So long the life is there, everyone is thinking, "I have got this responsibility. I have got this responsibility. I have got this responsibility," and they are working very, very hard and doing all nonsense. Nūnaṁ pramattaḥ kurute vikarma (SB 5.5.4). Now, somebody's stealing for the sake of family maintenance, doing so many sinful activities, but when they are scattered again by the laws of nature, nobody will be sympathetic to me if I suffer for my own sinful activities. But they do by the so . . . for the so-called family. They get money, and they, due to affection . . . first of all, whatever he earns, by hook or by crook, first of all he wants to see that his wife, children are fed up very nicely. And, at last, if there is some remnants, he can eat, out of affection. You see?
So therefore this affection is the very hard knot for being bound up in this material world, this affection. Therefore the Vedic civilization is that the affection is to be cut off compulsory at a certain age, not that the affection should continue. If the affection continues, then there is no chance of my becoming free from this material world. There is no chance. Therefore vānaprastha. Because the wife's . . . affection with the wife is very, very strong. So vānaprastha means the husband and wife, they give up the affection and . . . not give up, go away from home, and they travel in the holy places just to purify, and again, when the affection draws, they come to the family, again remain for one or two months, then again go away. So the wife, there is no sex connection, but wife remains as assistant to the man to be accustomed how to remain aloof from the family. And then, when he is practiced to remain aloof from the . . . then wife is also sent back to the family, to the care of elderly children, and the man takes sannyāsa, compulsory. It is called "civil suicide." My Guru Mahārāja used to say: "Commit civil suicide." Mean . . . if you commit suicide, it is criminal. It is also suicide, no more connection with family. This is also suicide, but it is civil. There is no criminal action against . . . but it is also voluntarily committing suicide—no more connection with anyone.
Ata saba hari āra varṇāśrama-dharma, niṣkiñcana haya laya kṛṣṇaika śaraṇa. This is the . . . varṇāśrama-dharma, that is material. Varṇāśrama is planned for material life in a systematic way so that, in due course of time, one may give up the family relationship and take sannyāsa and completely devote for Kṛṣṇa's service. This is the plan of varṇāśrama-dharma. Varṇāśrama-dharma is not meant for planning something, and you remain in the family. No. The varṇāśrama . . . varṇa means brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra. Cātur-varṇyaṁ mayā sṛṣṭaṁ guṇa-karma-vibhāgaśaḥ (BG 4.13). Guṇa, not everyone is qualified in the same way. Therefore you . . . the ācārya will pick up that, "They are meant for becoming brāhmins," "They are meant for kṣatriyas." Or for coming from kṣatriya family, or the brāhmaṇa family. So first of all, these varṇas, then āśrama. The brāhmaṇa, one who is qualified as a brāhmaṇa, he has to observe the four āśramas, a brāhmaṇa: the brahmacārī-āśrama, the gṛhastha-āśrama, the vānaprastha-āśrama and sannyāsa-āśrama. The kṣatriya, they'll have to observe three āśramas: brahmacārī, gṛhastha and vānaprastha. And the vaiśyas, two āśramas, brahmacārī and gṛhastha. And śūdra, only one āśrama, only gṛhastha. A śūdra is never offered sannyāsa. A . . . only the brāhmin is offered.