View source for Family means we live with father, mother, wife, children. This is family. In your country family does not mean father-mother, only wife and children. But in our country, according to Vedic civilization, family is a large conception

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<div id="Lectures" class="section" sec_index="4" parent="compilation" text="Lectures"><h2>Lectures</h2>
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<div id="Srimad-Bhagavatam_Lectures" class="sub_section" sec_index="1" parent="Lectures" text="Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures"><h3>Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures</h3>
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<div id="LectureonSB1317LosAngelesSeptember221972_0" class="quote" parent="Srimad-Bhagavatam_Lectures" book="Lec" index="114" link="Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972" link_text="Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972">
<span class="link">[[Vanisource:Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972|Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972]]: </span><div class="text"><p style="display: inline; ">Pradyumna: (leads chanting, etc.)</p>
:dhānvantaraṁ dvādaśamaṁ
:trayodaśamam eva ca
:apāyayat surān anyān
:mohinyā mohayan striyā
:([[Vanisource:SB 1.3.17|SB 1.3.17]])
<p>Translation: "In the twelfth incarnation, the Lord appeared as Dhanvantari, and in the thirteenth He allured the atheists by the charming beauty of a woman and gave nectar to the demigods to drink."</p>
<p>Prabhupāda: This is very interesting verse. (laughs) (laughter) To have very charming wife is not very good. And in your country you have got all charming wife. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says that there are four kinds of enemies in family life. These are very experienced version. He says, mātā śatru. In family means we live with father, mother, wife, children. This is family. In your country family does not mean father-mother, only wife and children. But in our country, according to Vedic civilization, family is a large conception. Father, mother, brother, sister, sister's son, brother's son. If there are difficulty, one has to su... So on the whole, father, mother, wife and children, consisting of, family.</p>
<p>Now Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says, "In the family there are enemies." How? Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatruḥ. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita said, "A father who is a great debtor, he is enemy." Because the son inherits the money of the father, similarly, the law is that if the father dies a debtor, the son becomes responsible to pay the debts. That is the law, Manu-saṁhitā. I do not know what is the law here. I don't think the son is responsible for paying the debts of father, but in India that is the law. One big barrister, Mr. C. R. Das, his father died insolvent, making debts. So when he became very rich, he called all the creditors and paid five to five, that "My father was debtor. You take this money." That is obligation. Therefore Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says, "The father who dies a debtor, he is an enemy." Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatruḥ. Ṛṇa means debts. Kartā means one who has committed so many debts and dies. A father... Instead of enjoying father's property, he has to pay the father's debts. So therefore that father is called enemy. Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī. "And mother, if she marries for the second time, she is enemy." Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī, rūpavatī bhāryāḥ śatruḥ. "And very beautiful wife, she is enemy." And putraḥ śatrur apaṇḍitaḥ. "And if the son is a fool, rascal, he is enemy." Four kinds of enemy in the family.</p>
<p>So I think I have spoken about my own life. You know that I was a married man. So after being married, I did not like my wife. (laughter) Somehow or other, I did not like. I must say she is very faithful, very everything... Everyone praised. But I did not like, somehow or other. So I was preparing for next marriage. Next marriage. Because in India, at that time it was allowed, a man can marry more than one wife. Now the law is there. So my father, he was a saintly person. So he called me one day and said, "My dear boy, you are trying to marry again. I request you don't do that. You do not like your wife. That is a great fortune for you." (laughter) So I gave up that idea of marrying. Yes. So now I am realizing my father's blessing, yes, that if I would have been too much attached to my wife, then I could not have come to this position. That's a fact. So by ethical point of view, from spiritual point of view, to become too much attached to wife is an impediment for spiritual advancement.</p>
<p>Therefore it is said that anyān, apāyayat surān anyān mohinyā mohayan striyā. Those who are sura, demigods, they were given the nectar, and others... Others means opposite number of surān, or asurān, the atheist or the demons. They were enchanted by the beautiful form of Mohinī. Kṛṣṇa's another incarnation is female, Mohinī, charming—so much charming that even Lord Śiva was after the girl. Lord Śiva, he is supposed to be dhīra, but he became charmed, and he was after that girl. So when Kṛṣṇa... Kṛṣṇa is already beautiful, but when He takes the shape of a woman, how beautiful He became, we can just imagine. Woman are naturally beautiful. They are called "fair sex." So mohinyā. So this Mohinī, this attractive feature of woman, is advantage and disadvantage also. It requires simply handling. Then it is advantage. When Caitanya Mahāprabhu played this play, Mohinī role... Caitanya Mahāprabhu was playing drama. So Caitanya Mahāprabhu was very beautiful. He took the part of this Mohinī-mūrti. And she was dancing with the pot of nectar. So all the devotees, they offered their obeisances, because Mohinī-mūrti means God's incarnation. So "My dear Lord, Your this mūrti, this form, this charming form, is somewhere rākṣasī." Rākṣasī means, what is called, witches? Or the female demon. "And somewhere You are goddess of fortune."</p>
<p>So the wife... Never mind. Generally, beautiful wife means everyone's wife is beautiful. Unless one sees his wife beautiful, he cannot become a householder. You see? I think I did not see my wife beautiful. Therefore I had to take sannyāsa. (laughter) But generally, every one sees his wife beautiful. There was a great poet in Bengal, Bankima Candra. He used to say that everyone has got right to say his wife beautiful. That means the wife may be beautiful or not beautiful to others' eye, but the husband's eyes it must be beautiful. Otherwise there cannot be husband. So the fact is that our householder life is not a platform of being attracted by woman or by wife. No. Wife is not accepted for sex satisfaction, being attracted by her. No. Therefore wife is called dharma-patnī. Dharma-patnī. Dharma-patnī means a religious wife, or husband and wife should execute religious life, spiritual cultivation. That is the purpose of becoming householder. Gṛhastha-āśrama. Not that I become attracted by wife and I become absorbed in simply sex relation and forget my real duty, Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is dangerous. So generally, if one's wife becomes very beautiful, he forgets his real duty, Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and he simply becomes a pet servant of the wife. That is the... Therefore Rūpa Gosvāmī says, anāsaktasya viṣayān yathārham upayuñjataḥ. One should not be attracted for sex life. Yathārham upayuñjataḥ. But does it mean that husband will not have sex. No. Yathārham. As it is required. As it required means sex life with wife should be performed only for begetting a Kṛṣṇa conscious child. Nothing more. No more attraction. That life is better. That life means not only better. That is the ideal life. Wife and husband, combination, both should make progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.</p>
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