Marriage (Conversations 1977)

Expressions researched:
"marriage" |"marriageable" |"marriages" |"married" |"marries" |"marrige" |"marry" |"marrying" |"matrimonial" |"remarriage" |"remarried" |"remarry" |"wedlock"

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Conversation with Yogi Amrit Desai of Kripalu Ashram (PA USA) -- January 2, 1977, Bombay:

Yogi Amrit Desai: That is the strongest bond between the..., to the body and the soul.

Prabhupāda: He is asat. He doesn't... We say that strī-saṅgī, to associate with woman without marriage, we say, "Don't do this," but Caitanya Mahāprabhu says, either illicit or legal, it is asat.

Yogi Amrit Desai: Either married or unmarried, it is not.

Prabhupāda: It is asat. Therefore, when He was twenty-four years' age, He gave up His young..., home, wife. He became a sannyāsī, practically. And He was very, very strict to talk with woman. No woman could come before Him to offer respect. Little from far off. But His one of the personal associates, he simply desired. Immediately he was rejected, Choṭa Haridāsa.

Conversation with Yogi Amrit Desai of Kripalu Ashram (PA USA) -- January 2, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: In our childhood I saw. To go weekend to the garden and... Generally they go with family, and others, they go with prostitute. With prostitute they have got freedom to handle. The higher... And not only that, during marriage ceremony, high circle marriage ceremony, they would participate in drinking, even men and women. Otherwise, in India, woman drinking or taking meat is a horrible crime. And what to speak of smoking? That is most shameless. That was aristocratic, drinking and eating meat... The Bengali, they were the richer section because others, they were foreigners. They came to Calcutta and earned money. And the Bengalis, they had their aristocratic families, zamindaries, everything in their occupation. So Bengalis were richer section in Calcutta, and..., four, five big, big families.

Room Conversation -- January 3, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: They have no time to waste time in that way. They must be inclined that "I must prepare something nice so that my husband, my children or my, all friends will be very pleased." That is their policy. I wanted that all our girls, they should be expert. And in America they are doing that. They should learn the art of cooking and prepare very nice foodstuffs, daily change of menu. And the children should be so trained up that no more birth. And that is life. They can produce hundreds of children, it doesn't matter, but must be responsible that "The children should be saved. This is the last birth, no more birth. I'll train the child in such a way that next life he's going to Kṛṣṇa, back to home, back to Godhead." That is parent's duty. Otherwise they should not become parent. That is contraceptive: "I am not fit to train my children in that way, so I shall not produce cats and dogs." This is life. Why shall I produce cats and dogs? And Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura was gṛhastha, he produced Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī. That is one... So in this way, if there is ideal institution, ideal mode of living, it is happy; everything is all right. That is gṛhastha. Produce Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī. My Guru Mahārāja used to say that "If I can produce kṛṣṇa-bhakta as children, then I'm prepared to marry and produce hundreds of children."

Room Conversation -- January 5, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Here also, in Gujarat, they wear black, black sari.

Hari-śauri: Yes, right. And they wear black, and they don't dress attractively at all, and there's no question of marrying again.

Prabhupāda: And Russia also, respectable widows, they used to live in widow's home. They would never marry.

Hari-śauri: And they would wear black too.

Prabhupāda: I have seen that house when I was in Moscow. That was one of the... What is called...? They go to see, especially tourists.

Room Conversation -- January 5, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: That, no. Sightseeing. So anyway, they took us to a house.

Hari-śauri: Oh, you went on a sightseeing tour.

Prabhupāda: Ah, yes, that "Here, respectable widows." In Russia, after being widow, they used to live along with other respectable widows. They would never marry. Widow house. Live with queens and other respectable ladies. This was...

Hari-śauri: Now I think about seven or eight marriages out of every ten in Russia end up in divorce.

Prabhupāda: Everywhere.

Hari-śauri: Yeah.

Prabhupāda: So we shall go?

Morning Walk -- January 6, 1976, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, no, I mean to say, Nobel prize is given from...

Dr. Patel: He migrated to America. He married a (indistinct) girl, and he made a original discovery in genetic code, and then he got a Nobel prize. These people did not (indistinct).

Indian Lady: (Hindi)

Prabhupāda: (Hindi) ...we don't say like that. Samaḥ sarveṣu bhūteṣu...

Dr. Patel: He's very kind man.

Prabhupāda: Kind man, so we are not also bad man.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: When one is fully Kṛṣṇa conscious, then he'll reject all this nonsense: "What is this?" Bhavati mukha-vikāraḥ suṣṭhu. He'll spite (spit): "Eh! Get out. Is that enjoyment?" It is possible for a Kṛṣṇa conscious... No other can do it. And that is the bondage. He'll have to work hard for maintaining sex issues. And so long you are bound up by the karmas, you have to accept another body and then continue. Who knows this how we are bound up and conditioned? If you talk in the modern society they will laugh: "What nonsense this man is... 'By sex life one becomes conditioned.' " They cannot understand. Hare Kṛṣṇa... (japa) This should be strictly outlawed, no more sannyāsīs. And those sannyāsīs who have fallen, you get them married, live like a... No more this showbottle, cheating. It is very ludicrous. Even there is a promise that "We shall not fall down again," that is also not believable. What is the use?

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: That is very prestigious everywhere. Why this false dress? What is the wrong to become gṛhastha? I was gṛhastha, pākā caliber gṛhastha. My Guru Mahārāja was brahmacārī, This is ever... Just see his character. Caitanya Mahāprabhu was gṛhastha, but when He took sannyāsa: "Oh, I am now..." For sober person. That is wanted. That is ideal. He married twice. Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura married twice. Caitanya Mahāprabhu married twice. What is the wrong there? One has to become pure devotee, that's all. Other things, of course, are circumstantially favorable, either a gṛhastha, brahmacārī or vānaprastha or sannyāsa. Kibā vipra kibā śūdra nyāsī kene naya, yei kṛṣṇa-tattva-vettā sei 'guru' haya (CC Madhya 8.128). You must know the science of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That makes you guru, not this dress. So what you are thinking of American program? Do it seriously. Balavanta is very expert. And all of you are expert. And do it seriously and systematically, not change the position, this side and this, change.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Dr. Patel: I used to treat his family. I was doctor. And I stopped treating him because he has not, he was so envious. He has got half a dozen girls in his family. I mean, where you will get...

Prabhupāda: In Kali-yuga there is no marriage. Svīkāra eva codvāhe. Agreement.

Trivikrama: By agreement.

Dr. Patel: That is in Western countries.

Prabhupāda: No, everywhere. India also.

Dr. Patel: Marriages are brought in famine (?) and they are never broken down again.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Dr. Patel: Marriages are brought in famine (?) and they are never broken down again.

Prabhupāda: No, in big, big cities there is a marriage magistrate. You go... The boys and girls go and register there...

Dr. Patel: Yes, but here...

Prabhupāda: No, no. Marriage is, therefore, what is called primitive. Primitive. Modern marriage is primitive.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Dr. Patel: I think also that is correct. In your time, sir, you never used to see the girl from the year before the marriage. In our times, we never used to see the girl before the marriage. I never saw my wife. She was in Mahatma Gandhi's āśrama, and I was on this side. I never saw. And we lived very happily.

Prabhupāda: No, in my marriage, it was already settled. So one day I was going in cycle. So my father-in-law forcibly took me. (chuckles)

Dr. Patel: So those marriage, sir, sometimes they never forget.(?)

