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I mean I wouldn't expect that you should be that much stronger, but I don't see why you should be weaker now. Do you think it may be psychologically that you're weaker? I mean, how would you know if you were weaker now?

Expressions researched:
"I mean I wouldn't expect that you should be that much stronger, but I don't see why you should be weaker now. Do you think it may be psychologically that you're weaker? I mean, how would you know if you were weaker now"

Conversations and Morning Walks

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Because I cannot sit down.
Room Conversation -- November 4, 1977, Vrndavana:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Stop for a while now. For the rest of the night it's good if there's... (kīrtana stops) The kavirāja's assistant came this evening. We hadn't called him. I think he came on his own. He wanted to see how you were. I didn't think there was so much need for him to see you. He's not so senior a man. And the medicine is already prescribed, so what would be the benefit of his coming? We're not going to allow him to change the medicine, so I felt there was no real need. We can... Bhakti-caru Mahārāja spoke with him, gave him report of how you are.

Prabhupāda: He is also educated?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I don't really know, Śrīla Prabhupāda, how far he's educated.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: Seems too young also.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Young and... We're pretty lucky, as far as I can see, with that Damodar Prasad Shastri. He seems to be in his own category from all the kavirājas I've ever seen. He really seems different than that.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: He's also Kṛṣṇa conscious.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He really is a little Kṛṣṇa conscious.

Prabhupāda: Who?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That... The kavirāja that we brought from Calcutta. He's... The thing I liked about him also is I felt that he was the kind of person who I... Somehow I felt that in your childhood or something, that your family would have engaged some such a Marwari... You always said how the Mulliks' house was located amongst many Marwari community people. I was thinking somehow it seemed suitable that this is... Of course we don't designate like that, but somehow it seems suitable that... You know. Marwaris are... They occupy a high place in the community. Everything they do, they do very first class. Their food is first class. They do first-class business. Most of our members are from the Marwari community. Anyway, it just seemed like it was nice that this man...

Prabhupāda: Their food is first class, there is no doubt. Yes... It is certified by Sir P. C. Raya.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: By who, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: A big chemist.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What was his name?

Prabhupāda: Sir P. C. Raya.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: P. C. Raya.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: A chemist, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: Yes. He's the first chemist who started this Bengal Chemical.

Prabhupāda: He said first-class food is Marwari, and last class, Madrasi.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Madras.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: Last class?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The Madrasi.

Pañca-draviḍa: I like this doctor too, Śrīla Prabhupāda, because he was respectful to you.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Not only to Prabhupāda. They're always respectful to Prabhupāda. But that he was respectful to the devotees. That was the sign that actually he was respectful to Prabhupāda, because many of them, they show respect to Śrīla Prabhupāda, but they don't respect the devotees, which means they don't really respect what Śrīla Prabhupāda has done. He had a very good appreciation. (pause)

Prabhupāda: I had some stool.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Earlier today. That also, I see by the writing, was good color. Actually that's a good sign, that it's being passed naturally, without any artificial means. You may be feeling relief from that.

Prabhupāda: Yes. The stool which I was proposing came out by juice.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Came out naturally.

Prabhupāda: That is good.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. Did Prabhupāda have barley and milk tonight?

Bhakti-caru: No, I got it ready. I just came to ask. Śrīla Prabhupāda? (Bengali)

Prabhupāda: Hm. Now you can go.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Okay. I'm always nearby. I'm in the house all the time. (break) One thing I feel, that while there hasn't been any great improvement, on the other hand, I do not find that there has been any negative reaction or any regression since the time the kavirāja's treatment began. Of course, Your Divine Grace says that you feel weaker now than you did a week ago. If that's a fact, then...

Prabhupāda: Not so very weak.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I do find that you have more difficulty sitting up now. I notice that when you sit up you always slump over to one side, either as if you have no sufficient strength or as if you lost your balance. I can't tell which it is. You're always leaning. You're not able to sit up straight. Of course, that was there also even a week ago, but it seems a little more noticeable now. Do you think you are weaker now than you were a week ago?

Prabhupāda: Hm.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You do? That's not a good sign. I mean I wouldn't expect that you should be that much stronger, but I don't see why you should be weaker now. Do you think it may be psychologically that you're weaker? I mean, how would you know if you were weaker now?

Prabhupāda: Because I cannot sit down.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You can't sit up. You mean after being sat up you can't stay sitting up? You were never able to sit yourself up. That you were not doing since many months ago. When you say you're not able to sit down, you mean you cannot keep sitting in a sitting position? 'Cause that you were able to do in the last day or two, sitting up. It might be... I don't know, but it may be more psychological, from laying in bed all the time. Naturally there is a feeling perhaps that one is... Weakness also means one's willpower becomes more weaker. Is that possible that that may be it?

Prabhupāda: What it is, Kṛṣṇa knows.

Page Title:I mean I wouldn't expect that you should be that much stronger, but I don't see why you should be weaker now. Do you think it may be psychologically that you're weaker? I mean, how would you know if you were weaker now?
Compiler:MadhuGopaldas, Rishab
Created:09 of Aug, 2011
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=1, Let=0
No. of Quotes:1