-putra. Such son could not claim to the throne, but were provided, dāsī-putra. So Vidura's history was like that. He was a dāsī-putra, brother, a step-brother, not exactly step-brother, but brother, of Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra. But he was a very saintly person, because formerly, in the previous life, he was Yamarāja. So he was not ordinary man.
Not directly looking, but there was a waterpot, the reflection. He has to fix up his point by seeing the reflection down, and then he has to pierce the eye. Then Draupadī will accept. All the noted princes in those times, they kept such bet. Even Kṛṣṇa had to marry Satyabhāmā... Satyabhāmā's father also made a bet the, he kept five very strong bulls. So condition was that "Any boy who will be able to control these bulls, then I will offer my daughter to him." So all the princes who came to control the bulls, they got their hands and legs fractured by the pushing of the bull. Nobody could... Then Kṛṣṇa came. And Kṛṣṇa controlled the five bulls, expanding Himself into five strong boy, and He was offered Satyabhāmā.
So all the princes who came to control the bulls, they got their hands and legs fractured by the pushing of the bull. Nobody could... Then Kṛṣṇa came. And Kṛṣṇa controlled the five bulls, expanding Himself into five strong boy, and He was offered Satyabhāmā.
So in kṣatriya marriage it was not so easy. The boy had to show how much powerful he is. Then the girl would be offered. Not only that; there will be killing. The opposite party may be killed. When there is fight, there is killing. And by killing, the blood is smeared over here. That is the red sign. That is the red sign, now used with vermillion. Not by killing. Yes, it has become... It is made easier. (laughter) Formerly the red sign was not so easy. There must be blood. That is kṣatriya. Kṣatriya means the fighting race, fighting caste, king, royal.
Karṇa was powerful. He would gain. But she did not like Karṇa. Therefore at that time she said that "This sporting is meant for the kṣatriyas, not for the śūdras." Karṇa was known at that time as śūdra. You will find all these stories in the Mahābhārata. Karṇa was also Yudhiṣṭhira's brother, born of Kuntī before her marriage. So Kuntī did not disclose that Karṇa was her son, but he was raised by a śūdra. People knew that he was a śūdra. So Karṇa had a grudge against Draupadī. Therefore he planned to place her in the gambling game. And when the Pāṇḍavas were lost, now he wanted to retaliate the insult given by Draupadī during her svayaṁvara. So he advised... He was friendly to Duryodhana and brothers. "Now this lady is lost. Now we can deal with her as we like. She is our property." So she was lost. "So I want to see her naked in this assembly." So vastra-haraṇa. You know. But Kṛṣṇa saved her. So Draupadī knows very well Kṛṣṇa. Therefore it is said tadājñāya draupadī ca.
Similarly, Lord Rāmacandra, His wife was kidnapped, Sītā, by Rāvaṇa. So Lord Rāmacandra is God. He would create many millions of Sītās. But no. For that one Sītā, war was declared against Rāvaṇa, and the whole family dynasty, with kingdom, everything was finished. So this is the duty of the husband, that... Not like the modern days' husband: marries for three months. One, the sixth month, they were no more husband. Separate. Not like that. Husband means who takes charge of the girl for life, and wife means the girl who has the resolution to serve the husband throughout life. That is husband and wife. And when the wife is in danger, the husband's duty is to give protection, at any cost. That is husband-wife relationship.
There is no necessity. Anyone—animals, man, birds, beasts, insects—they know all these thing. Āhāra-nidrā-bhaya-maithunaṁ ca. It does not require any education. If there is education for this purpose, that is for restraining. Just like in human society. There is education for sex life, marriage. What is that marriage? Marriage means restricting sex life to one. That is education. If you are not restricted in that way, then you are animal. That is education. But... Because sex life does not require any college education, but if there is education in sex life, not to increase the propensity of sex life, but to reduce it... To reduce it.
Prabhupāda: Utpādayat, "married"? This is wrong.
Pradyumna: Should be "produced."
Prabhupāda: "Begotten." It should be "begotten." Who has corrected?
Pradyumna: Translation: "King Parīkṣit married the daughter of King Uttara and begot four sons, headed by Mahārāja Janamejaya." (SB 1.16.2)
Prabhupāda: Sa uttarasya tanayām. Mahārāja Parīkṣit, his mother's name was Uttarā, Uttarā. Means King Virāṭa, he had two issues, one son, one daughter. The son's name was Uttara and the daughter's name was Uttarā. This Uttarā was taught dancing by Arjuna. When Arjuna was staying at Mahārāja Virāṭa's house as an ordinary dancing master, they did not know that he is Arjuna. Because the promise was for one year, they should remain incognito. If they are detected, then again for twelve years they will be banished.