Prabhupāda: No. My wife was eleven years old.

Dr. Patel: My wife was sixteen years when I married her. I was nineteen.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Dr. Patel: My wife was sixteen years when I married her. I was nineteen.

Trivikrama: Eleven years!

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Dr. Patel: That was nothing! They would marry at the age of five.

Prabhupāda: My mother-in-law was married at seven years. And my father-in-law was eleven years.

Dr. Patel: A friend of mine was telling together in the high school, and he married when he was a boy of eleven years a girl of nine. And he was sleeping when he was...

Prabhupāda: Even Dr. Rajendraprasad, he was married at eight years.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Even Dr. Rajendraprasad, he was married at eight years.

Dr. Patel: Eight years. Rajendraprasad, first president of India.

Prabhupāda: And the marriage party was waiting, and he was sleeping, and when the opportune moment came, "Get up! Get up! Now you have to sit down in the..."

Dr. Patel: I think Nehru married at the age of eighteen years.

Prabhupāda: He was up-to-date, English-returned. He was Gandhi's student.

Dr. Patel: These boys make love and marry. And we marry and make love. (laughs) This is the background of Indian womanhood, this religion. That keeps up the sacredness of the Hindu marriage.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, everywhere there is religion, in Europe, America. Church. Church. Marriage was taken in church.

Dr. Patel: The Catholic marriages are indissolvable. They can't remarry. Now they have done it.

Prabhupāda: Now you have also done in India, so many.

Dr. Patel: We have got a government law, that sue the fellow for dissolution. Hindus. Mr. Nehru has done-great service to his community. (japa) (break)

Prabhupāda: ...aerodrome is near.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Why shall I artificially seek after father or...?" And what protection, for a few days either the father or the son or the husband may give? Real protection is Kṛṣṇa. This is temporary, but because we have got this material body we require some. In this way... And this kind of hypocrisy—they have taken sannyāsa and mixing with woman. This is not to be allowed. If you want woman you get yourself married, live respectfully. We have no objection. But this hypocrisy should be stopped. There have been so many fallen down. First of all there will be no sannyāsī anymore. I have got very bad experience. And at least, we are not going to create new sannyāsīs. And those who have fallen down, let them marry, live like respectable gentlemen. I have no objection. After all, young man, fallen down—that's all right. It is by nature's way. But marry that girl.

Room Conversation -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Kṛṣi-go-rakṣya-vāṇijyaṁ vaiśya-karma svabhāva-jam (BG 18.44). We have the statement in the Bhagavad-gītā. So we have to do this. It is not fashion. It is the fact, sir. And those who want to become immediately paramahaṁsa... Paramahaṁsa does not mean some bogus men. Just like that paramahaṁsa advised our Bhagatji, "Anyone going out of Vṛndāvana..." He did not marry for this purpose. You know that letter? Then he stopped. Paramahaṁsa has gone away. And paramahaṁsa is looking after woman, a very beautiful woman.

Room Conversation -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etat. This is the basic principle of... A man and woman is married; the purpose is sex. Now, when he's married, ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair. "Then where shall I enjoy sex? I must have very nice apartment, gṛha. Then I must maintain myself, kṣetra." Formerly agriculture was the source of maintenance. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra. "Then I get some children, suta, then some friends." Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-suta apta vitta. "Then money." In this way, janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti: (SB 5.5.8) "He increases this paraphernalia, and he becomes entangled:" Ahaṁ mam... "I am the proprietor; I am the father; I am this; I am that." And one day, nature's law comes, gives him a slap: "Get out!" Finished.

Morning Discussion about Kumbhamela -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No. Our government, they have to manage so many people. The Nagas... I learned it from Bhāgavatam.

Dr. Patel: Nagas come from Assam, no?

Prabhupāda: Yes. Arjuna married the Naga king's daughter. And he had a son.

Dr. Patel: Babhruvāhana.

Prabhupāda: No, Babhruvāhana is Manipur.

Dr. Patel: Ilavan.

Prabhupāda: Ilavan, yes.

Dr. Patel: Ilavan was the son of Nagas.

Prabhupāda: Nagakanya.

Morning Discussion about Kumbhamela -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, they were civilized. Otherwise...

Dr. Patel: Western civilization, I mean to say.

Prabhupāda: Otherwise, how Arjuna could marry?

Dr. Patel: Fourth-class civilization. In Naga races there is polyandry, sir. One woman can...

Prabhupāda: Still there are, in Himalayan hills. One woman has got five husbands.

Dr. Patel: Because they have got shortage of men.

Prabhupāda: Whatever it may be, the system is there. I think in America also.

Dr. Patel: No, no. America, secret polyandry.

Morning Discussion about Kumbhamela -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Gurudāsa: Sometimes. Not legally.

Dr. Patel: That is why I said "secret" polyandry. This is official. Some of the Himalayan and Katwa, they... One brother marries and then she becomes the wife of two, three brothers. That is legal.

Prabhupāda: No... In here also the system was if one is childless, husband is dead or could not produce, she can take help of the husband's brothers. Devareṇa sutotpati: with the help of husband's brother to get child.

Trivikrama: But in Kali-yuga that's been...

Prabhupāda: That is forbidden. Kalau pañca vivarjayet (CC Adi 17.164).

Morning Discussion about Kumbhamela -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Yes. His forefathers from Sylhet. Jagannātha Miśra, His father came from Sylhet to Navadvipa for studying. Then Nilambara Cakravartī got him married with his daughter, Caitanya Mahāprabhu's mother. And he resided in Nabadwip.

Gurudāsa: There's one temple in Vṛndāvana where they have Deities of Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityānanda that look like Manipur. They made His eyes like that.

Prabhupāda: That is not so good. If you make any picture, then you paint according to the people's, local people's feature. Kata catur anana, mani mani yāvat. Vidyāpati. You have heard the name of Vidyāpati? He was a great poet of Darbhanga.

Discussion on Deprogrammers -- January 9, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, no. Why not take this... Suppose he is attracted by some woman. Let him dress like a gentleman and keep with the woman as husband and wife and preach. What is the wrong there? Whatever is done, you close up that chapter. Now you become a householder. There is no harm. And live as a gentleman householder and preach. But don't play duplicity in the dress of sannyāsī to keep private relations. That is not good. That is duplicity. Better openly become a respectable householder and serve Kṛṣṇa. Our service is main thing, either in this dress or that dress. So if you cannot keep yourself sincerely as a sannyāsī, then get yourself married. But you cannot keep the girl as friend. That is also not good.

Discussion on Deprogrammers -- January 9, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: That is his choice. But we say that "Don't be hypocrite." That's all. If he thinks now he'll be able to continue as a sannyāsī, he'll not fall down, he'll be careful, let him continue. That will depend on his sincerity. But I say that if you cannot remain as a sannyāsī, get yourself married, live like a gentleman and serve Kṛṣṇa. Why should you give up Kṛṣṇa's service? That is my point. As you want to live, any way, comfortably, do it. We never condemned gṛhasthas. If sannyāsa is not suitable for you, you remain as a gṛhastha. What is the wrong there?

Conversation on Train to Allahabad -- January 11, 1977, India:

Rāmeśvara: His argument was that when Kṛṣṇa was here, He was having friendship with the gopīs, who were married to other men.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Rāmeśvara: This is immoral.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Rāmeśvara: God never acts in an immoral way.

