Householder (SB cantos 4 - 6)
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Srimad-Bhagavatam
SB Canto 4
Pretentiously religious householder life, in which one is attracted to material happiness and thus also attracted to the superficial explanation of the Vedas, robs one of all intelligence and attaches one to fruitive activities as all in all.
To them such happiness as that of the heavenly kingdom is everything; they do not know that beyond that is the spiritual kingdom, or kingdom of God, and they have no knowledge that one can go there. Thus they are bereft of transcendental knowledge. Such persons are very careful in observing the rules and regulations of household life in order to be promoted in the next life to the moon or other heavenly planets. It is stated here that such persons are attached to grāmya-sukha, which means "material happiness," without knowledge of eternal, blissful spiritual life.
Such fallen conditioned souls are not worthy to be called brāhmaṇas, but in Kali-yuga they claim to be brāhmaṇas, and if a person actually tries to attain the brahminical qualifications, they try to hinder his progress. This is the situation in the present age. Caitanya Mahāprabhu condemned this principle very strongly. During His conversation with Rāmānanda Rāya, He said that regardless of whether a person is born in a brāhmaṇa family or śūdra family, regardless of whether he is a householder or a sannyāsī, if he knows the science of Kṛṣṇa he must be a spiritual master. Caitanya Mahāprabhu had many so-called śūdra disciples like Haridāsa Ṭhākura and Rāmānanda Rāya. Even the Gosvāmīs, who were principal students of Lord Caitanya, were also ostracized from brāhmaṇa society, but Caitanya Mahāprabhu, by His grace, made them first-class Vaiṣṇavas.
He did not know how to decorate his wife and take part in social life because he was always in ecstasy with thoughts of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. According to the Vedic system, a daughter is given a sufficient dowry at the time of her marriage, and therefore Sati was also given a dowry by her father, and ornaments were included. It is also the custom that the husband gives some ornaments, but here it is particularly mentioned that her husband, being materially almost nothing, could not do so; therefore she wanted to decorate herself with the ornaments given by her father. It was fortunate for Satī that Lord Śiva did not take the ornaments from his wife and spend them for gāñjā, because those who imitate Lord Śiva in smoking gāñjā exploit everything from household affairs; they take all of their wives' property and spend on smoking, intoxication and similar other activities.
The activities and dress of a gṛhastha, or householder, are different from those of a sannyāsī, one in the renounced order of life. It is impossible for one person to adopt both orders. A sannyāsī cannot act like a householder, nor can a householder act like a sannyāsī, but above these two kinds of persons, one who engages in material activities and one who has renounced material activities, there is the person who is transcendental to both. Lord Śiva is in the transcendental position because, as stated before, he is always absorbed in the thought of Lord Vāsudeva within himself. Therefore neither the activities of the gṛhastha nor those of the sannyāsī in the renounced order can be applicable for him. He is in the paramahaṁsa stage, the highest perfectional stage of life. The transcendental position of Lord Śiva is also explained in Bhagavad-gītā (2.52-53). It is stated there that when one fully engages in the transcendental service of the Lord by performing activities without fruitive results, one is elevated to the transcendental position.
Generally, a thoroughly trained person takes to spiritual perfection at the end of his life. According to the Vedic system, therefore, life is divided into four stages. In the beginning, one becomes a brahmacārī, a student who studies Vedic knowledge under the authoritative guidance of a spiritual master. He then becomes a householder and executes household duties according to the Vedic process. Then the householder becomes a vānaprastha, and gradually, when he is mature, he renounces household life and vānaprastha life also and takes to sannyāsa, completely devoting himself to devotional service.
Thus as Dhruva Mahārāja passed on the road, from every place in the neighborhood all the gentle household ladies assembled to see him, and out of maternal affection they offered their blessings, showering him with white mustard seed, barley, curd, water, newly grown grass, fruits and flowers. In this way Dhruva Mahārāja, while hearing the pleasing songs sung by the ladies, entered the palace of his father.
