Prabhupāda: This is very interesting verse. (laughs) (laughter) To have very charming wife is not very good. (chuckles) And in your country you have got all charming wives. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says that there are four kinds of enemies in family life. These are very experienced version. He says, mātā śatru. In family means we live with father, mother, wife, children.
This is family. In your country family does not mean father-mother, only wife and children. But in our country, according to Vedic civilization, family is a large conception: father, mother, brother, sister, sister's son, brother's son. If there are difficulty, one has to . . . (indistinct) . . . so on the whole, father, mother, wife and children, consisting of, family.
Now Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says: "In the family there are enemies." How? Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatruḥ. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita said: "A father who is a great debtor, he is enemy." Because the son inherits the money of the father, similarly, the law is that if the father dies a debtor, the son becomes responsible to pay the debts. That is the law, Manu-saṁhitā. I do not know what is the law here. I don't think the son is responsible for paying the debts of father, but in India that is the law.
One big barrister, Mr. C. R. Das, his father died insolvent, making debts. So when he became very rich, he called all the creditors and paid five to five, that "My father was debtor. You take this money." That is obligation. Therefore Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says: "The father who dies a debtor, he is an enemy." Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatruḥ. Ṛṇa means debts; kartā means one who has committed so many debts and dies. A father . . . instead of enjoying father's property, he has to pay the father's debts.
So therefore that father is called enemy. Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī: "And mother, if she marries for the second time, she is enemy." Ṛṇa-kartā pitā śatrur mātā śatrur vyabhicāriṇī, rūpavatī bhāryāḥ śatruḥ: "And very beautiful wife, she is enemy." And putraḥ śatrur apaṇḍitaḥ: "And if the son is a fool, rascal, he is enemy." Four kinds of enemy in the family.
So I think I have spoken about my own life. You know that I was a married man. So after being married, I did not like my wife. (laughter) (chuckles) Somehow or other, I did not like. I must say she is very faithful, very everything . . . everyone praised. But I did not like, somehow or other. So I was preparing for next marriage. Next marriage.
Because in India, at that time it was allowed, a man can marry more than one wife. Now the law is there. So my father, he was a saintly person. So he called me one day and said: "My dear boy, you are trying to marry again. I request you, don't do that. You do not like your wife. That is a great fortune for you." (laughter) So I gave up that idea of marrying. Yes.
So now I am realizing my father's blessing, yes, that if I would have been too much attached to my wife, then I could not have come to this position. That's a fact. So by ethical point of view, from spiritual point of view, to become too much attached to wife is an impediment for spiritual advancement.
Therefore it is said that anyān . . . apāyayat surān anyān mohinyā mohayan striyā. Those who are sura, demigods, they were given the nectar, and others . . . others means opposite number of surān, or asurān, the atheist or the demons. They were enchanted by the beautiful form of Mohinī. Kṛṣṇa's another incarnation is female, Mohinī, charming—so much charming that even Lord Śiva was after the girl.
Lord Śiva, he is supposed to be dhīra, but he became charmed, and he was after that girl. So when Kṛṣṇa . . . Kṛṣṇa is already beautiful, but when He takes the shape of an woman, how beautiful He became we can just imagine. Woman are naturally beautiful. They are called "fair sex." So mohinyā . . .
So this Mohinī, this attractive feature of woman, is advantage and disadvantage also. It requires simply handling. Then it is advantage. When Caitanya Mahāprabhu played this play, Mohinī role . . . Caitanya Mahāprabhu was playing drama. So Caitanya Mahāprabhu was very beautiful. He took the part of this Mohinī-mūrti. And she was dancing with the pot of nectar.
So all the devotees, they offered their obeisances, because Mohinī-mūrti means God's incarnation. So "My dear Lord, Your this mūrti, this form, this charming form, is somewhere rākṣasīni." Rākṣasīni means, what is called, witches? Or the female demon. "And somewhere You are goddess of fortune."
So the wife . . . never mind, generally beautiful wife means everyone's wife is beautiful. Unless one sees his wife beautiful, he cannot become a householder. You see? I think I did not see my wife beautiful. Therefore I had to take sannyāsa. (laughs) (laughter) But generally, everyone sees his wife beautiful. There was a great poet in Bengal, Bankim Chandra. He used to say that everyone has got right to say his wife beautiful. That means the wife may be beautiful or not beautiful to others' eyes, but the husband's eyes it must be beautiful. Otherwise there cannot be husband.
So the fact is that our householder life is not a platform of being attracted by woman or by wife. No. Wife is not accepted for sex satisfaction, being attracted by her. No. Therefore wife is called dharma-patnī. Dharma-patnī. Dharma-patnī means a religious wife, or husband and wife should execute religious life, spiritual cultivation.
That is the purpose of becoming householder. Gṛhastha-āśrama. Not that I become attracted by wife and I become absorbed in simply sex relation and forget my real duty, Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is dangerous. So generally, if one's wife becomes very beautiful, he forgets his real duty, Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and he simply becomes a pet servant of the wife. That is the . . .
Therefore Rūpa Gosvāmī says, anāsaktasya viṣayān yathārham upayuñjataḥ (Brs 1.2.255). One should not be attracted for sex life. Yathārham upayuñjataḥ. But does it mean that husband will not have sex? No. Yathārham: as it is required. As it required means sex life with wife should be performed only for begetting a Kṛṣṇa conscious child. Nothing more. No more attraction. That life is better. That life means not only better; that is the ideal life. Wife and husband, combination, both should make progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Woman, they are generally equipped with the qualities of passion and ignorance. And man also may be, but man can be elevated to the platform of goodness. Woman cannot be. Woman cannot be. Therefore if the husband is nice and the woman follows—woman becomes faithful and chaste to the husband—then their both life becomes successful. There are three qualities of nature: sattva, raja, tama. So rajas-tama, generally, that is the quality of woman. And man can become to the platform of goodness. Therefore initiation, brahminical symbolic representation, is given to the man, not to the woman. This is the theory.
Therefore the combination should be that the husband should be first-class devotee, Kṛṣṇa conscious, and woman should be . . . woman should be devoted to the husband, faithful, so that she would help the husband to make progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then their both life is successful. Otherwise, if the husband simply becomes captivated by the charming beauty of woman and engages himself in the sex life, then his life is lost, and the woman, they are less intelligent, that unless they are guided by proper husband, her life is also lost.
So those who are not demigods . . . here it is said, apāyayat surān. Sura-asura. Sura, those who are not developed to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they are asura. So every husband should be a sura. Sura means devotee. And every woman should be religious. Religious means to become chaste, faithful to the husband. And the husband should become a devotee. Then both of them will make progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and that is the perfection of life.
So here it is very clearly described that anyān mohinyā. Mohinī, mohinyām, striyā, by the formation. So we should not be attracted. But generally, people are attracted. The whole world, the material world, is going on that the woman is attractive for man and the man is attractive for woman. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam. This is the general platform of attraction between man and woman. And when they are united by such attraction, then they become more materially knotted.