In this connection we may call to memory the time when I was fortunate enough to meet His Divine Grace Śrīla Prabhupāda, sometime in the year 1922. Śrīla Prabhupāda had come to Calcutta from Śrīdhāma Māyāpur to start the missionary activities of the Gauḍīya Maṭha. He was sitting in a house at Ulta Danga when through the inducement of an intimate friend, the late Śrīmān Narendranath Mullik, I had the opportunity to meet His Divine Grace for the first time. I do not remember the actual date of the meeting, but at that time I was one of the managers of Dr. Bose's laboratory in Calcutta. I was a newly married young man, addicted to Gandhi's movement and dressed in khadi. Fortunately, even at our first meeting His Divine Grace advised me to preach the cult of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu in English in the Western countries. Because at that time I was a complete nationalist, a follower of Mahatma Gandhi's, I submitted to His Divine Grace that unless our country were freed from foreign subjugation, no one would hear the message of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu seriously. Of course, we had some argument on this subject, but at last I was defeated and convinced that Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's message is the only panacea for suffering humanity. I was also convinced that the message of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was then in the hands of a very expert devotee and that surely the message of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu would spread all over the world. I could not, however, immediately take up his instructions to preach, but I took his words very seriously and was always thinking of how to execute his order, although I was quite unfit to do so.
I Could Not (Prabhupada)
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta
CC Antya-lila
Lectures
Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures
ongregationally we chanted saṅkīrtana just now. Why? Because the consciousness is present. If there was no consciousness either in you or I, then I could not chant, neither you could hear, or neither you could chant, neither I could hear. So therefore the position of the consciousness is activity.
Now, this book, my Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, it is recognized by the government. The Ministry of Central Government, they have recognized this book, and they are purchasing hundred copies of each part. They recognize. But when I told that "For this publication of the whole thing, I require 500,000's of dollars. The government can take up this work," "No, our government is secular. Secular." So I could not get any help from my government.
The impersonalist class, or atheist class of men, they have interpreted Bhagavad-gītā in their own way. When I was in America in 1966, one American lady asked me to recommend an English edition of Bhagavad-gītā so that she could read it. But honestly I could not recommend any one of them, on account of their whimsical explanation. That gave me impetus to write Bhagavad-gītā As It Is.
Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures
This hearing process is very, very important. But people are not interested in hearing. They are simply busy in some other duties. My Guru Mahārāja used to say... One who was not interested in hearing, he used to call him a daṇḍavat-class. Daṇḍavat-class of men. That means simply he knows how to make daṇḍavats, that's all. (laughter) Anyone who will come to him, he would see whether he is a daṇḍavat-class of man or hearing class of man. So daṇḍavat is nice, but by offering daṇḍavat, if one does not develop the intent of hearing, śravaṇam, then he is not making very much progress. As you know, because I was little interested in hearing, my Guru Mahārāja, he accepted me as his disciple. He marked this. "This boy is interested in hearing. He does not go away." Actually, I do not know. I could not understand what he was speaking in the beginning, but still I was very much interested to hear him, out of curiosity or something like that.
I am speaking of you of my personal experience how this eagerness of hearing is a very important thing. When I first met my spiritual master in 1933... Not... I met him first in 1922. Then for several years I was out of Calcutta and I could not meet him. Again next meeting was in 1933. So at that time I was simply inquiring from other disciples of my spiritual master. At that time I was not spiritual master, I mean to say, disciple. "So when His Holiness will speak?" So this information was noted by my spiritual master, and he was pleased to accept me immediately, that "This boy is very nice. He's very inquisitive to hear. He does not go away."
So I think I have spoken about my own life. You know that I was a married man. So after being married, I did not like my wife. (laughter) Somehow or other, I did not like. I must say she is very faithful, very everything... Everyone praised. But I did not like, somehow or other. So I was preparing for next marriage. Next marriage. Because in India, at that time it was allowed, a man can marry more than one wife. Now the law is there. So my father, he was a saintly person. So he called me one day and said, "My dear boy, you are trying to marry again. I request you don't do that. You do not like your wife. That is a great fortune for you." (laughter) So I gave up that idea of marrying. Yes. So now I am realizing my father's blessing, yes, that if I would have been too much attached to my wife, then I could not have come to this position. That's a fact. So by ethical point of view, from spiritual point of view, to become too much attached to wife is an impediment for spiritual advancement.
