So you should not be too much concerned. Do not be too much worried—forget the past, do not be attached to it for we are only thinking of how we may now please the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the devotees are always optimistic for the advancement of their spiritual progress. So in the meantime there is no question of any more marriage by you so you will become freed from the entangling grip of maya which means sex life. Just see, so many people are suffering so much just for a little sex life. I am so much disturbed by problems caused by sex life that I am not going to sanction any more marriages. Our devotees must do it at their own risk from now on and they must provide their own income for living together outside the temple or if they live in the temple they must live separately.
Marriage (Letters 1972 - 1977)
Expressions researched:
"marriage"
|"marriageable"
|"marriages"
|"married"
|"marries"
|"marrige"
|"marry"
|"marrying"
|"matrimonial"
|"remarriage"
|"remarried"
|"remarry"
|"wedlock"
Correspondence
1972 Correspondence
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated January 4, 1973, along with the check for airplane fares to Calcutta. When he has booked the flight, Syamasundara will inform you when we are arriving. So far the marriage proposal between Madhavananda and Kausalya, enclosed please find a copy of one letter I have sent to GBC men in that connection. Henceforward these matters of marriage between the devotees must be decided upon by the GBC men and other senior members by their mutual consultation. So in this case you consider with other GBC and senior men. These things should be decided by our elderly members, not I should be involved so much with matters of husband and wife. You may send the report what programs you have arranged for me in Calcutta.
If you and your wife want to have children for raising them in Krishna Consciousness, and if you are prepared to take the full responsibility for delivering them from the clutches of birth and death, then I have no objection. I have allowed my disciples to marry as a concession for having household life, because you American boys and girls are accustomed to mix freely with one another, so what can I do? But brahmacari life or celibacy is better, because if the semina is saved it fertilizes the brain for sharpening the memory, and if there is good memory, our Krishna Consciousness becomes perfect: hearing, chanting, remembering—that is the process.
I am in due receipt of your letters dated January 14 and January 24, 1972, and your telegram requesting marriage. I have no objection, and you have my blessings. Actually, most of my best managers are grhasthas, because they have a natural propensity to manage, so if you have got that also, and if you think together you and your wife can open a very nice center there in Djakarta and serve Krishna together nicely, and if your other godbrothers are recommending, then why not marry that girl. But one thing is that you shall have to be from now on fully responsible for protecting her and giving her Krishna Consciousness, and there shall never be any separation, that is our condition. So if you are willing to follow this condition, I have no objection.
Now I have just got a complaint, both in writing and in person, from a man studying here in Madras who is supposed to be engaged to marry a young girl by name of A. Satyabama, who lives at #8A Krishnan Temple, Taiping, Malaysia. He complains that you and others of our devotees in Malaysia have somehow or other caused some disturbance in the girl's family, especially Hanuman, and has requested me to ask you to not interfere in the matter anymore. Now I do not do not know what are the details, but you may inform me. We must be very careful to avoid anything scandalous in our dealings, and always keep to the highest standards of respect and courtesy. So kindly deal with such matters in future with great caution and tactfully so that our Movement may not get a bad reputation, especially among people who are very sensitive to such things. I know in your country the mixing between boys and girls is very ordinary thing, but in our Asian countries one must be very very careful about such matters, so kindly inform Hanuman and the others in this way.
Similarly, I have no objection to the marriage between Sruta das and Samista dasi, if the GBC man has approved. In future instances, if the GBC man is in agreement to marry, you need not consult me in the matter, as I have now handed over all such questions to them for deciding.
You ask about marriage, yes, actually I want that every woman in the Society should be married. But what is this training to become wives and mothers? No school is required for that, simply association. And it is not necessary to say that women only can instruct the girls and men only can instruct the boys, not when they are so young. At 12 years, they may be initiated.
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter of January 15, 1972, and I have noted the contents. Regarding your question whether husband and wife should live together in the temple, according to temple rules they should not live together in the temple. It does not give a good impression for brahmacaris and sannyasis. It is better if the grhasthas have a separate asrama, just like in Los Angeles the married disciples rent rooms together in one apartment house near the temple and live there separately, and in this way no one is disturbed, neither the brahmacaris are disturbed by householder life, nor the grhasthas are disturbed by brahmacaris. This is the best system, and if you and your good husband require to live together to advance nicely in Krishna Consciousness, that is very good proposal, but you should try to model the arrangement after the Los Angeles temple, and you should live separately, men and women, if you live in the temple itself.
She can try Jiva Goswamis "Sandarbhas"—that will be a great contribution. So far Radhika's work, I am very pleased you are continuing translating into Russian language my books and essays. This book business is the most important of all, so kindly continue giving it your full attention. Work in Russia is going on slowly, and we have got a plan to send French devotee girl there to marry our Russian boy devotee in Moscow, and then the work will go much faster. I shall inform you when we are ready for BTG in Russian language, meanwhile go on with the work. Krishna das is in Europe, you may write him c/o Hamburg center. If you have honey, why not use instead of sugar but I think it is too expensive to be practical.
You say that your wife is an emotional sentimentalist, and that this is causing you some anxiety. But you have taken her as your wife, and by our Vedic standards you are responsible for her spiritual advancement, so you must make the attempt to assist her in becoming Krishna Conscious very seriously, that is your responsibility. If, however, after much trying and serious attempts you are still unable to help her, then leave her aside. One should be interested in his individual self, one should not be interested with others if they hinder his service unduly. But you have married her, and there is no question of separation. You may live from time to time separately, but at least you must try very hard to help her perfect her spiritual life.
This brahmacari system is there, but if one is not so strong, then he is allowed to marry, but he must expect that the after-effects will always be troublesome. Everywhere I see people, man and wife with family, and all of them they suffer, but still they go on producing more. Sex means trouble. Therefore one should become dhira and don't be attracted by this sex-life.
Henceforward, anyone proposing to marry must produce some outside income and live outside the temple, they must know this in advance and be prepared to carry such burden. Let them be married, but at their own risk. I cannot sanction anymore. My Guru Maharaja never allowed, but when I came to your country it was a special circumstance so I gave concession, but I am not so much inclined anymore, so I shall not sanction, but they may marry on their own risk of knowing that such arrangement is always troublesome.
Even Lord Caitanya Himself said that sometimes when I see a wooden form of a woman, my mind becomes agitated but that does not mean that we should give it practical shape, that is intelligence. One must be convinced that sex-life without exception means trouble, therefore he is able to stop it at the thinking stage by not allowing it to be felt, much less willed and acted. I am so much disgusted by this troublesome business of marriage, because nearly every day I receive some complaint from husband or wife, and practically this is not my business as sannyasi to be marriage counsellor, so henceforward I am not sanctioning any more marriages, and those who want to marry must know in advance and be prepared to make outside income to support wife and home separately from the temple, and in the temple husband and wife shall live separately, that must be or what is the meaning of spiritual society like ours? I made a concession, but how can I encourage something which has proven to be so much trouble?