Arjuna was a great warrior, and he was expert dancing master also. So when it was disclosed that "These servants, they are the Pāṇḍavas. They remained here as ordinary servant," so Mahārāja Virāṭa was very much pleased, that "Such exalted persons are living in my house incognito." So he offered Uttarā to Arjuna, that "You marry my daughter. You have taught her dancing." So Arjuna said, "How can I marry her? I am teacher, and she is my disciple. She is my daughter. How can I marry her?" Then Arjuna said that "If you want to keep this daughter in our family, I have got a grown-up son, sixteen years old." That means Abhimanyu, the son of Subhadrā, this Subhadrā, Kṛṣṇa, Balarāma, Subhadrā. So Subhadrā was married to Arjuna, and the son was Abhimanyu. So Uttarā was married to Abhimanyu. And the son was Mahārāja Parīkṣit. Abhimanyu was just married and the war was declared.
He considered himself offender. That is last stage. And because he was cursed by a brāhmaṇa at the last stage of his life, seven days, he heard Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam from Śukadeva Gosvāmī. Therefore we have got this book. This is the story.
So here Mahārāja Parīkṣit, son of Uttarā, but he married his maternal uncle's daughter. That was permissible. Still it is permissible. This kind of marriage is considered very aristocratic, to marry the daughter of maternal uncle. So Arjuna also married the daughter of maternal uncle. Kuntī is the sister of Vasudeva, Kṛṣṇa's father, and Subhadrā is the daughter of Vasudeva. So he also married. Except in Southern India, this process is now no longer existing. In Bengal and other provinces of India, they do not marry the first cousin. So that is the marriage system. But in southern India, still, to marry the daughter of maternal uncle is considered as very aristocratic.
So this system was current five thousand years ago also. So Mahārāja Parīkṣit married his uncle's daughter, uttarasya tanayām. Tanayā means daughter. Uttarasya tanayām upayema. And her name was Irāvatī, Irāvatī.
So in that, in the womb of Irāvatī, Mahārāja Parīkṣit begotten four sons. The first one's name is Janamejaya. Ādi. Ādi means "beginning with." He begotten four sons, beginning with Janamejaya. The history of Janamejaya is also very nice. (aside:) You can read the Janamejaya paragraph.
And one thing I can see very practical, that in this age, lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. It is stated there that people will think that by keeping long hairs they will become very beautiful. That is stated there. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. Husband and wife's relation will depend on the strength of sex. These are described there. Svīkāra eva codvāhe. Marriage will be performed simply by agreement.
Now, this is śāstra. Five thousand years ago, what was written, that is now becoming true. Now there is no marriage as it was taking formerly, Vedic marriage. The father (and) mother will select the bride, bridegroom, and there will be gorgeous ceremony and marriage. The father will spend... Both parties, the girl's father and the boy's father, will spend.
The father will spend... Both parties, the girl's father and the boy's father, will spend. Still in India, there are cases like that. They'll spend their hard-earned money during the marriage ceremony of their son and daughter. But in this age, gradually, it is said, svīkāra eva codvāhe. Udvāha means marriage, taking the charge of the girl. The boy takes charge of the young girl from the custody of her father. This is marriage. Woman, according to Vedic civilization, they are not recommended freedom. They should be taken care just like children are taken care of. You cannot give independence to the children. That is not possible. Then it is not good for them. Similarly, woman also should be taken care of. They should not be given freedom. That is not good for them.
In the Bhagavad-gītā it is said dharma aviruddhaḥ kāmo 'smi. Sex life, which is not illicit, according to the regulative principle of Vedic literature, that kind of sex life, Kṛṣṇa says, "I am that." That means that is pious, that is not sinful. Illicit sex life is sinful, but, I mean to say, marriage, that is also one of the function of religiosity. Just like we perform marriage ceremony under fire sacrifice, mantra. So that is legalized. Similarly, meat-eating also... First of all, the first-class men, second-class men and third-class men, means the brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya and vaiśya, they were not interested in meat-eating. Only the fourth-class men and fifth-class men, they were allowed or they were eating meat. Nobody is allowed. But the first-class, second-class men, they have got sense. They voluntarily give up. But the third-class fourth-class, fifth-class men, they do not. Up to fourth-class, they also abide.