The most important process is śravaṇam. Śṛṇvatāṁ sva-kathāḥ kṛṣṇaḥ puṇya-śravaṇa-kīrtanaḥ (SB 1.2.17). If we don't hear about Kṛṣṇa, then how we'll make advance? We have to hear. My Guru Mahārāja was very kind upon me because I was very much interested to hear him. That you know. I hear him. I did not understand him, actually. In the beginning I could not understand him. He was speaking in so high philosophical way that it was not... Still, I wanted to hear him. That was my only qualification.
When I first met my Guru Mahārāja, on the first meeting, he said that "You go to preach in the Western countries." I was surprised. There was no acquaintance. So "Caitanya Mahāprabhu's message, you are all educated young men, you should go and preach." I replied that "We are dependent nation, Indians. Who will hear us? Nobody will hear." So at that time he explained dependence and independence—temporary, it has no meaning. Actually, at that time I could not realize the independence. We were waiting for independence. What independence we have got? Independence means you go for one kilo of rice and stand there for two hours. (laughter) This is our independence. Everything is controlled.
My Guru Mahārāja accepted me as a disciple because he saw in the beginning I was very inquisitive to hear him. So in the beginning, when many gentleman... I was one of them, was introduced to my Guru Mahārāja, that "They are to be initiated. They want to be initiated, to become your disciple." So when my turn came, he immediately said, "Yes, I will accept this boy as disciple because he is very inquisitive to hear." That was my recommendation. And actually, I was very inquisitive. I could not follow what Guru Mahārāja was speaking, but still, I was asking others, that "When Guru Mahārāja will speak? I will hear." I could not follow. He was speaking in a very high philosophical term. So at that time I had no capacity to under... Still, I wanted to hear him, I understand or not understand.
Devotee (4): I have a question about the living entity, the spirit soul. Is the living entity in the area of the heart, in the heart, or in the lotus of the heart?
Prabhupāda: What is that? I could not follow.
Sudāmā: Would you say it again?
Devotee (4): If the living entity, the spirit soul, is in the heart, in the area of the heart, or in the lotus of the heart?
Sudāmā: How is the living entity, or the spirit soul, situated...
Prabhupāda: So why you are anxious to know so particular? He's in the heart. That's all right. Are you medical man?
Devotee (4): No, I...
Prabhupāda: Then why you are anxious about these details? Eh? What do you gain by that? It is said... In the śāstra it is said, īśvaraḥ sarva-bhūtānāṁ hṛd-deśe 'rjuna tiṣṭhati: (BG 18.61) "The heart, in the heart, the, the Supreme Person is also there, and the living entity is also there." So much knowledge is sufficient. Still, you cannot find out. So we are not so much anxious to know whether in western side of the heart or eastern side of the heart. We do not waste time in that way. He is in the heart. That's all.
When I was householder, several times there was indication given by my Guru Mahārāja that I should give up family life and become a sannyāsī and preach this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. In several way there was hints from my spiritual master, but still, I was not willing. I was thinking, "If I go away, then my family, my sons, my daughters, they will suffer." But actually, I have left my family connection in 1950. Actually '54, but introductory in '50. For the last twenty years. But they are living; I am living. They are not dying in my absence, and I am not suffering without being in my family. On the other hand, by Kṛṣṇa's grace, I have got better family members. I have got nice children in a foreign country. They are taking so much care of me, I could not expect such care from my own children.
Revatīnandana: You said in Vṛndāvana they would come in a gang. Three or four will jump out in front like this, and the rest will grab what you have and take it away. You said they would do that.
Prabhupāda: Yes.
Revatīnandana: They're very smart.