Prabhupāda: So that you have made, immoral. Because if He is the proprietor, then He is the proprietor of everything. You have accepted one woman who belongs to Kṛṣṇa. You are immoral. He is the original proprietor of everything, and everything belongs to Him, but He has given you one woman. Tena tyaktena. But no woman belongs to you. So you should stop connection with women. It is immoral. Otherwise every woman belongs to Kṛṣṇa. How you can use Kṛṣṇa's property? That is the disease, that we are trying to enjoy Kṛṣṇa's property. Kṛṣṇa's the proprietor. Bhoktāraṁ yajña-tapasāṁ sarva... (BG 5.29).

Conversation on Train to Allahabad -- January 11, 1977, India:

Prabhupāda: There is no question of argument.

Rāmeśvara: No. He's not arguing that.

Prabhupāda: You cannot do. You are so poor that you are afraid to marry because you have to take so much responsibility.

Rāmeśvara: He wants to know, then, why didn't Jesus Christ say all these things about Kṛṣṇa?

Prabhupāda: Jesus may be fool. That doesn't mean everyone should be fool.

Rāmeśvara: They believe Jesus came to this world to teach people about God.

Conversation on Train to Allahabad -- January 11, 1977, India:

Prabhupāda: Then, sixteen thousand, sixteen millions He can have. Why, if He's unlimited? What is wrong there? If He's unlimited, why sixteen thousand? If He marries sixteen million, sixteen billion, still, it is not sufficient. Otherwise there is no meaning of unlimited. Why you restrict God to sixteen or one? God is under your restriction, and He's still unlimited? That means you do not know what is God. You do not know what is God. You are mistaken.

Rāmeśvara: But very often they will say, "It is not a question of religion that we are concerned with. It is a question of brainwashing and mind control. Your chanting so many hours a day, it's hypnotizing."

Prabhupāda: So, what is to you? That is my business. Why do you bother yourself?

Conversation on Train to Allahabad -- January 11, 1977, India:

Jagadīśa: The fathers and mothers are also breaking. Divorce.

Prabhupāda: Father and mother, yes. Why they divorce?

Hari-śauri: Seven out of ten marriages.

Prabhupāda: Within two weeks, three divorce.

Rāmeśvara: That's a very good point.

Hari-śauri: They have no family unit to speak of, anyway.

Prabhupāda: It is surprising. If one gentleman lives for life as husband and wife, it is a very surprising thing in your country that they have lived so long as husband and wife.

Room Conversation -- January 21, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: ...sees practically.

Gargamuni: These people, though, who follow these processes, they don't dedicate their lives. They follow it for two years, then they get married and they forget the whole thing. While they're students...

Prabhupāda: It is a hobby.

Gargamuni: Yes. In college. In college they do it, and when they're out of college they get married and go to work. They forget it.

Rāmeśvara: Many ordinary businessmen and middle-class people have spent the money and practiced Transcendental Meditation for a little bit, and they say it has helped them. It has given them peace of mind for a little bit.

Room Conversation -- January 21, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Rāmeśvara: There was one question I had, Śrīla Prabhupāda. You have written in the Third Volume of the First Canto different instructions for the age of Kali, how there'll be compulsory marriage and so on and so on. And you mentioned about the gold standard, that this is very bad, this artificial standard of monetary exchange.

Prabhupāda: Oh, yes. It is very bad.

Rāmeśvara: In the future this is something that we should try to correct.

Prabhupāda: You should introduce coin, real money.

Hari-śauri: Real gold coins. No paper.

Room Conversation -- January 21, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Ten children each. You cannot say that "He was impotent; therefore He could not make the gopīs pregnant." That you cannot say, because when He married, He begot ten children, each wife, sixteen thousand wives, and sixteen thousand, ten.

Hari-śauri: 160,000.

Prabhupāda: And their children, their children. The Yadu-vaṁśa was a very big family, one crore. So you cannot say that "He was impotent." And God cannot be impotent. But why they were not pregnant? Hm?

Hari-śauri: 'Cause He never had...

Room Conversation -- January 21, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: But God cannot make mistake. Then He becomes imper... He cannot be good. And not all fathers... According to Vedic civilization, the father creates the son purposefully with some ceremony, garbhādāna ceremony. It is not secret job. Putrethi kriyate bharyā: "One is married to create a good son." That is the purpose. And Bhagavad-gītā says, dharmāviruddha. "Aviruddha, which is not against religion, that kind of lust I am." So how it can be accident? If there is garbhādāna ceremony and son is essential, then how it can be accident?

Gargamuni: Even in the big, rich families, when they want son they perform some pūjā.

Room Conversation -- January 21, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: No. This is the way. "But you are not able? All right, take little more time."

Hari-śauri: So, say like one point now that's coming up more and more is that these married couples, the women want a divorce or get another husband.

Prabhupāda: But we should not implicate.

Hari-śauri: So we cannot encourage divorce.

Prabhupāda: No. We do not meddle matters in that way very much. That is a sideline.

Rāmeśvara: And one thing about government that we see, at least in America, is that each time there is an election the candidates may make so many pledges, "I think I'll go this way."

Room Conversation with Film Producer about Krsna Lila -- January 22, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Take prasāda. Generally... Of course, I do not know what you have done. Generally they present rasa-līlā. They describe rasa-līlā. These professional Bhāgavata means they immediately begin to recite rasa-līlā. Bhāgavata reading dissertation means rasa-līlā. And people take in a different way, that "Kṛṣṇa was woman-hunter. He married sixteen thousand wives, and He had three hundred thousand gopīs, and He was enjoying with woman. Just see." I saw one doctor. He was a debauch. He was Muhammadan. So his friend came. So... In Calcutta. So he was addressing, kibava Kṛṣṇa.(?) Just see. Kṛṣṇa means debauch.

Morning Walk -- January 24, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Yes. And they also know. If you have got lance in hand they will not attack.

Bhāgavata: It is a custom that if they want to marry, first they must kill one lion with a spear. Then they can..., considered man for marriage, qualified.

Prabhupāda: Just see. (laughs) Kṣatriya spirit. Kṣatriya spirit. Just qualify yourself. Then you marry.

Bhāgavata: (laughing) Gargamuni Mahārāja says we should introduce this in ISKCON.

Morning Walk -- January 24, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Gargamuni: Then there'll be no marriage. (break)

Prabhupāda: ...of kṣatriya. Kṣatriya girls were not married so easily. There were so many competitors. You know Rukmiṇī, Rukmiṇī-haraṇa? Kṛṣṇa had to fight. Without fighting there was no marriage.

Hari-śauri: Now we have fighting after marriage. (laughter)

Prabhupāda: Fight your wife, not with a lion. Poor woman, helpless, no father, no husband, no son. This is the civilization. They are forlorn, and they are forced to take the profession of... What is that? What is that advertisement? Forget... Upper and down...? What is that?

Morning Walk -- January 24, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Not only that, I have seen that if one woman is speaking... He (she) was sitting. I am going. "Oh, she has got a husband." Immediately I studied all this, this happening of her life. She was... She became very surprised that he's (she's), her friend had a husband.

Gurukṛpa: Thing is that the marriages are simply based on sex. Therefore the marriages don't last long.