ISKCON is creating men of character. Students are required to follow strictly the regulative principles of Vedic life: 1) No illicit sex-life (i.e. outside of marriage); 2) No intoxicants, including coffee, tea, cigarettes, drugs; 3) No gambling; 4) Vegetarian diet.
I thank you very much for your letter dated May 8, 1972, and the check for $517.50. You are so nice and eager to serve Krishna, so all blessings of Krishna will be bestowed upon you, rest assured. Your wife has proven turbulent, that is the grace of Krishna. I may inform you in this connection about my family life. Actually, I never liked my wife. I was going to marry another, but my father saved me from the danger and he told me that you do not like your wife, that is the grace of Krishna. So don't be worried about your wife. If she wants to re-marry, let her do so, and you'll be free and I shall give you Sannyas and you will be preaching freely.
I have received notice from Mandakini that her Russia trip was very much successful and that she will be returning to marry Anatole as soon as she can get proper visa. So you please give her all assistance to get proper visa so that she may continue her work. She is very very nice devotee.
I heard that you were married during my absence, although I had been in Delhi there was not a chance to see you and your father. But I am remembering always you and your father, that you so selflessly aided me in my preparation for coming to the western countries and distributing the great gift of Srimad-Bhagavatam to the western society.
Regarding your questions, no, the descendants from Advaita are to be considered as dvijabandhu, that is, unless they are like brahmanas, that is, very highly qualified to know the higher values of life in the Vedic traditional way, so in that way even he is long descended from Advaita, unless he is qualified he cannot be worshipable. Nityananda has no seminal descendants, his son Birbhadra was never married. If someone said he is descended from Nityananda, that means from one of his disciples. These persons may be given some respect, but they are not equal to Advaita. Dvijabandhu means son of a brahmana father but without the qualifications. Similarly, there are Advaita-bandhus. So far the Mayapur construction work, kindly send me some photos of the current progress.
I understand you all of a sudden have gone to Bombay, and without the permission of your parents. So your father called me on phone this morning, I could not attend but I was informed by Syamasundara it is something about you. Anyway, take my advice that women, girls, until married, must be under the guidance and protection of the father. That is Vedic civilization. Under the circumstances, I request you both to go back to your father immediately. If there is any disagreement, you can settle up personally, but you cannot disobey your father.
Regarding householder life, I have no objection, this is not my responsibility. Henceforth my students must take the responsibility for their own householder life, get married outside the temple, take all risk for supporting wife and home, live outside the temple, like that. But they should live nearby and take part as much as possible in temple activities, such as mangala aratrik, sankirtana, etc. Living separately does not mean that we have nothing more to do with the devotees, no. You should associate with them as much as possible, and donate something regularly, 50% is the standard set by Sanatana Goswami. Keep your position, that's all right, but utilize it to make spiritual progress, that is the real think, not for satisfying my hankerings and desires.
The Bhagavata class should go on, just as I have shown you, with everyone attending, including the children. Read the Sanskrit sloka all together, word meanings, translation, purport and give elucidation on all points. The children should be doing the same thing we are doing, plus giving them the playing facility, a little ABC, history, mathematics, geography, like that. They should not help in cooking, nor should they take part in any hard work, they must study. After initiation, then they can learn cooking. They should not be utilized for giving service to the elderly members, they should be given chance for reading and writing. So far marriage is concerned, they must be legally married.
I am in receipt of your letter dated September 8, 1972, and have noted the contents therein. Marriage between husband and wife means that the husband must forever be responsible for the wife's well-being and protection in all cases. That does not mean that now there is agreement between us, therefore I am responsible, but as soon as there is some disagreement then I immediately flee the scene and become so-called renounced. Whether your husband likes to take responsibility as your spiritual guide or not, that does not matter. He must do it. It is his duty because he has taken you as his wife. Therefore he must take full responsibility for you the rest of his life. And you also must agree to serve him under all circumstances and assist him in every way so that he may make advancement in Krsna Consciousness. By his making advancement in Krsna Consciousness, automatically the wife will make advancement in the husband's footsteps. But if you do not assist him and be very obedient to his welfare, then he may become disgusted and go away. So there must be mutual responsibility by both parties, and now that you are married couple there is no question of your separation, but you must both strive very hard to serve Krsna together in harmony. What are these nonsense emotions that cause you to go this way and that way, the real thing is your duty. Now you are married couple, you know what your duty is, so best thing is to perform your duty and always think of Krsna. Never mind some temporary inconveniences, we must remain steady in our duty to Krsna.
I have received your letter dated September 22, 1972, and I have noted the contents carefully. I am very much encouraged that you want to join this Krsna Consciousness movement for perfection of your life. Householder life is also the perfect platform for rendering devotional service to Krsna. Any station of life, whether you are unmarried, married, or in any occupation of life, you can achieve the highest goal by adopting and practicing the principles of devotional service. You are married and your husband is striving to become a devotee of Krsna, so you become his devotee, that is the position of husband and wife, that the husband will become a great devotee of Krsna by his wife's assistance, and the wife will take benefit and advance in spiritual life by serving her husband. You are anxious about the rules and regulations, but without rules and regulations there is more frustration. So it may be a little difficult at first, but if you are sincere to achieve the highest result of your lifetime, then you can be assured that by your efforts in Krsna Consciousness that you will very quickly become happy more and more.
Another item is, you are married wife, so in that position you should serve your husband nicely always, being attentive to his needs, and in this way, because he is always absorbed in serving Krishna, by serving your husband you will also get Krishna, through him. He is your spiritual master, but he must be responsible for giving you all spiritual help, teaching you as he advances his own knowledge and realization. That is the vedic system: The wife becomes a devotee of her husband, the husband becomes a devotee of Krishna; the wife serves her husband faithfully, the husband protects his wife by giving her spiritual guidance. So you should simply do whatever your husband instructs you to do, however he may require your assistance. Of course, the nature of woman is to be attached to her husband and family, so our system is to minimize this attachment by making the ultimate goal of our activity the pleasure of Krishna. Just try to please Krishna always, and no material circumstances will be able to cause you any discomfort.
I am glad to hear that the street sankirtana and distribution of our books and magazines is going on well, especially the programme of Hindus donating magazines for free distribution to the Africans. If SubalaVilasa wants to marry that African girl, I have no objection but whether she wants to marry him? Also, take the consent of her parents and elder brothers. Such marriage may be good propaganda for our movement in Africa, but if there is any disturbance caused by it, that will be disaster, just like we saw with the Sarna girls. So you must judge whether the match will be favorable on the point that it must not cause any disturbance either in the girl's family or in the local community.