Prabhupāda: But if you have got a stick they will not come. They are afraid of stick. The dogs also, they are afraid of stick. Therefore in such places one should carry in hand one stick. That is safe. After all, they are animals. They know that a man can strike with the stick very severely. They are afraid of that. In Vṛndāvana, in the beginning, I was eating, and a monkey entered very peacefully and took it, everything. (laughter) He took everything. I could not replace. I began running. Immediately caught also. They do like that. In Vṛndāvana you cannot open doors.
Nectar of Devotion Lectures
Now the human welfare activities are now developed in the form of United Nations. They are tackling various subject matter, but still, it is not possible. They are trying for the last twenty years, but still, even the nations have not become united, what to speak of other welfare activities. It is just a comparison, a little comparison, but this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement was started, practically, from 1967. I went there in 1965, and for one year I could not do anything. In 1966 this movement was registered in New York, and from 1966 it is spreading. So within four or five years it has spread all over the world. We have got branches in every part of the globe. And at least, these people know there is a movement, Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and we are welcome everywhere as Kṛṣṇa conscious people, "Hare Kṛṣṇa People." Our name is "Hare Kṛṣṇa People." So people may take note of it that within a short period, it has spread so widely. In comparison to United Nations, what we are? We have no money. We have no means. We have no influence. We have no government support. Nothing of the sort. But still, it is spreading.
Festival Lectures
First meeting, perhaps you know, he asked me to preach. So at that time I was young man, only twenty-five years old, and I was also householder. So I should have joined and executed his desire immediately, but due to my ill luck I could not immediately execute his order, but it was in my heart that it is to be done. So better late than never, I executed his order at the age of seventy years, not at the age of twenty-five. So actually I wasted so much time, I can understand that. From twenty... The message was there when I was twenty-five years old, but I began at the age of seventy years. But I did not forget the message. Otherwise, how could I do? That was, that is a fact. I was simply finding out the opportunity, how to do it. So anyway, although I began very late, at the age of seventy years, so by the help of my disciples this movement is gaining ground and is spreading all over the world. So therefore I have to thank you. It is all due to you. It is not my credit, but it is your credit that you are helping me in executing the order of my Guru Mahārāja.
And in 1933 I was officially initiated, and my only qualification was when I was introduced to my Guru Mahārāja for initiation, so Guru Mahārāja immediately said, "Yes, I shall initiate this boy. He is very nice. He hears me very patiently. He does not go away." So that was my qualification. The high standard of philosophy which he was speaking at that time, practically I could not follow what was, he was speaking, but still, I liked to hear him. That was my hobby. Whenever... I was asking that "When Guru Mahārāja will speak?" So he took it very seriously.
I could not understand that time. You see? It was... I talked with him in so many ways: "Who will hear your Caitanya's message? We are dependent country." At that time I was Gandhi's devotee. In 1920 I gave up my educational career and joined this Congress Movement. Because Gandhi's program was to boycott the university education and the British law court, so we took this opportunity and gave up education. You see? (chuckles) So then Dr. Bose, he was my father's friend. So he asked, "What this Abhaya is doing?" And my sister told him, "Oh, he has appeared in the B.A. examination, but he is not doing anything." So Dr. Bose was my father's friend. So he appointed me the manager of his laboratory. I did not know anything; still, he appointed me. So that was in 1921.
I think by the beginning of December, 1936, I wrote one letter to Guru Mahārāja. I knew he was little kind upon me, so I wrote that "Guru Mahārāja, you have got many disciples. I am also one of them. But they are doing direct service to you. Some of them are brahmacārīs, some of them sannyāsīs, but I am a householder. I cannot..." Of course, I was giving sometimes some monetary help, but I could not give any direct service, so I asked him that "If there is any particular service I can do for you?" So that letter was replied in 13th December, dated 13th December, from Purī. And he passed away on the 31st December. Just a fortnight before. So the reply was the same as he wanted me to do this preaching work in 1922, when I first met him, that "You try to preach whatever you have learned from me to the English-knowing people in English. That will do good to you and to the people to whom you shall preach. That is my instruction."