Prabhupāda: That means they want permanent husband. That is their heart's desire, but no husband. Is that civilization? And here the father's duty is that "Before she attains puberty, let me find out husband, suitable." This is civilization. "And she was under my care, I give in charity to a suitable boy: 'My dear boy, you take charge of this girl. I give you some dowry and decorate that girl. Be happy.' "

Morning Walk -- January 24, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: That's it.

Satsvarūpa: And that they're not allowed to mix freely. They say, "Well how do you know who you want to marry unless you can mix with that person?"

Prabhupāda: There is no question of "how do you want?" You require, and the parents is the best selector. It is not the question, "How do you like?" It is the guardians' duty to find out a suitable husband or a suitable wife. Nowadays the boys and girls, they do not take parents' guidance, and they are not happy.

Hari-śauri: The thing is the parents are not qualified to give any guidance any more either.

Morning Walk -- January 24, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Qualified, that is not very difficult. For the girl, find out a boy who is hard worker or a little educated. Bas. That's all. That was the selection. Then fortune. You give a daughter under the care of the boy who can work hard. That's all. They then will earn their livelihood. Even there is no education, a hard worker will do. A boy, as soon as has got the sense that "I have got a wife to maintain," he'll work. That is impetus to give him to work for the family. And if a boy gets wife or woman without any hard working, they why he should marry? And if he has got responsibility that "I have to maintain my wife; then I can enjoy," then he becomes responsible. Wooden bridge?

Morning Walk -- January 25, 1977, Puri:

Gargamuni: We can walk on the beach. It's a very smooth beach, the sand. (break)

Prabhupāda: ...I was jumping here. (laughter) 1920 or '21, I came. After my appearing in examination, B.A. test, I came here. By that time I was married. I was married in 1918. (break) Because jubilant, I was jumping. When the waves come, I was jumping, the waves passed. There was one guide, he taught me, Babuji, ei sakava.(?)

Gargamuni: They wear those hats.

Prabhupāda: Yes. (break) ...'20, and it is 1977. How many years?

Gurukṛpa: Fifty-seven years.

Room Conversation with Svarupa Damodara -- January 30, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Svarūpa Dāmodara: They have intermarriage within the kingly families. The Manipur and Nepal. There is marriage.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: They have intermarriage.

Prabhupāda: Yes. They are kṣatriyas. Manipur, they are kṣatriyas, and Nepal is also kṣatriya. Is also? Bopal? Bopal.(?) They are kṣatriyas?

Pradyumna: Bhutani.

Prabhupāda: Bhutan. Bhutan, yes. Not Bopal. Bopal is in... In Bhutan.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: Nepal, Bhutan, and Manipur.

Morning Walk -- January 31, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: He is openly. His philosophy is how to enjoy women, tantric.

Satsvarūpa: Yes. He advertises sex for..., yoga for two. He has a special price that a couple can come and learn tantra-yoga in America. And then Guru Maharaj-ji, he married.

Prabhupāda: Tantra-yoga means they will have sex, and he will be able not to discharge. That is tantra-yoga. The woman likes a man who does not easily discharge. This is tantra-yoga. So he is teaching that art or science. They will prove their tantric success that while sex there is no discharge.

Satsvarūpa: I spoke to one of them and said that for spiritual life you had to refrain from sex, and he said, "No. If you do this enough, then you will not have any more desire." Otherwise if you just refrain, that is not as thorough.

Room Conversation -- January 31, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Yogeśvara: That means, perhaps, a gṛhastha couple, so that there's some girl for her to be with. (break)

Prabhupāda: ...not married. Better if she would have been married. So there is no candidate for marrying her?

Yogeśvara: Not in France. At one point she was expressing the desire to receive some training, and she even mentioned Los Angeles. But any center where she could receive training would be helpful. She's enthusiastic, but...

Prabhupāda: Yes. I know that she's enthusiastic.

Room Conversation -- January 31, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Yes. I know that she's enthusiastic.

Yogeśvara: She had... (break)

Prabhupāda: Preaching work is meant for the sannyāsīs, not for the married persons. Sannyāsī and brahmacārī, they go... (microphone rattling) Married couple also go... Generally it is meant for that. So if you have got sufficient men for preaching work, so you can make one center here and traveling...

Yogeśvara: Yes.

Prabhupāda: So. GBC... What I can do?

Hari-śauri: The second language is French, isn't it?

Evening Darsana -- February 15, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Cow dung. Cow dung, no. Man's dung. (laughter) Cow dung is pure. Man's dung. In our youthful ages we used to say, dadang dang.(?) Our one professor, Mr. Cameron, English professor, he was Scotsman. In our I.A. class or B.A. class he was... So that time Patel's Bin(?), intercaste marriage... We were young man. We were supporting. So before the professor's coming in the blackboard we wrote, "Dadang dang Patel's Bin dang," (?)and like that, in Bengali. So Professor Cameron came. He saw, "The boys, they have written something." So he simply read it, remained silent. Then he began his teaching. Then when the hour is over, he erased the blackboard, and he wrote. He wrote in this way-jakhan tomār biye pas korbe, takhan tomār biye kote pade.(?) He wrote it and read it. So the purport is that tomār jana.... "When you'll pass your B.A. examination, then you'll be allowed to marry.

Evening Darsana -- February 15, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Some were, not all. And the Muhammadans, the could not convert any gentleman to Muhammadanism. Maybe one or two, say. Very... And similarly, Christian also. No high-class man became Christian. One or two. That is for some other purpose. Just like in Scottish Churches College, the Christian Indians were given more preference. There was one Mr. Raya. He would not speak in Bengali. Even if some Bengali student would like to talk with him Bengali, he would answer in English. (laughs) He was so sharp. (Bengali) (Hindi) You understand Hindi any of you? There is a song in the Howrah Bridge, pontoon bridge. So when this Howrah Bridge..., not this bridge. Up to 1900... When my daughter was married, in 1941, up to that time there was a bridge connecting Howrah and Calcutta, pontoon bridge.

Evening Darsana -- February 15, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Careless.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Oh, one girl now... There's a devotee named Madhusūdana. You may remember one of your disciples. His name is Madhusūdana. Anyway, his cousin has joined us in New York. So this boy, he's married to a girl who was the chief nurse for the biggest neurosurgeon in America, who operated on Kennedy, a very big man. So she told us something about the medical profession, some examples. She said the American doctors are extremely cruel.

Prabhupāda: Cruel they must be. They're eating meat, rākṣasas.

Morning Room Conversation -- February 16, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: And they have introduced gambling.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And homosex.

Prabhupāda: Homosex, what is that religion? And they're passing to homosex, religion. They're getting married man to man. Most degraded.

Hari-śauri: There's no difference between the behavior of a priest and the behavior of a gross atheist...

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Hari-śauri: ...except he's dressed as a priest.

Prabhupāda: That's all. Dress only.

Hari-śauri: But they have exactly the same mentality.

Morning Room Conversation -- February 16, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Yes. They exploit the sentiment.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: A man, when he thinks of his occupation, he thinks, "I can still get married and be the leader of the church. I'll get married, have a family, and this will be my profession, to be a priest."

Hari-śauri: Yes. That's what it is. It's a profession only.

Prabhupāda: Profession.

Hari-śauri: One of my friends was considering, "Shall I..." He had come to a point where he was thinking, "Now I'll either become a police officer or I'll become a priest." But he couldn't quite make his mind up.

