Bhāgavata: Śrīla Prabhupāda, you can tell us the qualifications of guru and the qualifications of disciple?
Prabhupāda: Yes. That is very simple thing. Tasmād guruṁ prapadyeta jijñāsuḥ śreya uttamam (SB 11.3.21). So this is the qualification of celā. Tasmād guruṁ prapadyeta. One has to accept a guru. Who? Jijñāsu. What kind of jijñāsu. (Hindi) Jijñāsuḥ śreya uttamam. "What is the best ultimate goal of life?" Such person will require a guru. Those who are interested with these material affairs, they do not require a guru.
Dr. Patel: They require Einstein as a guru.
Prabhupāda: No. No, no. Real guru means those who are interested in these material affairs, they do not require a guru. It is... It is a fashion. "Such man has kept such and such guru." Just like keeping a dog. This is not guru.
Dr. Patel: (laughs) That is good.
Prabhupāda: Keeping a guru, and "Guru, come here, come here, guru." (laughter) Not like that. That is useless. And this is the qualification of celā. Jijñāsuḥ śreya uttamam. One who is interested with the Absolute Truth. That requires, he requires a guru. And guru means, śābde pare ca niṣṇātam. Śābde pare ca niṣṇātaṁ brahmaṇy upaśamāśrayam (SB 11.3.21). This is the qualification. Śābde, he's, in the Vedic knowledge, he's perfect. Śābde pare ca. Niṣṇātam. He has immersed himself in that ocean. And the result is brahmaṇy upaśama..., he has no more material interests, simply Brahman. That's all. How simple it is, the qualification of celā and qualification of guru. As soon as Arjuna accepted Kṛṣṇa as his guru, He immediately gave him a slap: aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase (BG 2.11). "You are talking like very learned man. You are fool number one."
Dr. Patel: So you told me the same thing. Very good. I must be proud that I am going to be lion(?). That is what you mean to say.
Prabhupāda: No, no. This is the guru's... Guru's business is, when he talks much, he says, "All right, it is all right," but when he accepts guru slaps.
Dr. Patel: Choke him up. (laughs)
Prabhupāda: Yes. How mildly He says: Aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādāṁś... (BG 2.11). "You do not know what is what..."
Dr. Patel: "You are a fool."
Prabhupāda: "You are a fool number one." Nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ. He says, "A paṇḍita does not like this." That means, "You are a mūrkha." Indirectly, He said, "A paṇḍita does not do this. Now you learn." Dehino 'smin yathā dehe kaumāram... (BG 2.13). He began to speak Bhagavad-gītā.