Formerly, the taxes accumulated from the citizens were spent for performing great sacrifices as enjoined in the Vedic literature. At the present moment, however, almost all forms of sacrifice are not at all possible; therefore, it is recommended in the śāstras that people should perform saṅkīrtana-yajña. Any householder, regardless of his position, can perform this saṅkīrtana-yajña without expenditure. All the family members can sit down together and simply clap their hands and chant the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra. Somehow or other, everyone can manage to perform such a yajña and distribute prasāda to the people in general. That is quite sufficient for this age of Kali. The Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is based on this principle: chant the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra at every moment, as much as possible, both inside and outside of the temples, and, as far as possible, distribute prasāda. This process can be accelerated with the cooperation of state administrators and those who are producing the country's wealth.
Although Dhruva Mahārāja was a great devotee and had nothing to do with these sacrifices, to set an example to his people he performed many sacrifices and gave all his wealth in charity. For as long as he lived as a householder, he never spent a farthing for his sense gratification. In this verse the word karma-phala-pradam is very significant. The Lord awards everyone different kinds of karma as the individual living entities desire; He is the Supersoul present within the heart of everyone, and He is so kind and liberal that He gives everyone full facilities to perform whatever acts one wants. Then the result of the action is also enjoyed by the living entity. If anyone wants to enjoy or lord it over material nature, the Lord gives him full facilities, but he becomes entangled in the resultant reactions. Similarly, if anyone wants to engage himself fully in devotional service, the Lord gives him full facilities, and the devotee enjoys the results.
Vatsara's wife is mentioned here as iṣṭā, which means "worshipable." In other words, it appears that Vatsara's wife had all good qualities; for example, she was always very faithful and obedient and affectionate to her husband. She had all good qualities for managing household affairs. If both the husband and wife are endowed with good qualities and live peacefully, then nice children take birth, and thus the whole family is happy and prosperous.
It is said by Cāṇakya Paṇḍita that a father is an enemy when he is too much in debt, a mother is an enemy if she marries for a second time, a wife is an enemy when she is very beautiful, and a son is an enemy when he is a foolish rascal. In this way, when a family member becomes an enemy it is very difficult to live in family life or remain a householder. Generally such situations occur in the material world. Therefore according to Vedic culture one has to take leave of his family members just after his fiftieth year so that the balance of his life may be completely devoted in search of Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
According to Prahlāda Mahārāja, the material home is compared to a blind well. If a man falls down into a blind well, it is very difficult to get out of it and begin life again. Prahlāda Mahārāja has advised that one give up this blind well of home life as soon as possible and go to the forest to take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. According to Vedic civilization, this giving up of home by vānaprastha and sannyāsa is compulsory. But people are so attached to their homes that even up to the point of death they do not like to retire from home life. King Aṅga, therefore, thinking in terms of detachment, accepted his bad son as a good impetus for detachment from home life. He therefore considered his bad son his friend since he was helping him become detached from his home. Ultimately one has to learn how to detach oneself from attachment to material life; therefore, if a bad son, by his bad behavior, helps a householder to go away from home, it is a boon.
Thinking like that, King Aṅga could not sleep at night. He became completely indifferent to household life. Once, therefore, in the dead of night, he got up from bed and left Vena's mother (his wife), who was sleeping deeply. He gave up all attraction for his greatly opulent kingdom, and, unseen by anyone, he very silently gave up his home and opulence and proceeded towards the forest.
Sometimes the common man is bewildered by all this and considers such activities contradictory, but they are not contradictory. There is a great plan behind all the Lord's activities.
For our understanding it is sometimes said that the Lord is situated in the heart of the thief as well as in the heart of the householder, but the Supersoul in the heart of the thief dictates, "Go and steal things from that particular house," and at the same time the Lord tells the householder, "Now be careful of thieves and burglars." These instructions to different persons appear contradictory, yet we should know that the Supersoul, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, has some plan, and we should not consider such activities contradictory. The best course is to surrender unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead wholeheartedly, and, being protected by Him, remain peaceful.