Out of my own accord, I wrote him one letter that "Guru Mahārāja, you have got many disciples. Some of them are directly serving you. I could not do so. I am a householder. So if you give me some direct service to you, it will be very kind of you." So he replied that letter, that "You try to preach in English language. Then the persons who will be instructed by you and both yourself will be benefited." Again, he said the same thing which he ordered me in 1922 at the first sight.
Arrival Addresses and Talks
So my Guru Mahārāja ordered me long, long ago, when I was twenty-five years old, my Guru Mahārāja ordered me to go to the foreign countries and preach Lord Caitanya's message. But somehow or other I could not assimilate his order until I was seventy years old. But it was better late than never. So also I was trying how to make a successful tour for preaching Caitanya Mahāprabhu's message. So by the grace of my Guru Mahārāja and by your blessings, I went to the Western countries and had such a very good response, very good response. I went there empty handed with forty rupees in my pocket and free ticket, return ticket, by the Scindia Steam Navigation Company. And for one year I had no place to live, I had no money to eat; still I was going here and there. Then in 1966... I went in America in 1965. After struggling for one year, in 1966 I incorporated this Kṛṣṇa consciousness, International Society for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
So my journey was in India, Australia, New Zealand. I was to go to Africa also, but I could not go. Everywhere our International Society members are worshiping very nicely. In Australia-Sydney, Melbourne-Deity worship is going on very nicely. Similarly in New Zealand, Auckland. They have also purchased one house, and worship is going on nicely. New York, they are also doing very nicely, and you are also doing very nicely. Perhaps you are still going ahead. Yes. I am very much thankful to you that Kṛṣṇa, Caitanya Mahāprabhu, came to your country. He wanted to come here, and you have well received and worship Him. Serve Him. He will be happy. Introduce this movement all over your country.
My dear devotees, ladies and gentlemen, I am very glad to see you again, I think, after four years? Three years. I was trying to come here again—I like this place—but due to various engagements and due to my old age also, I could not come earlier. But this time, by the arrangement of our Hṛdayānanda Mahārāja, I have been forced to come here. (laughter) So I must thank you for your nice reception. I was received by police escort very nicely, and I remember once I traveled with the governor of UP in 1962 from Lucknow to Kanpur. So exactly we were driving in the same fashion, escorted by the police motorcycle. So anyway, I am so pleased to see you, that you are interested in Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
General Lectures
So I have to accept inconveniences. If I leave my home, comfortable home, I do not know where to live, how to eat, where to stay. These are experienced. When we took sannyāsa, in the beginning, we thought like that, but by the grace of God, Kṛṣṇa, we are not uncomfortable. We have got... We left only three or four children; now we have got hundreds of children, without any botheration of wife. (laughter) And they are so obedient and so beautiful, so nice, that I could not expect even the children which I begot at home. So by Kṛṣṇa's grace, by God's grace, everything is there, provided you depend on Him. There is no fear.
Philosophy Discussions
Hayagrīva: One last quote from Mill: "I will call no being good who is not what I mean when I apply that epithet," that is good, "to my fellow creatures, and if such a being can sentence me to hell for not so calling him, to hell I will go."
Prabhupāda: I could not follow.
Hayagrīva: Well, in other words that God must be good in the relative sense as I would say, "Oh, this is a good man." If he could not call God good in that relative sense he would not call God good.
Prabhupāda: God is always good. If one does not know the goodness of God then he is imperfect. God is always good, God is always great. That is the version of all Vedic literature. If one does not know God is good, then he is imperfect in his knowledge.
Hayagrīva: In The Ages of Life, Schopenhauer writes, "A complete and adequate notion of life can never be attained by anyone who does not reach old age, for it is only the old man who sees life whole and knows its natural course. It is only he who is acquainted, and this is most important, not only with its entrance, like the rest of mankind, but with its exit too, so that he alone has a full sense of its utter vanity, while the others never cease to labor under the false notion that everything will come right in the end.
Prabhupāda: I could not follow. Old man is perfect?
Hayagrīva: No. But an old man can see the course of life, can see life in its entirety, the ages...
