So-called love means

Expressions researched:
"So-called love, here, means" |"so-called love means"

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Here the so-called love means... There is no love. It cannot be love. Because the man and woman, nobody is trying to satisfy the other party's senses.

Lecture on BG 2.9 -- London, August 15, 1973:

Therefore one has to purify the senses. At the present moment, everyone is trying to satisfy his senses. Ahaṁ mameti. Janasya moho 'yam (SB 5.5.8). Puṁsaḥ striyā maithunī-bhāvam etat. The whole material world is that... There are two living entities, male and female. The male is trying also, satisfy his senses, and the female is also trying to satisfy her senses. Here the so-called love means... There is no love. It cannot be love. Because the man and woman, nobody is trying to satisfy the other party's senses. Everyone is trying to satisfy his or her senses. A woman is loving a man for satisfying her senses, and the man is loving a woman for satisfying. Therefore, as soon as there is some little disturbance in the sense gratification, divorce. "I don't want it." Because the central point is personal sense gratification. But we can make a picture, show-bottle, "Oh, I love you so much. I love you so much." There is no love. It is all kāma, lust. In the material world, there cannot be possibility of love. It is not possible. The so-called is cheating, cheating only. "I love you. I love you because you are beautiful. It will satisfy my senses. Because you are young, it will satisfy my senses." This is the world. Material world means this. Puṁsaḥ striyā maithunī-bhāvam etat. The whole basic principle of this material world is sense gratification. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham (SB 7.9.45).

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Here the so-called love means he or she wants some return for sense gratification. So there the so-called love is lust. It is going in the market in the name of love. There is no love.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Boston, May 4, 1968:

Guest (4): Isn't it a simple idea to love life?

Prabhupāda: The same thing. If you do not know how to love, then your love may produce bad result. Just like the same example. The boy, the younger boy thought that "I am loving my elder brother," and he supplied some biscuit, which was forbidden by the physician. And as soon as the mother heard that he has supplied him biscuit, he began to beat him like anything. Punishment. He thought, "It is very good service. He's in want of, in need of biscuit. So I am supplying him, stealing from the store. Mother will not know. So I am doing very good service." But the result was beating. Similarly, we may think something that it is divine, but who is judging that this is divine or not divine? Therefore you have to learn how to serve divinely, then you can serve. Without knowing, you cannot. That will be disastrous. Everything requires expert knowledge; otherwise it will be disastrous.

Guest (4): But isn't the general idea...

Prabhupāda: General idea is very good, but the one who is going to bestow divine service, he must know what is divine service and how to become divine. Lord Caitanya says, āpani ācari prabhu jīvera śikhāya. One has to first of all exhibit himself that he is divine, then he can, I mean to say, serve others divinely. "Physician heal thyself." If a physician is diseased, a patient does not like to go to him. "Well, he is himself diseased." So divine love is very good, but one should understand what is divine love. One should not misunderstand what is divine love. Just like in the material world, lust is accepted as love. A boy is loving a girl, a girl is loving... But it is lust. That is not love. But is going on in the name of love. The boy wants to enjoy the girl, the girl wants to enjoy the boy, and that is going on in love. Love is not like that. Love means, "I enjoy or not enjoy, I love you." That is love. Just like Cowper said, "England, with all thy faults, I love you." That is love. There is no return. Just like Rādhārāṇī's love to Kṛṣṇa. She does not require any return. You see? Kṛṣṇa left Vṛndāvana, Rādhārāṇī, and their whole life remained simply crying for Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa never returned. But still, they loved Kṛṣṇa. That is love. That love is being shown by Caitanya Mahāprabhu: "Where is Kṛṣṇa? Where is Kṛṣṇa?" That's Rādhārāṇī's separation, love in separation. So love means without any return, without any sense gratification, without any consideration. That is love. Āśliṣya. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's... Āśliṣya vā pāda-ratāṁ pinaṣṭu mām adarśanān marma-hatāṁ karotu vā (CC Antya 20.47). The lover is saying to the beloved, "Either You embrace me with love or you kick me, trample me down under Your feet. And if You make me brokenhearted without meeting me, so whatever You like, You can do. Still I love You." That is love. That is only possible to love Kṛṣṇa. That is not materially possible. Here the so-called love means he or she wants some return for sense gratification. So there the so-called love is lust. It is going in the market in the name of love. There is no love.

1973 Correspondence

So-called love, here, means "you gratify my senses, I'll gratify your senses," and as soon as that gratification stops: immediately there is divorce, separation, quarrel, hatred. So many things there are, going on under this false conception of love. Actual love means love of God, Krishna.

Letter to Lynne Ludwig -- Los Angeles 30 April, 1973:

Krishna tells Arjuna, His disciple, that "It is lust only . . . which is the all-devouring, sinful enemy of this world." In the Vedic language, their word for materialistic "love" as we call it at present day; "kama" lust for material desire, not love. The word for love, actually love we find in Vedas is "prema", meaning one's love of God, only. Outside God, there is no possibility of loving. Rather it is lusty desire the whole range of human activities, whatever and whenever, so long with this atmosphere of matter, the every activity of the human being—or any living entity—is based upon or given impetus, and thus polluted, by the attraction between male and female, sex-desire. For that sex-life, the whole universe is spinning round—and suffering! That is the harsh truth. So-called love, here, means "you gratify my senses, I'll gratify your senses," and as soon as that gratification stops: immediately there is divorce, separation, quarrel, hatred. So many things there are, going on under this false conception of love. Actual love means love of God, Krishna.