Family attachment (Conversations)

Expressions researched:
"attach to family" |"attached family" |"attached in family" |"attached person in family" |"attached to family" |"attached to his family" |"attached to illusory family" |"attached to my family" |"attached to the family" |"attached to this family" |"attached" |"attached, family" |"attachment for His family" |"attachment for family" |"attachment to family" |"attachment to the family" |"attachment to their family" |"attachment" |"family attachment" |"family"

Notes from the compiler: VedaBase query: "attach* family"@10

1974 Conversations and Morning Walks

Car Conversation on the way to Chateau -- June 12, 1974, Paris:

Bhagavān: No. (more conversation with gas station attendant, etc.) (break) It is very known that the family is very strong, the family attachment is very strong. In America, people separate from the family very early. And in France, the family attachment is so strong. And many people, many families have come and asked us if we will be able to open school here for their children too. The interest is there. Everyone is afraid of this present system of schooling. Because they send their children there, and they come back so crazy.

Prabhupāda: Rogues. Rogues. After education, they are rogues only (pause) (break)

Bhagavān: ...take breakfast a little earlier. Is that O.K? And then this other gentleman can come with us and we can go faster that way. Because their truck is slow. (break) ...human being, those who have system of religion? Is that what makes them civilized? So the society today, even though it seems to be technologically advanced, can that society be called civilized? No.

Prabhupāda: So long technological advancement is meant for bodily comforts, so, so long one remains in the bodily concept of life, he's animal. (pause) (end)

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- May 8, 1975, Perth:

Paramahaṁsa: Still, even after you went to America and brought back so many European and American disciples, still the Indians are so slow to come and join.

Prabhupāda: Because they have been... The disease is very chronic. They are not opulent. That diagnosis already given. They have become poverty-stricken. So daridra-doṣa guṇa naśe. Although they are born in India, they have got many qualification, due to this poverty-stricken position, they... Their first business is how to... Because they have got family attachment, so they cannot sacrifice. They will work very, very hard. You have seen how they are going to office, how..., because they have got the responsibility of family. That is Indians another feature. They take family responsibility. In your country there is no such thing. There is no family. There is no family responsibility. In India still that old tradition is going on. Therefore they cannot sacrifice the family responsibility, although they are willing. And the whole thing is it is due to poverty-stricken position. They have got family responsibilities. They think, "If I go, then whole family will starve. How can I go?" That is the exact position. And to come to that stage, that "Let my family starve, I don't mind," that is very higher stage. That is sarva-dharmān parityajya mām ekaṁ śaraṇaṁ vraja (BG 18.66), "Oh, no responsibility, simply I have got respons..." That is not ordinary stage. You cannot expect these things from ordinary man.

Jayadharma: A person may see somebody do that, may think that they're irresponsible.

Prabhupāda: Yes, escaping, so many accusations. But with all these accusations one can do that. There is no harm. But that position is not for all.

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- April 9, 1976, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Kṛṣṇa consciousness, there is one very nice cause. The cause is, the Western people, they have no attachment for wife. Is it not a fact?

Pṛthu-putra: Yes.

Prabhupāda: They do not care for the wife.

Pṛthu-putra: They do not care for family attachment in general.

Akṣayānanda: That vairāgya is due to frustration.

Prabhupāda: Whatever the cause...

Akṣayānanda: Yes.

Prabhupāda: The vairāgya is there. That is...

Akṣayānanda: Then you came and gave the missing link. You gave the Kṛṣṇa consciousness itself.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Vairāgya means that there must be another engagement. Then life is successful, with another spiritual engagement.

Akṣayānanda: That you have supplied.

Prabhupāda: That I have studied.

Akṣayānanda: Yes.

Morning Walk -- April 9, 1976, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: ...jñānaṁ ca yad ahaitukam. That was automatic. And the bhakti-yoga means vairāgya-yoga. Vairāgya-yogaṁ nija-bhak.... Vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhakti-yogam (CC Madhya 6.254). So anyway, you have got the right thing. Now make it perfect. Satataṁ kīrtayanto māṁ yatantaś ca dṛḍha-vratāḥ (BG 9.14). With great vow and endeavor, kīrtana should go on. Then it is perfect. There is no difficulty. Teṣāṁ satata-yuktānāṁ bhajatāṁ prīti-pūrvakam (BG 10.10). The kīrtana is bhajana. So if you are engaged, satatam, in kīrtana, then you are safe. Māyā's father will not be able to touch. In India as soon as you say, "You give up your family life," immediately he becomes morose. The family attachment, especially the wife's attachment, is very, very strong. And śāstra says if one can give up this attachment of wife, then he can conquer Kṛṣṇa. It is said. He can conquer Kṛṣṇa. Simply.... Eh?

Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa: There's a ditch here.

Devotee (1): There's a place to walk, though, on the left-hand side.

Akṣayānanda: (break) ...from his fallible soldiers.

Prabhupāda: Hm?

Akṣayānanda: Fallible soldiers.

Prabhupāda: Fallible soldier? Yes.

Garden Conversation -- June 10, 1976, Los Angeles:

Prabhupāda: Just like old man like me, eighty years, suppose another twenty years I may live, but I am invalid, I cannot do any solid work. So twenty years in the beginning as child, as young man, in sporting, jumping, twenty years passed. And last twenty years, simply old man's home, invalid home. So forty years gone out of hundred years. Then?

Hṛdayānanda: (Purport) "Without Kṛṣṇa consciousness, one wastes twenty years in childhood and boyhood and another twenty years in old age, when one cannot perform any material activities and is full of anxiety about what is to be done by his sons and grandsons and how one's estate should be protected. Half of these years are spent in sleep. Furthermore, one wastes another thirty years sleeping at night during the rest of his life. Thus seventy out of one hundred years are wasted by a person who does not know the aim of life and how to utilize this human form."

durāpūreṇa kāmena

mohena ca balīyasā

śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya

pramattasyāpayāti hi

(SB 7.6.8)

"One whose mind and senses are uncontrolled becomes increasingly attached to family life because of insatiable lusty desires and very strong illusion. In such a madman's life, the remaining years are also wasted because even during those years he cannot engage himself in devotional service."

Garden Conversation -- June 15, 1976, Detroit:

Prabhupāda: (laughs) Death will wait for your finishing? Death will come, it will not wait. People have become less intelligent, mūḍha. The general description is given in the Bhagavad-gītā: mūḍha, narādhama. Human intelligence requires to understand these problems, but because they are mūḍha, and lowest of the human, simply like animals, eat, drink, be merry and enjoy. Narādhama. You do not solve the problems. Simply like animal, dancing. So go on reading.

Jayādvaita: "The kṛpaṇas or miserly persons, waste their time in being overly affectionate for family, society, country, etc., in the material conception of life. One is often attached to family life, namely to wife, children and other members, on the basis of 'skin disease.' The kṛpaṇa thinks that he is able to protect his family members from death; or the kṛpaṇa thinks that his family or society can save him from the verge of death. Such family attachment can be found even in the lower animals who take care of children also. Being intelligent, Arjuna can understand that his affection for family members and his wish to protect them from death were the causes of his perplexities. Although he could understand that his duty to fight was awaiting him, still, on account of miserly weakness he could not discharge the duties. He is therefore asking Lord Kṛṣṇa, the supreme spiritual master, to make a definite solution. He offers himself to Kṛṣṇa as a disciple. He wants to stop friendly talks. Talks between the master and the disciple are serious, and now Arjuna wants to talk very seriously before the recognized spiritual master. Kṛṣṇa is therefore the original spiritual master of the science of Bhagavad-gītā, and Arjuna is the first disciple for understanding the Gītā. How Arjuna understands the Bhagavad-gītā is stated in the Gītā itself. And yet foolish mundane scholars explain that one need not submit to Kṛṣṇa as a person, but to the unborn within Kṛṣṇa. There is no difference between Kṛṣṇa's within and without. And one who has no sense of this understanding is the greatest fool in trying to understand Bhagavad-gītā." (continues reading texts purports, 8-12, until the end of the recording.) (end)

Interview with Newsday Newspaper -- July 14, 1976, New York:

Prabhupāda: No, it is the Vedic system that at a certain age they should give up family connection and completely devote for God consciousness. In the beginning, twenty-five years, he should learn from guru about Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then, if he is able, he does not become a family man, but if he is unable or circumstantially, he may become a family man. So he can remain a family man up to fiftieth year and then he retires from family life. He travels in holy places with his wife, and sometimes he comes home and sometimes he goes home. In this way, when he's practiced to give up family attachment, then the wife goes back home to the care of her elderly children, and the man takes sannyāsa, and he remains alone simply for spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness. This is Vedic system.

Rāmeśvara: Vedic system means very traditional, from ancient India.

Interviewer: Yes. Now, you are not practicing the Vedic system, then, here, are you? Or are you?

Rāmeśvara: We are following.