Mother Lakṣmījī, the goddess of fortune, is well known for always massaging the lotus feet of Lord Nārāyaṇa. She is an ideal wife because she takes care of Lord Nārāyaṇa in every detail. She takes care not only of His lotus feet but of the household affairs of the Lord as well. She cooks nice foods for Him, fans Him while He eats, smoothes sandalwood pulp on His face and sets His bed and sitting places in the right order. In this way she is always engaged in the service of the Lord, and there is hardly any opportunity for any other devotee to intrude upon His daily activities. Pṛthu Mahārāja was therefore almost certain that his intrusion into the service of the goddess of fortune would irritate her and cause her to become angry with him. But why should mother Lakṣmī, the mother of the universe, be angry with an insignificant devotee like Pṛthu Mahārāja? All this was not very likely.
The laws of nature are very subtle. For example, if one eats in a place which is very sinful, he shares in the resultant reaction of the sinful activities performed there. (It is a Vedic system, therefore, for a householder to call brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas to eat at ceremonial performances in his house because the brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas can immunize him from sinful activities. But it is not the duty of rigid brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas to accept invitations everywhere. There is, of course, no objection to taking part in feasts in which prasāda is distributed.) There are many subtle laws which are practically unknown to people in general, but the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is very scientifically distributing all this Vedic knowledge for the benefit of the people of the world.
The conclusion is that if a saintly person goes to the house of even an unimportant man, such a person becomes glorious by his blessings. It is therefore the Vedic system that a householder invite a saintly person in his home to receive his blessings. This system is still current in India, and therefore saintly persons, wherever they go, are hosted by the householders, who in turn get an opportunity to receive transcendental knowledge. It is the duty of a sannyāsī, therefore, to travel everywhere just to favor the householders, who are generally ignorant of the values of spiritual life.
It may be argued that all householders are not very rich and that one cannot receive great saintly persons or preachers because they are always accompanied by their disciples. If a householder is to receive a saintly person, he has to receive his entourage also. It is said in the śāstras that Durvāsā Muni was always accompanied by sixty thousand disciples and that if there was a little discrepancy in their reception, he would be very angry and would sometimes curse the host. The fact is that every householder, regardless of his position or economic condition, can at least receive saintly guests with great devotion and offer them drinking water, for drinking water is available always. In India the custom is that even an ordinary person is offered a glass of water if he suddenly visits and one cannot offer him foodstuff. If there is no water, then one can offer a sitting place, even if it is on straw mats. And if one has no straw mat, he can immediately cleanse the ground and ask the guest to sit there. Supposing that a householder cannot even do that, then with folded hands he can simply receive the guest, saying, "Welcome." And if he cannot do that, then he should feel very sorry for his poor condition and shed tears and simply offer obeisances with his whole family, wife and children.
On the contrary, even though full of all opulence and material prosperity, any householder's house where the devotees of the Lord are never allowed to come in, and where there is no water for washing their feet, is to be considered a tree in which all venomous serpents live.
In this verse the word tīrtha-pādīya indicates devotees of Lord Viṣṇu, or Vaiṣṇavas. As far as brāhmaṇas are concerned, in the previous verse the mode of reception has been already described. Now, in this verse, special stress is being given to the Vaiṣṇavas. Generally the sannyāsīs, or those in the renounced order of life, take trouble to enlighten the householders. There are ekadaṇḍī sannyāsīs and tridaṇḍī sannyāsīs. The ekadaṇḍī sannyāsīs are generally followers of Śaṅkarācārya and are known as Māyāvādī sannyāsīs, whereas the tridaṇḍī sannyāsīs are followers of Vaiṣṇava ācāryas—Rāmānujācārya, Madhvācārya and so on—and they take trouble to enlighten the householders. Ekadaṇḍī sannyāsīs can be situated on the platform of pure Brahman because they are aware that the spirit soul is different from the body, but they are mainly impersonalists. The Vaiṣṇavas know that the Absolute Truth is the Supreme Person and that the Brahman effulgence is based on the Supreme Personality of Godhead, as confirmed in the Bhagavad-gītā (14.27): brahmaṇo hi pratiṣṭhāham.
