Learn the etiquette

Expressions researched:
"learn the etiquette" |"learning the etiquette"

SB Canto 7

One should live among devotees, saintly persons, to learn the etiquette and proper behavior of devotional service.

SB 7.7.30-31, Purport:

One's first duty is to accept a bona fide spiritual master. The student or disciple should be very inquisitive; he should be eager to know the complete truth about eternal religion (sanātana-dharma). The words guru-śuśrūṣayā mean that one should personally serve the spiritual master by giving him bodily comforts, helping him in bathing, dressing, sleeping, eating and so on. This is called guru-śuśrūṣaṇam. A disciple should serve the spiritual master as a menial servant, and whatever he has in his possession should be dedicated to the spiritual master. prāṇair arthair dhiyā vācā. Everyone has his life, his wealth, his intelligence and his words, and all of them should be offered to the Supreme Personality of Godhead through the via medium of the spiritual master. Everything should be offered to the spiritual master as a matter of duty, but the offering should be made to the spiritual master with heart and soul, not artificially to gain material prestige. This offering is called arpaṇa. Moreover, one should live among devotees, saintly persons, to learn the etiquette and proper behavior of devotional service. Śrīla Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura remarks in this connection that whatever is offered to the spiritual master should be offered with love and affection, not for material adoration. Similarly, it is recommended that one associate with devotees, but there must be some discrimination. Actually, a sādhu, a saintly person, must be saintly in his behavior (sādhavaḥ sad-ācārāḥ). Unless one adheres to the standard behavior, one's position as a sādhu, a saintly person, is not complete. Therefore a Vaiṣṇava, a sādhu, must completely adhere to the standard of behavior. Śrīla Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura says that a Vaiṣṇava, a person initiated into the Vaiṣṇava cult, should be offered the respect befitting a Vaiṣṇava, which means that he should be offered service and prayers. However, one should not associate with him if he is not a fit person with whom to associate.

SB Canto 9

Learning the etiquette of how to deal with women does not free one from sexual attraction.

SB 9.19.17, Translation and Purport:

One should not allow oneself to sit on the same seat even with one's own mother, sister or daughter, for the senses are so strong that even though one is very advanced in knowledge, he may be attracted by sex.

Learning the etiquette of how to deal with women does not free one from sexual attraction. As specifically mentioned herewith, such attraction is possible even with one's mother, sister or daughter. Generally, of course, one is not sexually attracted to his mother, sister or daughter, but if one allows himself to sit very close to such a woman, one may be attracted. This is a psychological fact. It may be said that one is liable to be attracted if he is not very advanced in civilized life; however, as specifically mentioned here, vidvāṁsam api karṣati: even if one is highly advanced, materially or spiritually, he may be attracted by lusty desires. The object of attraction may even be one's mother, sister or daughter. Therefore, one should be extremely careful in dealings with women. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was most strict in such dealings, especially after He accepted the sannyāsa order. Indeed, no woman could come near Him to offer Him respect. Again, one is warned herewith that one should be extremely careful in dealings with women. A brahmacārī is forbidden even to see the wife of his spiritual master if she happens to be young. The wife of the spiritual master may sometimes take some service from the disciple of her husband, as she would from a son, but if the wife of the spiritual master is young, a brahmacārī is forbidden to render service to her.

CC Madhya-lila

It doesn’t matter what one was before initiation. After initiation, one must learn the etiquette mentioned herein.

CC Madhya 24.275, Translation and Purport:

"He then fetched water and washed the sages" feet with great devotion. Then both husband and wife drank that water and sprinkled it on their heads."

This is the process one should follow when receiving the spiritual master or someone on the level of the spiritual master. When the spiritual master comes to the residence of his disciples, the disciples should follow in the footsteps of the former hunter. It doesn’t matter what one was before initiation. After initiation, one must learn the etiquette mentioned herein.