Prabhupāda: No, it is all Vedic system. It is Vedic system.

Interviewer: Is it better to do it the way you did it or to start from a very early age in the, er...?

Rāmeśvara: In other words, some of our members are sannyāsa at an earlier age.

Conversation with George Harrison -- July 26, 1976, London:

Prabhupāda: Fifty years immediately minus. Then out of the fifty years?

Hari-śauri:

mugdhasya bālye kaiśore

krīḍato yāti viṁsatiḥ

jarayā grasta-dehasya

yāty akalpasya viṁśatiḥ

(SB 7.6.7)

"In the tender age of childhood, when everyone is bewildered, one passes ten years. Similarly, in boyhood, engaged in sporting and playing, one passes another ten years. In this way, twenty years are wasted. Similarly, in old age, when one is an invalid, unable to perform even material activities, one passes another twenty years wastefully."

durāpūreṇa kāmena

mohena ca balīyasā

śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya

pramattasyāpayāti hi

(SB 7.6.8)

"One whose mind and senses are uncontrolled becomes increasingly attached to family life because of insatiable lusty desires and very strong illusion. In such a madman's life the remaining years are also wasted, because even during those years he cannot engage himself in devotional service."

Prabhupāda: So hundred years finish. (laughs) Fifty years, twenty years, twenty years and ten years.

George Harrison: Which volume is that?

Hari-śauri: This is the one before that one.

George Harrison: Part Two.

Hari-śauri: Yes. This is Prahlāda Mahārāja's instructions.

Prabhupāda: You can give that volume also.

Evening Conversation -- August 8, 1976, Tehran:

Prabhupāda: That was my policy from the very beginning, that if the Americans accept, then my mission will be successful. And that is being done gradually, and I am insisting that, preach in America vigorously. If America accepts, then whole world will accept. That's a fact. Anywhere, although America may be fallen, the ideal is American, everywhere. Because they have got money. Kali-yuga means money. If you have got money, then you have got culture, you have got education, you have got everything. That is stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. Formerly, they were attached, family, aristocracy, culture, education. Nowadays there is no such thing. Get money and you get everything. It is not? Somehow or other, if you have got control over money then you have got everything. Bring that black Bhāgavatam. What is that sound coming? There is goat?

Parivrājakācārya: I think a lamb, sheep.

Prabhupāda: Lamb.

Parivrājakācārya: Yes.

Prabhupāda: They keep lambs for?

Parivrājakācārya: For sacrificing.

Prabhupāda: They sacrifice at home?

Parivrājakācārya: The Koran says that you should sacrifice the animal at home with his head pointing toward Mecca.

Prabhupāda: Huh?

Room Conversation -- December 12, 1976, Hyderabad:

Prabhupāda: That is our aim. So you can engage some men to cut the hill for blocks and gradually develop house.

Tejas: These Badapur (?), they are good men.

Prabhupāda: Like this room, yes. And as far as possible, induce them to come and live here.

Mahāṁśa: Yes. Yes, that can be done. But family attachment... You see, these people, they have also family attachment, just like karmīs. So they are not so willing to... Because their whole family... The whole village is like one family. It's like one family. They are all related to each other. And they can stay. They stay. Many of them stay here overnight.

Prabhupāda: Naturally everyone wants to stay at his own place. "Home sweet home." "There is no place like home." That's a fact. That is psychology. They will like to stay there. But if they have got facility to live here with family they may come.

Mahāṁśa: I was thinking we can make their house just like our house. If they are living right on our border, we can go to their house, tell them how to make an altar and make them live like how we are living. Let them stay there but let them live a good Kṛṣṇa conscious life.

Prabhupāda: They'll come gradually, not immediately. Immediately, the psychology is, they have got attachment for their house. It may be worse house, but still, their attachment... That is natural. Long, long ago, when I was child practically, I went with my father in the village. So one man from the village was serving us. So my father: "This boy is nice. So why not take him to Calcutta?" So one day he was absent. It was dropping and... So I went in the interior of the village and I saw that his house was broken, there was no roof, and rain was falling and he was sitting, covering with a cloth. Then I told him that "Why not come with us in Calcutta?