I have received report from Mandakini, she will soon married to that boy, Anatol, so you please give her all help and advice in this connection.
In your country the girls are independent, and from very young age they are accustomed to mix with young boys, so naturally there will be attraction, sex desire and marriage. Actually this whole material world is running on this attraction between man and woman. It is described in Srimad-Bhagavatam that once the boy and girl unite intimately the hard knot is formed, and the girl is thinking Oh, without him I am lost, and the boy is thinking Oh, without her I am lost, that is Maya's arrangement for keeping us bound-up tightly in the material atmosphere. If wife is there, then some money must be coming, that means work, land or factory, children, home, friends, community, nation—like that there is increasing complication of illusion of thinking: This is mine, that is mine. But they do not know that one day death will kick them out, mercilessly, and neither home, nor wife, nor children, nothing can prevent that. All along he is thinking these things are like soldiers of security to safeguard his happy life, but they are described as "fallible soldiers" because they will not help us at all. When the moment of death is there, no one may protect us, and if we are not prepared for that moment by practicing Krishna Consciousness or God-consciousness, then we shall be struck with fear and we shall not know where we are going after and what kind of body we may be forced by nature to take.
But this kind of householder life of "grihameda" consciousness does not apply to our marriages in Krishna Consciousness Movement. No. Because the sex-urge is so strong in young persons, and because they are used to mixing freely with one another, I encourage my students to get themselves married. But our point is not that hard knot as above described. It is simply a relationship of mutually helping each other, man and wife, to make advancement in spiritual life, nothing more.
So children have parents, elderly persons must have grown up children to protect them, and woman must have husband. And it is recommended they should be married at very early age, then the wife will remain always chaste and devoted to her husband. At such young age, from the first night onwards, she can never for a moment forget him, being still child and unspoiled, therefore she becomes the perfect chaste wife, and in those times the wife was so much devoted to her husband that she would voluntarily die in the fire of his cremation, unable to live without him. Myself, I was very young when I got married, and my wife was 11 years only. But there is no question of separation in our marriage belief, neither your daughter will ever be separated from that boy, that is their vow. Rather, it is when people are a little grown-up, when they have got little independence and their own ways of doing things, then if they marry there is often difficulty to adjust, just as it is more difficult to bend the bamboo when it is yellow. So I can assure you that you may have nothing to fear that your daughter has married such a nice boy: bahunam janmanam ante, jnanavan mam prapadyante, vasudevah sarvam iti, sa mahatma sudurlabhah (BG 7.19). Krishna assures us that "After many many births and deaths, he who is actually in knowledge surrenders unto Me, knowing Me to be the cause of all causes and all that is. Such a great soul is very rare." (Bhagavad-gita, VII, 19). In this light, try to view these children. They have realized that life together spent in the pursuit of God is real knowledge, and that they have not done lightly by any means, no actually they must be considered as great souls, the most exalted persons among all persons. Our married couples are rendering the greatest service to humanity, their countrymen, and to their parents, of that kindly be assured by me. Do not worry for anything in this connection, you are a great gentleman, otherwise you could not have fostered such intelligent daughter, and gentlemen are known to be broad-minded, so therefore I appeal to you as their spiritual father to encourage them in every respect. Hoping this meets you in good health.
Yes, if there are African girls also who want to join us, and if they get the consent of their elder family members to live with us, they may live in the temple provided there is separate place for them so that boys and girls will not mix freely, just as we are doing everywhere. If that boy wants to marry your African girl, I have no objection as long as she obtains the permission of her parents and elders, and provided they live separately in the temple, or if they live together, they must live outside. Mr. Shah has sent me one letter of complaint in financial matters, so I have forwarded it to Brahmananda. Now you together deal with these money matters and Mr. Shah, should I always have to be consulted in these things? Enclosed find the copy of amendment, duly signed.
You have named your child Bhakta Saumya Abhay Charan Dasa, so that's all right. But if you leave your wife with such new-born child, to open other center or take sannyas, what will be the result or benefit of mother alone with child? There must be some proper arrangement, that is not our policy to get married an go away without any responsibility for these things. Husband-wife means he must accept responsibility for her his life-long, it is not such light matter we can reject and do as we like, no. Better I think you stick there for some time more, live peacefully husband and wife, and develop the temple to your full capacity. Later on we shall see to other things.
So let her live in New York and you live in Paris with your wife, what can be done? But you should not ever see or correspond in any way with her again. That will be the worst example. If you are leader, how you can do these things? If someone will have her, she may get herself married and be happy in Krsna consciousness—I do not want that she shall go away from shame. But you must have nothing more to do with her. Just like (another devotee) has done. He was like the sifter, full of holes, and he was finding fault only in others: Oh, just see that needle, he has got a hole. Now he has made one girl pregnant and they were found out, so he has left me as my personal servant. That is the common practice: full of holes, yet they are accusing others, "Oh! He has got one hole!
1973 Correspondence
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated December 22, 1972, and I have noted the contents with care. For these questions arising between married husband and wife, you are requesting me to leave your wife and take the vanaprastha order of life, for these questions you must consult with and take permission from presidents and GBC. Yes, I know your wife Lilasakti, and I know that she is very serious and advanced disciple. But now you are married to her, there is some obligation according to our Krsna consciousness or Vedic system. These things cannot be taken so lightly, otherwise the whole thing will become a farce. Simply get married without considering what is the serious nature of married life, then if there is little disturbance, or if I do not like my wife or my husband, let me go away, everyone else is doing like that. So in this way the whole thing is becoming a farce. You say that your "association together was hindering your advancement." But Krsna consciousness marriage system should not be taken in that way, that if there is any botheration that means something is hindering my spiritual progress, no. Once it is adopted, the grhastha life, even it may be troublesome at times, it must be fulfilled as my occupational duty.
Now I do not know the situation in your particular case, I am simply giving you the general policy or background understanding. We should never think of our so-called advancement as being conditioned by or dependent upon some set of material circumstances such as marriage, vanaprastha, or this or that. Mature understanding of Krsna consciousness means that whatever condition of life I am in at present, that is Krsna's special mercy upon me, therefore let me take advantage in the best way possible to spread this Krsna consciousness movement and conduct my spiritual master's mission. If I consider my own personal progress or happiness or any other thing personal, that is material consideration. If there was unhappy adjustment for becoming married, why you got married at all? Whatever is done, is done, that is a fact, but I am only pointing out that once before you did something without proper study of your real responsibility, now you are contemplating again some drastic action in a similar manner.