Evening Darsana -- February 19, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: That is Kali's sign. Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. Five thousand years ago it was predicted, and now it is happening. Just see. This is śāstra. Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. "Younger generation will think by keeping long hair they have become beautiful." It is mentioned in Bhāgavata. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi: "Marriage means sex life." As soon as there is disturbance in rati, it is divorce.

Satsvarūpa: This is two years old. "The deep roots of India's food plight."

Prabhupāda: That's not... New...

Evening Darsana -- February 19, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Former paisa, when sixty-four paisa was one rupee. Now hundred equal to one. The purchasing power of money was big. Now thirty percent has gone up, but people's income has not gone up so much. Thirty percent, thirty times. Formerly gold was priced twenty rupees per tolā. Now it is six hundred rupees. So thirty times. But people have not increased their income thirty times. My father was earning two hundred fifty to three hundred per month. So we were middle class. So now thirty times of three hundred means nine thousand. So which middle-class man has increased so much? Middle class man now, if he's earning one thousand rupees he's considered very well-to-do. But what is that one thousand rupees? Nothing. My father had from one business, one hundred rupees, from another business sixty rupees, and we had a house rented, eighty rupees. Eighty rupees, sixty rupees and hundred rupees. How much? Two hundred forty, plus something more. Utmost, three hundred. And in our house four, five guests was always present. It didn't matter. Besides that, he was inviting some Vaiṣṇava, some sādhu. He married four daughters, and we were eating very sumptuously, daily two and half kg milk. Two annas per kg. Very nice milk. This man was coming from outside Calcutta. So we were so many children. We would stand, "Give some phāo:" Two half kg's milk and half kg phāo. He wouldn't mind.

Room Conversation with Adi-kesava Swami -- February 19, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: No, we... "It is voluntary. In our society we find so many brahmacārīs, so many gṛhasthas. And if you cannot stop this itching sensation, all right, marry one girl and live peacefully like a gentle... What is this nonsense, every three weeks divorce? We are not so rascal. If we accept one girl as my wife, I take full responsibility. Because I require a girl or woman, so this woman, that one... We are not so rascal that at home I have got woman, I am searching after another woman, another naked woman. We are not so madman. The sex pleasure is there at home, and I am seeking after sex pleasure in here, here, in the club, in the... What is that? Is that vagina is different? You are so fool. You require vagina; take one vagina.

Room Conversation -- February 19, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Hm. Just like our Rādhā-Dāmodara temple, it was established... This temple was established by Jīva Gosvāmī. He was brahmacārī. So how these gosvāmīs, they are worshiping? He had no sons. It was... The temple was established by him, but the worship was transferred to the gṛhasthas bhakta. So they are doing by generation. All these Vṛndāvana temples, Govindajī temple, Rādhā-Ramaṇa temple, Rādhā-Dāmodara. Rādhā-Ramaṇa temple, he was also brahmacārī, Gopāla Bhaṭṭa. He did not marry. Jīva Gosvāmī was brahmacārī. Sanātana Gosvāmī and Rūpa Gosvāmī, they sannyāsīs. So how these gṛhasthas got this sevā? They were disciples, gṛhasthas. So gṛhastha disciples were meant for worshiping Deity. And others, they are meant for preaching. This is the primary principle.

Room Conversations -- February 20, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Huh? (break) I think so.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And your wife wasn't so good.

Prabhupāda: Because she was always against Kṛṣṇa... My father said like that, that "You are so fortunate that you don't like your wife. Don't try to marry again."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You were thinking like that.

Prabhupāda: "You are fortunate." I took it seriously. "People try to give up the company of wife with great difficulty. You have natural tendency."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: It doesn't seem like your sons are very..., except for Vṛndāvana. None of the others come.

Prabhupāda: They are like mother.

Room Conversations -- February 20, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: He was little crazy. Might have gone away from home. Very intelligent boy he was. His mother made him crazy. Very... He was standing first in school. Very intelligent. She spoiled the whole family life. It was good for... For my youngest daughter I selected one very nice boy, rich man. She did not give. She wanted to keep her as her assistant, and she's not married.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Even now. How old? She must be forty-five years old.

Prabhupāda: Not so much. Older than Vṛndāvana.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So she must be thirty-five.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Thirty-five. Most irresponsible and lethargetic.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Very selfish to keep one's daughter not married.

Evening Darsana -- February 24, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Yes, yes. Yajñād bhavati parjanyaḥ (BG 3.14). (sound of thunder and rain) This time rainfall is very beneficial for crops. This is the way of living. You perform yajña, there will be rain. And as soon as the ground is moist, you can produce anything, whatever you want. Sarva-kāma-dughā mahī. From the field, you can get all your necessities of life. The first necessity is the food grain. So food grain you can eat, and the rejected grass portion, you give to the cows. So both the animal and the man get sufficient food. And the cows will give you nice milk, and from milk you can get butter, ghee, yogurt, so many nice sweetmeat. And there is ghee, and here is food grain, then you make kacuri, puri, samosā. Then sufficient foodstuff, nice, palatable, nutritious. First necessity is āhāra. You get sufficient āhāra. Then make little cottage for shelter. Just like there is rainfall. Now you require little... (thunder sounds) Āhāra, nidrā, bhaya, and sex. So marry.

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Rādhā-vallabha: Very intelligent boy.

Prabhupāda: Yes. He should be given letter.(?)

Rādhā-vallabha: Anyway, he made one arrangement with another devotee to marry this devotee's daughter.

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Rādhā-vallabha: He is nineteen years old, and he made arrangement with...

Prabhupāda: This boy?

Rādhā-vallabha: Yes. The boy that wrote that. And he made arrangement with another devotee to marry her daughter at a later date. She's only twelve. So I've told him not to do anything until I spoke to you, because I don't think this has ever been done in our movement yet.

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Rādhā-vallabha: I don't think anyone has ever done this before in our movement, the Vedic system. So I had a few questions about it. First of all I told them that they shouldn't associate until the actual time that they get married. That's true, isn't it?

Prabhupāda: No, no, marriage, they do not speak. That is the disease in your country, that... There is no objection nineteen-years-old boy and twelve-years girl, it is very good combination, but the culture is so bad that after few days they will separate.

Rādhā-vallabha: Yes. That's the actual problem.

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Rādhā-vallabha: Yes. That's the actual problem.

Prabhupāda: If they stick to have one husband and one wife, it is very good. Or even the man can marry more than one wife. That is allowed in the Vedic system. The difficulty is nobody remains as wife, nobody remains husband. It is very dangerous. That is against Vedic. Otherwise man can have more than one wife, but woman cannot marry more than one husband. But the system—the boys and girls intermingle so freely, and in your country there is no restriction—naturally it becomes adulterated. That is the danger.

Rādhā-vallabha: So he wanted to know that...

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Rādhā-vallabha: I will tell him that.

Prabhupāda: Otherwise there is no objection. I married; my wife was eleven years old.

Rādhā-vallabha: You were responsible, though.

Prabhupāda: Eh?

Rādhā-vallabha: But you were responsible.

Prabhupāda: Everyone in India responsible. That is Indian culture still.

Rādhā-vallabha: Should... When they agree at this young age, they should wait till they get older, right?

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Yes. Generally a girl attains puberty at fourteen years, thirteen years. In India because it is tropical climate... I think in Western countries they attain puberty not before fifteen, sixteen years. So although a girl is married before puberty, she is not allowed to go to the husband until she has attained puberty. Formerly, in our days also, after attaining puberty there is another second marriage. Then the husband and wife live together.

