Husband and wife (Books)

Expressions researched:
"husband and wife" |"husband and wife's" |"wife and husband"

SB Canto 1

SB 1.11.32, Purport:

Although due to feminine shyness there were many hindrances to embracing the dear husband, Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa, the queens performed that act by seeing Him, by putting Him in the cores of their hearts, and by sending their sons to embrace Him. Still, the act remained unfinished, and tears rolled down their cheeks despite all endeavors to check them. One indirectly embraces the husband by sending the son to embrace him because the son is developed as part of the mother's body. The embrace of the son is not exactly the embrace of husband and wife from the sexual point of view, but the embrace is satisfaction from the affectionate point of view. The embrace of the eyes is more effective in the conjugal relation, and thus according to Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī there is nothing wrong in such an exchange of feeling between husband and wife.

SB 1.14.4, Translation:

All ordinary transactions and dealings became polluted with cheating, even between friends. And in familial affairs, there was always misunderstanding between fathers, mothers and sons, between well-wishers, and between brothers. Even between husband and wife there was always strain and quarrel.

SB 1.14.4, Purport:

And this cheating practice is there in the conditioned souls because the conditioned souls are primarily in the material world imbued with an unnatural desire to lord it over the material world. A living being in his pure state is not conditioned by the laws because in his pure state he is conscious that a living being is eternally subservient to the Supreme Being, and thus it is always good for him to remain subservient, instead of falsely trying to lord it over the property of the Supreme Lord. In the conditioned state the living being is not satisfied even if he actually becomes the lord of all that he surveys, which he never becomes, and therefore he becomes the victim of all kinds of cheating, even with his nearest and most intimate relations. In such an unsatisfactory state of affairs, there is no harmony, even between father and sons or between husband and wife. But all these contending difficulties can be mitigated by one process, and that is the devotional service of the Lord. The world of hypocrisy can be checked only by counteraction through devotional service to the Lord and nothing else. Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, having observed the disparities, conjectured the disappearance of the Lord from the earth.

SB Canto 3

SB 3.14.19, Purport:

When a man becomes qualitatively like the cats and dogs, he forgets his duties in cultivating spiritual values, and thus he accepts his wife as a sense gratificatory agency. When the wife is accepted as a sense gratificatory agency, personal beauty is the main consideration, and as soon as there is a break in personal sense gratification, there is disruption or divorce. But when husband and wife aim at spiritual advancement by mutual cooperation, there is no consideration of personal beauty or the disruption of so-called love. In the material world there is no question of love. Marriage is actually a duty performed in mutual cooperation as directed in the authoritative scriptures for spiritual advancement. Therefore marriage is essential in order to avoid the life of cats and dogs, who are not meant for spiritual enlightenment.

SB 3.21.4, Purport:

Here Vidura inquired about Kardama Muni and his wife, Devahūti, and about their children. It is described here that Devahūti was very much advanced in the performance of eightfold yoga. The eight divisions of yoga performance are described as (1) control of the senses, (2) strict following of the rules and regulations, (3) practice of the different sitting postures, (4) control of the breath, (5) withdrawing the senses from sense objects, (6) concentration of the mind, (7) meditation and (8) self-realization. After self-realization there are eight further perfectional stages, which are called yoga-siddhis. The husband and wife, Kardama and Devahūti, were advanced in yoga practice; the husband was a mahā-yogī, great mystic, and the wife was a yoga-lakṣaṇa, or one advanced in yoga. They united and produced children. Formerly, after making their lives perfect, great sages and saintly persons used to beget children, otherwise they strictly observed the rules and regulations of celibacy.

SB 3.21.15, Purport:

Nowadays marriage takes place without such consultation, and therefore, soon after the marriage, there is divorce and separation. Formerly husband and wife used to live together peacefully throughout their whole lives, but nowadays it is a very difficult task.

Kardama Muni wanted to have a wife of like disposition because a wife is necessary to assist in spiritual and material advancement. It is said that a wife yields the fulfillment of all desires in religion, economic development and sense gratification. If one has a nice wife, he is to be considered a most fortunate man. In astrology, a man is considered fortunate who has great wealth, very good sons or a very good wife. Of these three, one who has a very good wife is considered the most fortunate.

SB 3.23.1, Purport:

Vaiṣṇavānāṁ yathā śambhuḥ: Śambhu, or Lord Śiva, is the ideal Vaiṣṇava. He constantly meditates upon Lord Rāma and chants Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare. Lord Śiva has a Vaiṣṇava sampradāya, which is called the Viṣṇu Svāmī-sampradāya. Unmarried girls worship Lord Śiva so that they can expect a husband who is as good a Vaiṣṇava as he. The girls are not taught to select a husband who is very rich or very opulent for material sense gratification; rather, if a girl is fortunate enough to get a husband as good as Lord Śiva in devotional service, then her life becomes perfect. The wife is dependent on the husband, and if the husband is a Vaiṣṇava, then naturally she shares the devotional service of the husband because she renders him service. This reciprocation of service and love between husband and wife is the ideal of a householder's life.

SB 3.23.2, Purport:

Thus the natural instinct is that the husband wants to post himself as superior to the wife, and this must be observed. Even if there is some wrong on the part of the husband, the wife must tolerate it, and thus there will be no misunderstanding between husband and wife. Viśrambheṇa means "with intimacy," but it must not be familiarity that breeds contempt. According to the Vedic civilization, a wife cannot call her husband by name. In the present civilization the wife calls her husband by name, but in Hindu civilization she does not. Thus the inferiority and superiority complexes are recognized. Damena ca: a wife has to learn to control herself even if there is a misunderstanding. Sauhṛdena vācā madhurayā means always desiring good for the husband and speaking to him with sweet words.

SB 3.23.3, Purport:

She could have been very proud of her parentage, but that is forbidden. The wife should not be proud of her parental position. She must always be submissive to the husband and must give up all vanity. As soon as the wife becomes proud of her parentage, her pride creates great misunderstanding between the husband and wife, and their nuptial life is ruined. Devahūti was very careful about that, and therefore it is said here that she gave up pride completely. Devahūti was not unfaithful. The most sinful activity for a wife is to accept another husband or another lover. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has described four kinds of enemies at home. If the father is in debt he is considered to be an enemy; if the mother has selected another husband in the presence of her grown-up children, she is considered to be an enemy; if a wife does not live well with her husband but deals very roughly, then she is an enemy; and if a son is a fool, he is also an enemy.