The lawful meat-eaters mean as enjoined by the śāstra, because meat eating is not required, not at all required. In the śāstra it is said, loke vyavāyāmiṣa-madya-sevā nityā hi jantor na hi tatra codanā. In the śāstras, there is recommendation that "You can eat meat under certain certain condition. You can drink under certain conditions. You can marry, sex life, under certain conditions." Loke vyavāyāmiṣa-madya-sevā. Vyavāya means sex; and āmiṣa means meat eating; and madya-sevā, drinking, intoxication.
So eko bahūnāṁ yo vidadhāti. Whatever necessities of life we have got—we require so many things—that is supplied by eka, that one living entity. That is the difference. We cannot maintain even a small family, our capacity is so limited. At the present moment especially, in this age, a man does not like to marry because he's unable to maintain even a family, wife and children. He cannot maintain them, even a family consisting of four or five living entities.
But God is the whole family. Eko yo bahūnāṁ vidadhāti. He's supplying food to the elephants. We are, we are so much advanced in civilization that because we cannot take care of a child, therefore we are killing child even within the womb of mother, abortion. We are so unfit. But God, you see, He's feeding millions of elephants in the Africa. Not only elephants, there are so many.
It is a very abominable condition of life. Now these things are very prominent in the Western countries especially. In India they are still dragging the Vedic culture. So woman are given protection. The father gives protection to the woman, child, and up to sixteen years, utmost. Then she must be married. The father's duty will be finished when the daughter is given to a suitable boy to take charge. That is marriage system. Marriage system is that it is necessary, necessary for social equilibrium. And it is the duty of the father to get the daughter married to a suitable boy. And when she is married, then the father's duty is finished. Unless she is married, the father's duty is not finished. This is Vedic culture. It is called kanyā-dāya. Kanyā means daughter, and dāya means obligation. Kanyā-dāya.
Therefore the word is used, kanyā-dāya. Still in India, the process is as soon as the girl is grown up the father is very anxious to find out a suitable boy and hand her over. Then... So that protection will be finished. It is already finished, at least in the western countries. There is no obligation of the father how to get the daughter married. Therefore the question is, "Whether you are lamenting that in this age of Kali these things will happen: cow slaughter, no obligation for the daughter..." And bālān, children. They are also not taken care of. Not only that, they are taken care of, but now child or baby is being killed. This is Kali-yuga. This is conclusion(?)
So if we eat more, then more sleeping. If we eat less, then less sleeping. Eating, sleeping, mating. And mating should be avoided. That is a great stricture. Sex life should be minimized as far as possible. Therefore we have got this restriction, "No illicit sex." Sex life, we don't say... That you cannot do, nobody can do. Therefore sex life means married life, a little concession. A license, "All right, you take this license." But not illicit sex. Then you'll never be able.
So eating, sleeping, mating and defending. And defending, we are defending in so many ways, but still, war is there, and the onslaught of material nature... Your country is defending so nicely, but now the petrol is taken away. You cannot defend. Similarly, everything can be taken away at any moment. So depend on Kṛṣṇa for defending, defenses. Avaśya rakṣibe kṛṣṇa. This is called surrender.
"I promise," the younger said, "Sir, you are talking before Kṛṣṇa. If you regret from this promise, it will be great offense." Because he was seeing Kṛṣṇa. And when he was asked, "Who was your witness?" he said, "Kṛṣṇa is witness." And his eldest son took the opportunity, "All right, if your Kṛṣṇa comes and gives witness, then my sister will be married with you." Because he is atheist. He was thinking, "Kṛṣṇa is not coming. Kṛṣṇa is not coming. It is made of marble statue, how Kṛṣṇa will come?" So he thought that "I have given him some chance which he will never be fulfilled." But to fulfill the words of the devotee, Kṛṣṇa came. Therefore He is called Sākṣi-Gopāla, witness Gopāla. So we must have faith. We must have faith and discharge duties according to the śāstra, guru, sādhu, then our spiritual life is guaranteed. If we manufacture something out of whims, that will not help us. This is the point.
| Page Title: | Marriage (Lectures, SB canto 1) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, RupaManjari |
| Created: | 30 of Mar, 2012 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=153, Con=0, Let=0 |
| No. of Quotes: | 153 |