Rādhā-vallabha: Is there a minimum age for the man?

Prabhupāda: No. That is... Minimum age means generally the husband must be older than the wife, at least five years' difference.

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Rādhā-vallabha: What is the most amount of years they can be different? What is the maximum amount of years there can be difference?

Prabhupāda: Man has no maximum. Even an eighty-years-old man can marry a sixteen-years-old girl. (laughter)

Rādhā-vallabha: Because this one devotee has a daughter twelve and he wanted to marry her to a man twenty-six, but he thought that was too much difference.

Prabhupāda: Yes. That is too much difference. But eight years, ten years usual.

Rādhā-vallabha: Eight or ten years is best. So he also wanted to know if...

Prabhupāda: That is healthy.

Rādhā-vallabha: He wanted to know also...

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: And in no case... The girl must not be older than the boy. That's not good at all.

Rādhā-vallabha: At the time of the agreement, when they are not yet old enough, they do not associate at all. So not until the actual marriage do they associate or wear white or anything like that.

Prabhupāda: No, even they can be married, but no association.

Rādhā-vallabha: No association. So the boy can be... If the girl has attained puberty say at thirteen, fourteen, even if the boy is only twenty, twenty-one it is all right. All right. I wanted to make sure. I wasn't allowing them to see each other. I wanted to make sure they weren't doing anything un-bona fide.

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: I have no objection.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I'll see. He may not... I think he has other business. I'll find out.

Prabhupāda: So that Jagannātha, he has come? No.

Rādhā-vallabha: No. He has stayed back in L.A. He just got married, so he has business.

Prabhupāda: Let them... Let them do together.

Rādhā-vallabha: Yes. That's the system actually. There are some other... There actually is a big department. There are about eight or nine boys. They're all getting very good. Now Jagannātha had some questions on corrections in the book. In verse twenty-eight it says, "Then he worshiped Śrī Kṛṣṇa, the essence of all Vedas, with this hymn."

Room Conversation with GBC members -- March 2-3, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Husband, but why he does not marry them? (laughter)

Satsvarūpa: Well, sometimes there may be as many as twenty women in a party.

Kīrtanānanda: They would like to.

Prabhupāda: We have no objection if one marries more than one wife. That I have stated. But law does not allow it. So do the needful.

Satsvarūpa: Then, preaching centers: Preaching centers in the US can be opened by approval at the yearly meeting of the GBC...

Prabhupāda: Good.

Room Conversation with GBC members -- March 2-3, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: The devotees.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. And if there's good reaction from the people in the city, then later on we can propose to install Deities.

Satsvarūpa: Then we switched onto other topics. There was a resolution that there will be no marriages of girls until they are sixteen years old, not before.

Pañcadraviḍa: What about the schools?

Gargamuni: That's for America.

Rāmeśvara: In America.

Interview with Mr. Koshi (Asst. Editor of The Current Weekly) -- April 5, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: That is sinful. Don't you see, illicit sex, what havoc it has done?

Mr. Koshi: What exactly do you mean?

Prabhupāda: Illicit sex, do you think it is...?

Mr. Koshi: Outside marriage, you mean?

Prabhupāda: Yes. Not only outside marriage. Even in marriage, you cannot have sex as you like. You must have sex according to the regulative principle or religious principle.

Mr. Koshi: Could you explain?

Prabhupāda: Yes. Just like only for begetting nice children.

Mr. Koshi: For begetting?

Prabhupāda: Nice children.

Room Conversation about Harijanas -- April 10, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: His wife is also nice, but when they are combined together, they become little spoiled. He becomes little lusty. That is his wife's complaint. I got them married in San Francisco. (pause) So you can give another letter to the manager, Bank, "You take eighty thousand from current account and twenty thousand is coming from Calcutta. Both together, you make one M.M.D., M.M.D.A."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: For seven years.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Morning Conversation -- April 11, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, any knowledge. Just like modern scientists, they do. When they discover something, they give it. Go from university to university. Whatever... They may be wrong. They want to give it. That is the way. In India such vast knowledge, it is kept for professional Bhāgavata readers. How much harm they have done! Some professional Bhāgavata readers, it is their profession. And they will gather some woman and talk of rāsa-līlā and Bhāgavata reading. Some lady, old men, some woman, they will gather and sit down with their grammar,(?) karma-kāṇḍa. So that his material position will be better off. And the reciter will gather so many dozens of (indistinct) and umbrella and cloth, and take it away and sell it in the market, and employ it for his son's marriage, daughter's marriage. And this is called Bhāgavata. This is going on.

Room Conversation with Ratan Singh Rajda M.P. 'Nationalism and Cheating' -- April 15, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Our association.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Our society.

Prabhupāda: Those who are married society. These boys are begetting mostly girl, because they have lost their potency.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I know most of our life members, because they're a little bit regulated, mostly sons-three sons, one daughter; four sons, one daughter. It's very common.

Prabhupāda: Yes. If not equal quality...

Meeting with Mr. Dwivedi -- April 23, 1977, Bombay:

Mr. Dwivedi: I am leaving on the 25th night. Then, on... I am reaching there 26th night. On the 27th I have to attend the marriage of my younger brother's son. That will take about two days, to 27th and 28th. And then, then, till about the 3rd I am busy in the sense that our president of Abhesivasana(?), he expired recently. So he left two sons. They... They just need my little guidances in such matters, the young boys. Not young. Pretty old, but yet, because they, being the sons of a yajnirdatta(?), did not much look up to the work, now suddenly the responsibility has fallen over their heads. So... But after the 3rd or 4th, I am free.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That's good, gives a little time for preparing.

Mr. Dwivedi: The weather at our headquarters is always pleasant. Summer, very pleasant. You'll gain in weight.

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Mr. Dwivedi: And strange enough, you gain in color also in summer.

Prabhupāda: Attractive.

Second Meeting with Mr. Dwivedi -- April 24, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: ...Kṛṣṇa... Kṛṣṇa gave him within—bullet. Yes. "Your nonviolence is within. You take it within. Take this bullet." Such wrong theory. These are wrong theories. "You want to establish nonviolence, and the violence is within. Take it." So don't theorize. Yaḥ śāstra-vidhim utsṛjya vartate kāma-kārataḥ, na siddhiṁ sa avāpnoti (BG 16.23). This is Gītā's word. If you do not follow the śāstra—you manufacture ideas—you'll never get success, na siddhiṁ sa avāpnoti na sukham, no happiness, and what to speak of parāṁ gatim? (Hindi) Tasmāt śāstra-vidhānoktaṁ kāryākārya... What is that verse? Real guidance, śāstra, and Kṛṣṇa is speaking. Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. It is very easy. But we have given up all these things. (Hindi) So you have to give up this. Otherwise there is no hope. (break) And to become Kṛṣṇa conscious, it is not at all difficult. Very simple thing. Otherwise how they have become? Ten years before, they did not know who is Kṛṣṇa. So how they have become Kṛṣṇa conscious? And our position is that even a person like Gandhi, he could not become Kṛṣṇa conscious in hundred years. Because the wrong way. And they have become within ten years fully Kṛṣṇa conscious. Now ask him that "Go back to your Christian." Will they go? They have been kidnapped. They have been forced. In so many ways they have been harassed. No. In America it was going on. Their fathers... From parents' side they have been kidnapped, detoured by force that "You eat it, the māṁsa. You eat." What is that girl who was kidnapped and she came to temple and married?

