Familiarity breeds contempt

Expressions researched:
"Familiarity sometimes breeds contempt" |"familiarity breeds contempt" |"familiarity that breeds contempt"

SB Canto 3

Viśrambheṇa means "with intimacy," but it must not be familiarity that breeds contempt.

SB 3.23.2, Purport:

A man's psychology and woman's psychology are different. As constituted by bodily frame, a man always wants to be superior to his wife, and a woman, as bodily constituted, is naturally inferior to her husband. Thus the natural instinct is that the husband wants to post himself as superior to the wife, and this must be observed. Even if there is some wrong on the part of the husband, the wife must tolerate it, and thus there will be no misunderstanding between husband and wife. Viśrambheṇa means "with intimacy," but it must not be familiarity that breeds contempt. According to the Vedic civilization, a wife cannot call her husband by name. In the present civilization the wife calls her husband by name, but in Hindu civilization she does not. Thus the inferiority and superiority complexes are recognized. Damena ca: a wife has to learn to control herself even if there is a misunderstanding. Sauhṛdena vācā madhurayā means always desiring good for the husband and speaking to him with sweet words. A person becomes agitated by so many material contacts in the outside world; therefore, in his home life he must be treated by his wife with sweet words.

SB Canto 6

One should never think the ācārya an ordinary person. Familiarity sometimes breeds contempt, but one should be very careful in one's dealings with the ācārya.

SB 6.7.15, Purport:

"By the mercy of the spiritual master one is benedicted by the mercy of Kṛṣṇa. Without the grace of the spiritual master, one cannot make any advancement." A disciple should never be a hypocrite or be unfaithful to his spiritual master. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (11.17.27), the spiritual master is also called ācārya. Ācāryaṁ māṁ vijānīyān: the Supreme Personality of Godhead says that one should respect the spiritual master, accepting him as the Lord Himself. Nāvamanyeta karhicit: one should not disrespect the ācārya at any time. Na martya-buddhyāsūyeta: one should never think the ācārya an ordinary person. Familiarity sometimes breeds contempt, but one should be very careful in one's dealings with the ācārya.

When Bṛhaspati entered the assembly of the demigods, they and their king, Indra, took him for granted. Since he came every day, they thought, they did not need to show him special respect. As it is said, familiarity breeds contempt.

SB 6.7.21, Purport:

Lord Brahmā chastised the demigods for not properly respecting this brāhmaṇa, who was their guru. Lord Brahmā wanted to impress upon the demigods that one's guru should not be disrespected under any circumstances. When Bṛhaspati entered the assembly of the demigods, they and their king, Indra, took him for granted. Since he came every day, they thought, they did not need to show him special respect. As it is said, familiarity breeds contempt. Being very much displeased, Bṛhaspati immediately left Indra's palace. Thus all the demigods, headed by Indra, became offenders at the lotus feet of Bṛhaspati, and Lord Brahmā, being aware of this, condemned their neglect. In a song we sing every day, Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura says, cakṣu-dāna dila yei, janme janme prabhu sei: the guru gives spiritual insight to the disciple, and therefore the guru should be considered his master, life after life. Under no circumstances should the guru be disrespected, but the demigods, being puffed up by their material possessions, were disrespectful to their guru.

SB Cantos 10.14 to 12 (Translations Only)

SB 10.84.31, Translation:

In this world familiarity breeds contempt. For example, one who lives on the banks of the Ganges might travel to some other body of water to be purified.

CC Madhya-lila

As it is said, familiarity breeds contempt. Sometimes coming too near the Deity or the spiritual master degrades the neophyte devotee.

CC Madhya 12.212, Purport:

Lord Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu usually saw Lord Jagannātha from a distance, standing behind the column of Garuḍa. But because he had not seen Lord Jagannātha for fifteen days, Caitanya Mahāprabhu felt great separation from Him. In great eagerness, Caitanya Mahāprabhu crossed the meeting hall and entered the room where food was offered, just to see the face of Lord Jagannātha. In verse 210, this action is called maryādā-laṅghana, a violation of the regulative principles. This indicates that one should not come very near a superior. Both the Lord's Deity form and the spiritual master should be seen from a distant place. This is called maryādā. Otherwise, as it is said, familiarity breeds contempt. Sometimes coming too near the Deity or the spiritual master degrades the neophyte devotee. Personal servants of the Deity and the spiritual master should therefore always be very careful, for negligence may overcome them in their duty.

CC Antya-lila

As the saying goes, "Familiarity breeds contempt." If one stays in Vṛndāvana for many days, he may fail to maintain proper respect for its inhabitants.