"Trespassers not allowed," "Beware of the dog," etc. Sometimes in Western countries a trespasser is shot, and there is no crime in such shooting. This is the position of demoniac householders, and such houses are considered to be the residential quarters of venomous snakes. The members of such families are no better than snakes because snakes are very much envious, and when that envy is directed to the saintly persons, their position becomes more dangerous. It is said by Cāṇakya Paṇḍita that there are two envious living entities—the snake and the envious man. The envious man is more dangerous than a snake because a snake can be subdued by charming mantras or by some herbs, but an envious person cannot be pacified by any means.
The King continued: Therefore, my dear brāhmaṇas, my life, wife, children, home, furniture and household paraphernalia, my kingdom, strength, land and especially my treasury are all offered unto you.
Presently there are many bogus institutions which are collecting funds from the public for the purpose of giving food to starving people, but these funds are invariably misused. According to the Vedic instructions, the government should arrange things in such a way that there will be no question of starvation. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam it is stated that a householder must see to it that even a lizard or a snake does not starve. They also must be given food. In actuality, however, there is no question of starvation because everything is the property of the Supreme Lord, and He sees to it that there is ample arrangement for feeding everyone. In the Vedas (Kaṭha Upaniṣad 2.2.13) it is said: eko bahūnāṁ yo vidadhāti kāmān. The Supreme Lord supplies the necessities of life to everyone, and there is no question of starvation. If anyone starves, it is due to the mismanagement of the so-called ruler, governor or president.
"To give up the results of all activities is called renunciation (tyāga) by the wise. And that state is called the renounced order of life (sannyāsa) by great learned men." Although he was living as a householder, Pṛthu Mahārāja was actually in the renounced order of life, sannyāsa. This will be clearer in the following verses.
The word nirviṣaṅgaḥ ("uncontaminated") is very significant because Mahārāja Pṛthu was not attached to the results of his activities. In this material world a person is always thinking of the proprietorship of everything he accumulates or works for. When the fruits of one's activities are rendered to the service of the Lord, one is actually practicing karma-yoga. Anyone can practice karma-yoga, but it is especially easy for the householder, who can install the Deity of the Lord in the home and worship Him according to the methods of bhakti-yoga.
Mahārāja Pṛthu, who was very opulent due to the prosperity of his entire empire, remained at home as a householder. Since he was never inclined to utilize his opulences for the gratification of his senses, he remained unattached, exactly like the sun, which is unaffected in all circumstances.
The word gṛheṣu is significant in this verse. Out of the four āśramas—the brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa—only a gṛhastha, or householder, is allowed to associate with women; therefore the gṛhastha-āśrama is a kind of license for sense gratification given to the devotee. Pṛthu Mahārāja was special in that although he was given license to remain a householder, and although he possessed immense opulences in his kingdom, he never engaged in sense gratification. This was a special sign that indicated him to be a pure devotee of the Lord. A pure devotee is never attracted by sense gratification, and consequently he is liberated. In material life a person engages in sense gratification for his own personal satisfaction, but in the devotional or liberated life one aims to satisfy the senses of the Lord.
As a householder, Pṛthu Mahārāja had five sons by his wife, Arci, and all these sons were begotten as he desired them. They were not born whimsically or by accident. How one can beget children according to one's own desire is practically unknown in the present age (Kali-yuga). In this regard the secret of success depends on the parents' acceptance of the various purificatory methods known as saṁskāras. The first saṁskāra, the garbhādhāna-saṁskāra, or child-begetting saṁskāra, is compulsory, especially for the higher castes, the brāhmaṇas and the kṣatriyas. As stated in Bhagavad-gītā, sex life which is not against religious principles is Kṛṣṇa Himself, and according to religious principles, when one wants to beget a child he must perform the garbhādhāna-saṁskāra before having sex. The mental state of the father and mother before sex will certainly affect the mentality of the child to be begotten. A child who is begotten out of lust may not turn out as the parents desire. As stated in the śāstras, yathā yonir yathā bījam. Yathā yoniḥ indicates the mother, and yathā bījam indicates the father.