SB 3.23.10, Purport:

This was known to Devahūti, yet she was anxious to have a son by bodily union with the sage. She reminded her husband of his promise to her parents: "I will remain only until the time of Devahūti's pregnancy." She reminded him that for a chaste woman to have a child by a great personality is most glorious. She wanted to be pregnant, and she prayed for that. The word strī means "expansion." By bodily union of the husband and wife their qualities are expanded: children born of good parents are expansions of the parents' personal qualifications. Both Kardama Muni and Devahūti were spiritually enlightened; therefore she desired from the beginning that first she be pregnant and then she be empowered with the achievement of God's grace and love of God. For a woman it is a great ambition to have a son of the same quality as a highly qualified husband. Since she had the opportunity to have Kardama Muni as her husband, she also desired to have a child by bodily union.

SB 3.33.19, Purport:

The ideal husband-and-wife relationship is very nicely described in this statement. Kardama Muni gave Devahūti all sorts of comforts in his duty as a husband, but he was not at all attached to his wife. As soon as his son, Kapiladeva, was grown up, Kardama at once left all family connection. Similarly, Devahūti was the daughter of a great king, Svāyambhuva Manu, and was qualified and beautiful, but she was completely dependent on the protection of her husband. According to Manu, women, the fair sex, should not have independence at any stage of life. In childhood a woman must be under the protection of the parents, in youth she must be under the protection of the husband, and in old age she must be under the protection of the grown children. Devahūti demonstrated all these statements of the Manu-saṁhitā in her life: as a child she was dependent on her father, later she was dependent on her husband, in spite of her opulence, and she was later on dependent on her son, Kapiladeva.

SB Canto 4

SB 4.1.6, Purport:

An ideal husband and wife are generally called Lakṣmī-Nārāyaṇa to compare them to the Lord and the goddess of fortune, for it is significant that Lakṣmī-Nārāyaṇa are forever happy as husband and wife. A wife should always remain satisfied with her husband, and a husband should always remain satisfied with his wife. In the Cāṇakya-śloka, the moral instructions of Cāṇakya Paṇḍita, it is said that if a husband and wife are always satisfied with one another, then the goddess of fortune automatically comes. In other words, where there is no disagreement between husband and wife, all material opulence is present, and good children are born. Generally, according to Vedic civilization, the wife is trained to be satisfied in all conditions, and the husband, according to Vedic instruction, is required to please the wife with sufficient food, ornaments and clothing. Then, if they are satisfied with their mutual dealings, good children are born. In this way the entire world can become peaceful, but unfortunately in this age of Kali there are no ideal husbands and wives; therefore unwanted children are produced, and there is no peace and prosperity in the present-day world.

SB 4.1.18, Translation:

In that mountain valley flows a river named Nirvindhyā. On the bank of the river are many aśoka trees and other plants full of palāśa flowers, and there is always the sweet sound of water flowing from a waterfall. The husband and wife reached that beautiful place.

SB 4.4.3, Purport:

According to the Vedic conception of family life, the husband gives half his body to his wife, and the wife gives half of her body to her husband. In other words, a husband without a wife or a wife without a husband is incomplete. Vedic marital relationship existed between Lord Śiva and Satī, but sometimes, due to weakness, a woman becomes very much attracted by the members of her father's house, and this happened to Satī. In this verse it is specifically mentioned that she wanted to leave such a great husband as Śiva because of her womanly weakness. In other words, womanly weakness exists even in the relationship between husband and wife. Generally, separation between husband and wife is due to womanly behavior; divorce takes place due to womanly weakness. The best course for a woman is to abide by the orders of her husband. That makes family life very peaceful. Sometimes there may be misunderstandings between husband and wife, as found even in such an elevated family relationship as that of Satī and Lord Śiva, but a wife should not leave her husband's protection because of such a misunderstanding. If she does so, it is understood to be due to her womanly weakness.

SB 4.4.23, Purport:

The word dākṣāyaṇī means "the daughter of King Dakṣa." Sometimes, when there was relaxed conversation between husband and wife, Lord Śiva used to call Satī "the daughter of King Dakṣa," and because this very word reminded her about her family relationship with King Dakṣa, she at once became ashamed because Dakṣa was an incarnation of all offenses. Dakṣa was the embodiment of envy, for he unnecessarily blasphemed a great personality, Lord Śiva. Simply upon hearing the word dākṣāyaṇī, she felt afflicted because of reference to the context because her body was the symbol of all the offensiveness with which Dakṣa was endowed. Since her body was constantly a source of unhappiness, she decided to give it up.

SB 4.13.12, Purport:

Vatsara's wife is mentioned here as iṣṭā, which means "worshipable." In other words, it appears that Vatsara's wife had all good qualities; for example, she was always very faithful and obedient and affectionate to her husband. She had all good qualities for managing household affairs. If both the husband and wife are endowed with good qualities and live peacefully, then nice children take birth, and thus the whole family is happy and prosperous.

SB 4.23.1-3, Purport:

He divided all his property amongst his sons and appointed them to rule the world, and then he went to the forest with his wife. It is significant in this connection that it is said that Mahārāja Pṛthu retired alone and at the same time took his wife with him. According to Vedic principles, when retiring from family life, one can take his wife with him, for the husband and wife are considered to be one unit. Thus they can both combinedly perform austerities for liberation. This is the path that Mahārāja Pṛthu, who was an exemplary character, followed, and this is also the way of Vedic civilization. One should not simply remain at home until the time of death, but should separate from family life at a timely moment and prepare himself to go back to Godhead. As a śaktyāveśa incarnation of God who had actually come from Vaikuṇṭha as a representative of Kṛṣṇa, Mahārāja Pṛthu was certain to go back to Godhead. Nonetheless, in order to set the example in all ways, he also underwent severe austerities in the tapo-vana.