CC Antya 13.39, Purport:

In his Amṛta-pravāha-bhāṣya, Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura advises that one avoid remaining in Vṛndāvana for a very long time. As the saying goes, "Familiarity breeds contempt." If one stays in Vṛndāvana for many days, he may fail to maintain proper respect for its inhabitants. Therefore those who have not attained the stage of spontaneous love for Kṛṣṇa should not live in Vṛndāvana very long. It is better for them to make short visits. One should also avoid climbing Govardhana Hill to see the Gopāla Deity. Since Govardhana Hill itself is identical with Gopāla, one should not step on the hill or touch it with his feet. One may see Gopāla when He goes elsewhere.

Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead

The great sage Nārada said, "It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. As such, Vasudeva, having Kṛṣṇa as his son, does not regard Kṛṣṇa with awe and veneration."

Krsna Book 84:

The great sage Nārada was the leader of all the sages present. Therefore he began to speak. "My dear sages," he said, “it is not very difficult to understand that because of his great goodness and simplicity, Vasudeva, who has become the father of the Personality of Godhead by accepting Kṛṣṇa as his son, is inclined to ask us about his welfare. It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. As such, Vasudeva, having Kṛṣṇa as his son, does not regard Kṛṣṇa with awe and veneration. Sometimes it is seen that persons living on the bank of the Ganges do not consider the Ganges very important, and they go far away to take their baths at a place of pilgrimage."

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Just like we feel sometimes inconvenience in preaching about Kṛṣṇa because people here, they think they know everything about Kṛṣṇa; what they'll hear about from the Americans and Europeans? "What you can teach us?" Familiarity breeds contempt.

Lecture on BG 7.1 -- Bombay, January 13, 1973:

If you want to be attracted by somebody, we must know about him, something. Simply superficial understanding will not do. Just like we feel sometimes inconvenience in preaching about Kṛṣṇa because people here, they think they know everything about Kṛṣṇa; what they'll hear about from the Americans and Europeans? "What you can teach us?" Familiarity breeds contempt. No. Kṛṣṇa is not so easy to know.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

In India, "Oh, Vāsudeva, we have... We know everything of Vāsudeva. Hare Kṛṣṇa, oh, this is... What you can teach? We know everything." This is the Indian disease. Because familiarity breeds contempt.

Lecture on SB 3.26.26 -- Bombay, January 3, 1975:

Just like in India these young men from America and Europe... They are surprised, "How they have become so much aloof from material activities?" It is surprising. That is... It is not surprising, because bhaja vāsudevam: they have taken to the shelter of Vāsudeva. If you do also, you shall become. But we are not inclined. In India, "Oh, Vāsudeva, we have... We know everything of Vāsudeva. Hare Kṛṣṇa, oh, this is... What you can teach? We know everything." This is the Indian disease. Because familiarity breeds contempt. Because Indians are familiar with the name of Vāsudeva, with the name of Hare Kṛṣṇa, they think... Just like in European and American cities these boys and girls, they go for saṅkīrtana, and the Indian people, they say, "Oh, we know everything about it. We have now come here to learn how to eat meat, how to drink wine." You see? This is the condition.

"Do not consider ācārya, spiritual master, as ordinary human being and become envious." These things are warned. Familiarity breeds contempt.

Lecture on SB 6.1.28-29 -- Philadelphia, July 13, 1975:

Ācāryaṁ māṁ vijānīyān. Kṛṣṇa says, "Ācārya means I am." Nāvamanyeta karhicit: "Do not try to neglect." Na martya-buddhyāsūyeta: "Do not consider ācārya, spiritual master, as ordinary human being and become envious." These things are warned. Ācāryaṁ māṁ vijānīyān nāvamanyeta karhicit, na martya-buddhyāsūyeta (SB 11.17.27). Familiarity breeds contempt. That is not good. Similarly... Because by the mercy of ācārya, by the mercy of guru, you will get Kṛṣṇa.

1972 Conversations and Morning Walks

Familiarity breeds contempt. So he cannot believe that he has become a high-court judge. He thinks that "I am a rascal fool and my friend, how he can become high-court judge? He must not be getting salary."

Room Conversation Including Discussion on SB 1.5.11 -- January 19, 1972, Jaipur:

If you become Kṛṣṇa conscious, then it is to be supposed that you have finished all other types of religion. My Guru Maharaja used to cite one example that one's friend was sitting on the high-court judge's bench. So he was speaking to another, "Oh, that Panchu was playing with us naked. He is sitting on the high-court judge's bench. Oh, how he was playing with us naked, how he is seated in the high-court bench?" "Yes, I have seen, you have seen actually he is sitting." "Oh, then he must not be getting salary." He must not be getting salary. So this is the argument. Familiarity breeds contempt. So he cannot believe that he has become a high-court judge. He thinks that "I am a rascal fool and my friend, how he can become high-court judge? He must not be getting salary." But is that very good argument that the high-court judge is seated there without any salary? This argument is false(?). That is enviousness. Nirmatsarata. That is the habit of the conditioned soul.