Rather our devotion is the important factor, so what does it matter what I am doing so long my work and energy are completely devoted to Krsna? Just like Krsna, He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He has no work, neither He has anything to do, still He comes here to teach us this lesson. He accepts not only His occupational duty as cowherd boy, royal prince, but also He accepts married life, He enters politics, He is philosopher, He is even chariot driver during a great battle, He does not give example of Himself avoiding His occupational duty. So if Krsna Himself is exhibiting by His own conduct what is the perfection of existence, then we should heed such example if we are intelligent. Even supposing there is wife at home, with children, that does not matter, that is no hindrance to our spiritual life. And once we have accepted these things, occupational duties, we should not lightly give them up. That is the point. Of course, our occupational duty is as preachers of Krsna consciousness. So we must stick to that business under all circumstances, that is the main thing. Therefore married, unmarried, divorced, whatever condition of life, my preaching mission does not depend on these things. The varnasrama-dharma system is scientifically arranged by Krsna to provide facility for delivering the fallen souls back to home, back to Godhead. And if we make a mockery of this system by whimsically disrupting the order, that we must consider. That will not be a very good example if so many young boys and girls so casually become married and then go away from each other, and the wife is little unhappy, the husband is neglecting her in so many ways, like that. If we set this example, then how the thing will go on properly? Householder life means wife, children, home, these things are understood by everyone, why our devotees have taken it as something different? They simply have some sex desire, get themselves married, and when the mater does not fulfill their expectations, immediately there is separation—these things are just like material activities, prostitution. The wife is left without husband, and sometimes there is child to be raised, in so many ways the proposition that you, and some others also, are making becomes distasteful. We cannot expect that our temples will become places of shelter for so many widows and rejected wives, that will be a great burden and we shall become the laughingstock in the society. There will be unwanted progeny also. And there will be illicit sex life, that we are seeing already. And being the weaker sex, women require to have a husband who is strong in Krsna consciousness so that they may take advantage and make progress by sticking tightly to his feet. If their husband goes away from them, what will they do? So many instances are already there in our Society, so many frustrated girls and boys.
So I have introduced this marriage system in your Western countries because there is custom of freely intermingling male and female. Therefore marriage required just to engage the boys and girls in devotional service, never mind distinction of living status. But our marriage system is little different than in your country, we do not sanction the policy of quick divorce. We are supposed to take husband or wife as eternal companion or assistant in Krsna consciousness service, and there is promise never to separate. Of course if there is any instance of very advanced disciples, married couple, and they have agreed that the husband shall now take sannyasa or renounced order of life, being mutually very happy by that arrangement, then there is ground for such separation. But even in those cases there is no question of separation, the husband, even he is sannyasa, he must be certain his wife will be taken care of nicely and protected in his absence. Now so many cases are there of unhappiness by the wife who has been abandoned by her husband against her wishes. So how can I sanction such thing? I want to avoid setting any bad example for future generations, therefore I am so much cautiously considering your request. But if it becomes so easy for me to get married and then leave my wife, under excuse of married life being an impediment to my own spiritual progress, that will not be very good at all. That is misunderstanding of what is advancement in spiritual life. Occupational duty must be there, either this one or that one, but once I am engaged in something occupational duty, then I should not change that or give it up, that is the worst mistake. Devotional service is not bound up by such designations. Therefore once I have chosen, it is better to stick in that way and develop my devotional attitude into full-blown love of Godhead. That is Arjuna's understanding.
So far getting new place, that Sarat Building is nice but we have already purchased our other building for Shs. 200,000. But if we can sell that place to buy the Sarat Building, then it is all right. Whatever is agreed upon between yourself and Brahmananda, I have no objection. Your program for mass wholesale distribution of our propaganda, especially books, throughout Africa, is very much appreciated by me. That is the highest type of activity of human form of life, to distribute Krsna's message profusely as far as it is possible for me to do.
So far Harikrpa marrying that African girl, although the father has told you he has no objection, still, there must be something in writing. And if Brahmananda also agrees, then you may perform the ceremony nicely in our temple.
Your letter dated December 28, 1972, is in hand and I have noted the contents carefully. According to our Vedic process, polygamy is allowed. For example, Krsna married 16,000 wives, Arjuna married 3 or 4 wives, Krsna's father Vasudeva, married 16 or 18 wives, like that. So according to the Vedic system polygamy is not prohibited. But it is not a farce also. Every wife must be provided for sufficiently. Krsna married 16,000 wives, but each wife was provided a palace and He was personally present at each palace. It does not meant to marry many wives and maintain none of them. If anyone is able to keep more than one wife and give them all comforts of life, there is no objection for having more than one wife. But if he creates trouble by marrying, he should not marry even one wife, this is my judgment. Now you can do the needful, taking into consideration the circumstances of the laws of your country, the customs of your people, the reputation of our society, the example which will be set for future devotees to follow, like that. For karmis, the Vedic system of marriage was given by Krsna so they may come gradually to the point of becoming devotees. But for devotees, it is advised to minimize sex life to the point of nil. So if that cannot be done, then there is regulation of sex life by marriage. Actually the system of polygamy is natural because the human entity is meant for transcending the animal forms of life and going back to home, back to Godhead. Therefore there should remain a class of men who do not marry in the society. But that will create an unfavorable situation of excessive population of unmarried women. Therefore it is advised that all women get themselves married, and if there is any man who is better able to maintain wife and family, he is advised to marry as many women as he can maintain and thereby free other men in the society to remain brahmacari. So I can understand that many men of our society have got themselves married only for some disastrous result. That means that not all of our men are meant for married life, but because there are so many women we may not leave them unprotected without husband, that will also not serve us well. Therefore it will be the best idea if those who are well-qualified as husbands to keep more than one wife very much satisfied in every respect, if such men can marry more than once. That will free the others to remain brahmacari. But you must consider very carefully the possibility of becoming scandalized in the public for breaking their laws in this way. And in future also the devotees who are neophyte may not understand our policy in this connection, and we gradually could wind up attracting only a class of men who are very eager for unlimited sex life only. These things must be avoided at all cost.
So you GBC men now decide how to manage things so nicely so that I may spend my time solely for translating my books. This I desire. Each GBC man can act as my secretary for one month at a time as I originally planned. In this way you will all be trained up nicely. Syamasundara Prabhu will returning to London in order to get that building.
Your suggestions about marriage are very nice. Marriage is a great responsibility and should not be taken lightly.
I shall be in Sydney until the 18th, and shall be returning to India by the first week of March after visiting New Zealand and Indonesia. As Sudama Maharaja has indicated his desire to remain in U.S. Japan may be included in your GBC zone for the present. I hope this finds you well.