SB 4.23.25, Purport:

Similarly, the goddess of fortune in the Vaikuṇṭha planets also serves Nārāyaṇa personally, although there are many thousands of devotees prepared to serve the Lord. This practice is also followed by the wives of the demigods, and in days past the wives of men also followed this same principle. In Vedic civilization the husband and wife were not separated by such man-made laws as divorce. We should understand the necessity for maintaining family life in human society and should thus abolish this artificial law known as divorce. The husband and wife should live in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and follow in the footsteps of Lakṣmī-Nārāyaṇa or Kṛṣṇa-Rukmiṇī. In this way peace and harmony can be possible within this world.

SB 4.23.26, Purport:

All of this is possible simply by durvibhāvyena karmaṇā, inconceivable activity. Pṛthu Mahārāja was a pure devotee, and his wife, Queen Arci, simply followed her husband. Thus they can both be considered pure devotees, and thus they are capable of performing inconceivable activities. Such activities are not possible for ordinary men. Indeed, ordinary men cannot even take to the devotional service of the Lord, nor can ordinary women maintain such vows of chastity and follow their husbands in all respects. A woman does not need to attain high qualifications, but if she simply follows in the footsteps of her husband, who must be a devotee, then both husband and wife attain liberation and are promoted to the Vaikuṇṭhalokas. This is evinced by the inconceivable activities of Mahārāja Pṛthu and his wife.

SB 4.23.29, Purport:

In the Vaikuṇṭha planets there are husbands and wives, but there is no question of their giving birth to children or having sex life. In the Vaikuṇṭha planets both husbands and wives are extraordinarily beautiful, and they are attracted to one another, but they do not enjoy sex life. Indeed, they consider sex not to be very relishable because both husband and wife are always absorbed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and in glorifying and chanting the glories of the Lord.

According to Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura also, a husband and wife can turn the home into a place as good as Vaikuṇṭha, even while in this material world. Being absorbed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, even in this world husband and wife can live in Vaikuṇṭha simply by installing the Deity of the Lord within the home and serving the Deity according to the directions of the śāstras. In this way, they will never feel the sex urge. That is the test of advancement in devotional service.

SB 4.26.17, Purport:

Just as one saves his money and places it under his own personal protection, one should similarly protect his wife by his own personal supervision. Just as intelligence is always within the heart, so a beloved chaste wife should always have her place on the chest of a good husband. This is the proper relationship between husband and wife. A wife is therefore called ardhāṅganī, or half of the body. One cannot remain with only one leg, one hand or only one side of the body. He must have two sides. Similarly, according to nature's way, husband and wife should live together. In the lower species of life, among birds and animals, it is seen that by nature's arrangement the husband and wife live together. It is similarly ideal in human life for the husband and wife to live together. The home should be a place for devotional service, and the wife should be chaste and accepted by a ritualistic ceremony. In this way one can become happy at home.

SB 4.27.1, Purport:

By coming home, taking his bath, eating nice foodstuffs, getting refreshed and searching out his wife, King Purañjana came to his good consciousness in his family life. In other words, a systematic family life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than an irresponsible sinful life. If a husband and wife combine together in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and live together peacefully, that is very nice. However, if a husband becomes too much attracted by his wife and forgets his duty in life, the implications of materialistic life will again resume. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has therefore recommended, anāsaktasya viṣayān (Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.255). Without being attached by sex, the husband and wife may live together for the advancement of spiritual life. The husband should engage in devotional service, and the wife should be faithful and religious according to the Vedic injunctions. Such a combination is very good. However, if the husband becomes too much attracted to the wife due to sex, the position becomes very dangerous. Women in general are very much sexually inclined. Indeed, it is said that a woman's sex desire is nine times stronger than a man's.

SB 4.28.3, Purport:

Thus it is essential to practice the system of brahmacarya if one wishes to beget a male child when one is married. When one reaches the age of fifty, he should give up family life. At that time one's child should be grown up so that the father can leave the family responsibilities to him. The husband and wife may then go abroad to live a retired life and travel to different places of pilgrimage. When both the husband and wife lose their attachment for family and home, the wife returns home to live under the care of her grown-up children and to remain aloof from family affairs. The husband then takes sannyāsa to render some service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

This is the perfect system of civilization. The human form of life is especially meant for God realization. If one is unable to take to the process of Kṛṣṇa consciousness from the very beginning of life, he must be trained to accept these principles at the fag end of life.

SB 4.28.19, Purport:

A wife is always supposed to be submissive to her husband. Submission, mild behavior and subservience are qualities in a wife which make a husband very thoughtful of her. For family life it is very good for a husband to be attached to his wife, but it is not very good for spiritual advancement. Thus Kṛṣṇa consciousness must be established in every home. If a husband and wife are very much attached to one another in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they will both benefit because Kṛṣṇa is the center of their existence. Otherwise, if the husband is too much attached to his wife, he becomes a woman in his next life. The woman, being overly attached to her husband, becomes a man in her next life. Of course, it is an advantage for a woman to become a man, but it is not at all advantageous for the man to become a woman.

SB 4.28.44, Purport:

When one begins to burn firewood, there is smoke and agitation in the beginning. Although there are so many disturbances in the beginning, once the fire is completely set, the firewood burns steadily. Similarly, when both husband and wife follow the regulative principles of austerity, they remain silent and are not agitated by sex impulses. At such a time both husband and wife are benefited spiritually. One can attain this stage of life by completely giving up a luxurious mode of life.

In this verse the word cīra-vāsā refers to very old torn garments. The wife especially should remain austere, not desiring luxurious dresses and living standards. She should accept only the bare necessities of life and minimize her eating and sleeping. There should be no question of mating. Simply by engaging in the service of her exalted husband, who must be a pure devotee, the wife will never be agitated by sex impulses.

SB 4.28.44, Purport:

Simply by engaging in the service of her exalted husband, who must be a pure devotee, the wife will never be agitated by sex impulses. The vānaprastha stage is exactly like this. Although the wife remains with the husband, she undergoes severe austerities and penances so that although both husband and wife live together, there is no question of sex. In this way both husband and wife can live together perpetually. Since the wife is weaker than the husband, this weakness is expressed in this verse with the words upa patim. Upa means "near to," or "almost equal to." Being a man, the husband is generally more advanced than his wife. Nonetheless, the wife is expected to give up all luxurious habits. She should not even dress nicely or comb her hair. Hair combing is one of the main businesses of women. In the vānaprastha stage the wife should not take care of her hair. Thus her hair will become tangled in knots.