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Yes. So the gṛha-vrata... If we keep ourself gṛha-vrata, then either guru or personally or by sat-saṅga, nothing will help us. Matir na kṛṣṇe parataḥ svato vā mitho 'bhipadyeta gṛha-vratānām. Why? Adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamisraṁ punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30). Chewing the chewed. (break) Na te viduḥ svārtha-gatiṁ hi viṣṇuṁ durāśaya ye bahir-artha-māninaḥ (SB 7.5.31). If one is trying to be happy by material adjustment, that is durāśayā. It will never be.... (break) Yāvan na ghṛnita mahīyasāṁ pada-rājobhiṣekam. Yavan na ghrnita. Bhāgavata śloka, each word, each line, concentrated. Vyāsadeva's contribution, last thing; by Nārada's upadeśa. And this is the only means of anarthopaśamam. You have created anarthas, and human life is meant for arthadam. But.... Hare Kṛṣṇa. So therefore real Vedic civilization is that gradually we have to give up this gṛha-vrata position. At one time you must voluntarily give up. Although I do not like to give up, still, by the order of the śāstra, one has to give up. Pañcasordhvam vanam vrajet. Vrajet means compulsory. Just like we accept so many things compulsory, similarly, to give up family attachment after fiftieth year, that is compulsory. We therefore invite all the compulsory, what is called, renouncement. Of course, nobody can go to the forest. That is not possible. They are not trained up as a brahmacārī. So this Hare Kṛṣṇa Land—"Come on." All the vānaprasthas, they can live in this land or Vṛndāvana, Hyderabad, simply for bhagavad-bhajana and no other purpose, anyābhilāṣitā-śūnyaṁ (Brs. 1.1.11), making all other purposes zero. Anyābhilāṣitā-śūnyaṁ jñāna-karmādy-anāvṛtam (CC Madhya 19.167). Jñāna and karma, these are bondage. Karmī, jñānī, yogi—they are especially bewildered. They want something, but still they say that "I am now renounced." So long there is want, he cannot be renounced. Renounced means no more want. Svāmin kṛtārtho 'smi: "I am fully satisfied now. I don't want any..." Yaṁ labdhvā cāparaṁ lābhaṁ manyate nādhikaṁ tataḥ. "I have got such a nice thing that I have no aspiration for getting any more." That is brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā (BG 18.54). Svamin kṛtartho 'smi.

Room Conversation -- January 30, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Satsvarūpa: I spoke with Nanda-kumāra Mahārāja about his maybe staying here, and he likes the idea.

Prabhupāda: So, there will be good community. How the Egyptian people are?

Pṛthu-putra: They're really a nationalistic type of persons.

Prabhupāda: That is everywhere.

Pṛthu-putra: But I never noticed like this anywhere else. And they're really attached to family life, even more than in India.

Prabhupāda: Ācchā?

Pṛthu-putra: Oh, yes.

Prabhupāda: They have got nice family?

Pṛthu-putra: Oh, yes. They have nice family, and they have many children. And the man is working, and the woman stay home and prepare food, taking care...

Prabhupāda: That is Indian culture.

Pṛthu-putra: Yes, it's exactly like in India. But their family attachment is so strong that it is..., it will be very difficult to have devotees out of them.

Prabhupāda: No, no, why you should dissuade them from family life? That is not our...

Talk About Varnasrama, S.B. 2.1.1-5 -- June 28, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: What is the purport?

Upendra: This material world is called the world of death. Every living being, beginning from Brahmā, whose duration of life is some thousands of millions of years, down to the germs who live for a few seconds only, is struggling for existence. Therefore, this life is a sort of fight with material nature, which imposes death upon all. In the human form of life, a living being is competent enough to come to an understanding of this great struggle for existence, but being too attached to family members, society, country, etc., he wants to win over the invincible material nature by the aid of bodily strength, children, wife, relatives, etc. Although he is sufficiently experienced in the matter by dint of past experience and previous examples of his deceased predecessors, he does not see that the so-called fighting soldiers like the children, relatives, society members and countrymen are all fallible in the great struggle. One should examine the fact that his father or his father's father has already died, and that he himself is therefore also sure to die, and similarly, his children, who are the would-be fathers of their children, will also die in due course. No one will survive in this struggle with material nature. The history of human society definitely proves it, yet the foolish people still suggest that in the future they will be able to live perpetually, with the help of material science. This poor fund of knowledge exhibited by human society is certainly misleading, and it is all due to ignoring the constitution of the living soul. This material world exists only as a dream, due to our attachment to it. Otherwise, the living soul is always different from the material nature. The great ocean of material nature is tossing with the waves of time, and the so-called living conditions are something like foaming bubbles, which appear before us as bodily self, wife, children, society, countrymen, etc. Due to a lack of knowledge of self, we become victimized by the force of ignorance and thus spoil the valuable energy of human life in a vain search after permanent living conditions, which are impossible in this material world.