Your program for those who are desiring to take sannyasa is approved by me and I request that you make something concrete and distribute it to all the other GBC members and amongst yourselves you may decide who will take sannyasa.
Your question in regard to marriage, we must impress upon the parties involved that Krishna Conscious marriage is not some cheap thing that may be embraced whimsically and at any time thrown off. The boy and girl must be willing to accept each other for life and be prepared to get a job if need be and live in an outside apartment and raise children. These points should be emphasized.
Regarding Nanda Kumar, try to help him. He is a good boy and he will come out again very nicely. But he must marry that girl, we cannot play with sex-life, that is not our business. If he shows he is faithful for three months, then he again can take care of Radha-Krsna.
Your book distribution, that is very nice. Our books are unique, all this distribution means that they are being appreciated. There is no such literature throughout the whole world.
Your program for printing our literature is very encouraging to me because that is our major effort for pushing on this movement, so kindly distribute these literatures far and wide as possible.
The marriage of Hari Kripa with the African girl is alright with me if you and Brahmananda Maharaja agree in the matter, these kinds of decisions I am leaving up to you to make in the future.
Yes, you may perform the marriages in the Temple room, but after the legal marriage has lasted at least 6 months to a year. Then we can know they are faithful and serious. Yes, I will be glad to attend an engagement in a hall filled with 4,000 people, but I cannot fix a date for my arrival in L.A. at this moment. By the 16th I shall be going to Mayapur and then on the 22nd to Hyderabad until the 26th to Bombay. After that my program is not presently fixed up.
I am glad to hear that our Krsna das Prabhu is back in our company. He is a good boy, but since he has been married there has been difficulty. So now he is returning with his wife and child and he must be given all encouragement.
You mentioned about your Temple bus, and that is very nice. When I saw Rupanuga's bus in New Vrndavana I wanted that there be a whole fleet. But you should not take Radha-Krsna travelling, better you take Gaura-Nitai. For serving Gaura-Nitai there is no offense, but if Radha-Krsna is there and there is some discrepancy, then there is great offense and this should be avoided. Therefore, I gave the same advice to Visnujana when I was in Pittsburgh.
I have also received one nice note from Maria, and I am pleased, by your request, to accept her as my initiated disciple. I have chanted upon the enclosed beads. Her new name is Venugit dasi which means playing on flute. So now she can marry Hari Kripa das and I think for the new householders Deity worship will be nice. I remember Hari Kripa, he is very intelligent boy.
I am pleased to note that as of January 1st you have given up eating of meat, fish or eggs, as well as intoxicants and gambling. You have asked what is meant by illicit sex. . Sex should be used only in marriage for begetting nice children to raise in Krsna Consciousness. Krsna says in the Bhagavad-gita that I am sex life performed according to religious principles. Sex life for any other purpose means illicit sex. The use of contraceptive method for sex enjoyment is very sinful. Restraint in the matter of these four sinful activities is achieved by tasting the superior mellows of Krsna Consciousness. You say that you are chanting 15 minutes daily from 8:15-8:30. Please go on and increase this chanting as much as you can and that will help you very much in advancing in Krsna Consciousness.
Independence for women means they become like prostitutes, struggling to capture some man who will take care of her. In this way the so called independent woman has to work very hard to make herself attractive by artificially wearing cosmetics—mini skirts and so many other things. Formerly the girl would be married to a suitable boy at a very early age, say six years old. But although a girl was married early she did not stay with her husband immediately, but was gradually trained in so many ways how to cook, clean and serve her husband in so many ways—up until the time of her puberty. So all the time there was no anxiety because a girl would know—I have got a husband, and the boy would know I have got this girl as my wife. Therefore when the boy and girl would come of age there was no chance of illicit sex-life. And the pychology is the first boy that a girl accepts in marriage, that girl will completely give her heart to, and this attachment on the girls side for her husband becomes more and more strong, thus if a girls gets a good husband—one who has accepted a bona fide spiritual master and is firmly fixed up in his service, automatically the wife of such a good husband inherits all the benefits of his spiritual advancement.
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 25.9.73 and I have immediately informed the man in charge in Paris to suspend the marriage. the copy of the letter to Bhagavan Das, the man in charge, is sent herewith.
Herewith please find one letter from Mr. Khilnani father of Anita, and the contents will speak for itself. I wish that the marriage will be suspended for the time being unless the father agrees to this marriage. According to the Vedic system marriage takes place according to the sanction of the parents, although this is not being followed strictly at the present moment.
So read this letter and do the needful so we may not create some disturbing marriage condition.
I beg to inform you that I have received a very nice report from Hamsaduta of the Moscow activities, and I may request you in this regard to please immediately send Mandakini there for being married to Ananta Santi Das. Both of them will get good strength from it. So please do the needful.
I have not received any report from you of Paris affairs since coming to India, so please send me the report.
It is very encouraging that the boy without any association is maintaining the standard. This is due to his chanting 16 rounds and following the regulative principles. Now he should be in your charge, so you kindly guide him and keep him in our atmosphere and utilize him properly, but steadily and cautiously. Yes, you arrange for their marriage. I am writing both Bhagavan Das and Mandakini, the copies herewith enclosed. Their marriage will be very good, and both of them will get some strength. So guide them both as you think best. Yes, have our literature translated into Russian. Why not have our Bhagavad gita distributed underground there as they are doing the Bible? So you support him in any way, and write Mandakini to immediately go there. So far his engagement is concerned, it is not necessary that he join the Christian order. Better as you have suggested to preach amongst their friends and to gradually induce them to take interest.
1974 Correspondence
If only these things we can do our lives can become perfect. I think you have my books so please study them carefully. There is no other scripture which can compare to the Vedic scriptures so we should study these scriptures exclusively. When one becomes an initiated disciple although he has respect for the Christian Bible, nevertheless he must understand the Bhagavad-gita and must apply all study there and not spend time unnecessarily with other literatures. Therefore if you can chant and follow the four regulative principles and read our books only I am sure you will find a relief from all difficulties. Regarding marriage matters and second initiations, these things should be taken up with GBC representative for that zone. More and more I wish to not be involved in management affairs and want to devote me time to translating books so please have some trust in those representatives I have placed as Temple presidents and GBC members. They know the standard procedures in these matters and they can advise you.