SB 4.28.44, Purport:

Hair combing is one of the main businesses of women. In the vānaprastha stage the wife should not take care of her hair. Thus her hair will become tangled in knots. Consequently the wife will no longer be attractive to the husband, and she herself will no longer be agitated by sex impulses. In this way both husband and wife can advance in spiritual consciousness. This advanced stage is called the paramahaṁsa stage, and once it is obtained, both husband and wife can be actually liberated from bodily consciousness. If the disciple remains steady in the service of the spiritual master, he need no longer fear falling down into the clutches of māyā.

SB Canto 5

SB 5.2.15, Purport:

He requested Pūrvacitti to become his wife so that together they could perform austerities and penances in family life. In other words, a suitable wife helps her husband perform penances and austerities in household life if both of them are on the same elevated platform of spiritual understanding. Without spiritual understanding, husband and wife cannot be equally situated. Lord Brahmā, the creator of the universe, is interested in good progeny. Therefore unless he is pleased, one cannot get a suitable wife. In fact, Lord Brahmā is worshiped in marriage ceremonies. In India even today, wedding invitations are still issued with a picture of Lord Brahmā on the face of the card.

SB 5.13.13, Translation:

Due to monetary transactions, relationships become very strained and end in enmity. Sometimes the husband and wife walk on the path of material progress, and to maintain their relationship they work very hard. Sometimes due to scarcity of money or due to diseased conditions, they are embarrassed and almost die.

SB 5.18.13, Purport:

When they are out of the water, they cannot exhibit their original power. Similarly, the all-pervading Supersoul, Paramātmā, is the source of all living entities, and all living entities are part and parcel of Him. When the living entity remains in contact with the all-pervading Vāsudeva, the Personality of Godhead, he manifests his spiritual power, exactly as the crocodile exhibits its strength in the water. In other words, the greatness of the living entity can be perceived when he is in the spiritual world, engaged in spiritual activities. Many householders, although well-educated in the knowledge of the Vedas, become attached to family life. They are compared herein to crocodiles out of water, for they are devoid of all spiritual strength. Their greatness is like that of a young husband and wife who, though uneducated, praise one another and become attracted to their own temporary beauty. This kind of greatness is appreciated only by low-class men with no qualifications.

SB 5.18.19, Purport:

However, a material husband cannot possibly do this, for he is dependent on his karma. Karmaṇā-daiva-netreṇa: (SB 3.31.1) his circumstances are determined by his past fruitive activities. Therefore if one proudly thinks he can protect his wife, he is under illusion. Kṛṣṇa is the only husband, and therefore the relationship between a husband and wife in this material world cannot be absolute. Because we have the desire to marry, Kṛṣṇa mercifully allows the so-called husband to possess a wife, and the wife to possess a so-called husband, for mutual satisfaction. In the Īśopaniṣad it is said, tena tyaktena bhuñjīthā: (ISO 1) the Lord provides everyone with his quota. Actually, however, every living entity is prakṛti, or female, and Kṛṣṇa is the only husband.

SB Canto 6

SB 6.2.26, Purport:

Vedic astrology reveals whether one has been born in the vipra-varṇa, kṣatriya-varṇa, vaiśya-varṇa or śūdra-varṇa, according to the three qualities of material nature. This must be examined because a marriage between a boy of the vipra-varṇa and a girl of the śūdra-varṇa is incompatible; married life would be miserable for both husband and wife. Consequently a boy should marry a girl of the same category. Of course, this is trai-guṇya, a material calculation according to the Vedas, but if the boy and girl are devotees there need be no such considerations. A devotee is transcendental, and therefore in a marriage between devotees, the boy and girl form a very happy combination.

SB 6.16.60, Translation:

As husband and wife, a man and woman plan together to attain happiness and decrease unhappiness, working jointly in many ways, but because their activities are full of desires, these activities are never a source of happiness, and they never diminish distress. On the contrary, they are a cause of great unhappiness.

SB 6.17.4-5, Purport:

The Lord's plan was that Citraketu be cursed by Pārvatī to become Vṛtrāsura so that in his next life he could quickly return home, back to Godhead. There have been many instances in which a devotee acting as a demon has been brought to the kingdom of God by the mercy of the Lord. For Pārvatī to be embraced by Lord Śiva was natural in a relationship between husband and wife; this was nothing extraordinary for Citraketu to see. Nonetheless, Citraketu laughed loudly to see Lord Śiva in that situation, even though he should not have done so. Thus he was eventually cursed, and this curse was the cause of his returning home, back to Godhead.

SB 6.18.33-34, Purport:

Ajāmila was concerned with his son, but because of his attachment to the name of Nārāyaṇa, he attained salvation simply by chanting that name. In India a husband is still called pati-guru, the husband spiritual master. If husband and wife are attached to one another for advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, their relationship of cooperation is very effective for such advancement. Although the names of Indra and Agni are sometimes uttered in the Vedic mantras (indrāya svāhā, agnaye svāhā), the Vedic sacrifices are actually performed for the satisfaction of Lord Viṣṇu. As long as one is very much attached to material sense gratification, the worship of the demigods or the worship of one's husband is recommended.

SB 6.18.40, Purport:

Kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). During the time of brahmacarya, or student life, a brahmacārī should be taught to be expert in bhāgavata-dharma, devotional service. Then when he marries, if his wife is faithful to her husband and follows him in such life, the relationship between husband and wife is very desirable. However, a relationship between husband and wife without spiritual consciousness but strictly for sense gratification is not at all good. It is said in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (12.2.3) that especially in this age, Kali-yuga, dām-patye 'bhirucir hetuḥ: the relationship between husband and wife will be based on sexual power. Therefore householder life in this Kali-yuga is extremely dangerous unless both the wife and husband take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

SB 6.19.1, Purport:

After continuing this process for one full year, the chaste wife should fast on the pūrṇimā, the full-moon day, of Kārttika. On the following day, the husband should worship the Lord as before and then observe a festival by cooking nice food and distributing prasāda to the brāhmaṇas. Then, with the permission of the brāhmaṇas, the husband and wife should take prasāda. This chapter ends by glorifying the results of the puṁsavana function.

