Caitanya says "It (Caitanya's mind) wishes to drink the ocean of Krsna’s beauty, but because I am undergoing convulsions, My physician, who is Sri Krsna Himself, does not even allow Me to take a drop of water from that ocean"

Expressions researched:
"It wishes to drink the ocean of Kṛṣṇa’s beauty, but because I am undergoing convulsions, My physician, who is Śrī Kṛṣṇa Himself, does not even allow Me to take a drop of water from that ocean"

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta

CC Madhya-lila

Stricken by these three beauties, My mind goes into convulsions. It wishes to drink the ocean of Kṛṣṇa’s beauty, but because I am undergoing convulsions, My physician, who is Śrī Kṛṣṇa Himself, does not even allow Me to take a drop of water from that ocean.

CC Madhya 21.137, Translation and Purport

“My dear Sanātana, the sweetness of Kṛṣṇa’s personality is just like an ocean of ambrosia. Although My mind is now afflicted by convulsive diseases and I wish to drink that entire ocean, the repressive physician does not allow Me to drink even one drop.

When there is a combination of kapha, pitta and vāyu, the three bodily elements, there occurs sannipāti, or a convulsive disease. Lord Caitanya said, “This disease of Mine is caused by the personal features of Lord Kṛṣṇa. The three elements are the beauty of Kṛṣṇa’s body, the beauty of His face, and the beauty of His smile. Stricken by these three beauties, My mind goes into convulsions. It wishes to drink the ocean of Kṛṣṇa’s beauty, but because I am undergoing convulsions, My physician, who is Śrī Kṛṣṇa Himself, does not even allow Me to take a drop of water from that ocean.” Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was ecstatic in this way because He was presenting Himself in the mood of the gopīs. The gopīs wanted to drink the ocean of sweetness arising from the bodily features of Kṛṣṇa, but Kṛṣṇa did not allow them to come near. Consequently their desire to meet Kṛṣṇa increased, and being unable to drink the ambrosia of Kṛṣṇa’s bodily features, they became very unhappy.