Prabhupāda: As far as different, old men have got different experience. We have seen in Western countries old men, they still follow the path of sense gratification. So where is his experience? Unless there is training, simply to become old man is not sufficient. Training is required. Old man, actual old man should take renunciation. That is Vedic plan.
Conversations and Morning Walks
1968 Conversations and Morning Walks
Reporter: Well it's like you walk near a theater and you don't have a ticket. You might be able to walk around the theater...
Prabhupāda: Then you come to my conclusion that your ticket is insufficient. You cannot enter there. Then you support my statement. Then you support me, that you cannot enter there.
Reporter: Then you support me.
Prabhupāda: Why? I don't support you. I say that you cannot enter. You are supporting me. You say that I have no ticket, therefore I could not enter.
Reporter: And these astronauts did not have the ticket...
Prabhupāda: Therefore my statement is that you cannot enter in this way, therefore you support me.
1969 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: (Break) ...that "This boy hears very nicely. He does not go away," the first impression he gave to other godbrothers. "So I shall make him disciple." These very words he said. Actually I did not follow him in the beginning. High philosophical speaking and I was a new boy. I could not follow him, but actually I was so much glad to hear him. That's all. So that was my qualification, whatever you may say. I was simply asking, "When Guru Mahārāja will speak? When he will speak? When?" And I will sit down and go on hearing, and I will understand or not understand-others will disperse—I will not disperse. That he marked.
Prabhupāda: When Guru Mahārāja was speaking, at least my brain was puzzled. (laughter) Even he would speak in Bengali, it was very difficult to understand. He was speaking from a very, very high platform. But I wanted to hear him. That's all. Even I did not understand it. That he appreciated, (laughs) that "This boy does not go away. He hears." Actually that was my position. In the beginning I could not understand what he was speaking, but I wanted to hear him. That's all. I was very much anxious to hear him. That he marked. And he was kindly pleased on me, that "He wants to hear. He does not go away." That was my policy, that "let me hear. Even I do not understand, let me hear."
1971 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: "...Vedic Concept of Communism," "Knowledge by Authorized Tradition," and what was the other?
Śyāmasundara: "Scientific Values of..."
Prabhupāda: "Scientific Classless Society." This subject matter I wanted...
Prof. Kotovsky: Have you put into writing these three subjects somewhere?
Prabhupāda: I asked... Because I could not contact him, therefore I asked the ambassador. But unfortunately they said that "We did not receive any letter like that." So you can note down if you like.
Prabhupāda: So this is the difference. I have been in Moscow. So there is... I couldn't find this. I could not eat fruit. Now your country, Kṛṣṇa has given so nice, so nice flowers, and so nice Vaiṣṇavas. And that country is very proud of advancing, but there is no fruit, there is no flower, there is no Vaiṣṇava, and there is no freedom.
1972 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: What is that? I could not...
Bhūrijana: The advancement of civilization is leading to just sense gratification.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Material civilization means sense gratification. That's all.
Prabhupāda: I could not develop my wholesale business due to the octroi. Then I arranged, because I was agent of Dr. Bose's factory. I was disbursing goods direct from Calcutta and sending bill from Allahabad. Octroi botheration I have got experience. You cannot do any large-scale business, the rascal government do not (indistinct) it. Due to this octroi botheration, nobody can do any large-scale business. Either you have to keep your go-down beyond the octroi limit.
1973 Conversations and Morning Walks
So Gosvāmī Mahārāja very much appreciated, and he began to speak highly about me that "Abhay Babu is so expert, he has got so many friends, he has collected so many... So why does he... He should be the Maṭha in-charge." In this way. "Why should he not live with us? Why he's living separately?" In this way. So Prabhupāda, Mahārāja, Śrīdhara may remember it (laughing), he said, "It is better to live separately from you people, and he will do the necessity in due course of time." So I could not understand what Śrīla Prabhupāda meant by that. So his inclination, blessings, were always upon me although (indistinct), but he was so kind.
| Page Title: | I Could Not (Prabhupada) |
| Compiler: | Rishab |
| Created: | 12 of Nov, 2010 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=1, OB=0, Lec=24, Con=64, Let=86 |
| No. of Quotes: | 175 |