SB 6.19.17, Purport:

The family relationship of husband and wife should be established spiritually according to the process mentioned above.

SB 6.19.18, Translation and Purport:

Between the husband and wife, one person is sufficient to execute this devotional service. Because of their good relationship, both of them will enjoy the result. Therefore if the wife is unable to execute this process, the husband should carefully do so, and the faithful wife will share the result.

The relationship between husband and wife is firmly established when the wife is faithful and the husband sincere. Then even if the wife, being weaker, is unable to execute devotional service with her husband, if she is chaste and sincere she shares half of her husband's activities.

SB 6.19.19-20, Translation:

One should accept this viṣṇu-vrata, which is a vow in devotional service, and should not deviate from its execution to engage in anything else. By offering the remnants of prasāda, flower garlands, sandalwood pulp and ornaments, one should daily worship the brāhmaṇas and worship women who peacefully live with their husbands and children. Every day the wife must continue following the regulative principles to worship Lord Viṣṇu with great devotion. Thereafter, Lord Viṣṇu should be laid in His bed, and then one should take prasāda. In this way, husband and wife will be purified and will have all their desires fulfilled.

SB Canto 7

SB 7.2.34, Purport:

Later, after a compromise was arranged, Kuntī stayed alive to care for the little children, and the other wife, Mādrī, was allowed to die with her husband. This system of saha-māraṇa continued in India even until the time of British rule, but later it was discouraged, since the attitude of wives gradually changed with the advancement of Kali-yuga. Thus the system of saha-māraṇa has practically been abolished. Nevertheless, within the past fifty years I have seen the wife of a medical practitioner voluntarily accept death immediately when her husband died. Both the husband and wife were taken in procession in the mourning cart. Such intense love of a chaste wife for her husband is a special case.

SB 7.11.25, Purport:

It is very important for peaceful householder life that a woman follow the vow of her husband. Any disagreement with the husband's vow will disrupt family life. In this regard, Cāṇakya Paṇḍita gives a very valuable instruction: dampatyoḥ kalaho nāsti tatra śrīḥ svayam āgatāḥ. When there are no fights between husband and wife, the goddess of fortune automatically comes to the home. A woman's education should be conducted along the lines indicated in this verse. The basic principle for a chaste woman is to be always favorably disposed toward her husband. In Bhagavad-gītā (1.40) it is said, strīṣu duṣṭāsu vārṣṇeya jāyate varṇa-saṅkaraḥ: if the women are polluted, there will be varṇa-saṅkara population. In modern terms, the varṇa-saṅkara are the hippies, who do not follow any regulative injunctions. Another explanation is that when the population is varṇa-saṅkara, no one can know who is on what platform.

SB 7.11.29, Purport:

The faithfulness of the goddess of fortune is the ideal for a chaste woman. The Brahma-saṁhitā (5.29) says, lakṣmī-sahasra-śata-sambhrama-sevyamānam. In the Vaikuṇṭha planets, Lord Viṣṇu is worshiped by many, many thousands of goddesses of fortune, and in Goloka Vṛndāvana, Lord Kṛṣṇa is worshiped by many, many thousands of gopīs, all of whom are goddesses of fortune. A woman should serve her husband as faithfully as the goddess of fortune. A man should be an ideal servant of the Lord, and a woman should be an ideal wife like the goddess of fortune. Then both husband and wife will be so faithful and strong that by acting together they will return home, back to Godhead, without a doubt. In this regard, Śrīla Madhvācārya gives this opinion:

SB Canto 9

SB 9.3.10, Purport:

This is an indication of the relationship between husband and wife. A great personality like Cyavana Muni has the temperament of always wanting to be in a superior position. Such a person cannot submit to anyone. Therefore, Cyavana Muni had an irritable temperament. His wife, Sukanyā, could understand his attitude, and under the circumstances she treated him accordingly. If any wife wants to be happy with her husband, she must try to understand her husband's temperament and please him. This is victory for a woman. Even in the dealings of Lord Kṛṣṇa with His different queens, it has been seen that although the queens were the daughters of great kings, they placed themselves before Lord Kṛṣṇa as His maidservants. However great a woman may be, she must place herself before her husband in this way; that is to say, she must be ready to carry out her husband's orders and please him in all circumstances. Then her life will be successful.

SB 9.18.20-21, Translation:

With words saturated with love and affection, Devayānī said to King Yayāti: O great hero, O King, conqueror of the cities of your enemies, by accepting my hand you have accepted me as your married wife. Let me not be touched by others, for our relationship as husband and wife has been made possible by providence, not by any human being.

SB 9.18.23, Purport:

The central idea is that if the boy and girl were on an equal level the marriage would be happy, whereas inequality would lead to unhappiness. Because care is no longer taken in marriage, we now find many divorces. Indeed, divorce has now become a common affair, although formerly one's marriage would continue lifelong, and the affection between husband and wife was so great that the wife would voluntarily die when her husband died or would remain a faithful widow throughout her entire life. Now, of course, this is no longer possible, for human society has fallen to the level of animal society. Marriage now takes place simply by agreement. Dāmpatye 'bhirucir hetuḥ (SB 12.2.3). The word abhiruci means "agreement." If the boy and girl simply agree to marry, the marriage takes place. But when the Vedic system is not rigidly observed, marriage frequently ends in divorce.

SB 9.19.10, Purport:

Here Śukrācārya is figuratively described as the husband of another she-goat. This indicates that the relationship between husband and wife in any society, whether higher or lower than human society, is nothing but the same relationship between he-goat and she-goat, for the material relationship between man and woman is one of sex. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). Śukrācārya was an ācārya, or expert, in family affairs, which involve the transfer of semen from he-goat to she-goat. The words kaścid ajā-svāmī expressly indicate herein that Śukrācārya was no better than Yayāti, for both of them were interested in family affairs generated by śukra, or semen. Śukrācārya first cursed Yayāti to become old so that he could no longer indulge in sex, but when Śukrācārya saw that Yayāti's emasculation would make his own daughter a victim of punishment, he used his mystic power to restore Yayāti's masculinity.