The Supreme Personality of Godhead is the ideal self-controller or brahmacārī. When Kṛṣṇa was elected to be president of the Rājasūya yajña performed by Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, Grandfather Bhīṣmadeva praised Lord Kṛṣṇa as the greatest brahmacārī. Because Grandfather Bhīṣmadeva was a brahmacārī, he was quite fit to distinguish a brahmacārī from a vyabhicārī. Although Pṛthu Mahārāja was a householder and father of five children, he was still considered to be most controlled. One who begets Kṛṣṇa conscious children for the benefit of humanity is actually a brahmacārī. One who simply begets children like cats and dogs is not a proper father. The word brahmacārī also refers to one who acts on the platform of Brahman, or devotional service. In the impersonal Brahman conception, there is no activity, yet when one performs activities in connection with the Supreme Personality of Godhead, he is to be known as brahmacārī. Thus Pṛthu Mahārāja was an ideal brahmacārī and gṛhastha simultaneously. Viṣvaksenānuvartiṣu refers to those devotees who are constantly engaged in the service of the Lord.
In Vedic civilization a man is taught from the beginning of his life to become a brahmacārī, then an ideal gṛhastha, then vānaprastha, then sannyāsī, and the wife is taught just to follow the husband strictly in all conditions of life. After the period of brahmacarya, a man accepts a householder's life, and the woman is also taught by her parents to be a chaste wife. Thus when a girl and boy are united, both are trained for a life dedicated to a higher purpose. The boy is trained to execute his duty in accordance with the higher purpose of life, and the girl is trained to follow him. The chaste wife's duty is to keep her husband pleased in householder life in all respects, and when the husband retires from family life, she is to go to the forest and adopt the life of vānaprastha, or vana-vāsī. At that time the wife is to follow her husband and take care of him, just as she took care of him in householder life.
Those who are interested only in a so-called beautiful life—namely remaining as a householder entangled by sons and a wife and searching after wealth—think that such things are life's ultimate goal. Such people simply wander in different types of bodies throughout this material existence without finding out the ultimate goal of life.
Dharmārtha-kāma-mokṣānāṁ dārāḥ samprāpti-hetavaḥ. The wife is the cause of all kinds of success in religion, economic development, sense gratification and ultimately salvation. When one accepts a wife, it is to be understood that he is being helped in his progressive march toward liberation. In the beginning of life a person is trained as a brahmacārī and is then allowed to marry a suitable girl and become a householder. If one is thoroughly trained in household life, he finds all facilities for human life-eating, sleeping, mating and defending. Everything is there if it is executed according to regulative principles.
Indeed, there are many so-called philosophers who give directions on how to enjoy sex life. There is even a science called kāma-śāstra, which is the science of sex. In human life there are also such divisions as brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa. There is no sex life except in the gṛhastha, or householder, āśrama. The brahmacārī is not allowed any sex, a vānaprastha voluntarily refrains from sex, and the sannyāsī is completely renounced. The karmīs do not practice brahmacarya, vānaprastha or sannyāsa life, for they are very much interested in gṛhastha life. In other words, a human being is very much materially inclined. Indeed, all living entities are materially inclined. They prefer gṛhastha life because there is a concession for sex. The karmīs think the other statuses of life are worse than animal life, for animals also have sex, whereas the brahmacārī, vānaprastha and sannyāsī completely give up sex. The karmīs, therefore, abhor these orders of spiritual life.
The woman continued: In this material world, a householder's life brings all kinds of happiness in religion, economic development, sense gratification and the begetting of children, sons and grandsons. After that, one may desire liberation as well as material reputation. The householder can appreciate the results of sacrifices, which enable him to gain promotion to superior planetary systems. All this material happiness is practically unknown to the transcendentalists. They cannot even imagine such happiness.
Thus the Vedas give direction to civilized human beings to enable them to satisfy their propensities for sense gratification.
In the nivṛtti-mārga, however, on the path of transcendental realization, sex is completely forbidden. The social orders are divided into four parts—brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa—and only in the householder life can the pravṛtti-mārga be encouraged or accepted according to Vedic instructions. In the orders of brahmacarya, vānaprastha and sannyāsa, there are no facilities for sex.