Regarding your proposal newsletter to all-ISKCON branches for recruiting men for agricultural work at Bhaktivedanta Manor. This is not a practical plan. No one from a for country will go to London for agricultural work. If you cannot find local men, how can expect men from other countries to come and work? I have experienced that even men of this country do not go to New Vrindaban. You know, Srutakirti who was my personal servant. He has now become married and Kirtanananda Maharaja asked him to go to New Vrindaban but he said he doesn't like farm life. People are now accustomed to live in the city and if all of a sudden he is transferred to the village then certainly he feels difficulty. Especially in the western countries, gradually even farmers are leaving their professional business and going to the city to enjoy facilities there. If you get local men to work at this agricultural attempt that will be better. Otherwise, don't spend time and money in distributing this newsletter.
7. Lord Nityananda never took sannyasa. He was independent, like a brahmacari, and later he became married.
On the whole, I see Gaurasundara as a victim of a woman. Anyone who becomes a victim of woman, his falldown is inevitable. In our society the girls and boys mix, intermingle together and this is practically impossible to stop because you western people are accustomed to the habit. Sometimes my Godbrothers criticize me for intermingling of girls and boys. But there is no way out of it—you girls and boys will mix even if I say so they cannot avoid it. They sit separately in the temple and then outside mix again. So this was not possible from the beginning. Therefore I get the boys and girls married. But nature is so strong that in spite of being married they are attracted to the opposite sex.
There is no question of your returning to Nara-Narayana. He has remarried, and I also informed him when I was in L.A. last time, that he should keep his one wife, living peacefully in L.A. You have got one child, so now make Krsna your husband and take shelter of our temple. The Detroit temple where you are now is very suitable I think, and you say you are much inspired by devotees like Govardhana and the others. So take spiritual instructions from your elder Godbrothers and sisters, forget the past, and make all progress in Krsna Consciousness without any material lamentation or hankering.
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated May 11. I am very sorry that your husband Mahatma das has taken my letter to him in the wrong way and has told you to get married to another man although you are only 20 years old and have a 7 month old son. This is a most irresponsible and nonsensical proposal on his part. I never wrote or intended that he should leave you. He can stay out and distribute books on sankirtana, but for that he can remain grhastha, nor does it means he perpetually remains on sankirtana party forgetting his responsibilities. You write that you badly need your husbands instruction and security, therefore, this is natural, so he may go on sankirtana but he must also spend time with you as you require, not in the mood of sense gratification but for cooperation in Krsna Consciousness.
Do not be discouraged if so far the collections have not been very great in terms of money. More important than the results is the activity. Krsna wants to see that you are fully engaged with all sincerity in preaching His glories; that will please Him, not a certain amount of money. Moreover, if you remain determined in that activity, then automatically the results will come. It is like a woman who becomes married; if she immediately desires to have a child, that is not possible. But because she is associating with her husband, after due time, in 9 months she may have a child. We have to be enthusiastic, determined and patient in the execution of our duties.
I am in due receipt of your five letters. I am glad to know that you are in good health and practicing Krishna consciousness nicely. So far the question of marriage, this is generally not the concern of a sannyasi. Therefore I have asked the temple presidents to take care of this matter in a mature and responsible way. I therefore request you to approach the temple president there and the GBC and ask for their advise.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated Sept, 1 1974 and have noted the contents. Regarding the marriage of Ramiya devi dasi; you can find out a suitable boy there, I think that Bhagavan das can arrange this. It is not necessary for Bilvamangala to marry this particular girl, another can be found out. Regarding the remarks of Prof. Jean Herbert, in Bhagavad-gita we find no instruction except devotional service or bhakti yoga. We have to prove this from the statements of the Bhagavad gita. We cannot accept the interpretation of an outsider.
I am in due receipt of your letter in Hindi and have noted the contents. To join our mission first of all you have to become a pure Vaisnava. For this purpose you have to remain with us and live the techniques in your life. Then you can be trained up as a preacher. We do not allow anyone become a preacher unless he is strictly following the Vaisnava principles of no eating meat, fish, or eggs; no sex outside of marriage; no gambling; and no taking any kind of intoxication whatsoever. You must also chant 16 rounds Hare Krishna on the japa beads.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated June 12, 1974 (sic) and have noted the contents. We do not allow divorce, but in your country it is a common thing. Although we do not like it, according to the country, what can be done? There is a Sanskrit saying, Do according to the country's laws. If both the present husband and wife agree to divorce, then they can do it and re-marry, what can be done?
Atlanta facility of 10 acre and 3 building sounds very nice. Purchasing or renting doesn't matter. Only here in India is a purchased house more important than a rented house. The prasadam program must be continued and increased. It is very good program for attracting the students. They have never tasted this kind of foodstuffs. Regarding Miami that you want to replace Abhirama, yes a capable man must be there, what can be done. But I have already written that he can marry that girl and divorce his wife. Regarding Washington, D.C., that Damodara is also resigning, we are increasing in so many ways, but our men are deteriorating. What to do? Regarding Gainesville installation of Gaura-Nitai, where did you get the murtis from?
I am in due reciept of your letter dated October 13rd, 1974 in which you request to become married. You can consult this matter with Hamsaduta who is my representative. He is Grhastha and he can advise you in this matter. Please go on regularly chanting your rounds and pushing on Krishna Consciousness philosophy to everyone you meet. This will help you remain fixed in devotional service.
Regarding free will and pre-destination, yes, materially everything is decided. Spiritually you can make advancement despite all material destiny. Materially you cannot change things as they are but spiritually it is possible. No, devotees are not allowed more than one wife. Devotees should have no wife if possible, but those who cannot maintain celibacy, they can marry one wife. At the present moment people are so unfortunate they cannot maintain even one wife. First of all at the present moment they are not married and remain mostly unmarried. So for such persons even one wife is a great burden. Under the circumstances how one can think of more than one wife? This is stupidity.
If Spiritual Sky is a separate concern then what is the need of our own men who are capable preachers to be engaged in that way. I want that my books be distributed in huge quantities, and thus we will be able to thoroughly convince the majority of the population especially there in America. But finances are also needed. Therefore for further direction you please contact the GBC men and they will give you consultation. The more one preaches the more he becomes expert and the more he is able to convince others.
Concerning your marriage ceremony that is to be sanctioned by the temple president or GBC.
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 19-12-74 and have noted the contents. Your life will become perfect if you can engage yourself fully in the devotional service of Sri Krsna. As stated in your letter now you are retired from your job and your daughters are getting married. This means that your grhastha life is almost finished. Therefore, according to Varnasrama Dharma you should spend the rest of your life simply engaged in there devotional service of the Lord. It has been the ancient custom that the man in the later years of his life, usually after the age of 50, prepares to leave home and takes the order of vanaprastha, taking pilgrimages to different holy lands. Then eventually he may take sannyasa, the renounced order of life, with no connection with family whatsoever.