SB 9.19.26, Translation:

When Devayānī heard Mahārāja Yayāti's story of the he-goat and she-goat, she understood that this story, which was presented as if a funny joke for entertainment between husband and wife, was intended to awaken her to her constitutional position.

SB 9.20.15, Purport:

In her reception of Mahārāja Duṣmanta, Śakuntalā clearly said, "Your Majesty may stay here, and you may accept whatever reception I can offer." Thus she indicated that she wanted Mahārāja Duṣmanta as her husband. As far as Mahārāja Duṣmanta was concerned, he desired Śakuntalā as his wife from the very beginning, as soon as he saw her, so the agreement to unite as husband and wife was natural. To induce Śakuntalā to accept the marriage, Mahārāja Duṣmanta reminded her that as the daughter of a king she could select her husband in an open assembly. In the history of Āryan civilization there have been many instances in which famous princesses have selected their husbands in open competitions. For example, it was in such a competition that Sītādevī accepted Lord Rāmacandra as her husband and that Draupadī accepted Arjuna, and there are many other instances. So marriage by agreement or by selecting one's own husband in an open competition is allowed.

SB 9.20.22, Purport:

This verse clearly says, putro nayati naradeva yama-kṣayāt: "The son saves his father from the custody of Yamarāja." It never says, putro nayati mātaram: "The son saves his mother." The seed-giving father is delivered, not the storekeeper mother. Consequently, husband and wife should not separate under any condition, for if they have a child whom they raise to be a Vaiṣṇava, he can save both the father and mother from the custody of Yamarāja and punishment in hellish life.

SB Canto 10.1 to 10.13

SB 10.3.39, Translation:

Being husband and wife but always sonless, you were attracted by sexual desires, for by the influence of devamāyā, transcendental love, you wanted to have Me as your son. Therefore you never desired to be liberated from this material world.

SB 10.3.39, Purport:

Vasudeva and Devakī had been dam-patī, husband and wife, since the time of Sutapā and Pṛśni, and they wanted to remain husband and wife in order to have the Supreme Personality of Godhead as their son. This attachment came about by the influence of devamāyā. Loving Kṛṣṇa as one's son is a Vedic principle. Vasudeva and Devakī never desired anything but to have the Lord as their son, yet for this purpose they apparently wanted to live like ordinary gṛhasthas for sexual indulgence. Although this was a transaction of spiritual potency, their desire appears like attachment for sex in conjugal life. If one wants to return home, back to Godhead, one must give up such desires.

SB 10.3.45, Translation:

Both of you, husband and wife, constantly think of Me as your son, but always know that I am the Supreme Personality of Godhead. By thus thinking of Me constantly with love and affection, you will achieve the highest perfection: returning home, back to Godhead.

CC Preface and Introduction

CC Introduction:

The remaining three fourths is situated in the spiritual sky. In that sky innumerable planets float, and these are called Vaikuṇṭhalokas. In every Vaikuṇṭhaloka, Nārāyaṇa presides with His four expansions: Saṅkarṣaṇa, Pradyumna, Aniruddha and Vāsudeva. This Saṅkarṣaṇa, states Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja in the eighth verse of the Caitanya-caritāmṛta, is Lord Nityānanda.

As stated before, it is in the form of Mahā-Viṣṇu that the Lord manifests the material universes. Just as a husband and wife combine to beget offspring, Mahā-Viṣṇu combines with His wife māyā, or material nature. This is confirmed in the Bhagavad-gītā (14.4), where Kṛṣṇa states:

CC Adi-lila

CC Adi 3.12, Purport:

In other words, one who factually understands Kṛṣṇa makes his life perfect. Imperfect life is realized in material existence, in five different relationships we share with everyone within the material world: neutrality, servitorship, friendship, parental love and amorous love between husband and wife or lover and beloved. These five enjoyable relationships within the material world are perverted reflections of relationships with the Absolute Personality of Godhead in the transcendental nature. That Absolute Personality, Śrī Kṛṣṇa, descends to revive the five eternally existing relationships. Thus He manifests His transcendental pastimes in Vraja so that people may be attracted into that sphere of activities and leave aside their imitation relationships with the mundane. Then, after fully exhibiting all such activities, the Lord disappears.

CC Adi 7.38, Purport:

Of course, we very strictly prohibit illicit sex. Boys and girls who are not married are not allowed to sleep together or live together, and there are separate arrangements for boys and girls in every temple. Gṛhasthas live outside the temple, for in the temple we do not allow even husband and wife to live together. The results of this are wonderful. Both men and women are preaching the gospel of Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu and Lord Kṛṣṇa with redoubled strength. In this verse the words sabā nistārite kare cāturī apāra indicate that Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu wanted to deliver one and all. Therefore it is a principle that a preacher must strictly follow the rules and regulations laid down in the śāstras yet at the same time devise a means by which the preaching work to reclaim the fallen may go on with full force.

CC Adi 13.79, Translation:

The husband and wife (Jagannātha Miśra and Śacīmātā), having gotten Viśvarūpa as their son, were very pleased within their minds. Because of their pleasure, they specifically began to serve the lotus feet of Govinda.

CC Adi 13.79, Purport:

"If backed by pious activities in the past, four kinds of men—namely those who are distressed, those in need of money, those searching after knowledge and those who are inquisitive—become interested in devotional service." The husband and wife, Jagannātha Miśra and Śacīmātā, were very unhappy because their eight daughters had passed away. Now, when they got Viśvarūpa as their son, certainly they became extremely happy. They knew that it was by the grace of the Lord that they were endowed with such happiness and opulence. Therefore instead of forgetting the Lord, they became more and more adherent in rendering service to the lotus feet of Govinda. When a common man becomes opulent, he forgets God; but the more opulent a devotee becomes by the grace of the Lord, the more he becomes attached to the service of the Lord.

CC Adi 13.86, Translation:

After this conversation, both husband and wife were very jubilant, and together they rendered service to the household śālagrāma-śilā.