"Familiarity breeds contempt." They say, "What is this Hare Kṛṣṇa movement? It is known to us since a long time. What effect it will have?" Many Indian students in foreign countries, they say, "Swamiji, what will this Hare Kṛṣṇa movement benefit us? We want technology."

Room Conversation -- April 18, 1972, Hong Kong:

Guest (1): The Hare Kṛṣṇa movement has started in the United States. Why did it start in the United States, rather than India?

Prabhupāda: Because the United States, they are our best customer. A businessman goes to a place... Just like you have come here. Why you have come here? Wherever there is best possibility of doing your business, there you must go. I went to United States because I know these people are not poverty-stricken. And our Indian people, they are now, they have been trained to think like that—they are poverty-stricken. Actually, they are not poverty-stricken, but the leaders have educated them that, "You are all poverty-stricken." This is India's position. So far I knew that it would not be successful in India. The government will not help. The public is educated in a different way. They are after technology. So and "familiarity breeds contempt." They say, "What is this Hare Kṛṣṇa movement? It is known to us since a long time. What effect it will have?" Many Indian students in foreign countries, they say, "Swamiji, what will this Hare Kṛṣṇa movement benefit us? We want technology." So that is the mentality of the Indians at the present moment.

Eastern people, when I speak of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they say, "What is this Kṛṣṇa? We know Kṛṣṇa. What we have to learn from Swamiji?" "Familiarity breeds contempt."

Room Conversation -- April 18, 1972, Hong Kong:

Guest (1): In the minds of some people the sudden attraction of Western youth to Eastern religions...

Prabhupāda: No. It is not Eastern. That is a wrong conception. God is for everybody. Eastern people, when I speak of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they say, "What is this Kṛṣṇa? We know Kṛṣṇa. What we have to learn from Swamiji?" "Familiarity breeds contempt." But in the Western countries when we speak of Kṛṣṇa, they see the philosophy. They see the science and become attracted. We, in the very beginning, we neglect: "Oh, what is this Kṛṣṇa consciousness?" Otherwise there is no question of Western or Eastern. Kṛṣṇa is for everyone. Kṛṣṇa is neither Western, neither Eastern. But Eastern, our, especially Indians, they have learned to reject. That is their education: immediately reject it.

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Familiarity breeds contempt. "Oh, Kṛṣṇa, we know. What you have got to teach us?"

Room Conversation with Indian Ambassador -- September 5, 1973, Stockholm:

Ambassador: So I do not expect much response. I'm being very honest with you, you know.

Prabhupāda: No, everywhere. In India also. Indians are everywhere.

Ambassador: Yes.

Prabhupāda: But they think... Familiarity breeds contempt. "Oh, Kṛṣṇa, we know. What you have got to teach us?" Although he doesn't know anything, because he, he belongs to the country where Kṛṣṇa appeared, therefore he knows everything. That... You know that Hindi. (Hindi)

Ambassador: Poetic. "The prophet is not honored in his own country."

Prabhupāda: Yes. (Hindi) That is this position.

1967 Correspondence

Those who are sincere devotee, they take direct service as an opportunity, but the illusory energy is so strong that it acts on this doctrine of familiarity breeds contempt.

Letter to Madhusudana -- San Francisco 30 December, 1967:

And I am very concerned that due to your sincerity and service mood you have improved in Krishna Consciousness excellently. Whatever allocation of duty there may be, if we try to execute such specific duty sincerely, that alone can make us much more advanced in Krishna Consciousness. In the Bhagavad-gita, it is stated that for the fixed up devotee there is one duty. This duty is understood through the transparent medium via media of the Spiritual Master. It is better service to Krishna and Spiritual Master in a feeling of separation; sometimes there is risk in the matter of direct service. For example, Kirtanananda was giving me direct service by massaging, cooking for me, and so many other things; but later on by dictation of Maya, he became puffed up, so much so that he thought his Spiritual Master a common man, and was existing only on account of his service. This mentality at once pushed him down. Of course, those who are sincere devotee, they take direct service as an opportunity, but the illusory energy is so strong that it acts on this doctrine of familiarity breeds contempt. Kirtanananda was thinking I was existing on his service, instead of realizing I was giving him opportunity to do me some service.