You mentioned in your letter that you are getting only a tourist visa for Moscow. But my original plan was that by marrying this man you would be able to get a permanent resident/permit there in Russia as his wife. But apparently this is very difficult. Therefore I think for now you should remain there in __, executing your devotional service, preaching nicely, caring for the Deities nicely. Try to get some type of permanent residence permit for Russia. If you can not get this residence permit then I think it is better not to go there. We shall see as Krsna desires.
1975 Correspondence
I am in due receipt of your letter dated Feb. 3rd, 1975 and have noted the contents. Regarding your purchasing marble Gaura-Nitai deities, it is not necessary when you already have brass ones. Simply take care of the ones that you have very nicely. There is no need for buying others.
Concerning the woman's duty, if she gets married, that does not necessarily mean that she must give up any of her service in the temple or on sankirtana, but she must also see to it that her household duties are not neglected.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated Feb. 6th, 1975 and have noted the contents. Regarding your problem of not being able to get married, this is not the proper type of question to place before your spiritual master. I think you should discuss this matter with Rupanuga das. Anyway, you should be sure to follow all the regulative principles without fail and to chant at least 16 rounds daily. If you do these things, then in any position of life you will be satisfied. Krishna is fully aware of your every necessity and he will surely provide everything that you need for your bodily maintenance. You should have this kind of faith.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated June 16, 1975 hand delivered by Brahmananda Swami. So now that you are married you work together to spread Krsna consciousness. Marriage means that one's service becomes doubled, but at the same time we have to be very careful not to fall into sense gratification. That tendency is there, and we have to be always vigilant. Best thing is to chant carefully our 16 rounds on the beads and always think of Krsna.
Yes, you can use BBT payments from the temples for printing the books. I paid Giriraja three lakhs from the Book Fund and Gargamuni was also given money from the Book Fund. Besides this there are the regular collections, so use this money.
Regarding your questions, no, the large Deity can never be moved, not at all. Regarding remarriage, no, remarriage should be always discouraged. Remarriage means encouraging sense gratification. Our mission is to curtail sense gratification. Three times marrying in a year, this is not good, and they are doing this.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated August 11, 1975 and have noted the contents. What you have done is good. Why should you remarry? Rather you should take sannyasa. Now you are getting very good training. Why has Jayatirtha suggested you to remarry?
In Delhi there is a certain kind of laddu which has such a taste, that anyone who has tasted it once, he laments, oh how I would like to taste again. And anyone who has never tasted, he also laments, oh I have never tasted. So one who has tasted, and one who has not tasted, both are lamenting. Wife is like that. You have already tasted, now you are lamenting. But my advice to you is not to try to taste again, otherwise your lamentation will increase. You have got no children, so you are free, so take sannyasa.
I have seen your letter dated August 17, 1975 and have noted the contents. I never said there should be no more marriage. By all means legally you can get married. How can I object? They misunderstand me. Unless it is there from me in writing, there are so many things that "Prabhupada said."
I have no objection to marriage, but to bless it by a fire sacrifice, that I am thinking that if they don't stay together, then it is not good. But if they can remain together for one year, then there can be fire sacrifice. But changing three times in a month husband and wife, that is not good.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated August 8, 1975 with enclosed check for U.S. 50.00. I have noted the contents of your letter. You have been married for a year and a half but do not have any desire for children. Then why did you marry? That is my question. If you do not want children, then why did you marry? You should not take sannyasa.
Regarding the question of second marriage, it cannot be done. Neither the law will allow it and neither we can encourage it. If they want to marry more than one wife, they must live outside our temples in their own arrangements. We have no objection if he does it, but it must be done outside the temple. It cannot be done inside the temple jurisdiction. Outside he can work, earn money, and if he wants he can maintain 16,000 wives. But he must go outside the Society. Within the Society only one marriage can be allowed.
I thought these boys and girls will be married and be happy. But, I see that they are not satisfied. In the Western countries they are trained up in a different way. Jumping from one to another. Another wife, another husband. This is the disease all over the world. Simply by agreement, then cancelled, then another agreement.
Everyone wants more than one wife. That is human nature. This means their mind is not being diverted to Krishna. Because they are not madan mohan, they are madan dahan, they are in the Cupid's fire. You want them to have more wives under GBC supervision. You will supply the maintenance? What is this nonsense? They must go outside the Society to do it. And, the sort of marriage where they are not satisfied cannot be allowed. Nor can women with child strictly she cannot marry again.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated September 8, 1975 and have noted the contents. Yes, the girls when married to a brahmana, still they have to be recommended. She may be recommended by her husband.
The idea of a woman's asrama is good. Those not married, if there is not provision for separate living quarters for them in the temples, they can go there. It is very risky having single women living in the temples, especially where there is no suitable living quarters.
I am also in receipt of your letters dated October 20 & 21, 1975. I note that your wife and Visalaini both gave birth to baby girls. That is the defect. I want male children but you have no stamina for it. I expected from Visalaini by her belly that it would be a boy. Anyway, never mind. The name Brijlata is nice. Why do the majority of my married disciples give birth to girls? That is nice that Upendra wants to stay and is calling for his family. Anyone who can stay permanently is welcome. I want that as many devotees stay permanently and become Brijabasis. That will be very inspiring. I am coming there soon.
I have noted your ten requests and I think that yes, there should be a GBC man who I have delegated who can take care of these matters. So Satsvarupa Maharaja, he is the right man. Regarding your request for Krsna consciousness marriage, oh yes, certainly Satsvarupa Maharaja, he can perform the ceremony.
You have to consult this with Ramesvara. Regarding taking sannyasa, this mentality that either I will have sex life or I will take sannyasa, this is not proper. Sannyasa means that one is finished with material life. So you have gotten married and you are in family life. So you should remain there. So you thought that by getting married you would expand your service. So you should do that. Actually all my disciples are sannyasis because they have surrendered everything in the service of Krsna.
I thank you very much for your invitation card on the occasion of your fortunate girl Anu Karna with Sriman Hari Kantaji. Please convey my blessings to the newly married couple to become Krishna conscious and be happy in life. I am going to Vrindaban next week and I invite you to come to our Krishna Balarama temple, Raman reti Vrindaban.
As long as we are on the material platform, bodily conception of life we will hanker for so many things required for material supremacy. Therefore to clear this cloudy consciousness Caitanya Mahaprabhu recommended that one should simply chant the Holy name of God sincerely and hear it with attention. To chant dance, take prasadam and be happy. Marriage is not recommended. Are you prepared to get a job, live outside the temple in apartment, provide the wife with bangles saris and sex? Better you concentrate on this chanting and hearing process, teach others and give them prasadam. So you and Bhumadeva are doing this already, now be steady and increase it more and more. Hamsaduta will guide you in this engagement, he is there to help you execute your program.