CC Adi 14.64, Purport:

Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu and Lakṣmīdevī are eternal husband and wife. Therefore it was quite natural for their dormant love to awaken when they saw each other. Their natural feelings were immediately awakened by their meeting.

CC Madhya-lila

CC Madhya 3.41, Purport:

This is the ideal householder's life. The husband and wife live together, and the husband works very hard to secure paraphernalia for worshiping Lord Viṣṇu. The wife at home cooks a variety of foods for Lord Viṣṇu, and the husband offers it to the Deity. After that, ārati is performed, and the prasādam is distributed amongst family members and guests. According to the Vedic principles, there must always be a guest in a householder's house. In my childhood I have actually seen my father receive not less than four guests every day, and in those days my father's income was not very great. Nonetheless, there was no difficulty in offering prasādam to at least four guests every day. According to Vedic principles, a householder, before taking lunch, should go outside and shout very loudly to see if there is anyone without food. In this way he invites people to take prasādam.

CC Madhya 15.253, Translation:

Seeing the lamentation of both husband and wife, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu tried to pacify them. According to their desire, He ate the prasādam and was very satisfied.

CC Madhya 23 Summary:

He then describes the gradual increase of love of God up to the point of mahābhāva. He then describes the five divisions of attraction and how they continue. He also describes the mellow derived from conjugal love, which is the supreme emotion. Conjugal love is divided into two categories-svakīya and parakīya. Svakīya refers to loving affairs between husband and wife, and parakīya refers to loving affairs between two lovers. There are a number of descriptions in this connection. There is also a description of the sixty-four transcendental qualities of Kṛṣṇa and the twenty-five transcendental qualities of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī.

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu then describes those candidates who are eligible to taste the mellows of devotional service. Their fundamental natures and their varieties are also described. The Lord also informs Sanātana Gosvāmī about all the confidential paraphernalia of devotional service. He gives a description of Goloka Vṛndāvana, where the Lord is engaged in His eternal pastimes described in the Hari-vaṁśa.

CC Madhya 24.259, Purport:

This is the process of renunciation at the stage of vānaprastha. After enjoying householder life for some time, the husband and wife must leave home and distribute their riches to brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas. One can keep his wife as an assistant in the vānaprastha stage. The idea is that the wife will assist the husband in spiritual advancement. Therefore Nārada Muni advised the hunter to adopt the vānaprastha stage and leave home. It is not that a gṛhastha should live at home until he dies. Vānaprastha is preliminary to sannyāsa. In the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement there are many young couples engaged in the Lord's service. Eventually they are supposed to take vānaprastha, and after the vānaprastha stage the husband may take sannyāsa in order to preach. The wife may then remain alone and serve the Deity or engage in other activities within the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.

CC Madhya 24.275, Translation:

“He then fetched water and washed the sages' feet with great devotion. Then both husband and wife drank that water and sprinkled it on their heads.

Teachings of Lord Caitanya

Teachings of Lord Caitanya, Chapter Intoduction:

The remaining three fourths is situated in the spiritual sky. In that sky innumerable planets float, and these are called Vaikuṇṭhalokas. In every Vaikuṇṭhaloka, Nārāyaṇa presides with His four expansions: Saṅkarṣaṇa, Pradyumna, Aniruddha and Vāsudeva. This Saṅkarṣaṇa, states Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja in the eighth verse of the Caitanya-caritāmṛta, is Lord Nityānanda.

As stated before, it is in His form as Mahā-viṣṇu that the Lord manifests the material universes. Just as a husband and wife combine to beget offspring, Mahā-viṣṇu combines with His wife māyā, or material nature. This is confirmed in the Bhagavad-gītā (14.4), where Kṛṣṇa states:

Nectar of Devotion

Nectar of Devotion 16:

The perfection of their human form of life was thus achieved by their generating a transcendental sentiment to share conjugal love with Lord Kṛṣṇa.

Conjugal love is divided into two classifications—namely, conjugal love as husband and wife and conjugal love as lover and beloved. One who develops conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa as a wife is promoted to Dvārakā, where the devotee becomes the queen of the Lord. One who develops conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa as a lover is promoted to Goloka Vṛndāvana, to associate with the gopīs and enjoy loving affairs with Kṛṣṇa there. We should note carefully, however, that this conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa, either as gopī or as queen, is not limited only to women. Even men can develop such sentiments, as was evidenced by the sages of Daṇḍakāraṇya.

Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead

Krsna Book 3:

The Lord could have awarded Pṛśni and Sutapā immediate liberation, but He preferred to keep them within this material world for His different appearances, as will be explained in the following verses. On receiving the benediction from the Lord to become His father and mother, Pṛśni and Sutapā retired from the activities of austerity and lived as husband and wife in order to beget a child who was the Supreme Lord Himself.

In due course of time Pṛśni became pregnant and gave birth to the child. The Lord spoke to Devakī and Vasudeva: “At that time My name was Pṛśnigarbha. In the next millennium you took birth as Aditi and Kaśyapa, and I became your child of the name Upendra. At that time My form was just like a dwarf, and for this reason I was known as Vāmanadeva. I gave you the benediction that I would take birth as your son three times.

Krsna Book 20:

It is therefore recommended that a woman desiring to advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness live peacefully with a husband and that the couple not separate under any condition. The husband and wife should control sex indulgence and concentrate their minds on Kṛṣṇa consciousness so their life may be successful. After all, in the material world a man requires a woman and a woman requires a man. When they are combined, they should live peacefully in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and should not be restless like the lightning, flashing from one group of clouds to another.

Sometimes, in addition to the roaring thunder of the clouds, there is an appearance of a rainbow, which stands as a bow without a string. Actually, a bow is in the curved position because it is tied at its two ends by the bowstring; but in the rainbow there is no such string, and yet it rests in the sky so beautifully.

Krsna Book 23:

After being instructed by the Supreme Personality of Godhead, all the wives returned home to their respective husbands. Pleased to see their wives back home, the brāhmaṇas sat together with them and executed the performances of sacrifices, as enjoined in the śāstras. According to Vedic principle, religious rituals must be executed by the husband and wife together. When the brāhmaṇas' wives returned, the sacrifice was duly and nicely executed. One of the brāhmaṇas' wives, however, who had been forcibly checked from going to see Kṛṣṇa, began to remember Him as she heard of His bodily features. Being completely absorbed in His thought, she gave up her material body conditioned by the laws of nature.