Morning Talk -- April 25, 1977, Bombay:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No. Actually Paramānanda was telling me that, you know, he's made some very close friends amongst the farming people, not our own people. So every year he goes back to near New Vrindaban, 'cause he made friends with the local people there, and he spends a week with them, and Devakī-nandana also. So he says that now he helps them. Whenever he goes, he helps them with the farming because their sons are all starting to marry the girls from the city, and they're not so much inclined towards the farming work. So the father and mother, even though they're getting older, they have to more and more work because the children are not helping them.

Prabhupāda: The city girl, she does not wish to come.

Conversation: Vairagya, Salaries, and Political Etiquette -- April 28, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, they are drinking. They are having homosex. They are encouraging homosex, giving man-to-man marriage. You know that? This is going on. Doing everything nonsense.

Girirāja: Actually their leader...

Prabhupāda: And they are concluding that they cannot stop committing sins and Jesus Christ will take account for them. Therefore it is very good religion, that "We can do whatever nonsense we like, and if we keep our faith in Jesus Christ, then we are saved." Pāpa-buddhiḥ, nāmno balād pāpa-buddhiḥ. Great offenders. So what news?

Morning Conversation -- April 29, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Therefore polygamy was allowed. Let them be taken care of, one husband, three wives. Therefore the kṣatriyas were taking hundreds of women. They had money.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Who?

Prabhupāda: Kṣatriyas.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Kṣatriyas, yes.

Prabhupāda: Just like we see, when Devakī was married, so many Devakī's young friends also went. They were taken shelter. The woman population is always bigger. (end)

Room Conversation -- May 8, 1977, Hrishikesh:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yeah, I mean, what is the purpose of... A man is foolish because he's attracted by sex life, but even in marriage...

Prabhupāda: It is foolish, undoubtedly, but there is some concession. But this concession is so restriction that he'll become intelligent, that "What is the use of this concession?" Loke vyavāyāmiṣa-madya-sevā nityā hi jantoḥ. It is not encouragement. The so much restriction means to convince him indirectly that "This is nonsense. Better you give it up." Otherwise why restriction? In other things... Suppose eating bhagavat-prasādam. There is no such restriction...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Once every six...

Conversation with M.P., Shri Sita Ram Singh -- May 19, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Rather, they are more distressed. Take for example, in our childhood my father's income was, utmost, three hundred rupees. So we were not very rich men. But we had no want. Father was maintaining his family, getting children married, distributing the wealth. Everything very nice. And we never felt any want. In this mango season, because father saw it that "There must be a full basket of mangoes daily for the children," so we were jumping, playing and eating mangoes. And now, taking consideration of gold standard... At that time my mother was purchasing gold, twenty rupees...

Morning Conversation -- May 29, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Harjibhai?

Brahmānanda: Diamond Press. So his sons are in London, and he wants to start a business there in September, but he didn't want to do so without your blessing. Because you gave blessing for his daughter's marriage, so he's always thinking that if you give blessing, then it will come out nicely. (Prabhupāda laughs) He also wants to put Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa Deities in his home just outside of Birmingham, and he wants to invite the Indian community to come to his house for having programs. So he gave me some money to purchase Deities here in Vṛndāvana, but he also wanted your blessings for that.

Prabhupāda: Who will worship the Deity?

Discussions with Devotees and Conversation with Dr. Ghosh -- June 1, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: (Bengali) You are all qualified. I can give you ideas. Now I am doing. So I wanted to see that you are all busy. That I want because now I am becoming invalid. I cannot move very swiftly here and there. But if you move, I take pleasure. There is a Bengali proverb, na pajimane na jamai datta(?). A old lady, so she has lost her husband. She cannot joke. Husband, wife, they exchange some joking word. So with whom she will joke? Then the grandson-in-law, grandson... So in our society, Bengal, the grandson-in-law... I have got experience also. When I was newly married grandson-in-law, so my grandmother-in-law was joking with me like anything, more than husband. (laughter) And granddaughter-in-law. So we sit down and she talks very openly everything. We remember that. Because she was enjoying. By talking like that, free, with granddaughter and grandson-in-law, she was enjoying. And we were also enjoying. So my position is like that.

Conversation with Svarupa Damodara -- June 21, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: ...slaughter, bigger slaughter. This is my practical experience. Father hates. (break) We saw lots of people.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Still...

Prabhupāda: In the beginning, when the marriage took place, thousand was common. He was everything. (breaks)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Then he stopped everyone from wearing saffron.

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Somebody said that. He wore... (breaks)

Prabhupāda: Mandāḥ sumanda-matayo manda-bhāgyā hy upadrutāḥ (SB 1.1.10).

Morning Conversation -- June 23, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Yes. In Calcutta in our childhood I have seen many big, big prostitutes, Vaiṣṇavī.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Really?

Prabhupāda: All, their behavior, their living... Simply they were not married. They were kept by some big men. Otherwise everything was so nice. Big, big prostitutes.

Bhakti-caru: (Bengali)

Prabhupāda: There was a big temple of prostitutes in Calcutta, Kach-Kamil.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Kach...?

Talk About Varnasrama, S.B. 2.1.1-5 -- June 28, 1977, Vrndavana:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Very good observation.

Prabhupāda: Hm. Therefore in India the father-mother takes the responsibility of the son, to make him a family man. Then leave, marry.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Not a bogus sādhu.

Prabhupāda: Then he... Father-mother knows that he'll take care of his life automatically. And the boy and the girl are not allowed to mix with second girl, second boy. They are kept strictly. And when they're grown up, they're allowed to mix and the affection becomes firm. These are psychology. It is the psychology of woman that before puberty, if she has got a boy, she loves forever. She'll never be unchaste. So these marriage things are done very psychologically, scientifically, so that they may become happy, and then, in peaceful mind, combine together, good cooperation, they make progress, spiritual. This is the plan, varṇāśrama-dharma. Very scientific. And Kṛṣṇa says, "I am that." Whatever Kṛṣṇa shall give-perfect. Nobody cares. They are suffering.

Conversations -- June 28, 1977, Vrndavana:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: In our temple?

Prabhupāda: No, no, some public...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No, that... And even the fact that they got married is more than most people do nowadays. They don't even get married.

Prabhupāda: There is no marriage. And in Bhāgavata says, "There will be no more marriage. Agreement."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Sex agreement.

Śatadhanya: And in Switzerland, in the schools, they teach small children, "You should have sex at early age." They teach in school.

Prabhupāda: Switzerland.

Conversation about Old Days in Calcutta -- July 1, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Then we began to... I used to call his wife didi, as my sister, eldest sister. That man was old. At that time he was at least seventy years old. And his wife died, so he had no children, so he married again. Old husband, young wife, but the relationship was so nice, great devotee and the wife devoted.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Even though the husband was very old and the wife young.

Prabhupāda: Formerly even eighty years old, they used to marry.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Even?

Prabhupāda: Eighty years old.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Eight-years-old girl.

Conversation about Old Days in Calcutta -- July 1, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: There were many cases.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What... I mean, what is the reason behind that? Isn't that very old to get married?

Prabhupāda: If he had no family member, he would marry again. (pause) But it was subject of criticism.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Must have been.

Prabhupāda: Oh, yes. But the custom was that.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Seems like someone should simply cultivate spiritual life at that age instead of...