Regarding your getting married, I have no objection. However as a brahmacari you are not obligated to marry, what is the advantage to your getting married? That should be considered. If one can remain brahmacari that is best. Finish this life and go back to Godhead, that is the basic idea of Krishna consciousness movement. So you decide.
1976 Correspondence
Spiritual life means to become pure, and chanting Hare Krishna will automatically make you pure. But just as when a physician prescribes a certain medicine, he also describes the conditions under which the medicine will be most effective. Similarly, the chanting will have the most effect if you can abide by the principles of purified living: First, no eating of meat, fish, or eggs. Second, no gambling. Third, no taking of any kinds of intoxicants such as drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee or tea. And fourth, no illicit sex life, which means sex life only within marriage and then only for the purpose of procreating Krishna Conscious children. If you can follow these principles and chant Hare Krishna, you will make great spiritual advancement. The best thing is for you to associate with the devotees at the Dallas Temple, then it will be much easier.
I am in due receipt of your invitation letter and I am very glad that your daughter Kum Kum is going to be married. Please convey all my blessings to the bride and bridegroom.
I shall remain in Mayapur up to the Gaura Purnima festival in April. Then I shall go to Delhi for our festival there. It will be a great pleasure for me to see you, your daughter and your new son in law at that time.
Thank you for serving steadily and taking responsibility in Krishna Consciousness.
The spiritual master cannot be approached for solving marriage problems. That is not the business of the guru.
I received one letter from Shaktimata Devi Dasi whom you know from London. She is presently in Nairobi and is looking for a good husband for her daughter. She wrote one letter appealing that you might consider marrying her daughter. So, if you are agreeable then I have not objection.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated 10-3-76, and I have noted the contents with care. It is best that you stay there in Nairobi. There you have your family, and you can assist in the activities of the Nairobi Temple. If there is any further question in this connection, Brahmananda Maharaja is there and he can further direct you. So far your daughter's marriage is concerned, I have no business. I cannot negotiate marriage. That is impossible. Neither there is any need for her to be sent to India. So you continue there in Nairobi, and take direction from Brahmananda Swami, that will be best. Try to remain always engaged in Krishna's service.
Concerning marriages in the Bombay centre as a means of income, if it does not disturb the daily routine, then it can be done. However, the marriages can not take place before the Deity in the temple. Where in the tower would you plan to have the marriages take place? What rooms would be utilized for this purpose?
I am enclosing a copy of the letter to the Bank of America requesting them to issue payment to the ECC (Engineering Construction Corporation). See that this copy is given to Giriraja das, and he can see that this transaction takes place according to instructions contained therein.
Concerning the altars, it is not necessary to have three altars of different style. All the three altars should be of the same style. I am enclosing the copy of the style which I have approved for all three altars. This style is nice, the one which you had chosen for Lord Ramacandra's altar, so you can use this style for all three.
Your plan for holding marriages in the theater, and on the theater roof will be acceptable. What will be the expected income?
The best thing will be if you come here to New York and leave your situation there at Bombay. You are a very sincere devotee, that I know, and there are many nice girls here like Silavati who you can associate with. We have just had our Rathayatra here down Fifth Avenue and it was a grand success. It is a very nice field for expanding Krishna Consciousness and you will be very happy here I know. It is not advisable to marry again as this may disturb your former husband who is now engaged in preaching activities. So rather you can come here to New York where your service will be appreciated and there is very nice association with so many nice girls.
You and your son should come immediately to Vrndavana and stay under the direction of Gurukula. You may engage as a teacher of young children and your son will be a student. You will be supported by a pension that your husband has now received from the US government.
There are three enemies. One of them is the mother with child who marries again. The child should be raised in Krsna consciousness movement where both of you will advance in developing love of God.
I am in due receipt of your letter dated 6, September, 1976 and have noted the contents with care. Thank you very much for your kind offer to have me as your Permanent Acarya and Honorary Chairman. I will accept this if your organization and members are agreed to follow the four regulative principles which discriminate animal life from human life, i.e. no eating of meat fish or eggs; no illicit sex life outside of marriage and then only for the begetting of God conscious children; no intoxicants, including coffee, tea, or cigarettes; no gambling, not even bingo. Unless one follows these principles, spiritual life is not possible.
Let this couple first of all legally marry. After that we bless them by observing a fire ceremony. It is not necessary to burden me with these matters. Please consult with the local GBC.
I know that you are intelligent and can act very nicely to help spread Krsna consciousness. If you feel Maya attracting, then live an honest life as a householder and contribute to our movement. As a family man you can join Svarupa Damodara to help with the Bhaktivedanta Institute. Caitanya Mahaprabhu says it doesn't matter whether one is a sannyasi, grhastha, brahmana, or sudra. You have intelligence. Study more and more. If you think that you should be married, then do that and assist Bhaktivedanta Institute by giving service. My request is, don't become an ordinary foolish man. Keep Krsna consciousness in any condition of life. That is success.
It appears that you are an unmarried brahmacari. So, if you continue this status of life for the matter of executing devotional service, that will be a great advantage. Many great personalities remain brahmacari throughout their whole lives and get freedom from material bondage very easily. Of course marriage is not prohibited in devotional service, but if one can remain brahmacari, in unmarried life, it is a great facility.
Why the wife should be disturbed if she is living not in the association of her husband. When Caitanya Mahaprabhu went to East Bengal for preaching, his first wife was alone. Wife's duty is not to disturb the husband. That is Vedic principle. The marriage relationship is not for sex. Of course, that is the way in this age. So, such wife may marry for the second time, what can be done? Vedic marriage is not for sex.
1977 Correspondence
Our service to Krsna is voluntary and we are interested only that He shall be pleased, not myself. Therefore the advanced devotee is ready to serve Krsna under all conditions of difficulty or scarcity, never mind other things, because he knows in his mind that by giving his full attention and energy to Krsna, that the Supreme Personality of Godhead will not disregard this and make him to suffer. No, Krsna is not like that. If He sees His devotee sincerely and seriously trying to serve Him, He is prepared to give His devotee anything and everything to mitigate any suffering conditions. That is mature understanding and realization of Krsna Consciousness. Of course, I can understand that you are a married man, with wife and children, but so are many of my students, and what will they think if I give you money for your devotional service? But I do not give them any money? They will think something discrimination. "Oh, he is Indian boy, therefore Prabhupada is giving him some special favor," like that. I do not want to set such example.
| Page Title: | Marriage (Letters 1972 - 1977) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, Mayapur |
| Created: | 30 of Mar, 2012 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=0, Let=99 |
| No. of Quotes: | 99 |