Krsna Book 59:

We should always remember that the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa, was playing exactly like a human being; although He showed His extraordinary opulences by simultaneously marrying more than sixteen thousand wives in more than sixteen thousand palaces, He behaved with them just like an ordinary man, and He strictly followed the relationship between husband and wife required in ordinary homes. Therefore, it is very difficult to understand the characteristics of the Supreme Brahman, the Personality of Godhead. Even demigods like Brahmā are unable to probe into the transcendental pastimes of the Lord. The wives of Kṛṣṇa were so fortunate that they got the Supreme Personality of Godhead as their husband, although their husband's personality was unknown even to Brahmā and the other demigods.

Krsna Book 59:

In their dealings as husband and wife, Kṛṣṇa and His queens would smile, talk, joke, embrace and so on, and their conjugal relationship ever-increasingly developed. In this way, Kṛṣṇa and the queens enjoyed transcendental happiness in their household life. Although each and every queen had thousands of maidservants engaged for her service, the queens were all personally attentive to serving Kṛṣṇa. Each one of them used to receive Kṛṣṇa personally when He entered the palace. They engaged in seating Him on a nice couch, worshiping Him with all kinds of paraphernalia, washing His lotus feet with Ganges water, offering Him betel nuts and massaging His legs. In this way, they gave Him relief from the fatigue He felt after being away from home. They fanned Him nicely, offered Him fragrant essential floral oil, decorated Him with flower garlands, dressed His hair, asked Him to lie down to take rest, bathed Him personally and fed Him palatable dishes.

Krsna Book 60:

Kṛṣṇa was proposing that Rukmiṇī divorce Him at a time when Rukmiṇī already had many grown-up children. Therefore Kṛṣṇa's whole proposition appeared to be something unexpected because according to the Vedic culture there was no such thing as separation of husband and wife by divorce. Nor was it possible for Rukmiṇī to choose a new husband at her advanced age, when she had many married sons. To Rukmiṇī every one of Kṛṣṇa's proposals appeared crazy, and she was surprised that Kṛṣṇa could say such things. Simple as she was, her anxiety was increasing more and more at the thought of separation from Kṛṣṇa.

Krsna Book 60:

"As I have already explained, I am not very much interested in family life or love between husband and wife. By nature, I am not very fond of family life, wife, children, home and opulences. As My devotees are always neglectful of all these worldly possessions, I am also like that. Actually, I am interested in self-realization; that gives Me pleasure, and not this family life." After submitting His statement, Lord Kṛṣṇa suddenly stopped.

The great authority Śukadeva Gosvāmī remarks that Kṛṣṇa almost always passed His time with Rukmiṇī, and Rukmiṇī was a bit proud to be so fortunate that Kṛṣṇa never left her even for a moment. Kṛṣṇa, however, does not like any of His devotees to be proud. As soon as a devotee becomes so, by some tactic He cuts down that pride. In this case also, Kṛṣṇa said many things which were hard for Rukmiṇī to hear. She could only conclude that although she was proud of her position, Kṛṣṇa could be separated from her at any moment.

Krsna Book 60:

"My dear beautiful wife, you know that because we are householders we are always busy in many household affairs and long for a time when we can enjoy some joking words between us. That is our ultimate gain in household life." Actually, householders work very hard day and night, but all fatigue of the day's labor is minimized as soon as they meet, husband and wife together, and enjoy life in many ways. Lord Kṛṣṇa wanted to exhibit Himself as being like an ordinary householder who delights himself by exchanging joking words with his wife. He therefore repeatedly requested Rukmiṇī not to take those words very seriously.

Krsna Book 61:

The queens of Dvārakā were so fortunate that they got Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa as their husband and personal companion, although He is not approachable by exalted demigods like Brahmā. Lord Kṛṣṇa and His queens remained together as husband and wife, and Kṛṣṇa, as an ideal husband, treated them in such a way that at every moment there was an increase of transcendental bliss in their smiling exchanges, talking and mixing together. Each and every wife had hundreds and thousands of maidservants, yet when Kṛṣṇa entered the palaces of His thousands of wives, each one of them used to receive Kṛṣṇa personally by seating Him in a nice chair, worshiping Him with all requisite paraphernalia, personally washing His lotus feet, offering Him betel nuts, massaging His legs to relieve them of fatigue, fanning Him to make Him comfortable, offering all kinds of scented sandalwood pulp, oils and aromatics, putting flower garlands on His neck, dressing His hair, getting Him to lie down on the bed and assisting Him in taking His bath.

Krsna Book 90:

Śukadeva Gosvāmī informed Mahārāja Parīkṣit that for self-realization the austerities and penances performed by the queens at Dvārakā have no comparison. The objective of self-realization is one: Kṛṣṇa. Therefore, although the dealings of the queens with Kṛṣṇa appear just like ordinary dealings between husband and wife, the principal point to be observed is the queens' attachment for Kṛṣṇa. The entire process of austerity and penance is meant to detach one from the material world and enhance one's attachment to Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Kṛṣṇa is the shelter of all persons advancing in self-realization. As an ideal householder, He lived with His wives and performed the Vedic rituals just to show less intelligent persons that the Supreme Lord is never impersonal. Kṛṣṇa lived with wives and children in all opulence, exactly like an ordinary conditioned soul, just to teach those souls who are actually conditioned that they must enter into the family circle of Kṛṣṇa, where He is the center. For example, the members of the Yadu dynasty lived in the family of Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa was the center of all their activities.

Light of the Bhagavata

Light of the Bhagavata 14, Purport:

When the husband is disturbed, the whole family is ruined, the children are dispersed, or the business is closed, and everything is affected. It is therefore recommended that a woman desiring to advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness peacefully live with a husband and that the couple should not separate under any condition. The husband and wife should control sex indulgence and concentrate their minds on Kṛṣṇa consciousness so their life may be successful. After all, in the material world a man requires a woman, and a woman requires a man. When they are combined, they should live peacefully in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and should not be restless, like the lightning, flashing from one group of clouds to another.