Conversation about Old Days in Calcutta -- July 1, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Oh, yes. But the custom was that.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Seems like someone should simply cultivate spiritual life at that age instead of...

Prabhupāda: In Bhāgavata there are many instances, very old man married. Anyway, this gentleman was such a nice devotee. Oh.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What was particularly nice about his devotional quality?

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Which devotional qualities particularly did he...?

Room Conversation with Mr. Myer -- July 2, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: They do not marry for being... Or they kill children. They are doing that. Where is the question of "four," "two"? These are all nonsense program. They do not know how to do things. We welcome. Four, nei. Four hundred. Come on. My Guru Mahārāja used to say that "I am a brahmacārī-sannyāsī, but if I can bring Kṛṣṇa conscious child, I can beget hundred children. I have no objection." And that is... There is no question of four or two. Four hundred—if you can make them Kṛṣṇa conscious. That is the criterion. That is required. But that, they do not know. They'll not be able to maintain properly even one children, one child. That's not possible. But that is the difficulty in In... They do not know the laws of nature, the laws of God, how things are going on, although they are being explained. They'll... There are so many things. They are jumping like monkey. That's all. They... They take photograph for "Gītā student," and they do not understand one line, even one line. In the beginning, the Bhagavad-gītā is tathā dehāntara-prāptiḥ: (BG 2.13) "This body will change." Do they take it seriously?

Room Conversation With Son (Vrindavan De) -- July 5, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Jackfruit is also called "vegetable meat."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: "Vegetable meat."

Prabhupāda: Lajpata.(?) Or a vegetable mutton. During my daughter's marriage, the hired cook, they made from this flour of banana, cutlet. Nobody could understand that it is vegetable.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You were present at that time?

Prabhupāda: No, no, I did not allow to cook fish, so the guests were given that vegetable cutlet. And they could not understand.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: They were satisfied.

Room Conversation -- July 10, 1977, Vrndavana:

Mr. Myer: Actually South is full of it. They have got a Theosophical Society, there's the Aurobindo Society, there is the J. Krishnamurti Trust. Many, many things are there. But each one of it is just a very shallow... J. Krishnamurti has never written a book himself. Always another person writes about him, his thoughts, his speeches. So only thing is that they started many, many years ago, fifty years ago. So they have bought some piece of land and started some schools, and like that they have created some systems. But basically it's very difficult. One cannot make any advancement with such people. But all, everywhere in India today tendency is people just go and ask for some personal gain. In Tirupati people go there, they say "If I get a son, I will come and pay some money." And some people say, "If my husband gets all right, I will come and do something." Some women go there, they just take off all their diamond necklaces and pour it. In one day they will sometimes collect a crore of rupees. It's unbelievable. So that is the type attitude people developed. Then that legend also says Lord Viṣṇu married, and for a marriage He has taken a big loan. So whosoever is helping Him to repay it, he gets a good from the...

Prabhupāda: Lord Viṣṇu. Who is that?

Room Conversation -- July 10, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Lord Viṣṇu. Who is that?

Mr. Myer: Lord Veṅkateśvara. That is one insult. They say that for a marriage He has taken so much money, and He's to pay back...

Prabhupāda: A person, man? A man has said?

Mr. Myer: It is a form of Viṣṇu. They call it Veṅkateśa-jī.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He's talking about Bālajī Veṅkateśvara. He says that there's a legend that Viṣṇu took a loan for what?

Mr. Myer: For getting married. So that loan He has to repay now. So anyone who is helping Him to repay is given some... That's what they say. It is very natural for people to go and...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Viṣṇu doesn't have to take any loan. Anybody who believes that means they don't know the philosophy. How can God be wanting?

Room Conversation about Grhasthas -- July 17, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: No, that's a great loss.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Because if husband and wife live together in the temple itself, where there are so many brahmacārīs and... (break)

Prabhupāda: ...he makes love with a girl and marries and live at the cost of Society, and that is to be discouraged. If you want to marry, you work independently. Maintain yourself. And whatever you can contribute, do that. That is the... Just like Abhirāma. He's very good. And I don't want to be lost. He constructed that house, I never forbade. And it is in the campus. Let him remain a little separately. It doesn't matter.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I think the main reason he can't live there anymore is that because of doing business he'll not always be able to be in Māyāpur, and he doesn't feel that that house is safe for his wife to live there alone.

Room Conversation about Grhasthas -- July 17, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: So you can go.

Upendra: Prabhupādajī? I have one question since you are speaking about gṛhastha. If a brahmacārī decides to get married and then enters into married life, should he be encouraged to maintain that responsibility throughout his life?

Prabhupāda: No, no, unless he can maintain family, why should he marry?

Upendra: Well, I'm specifically questioning the fact that some... Of course, our movement is young, but so many women, their husbands leave them, and they are so young and they're left. So these young women I'm thinking may become a disturbance in the future to the movement, because how a woman can remain unmarried for so many years? Her husband has left her after a few years of marriage. Generally...

Room Conversation about Grhasthas -- July 17, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: What we can do?

Upendra: I'm saying the emphasis of marriage responsibility, I don't know if it's preached that strongly. Generally it's preached that one should not...

Prabhupāda: No, if he marries, why he should not take responsibility of maintaining? Why he should marry if he has no power of maintaining?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What does that mean, "power of maintaining," Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: He must maintain his wife, children nicely. Otherwise why he should marry?

Room Conversation about Grhasthas -- July 17, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Imagine that. Whew! Boy!

Prabhupāda: He is maintaining it for his sons', daughters' marriage. That is...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: After all, Tīrtha Mahārāja did that too.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He says, "My son is the next in line." Whew.

Prabhupāda: The interest will go to the family, not to the Deity.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That's not good.

Room Conversation Gaurasundara, Dr. Kapoor -- July 26, 1977, Vrndavana:

Gaurasundara: No. I think she's... I have heard that she's married again. But anyway, she has not been in touch with me.

Prabhupāda: Oh. Never mind. These are all material things. It should be more than that. Kṛṣṇa consciousness means forgetting material things, coming to Kṛṣṇa. Now forget your past misdeed and take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness gradually. Deity worship is the first work, step. How many dresses you have prepared for the Deity? What is the name of?

Woman devotee: They each have twenty-two.

Meeting With Governor of Tamil Nadu -- July 31, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: So give us little protection. That is my request.

Governor: We'll do it, no doubt. I'm meeting the Prime Minister tomorrow, and we are going to discuss that matter. This is my daughter. She stays in Delhi.

Prabhupāda: Oh. Thank you very much. She is married?

Governor: She is married. She has a husband. She was also an advocate in... This is husband. He's in the government of India agricultural department now.

Prabhupāda: Very good. We are very much interested in agriculture.

Governor: He's a scientist. Very, very great scientist. He is Ph.D. of California University.

Room Conversation -- November 2, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: No, suppose you construct some house and rent out. Then they can do as they like. So similarly, if that hall is made, constructed for making some money, then the money will not come if we don't rent out to the cinema actors, actresses. It is just like... What is called? Village house. Hm? The hall is called? When one pays, marriage ceremony... For making some money you have made.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Is that why we made that hall, for making money?

Prabhupāda: Otherwise what you will do?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, originally you had intended that that hall would be used for Svarūpa Dāmodara's scientists and for our theater group and things like that.

Prabhupāda: That's all right, but are you going to have every day?