In this verse the woman is advocating pravṛtti-mārga only and is discouraging the path of nivṛtti-mārga. She clearly says that the yatis, the transcendentalists, who are concerned only with spiritual life (kaivalya), cannot imagine the happiness of pravṛtti-mārga. In other words, the man who follows the Vedic principles enjoys the materialistic way of life not only by becoming happy in this life, but also in the next life by being promoted to the heavenly planets.
Without caring for the distresses of birth, old age, disease and death, they are addicted to performing the special functions according to the Vedic ritualistic ceremonies.
Factually, however, pravṛtti-mārga is based on sex life. As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (7.9.45), yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham. A householder who is too much addicted to pravṛtti-mārga is actually called a gṛhamedhī, not a gṛhastha. Although the gṛhastha desires sense gratification, he acts according to Vedic instructions. The gṛhamedhī, however, who is interested only in sense gratification, does not follow any Vedic instruction. The gṛhamedhī engages himself as an advocate of sex life and also allows his sons and daughters to engage in sex and to be deprived of any glorious end in life. A gṛhastha enjoys sex life in this life as well as in the next, but a gṛhamedhī does not know what the next life is about because he is simply interested in sex in this life.
The woman continued: According to authorities, the householder life is pleasing not only to oneself but to all the forefathers, demigods, great sages, saintly persons and everyone else. A householder life is thus beneficial.
After taking his dinner and having his thirst and hunger satisfied, King Purañjana felt some joy within his heart. Instead of being elevated to a higher consciousness, he became captivated by Cupid, and was moved by a desire to find his wife, who kept him satisfied in his household life.
At that time King Purañjana was a little anxious, and he inquired from the household women: My dear beautiful women, are you and your mistress all very happy like before, or not?
King Purañjana said: I do not understand why my household paraphernalia does not attract me as before. I think that if there is neither a mother nor devoted wife at home, the home is like a chariot without wheels. Where is the fool who will sit down on such an unworkable chariot?
The real mātā, or mother, is devotional service to the Lord, and the real patnī, or devoted wife, is a wife who helps her husband execute religious principles in devotional service. These two things are required for a happy home.
Actually, a woman is supposed to be the energy of the man. Historically, in the background of every great man there is either a mother or a wife. One's household life is very successful if he has both a good wife and mother. In such a case, everything about household affairs and all the paraphernalia in the house becomes very pleasing. Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu had both a good mother and pleasing wife, and He was very happy at home. Nonetheless, for the benefit of the whole human race, He took sannyāsa and left both His mother and wife. In other words, it is essential that one have both a good mother and wife in order to become perfectly happy at home.
The word dharma-patnī also refers to a chaste wife. A chaste wife is one who never had any connection with men before her marriage. Once a woman is given the freedom to mingle with all kinds of men in her youth, it is very difficult for her to keep chaste. She generally cannot remain chaste. When butter is brought into the proximity of fire, it melts. The woman is like fire, and man is like the butter. But if one gets a chaste wife, accepted through a religious marriage ritual, she can be of great help when one is threatened by the many dangerous situations of life. Actually such a wife can become the source of all good intelligence. With such a good wife, the family's engagement in the devotional service of the Lord actually makes a home a gṛhastha-āśrama, or household dedicated to spiritual cultivation.
Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu has described the vaiṣṇava-aparādha, or offense to a Vaiṣṇava, as "the mad elephant offense." One should be very careful not to offend a Vaiṣṇava or a brāhmaṇa. Even the great yogī Durvāsā was harassed by the Sudarśana cakra when he offended the Vaiṣṇava Mahārāja Ambarīṣa, who was neither a brāhmaṇa nor a sannyāsī but an ordinary householder. Mahārāja Ambarīṣa was a Vaiṣṇava, and consequently Durvāsā Muni was chastised.
The conclusion is that if Kṛṣṇa consciousness is covered by material sins, one can eliminate the sins simply by chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra, but if one pollutes his Kṛṣṇa consciousness by offending a brāhmaṇa or a Vaiṣṇava, one cannot revive it until one properly atones for the sin by pleasing the offended Vaiṣṇava or brāhmaṇa. This was the course that Durvāsā Muni had to follow, for he surrendered unto Mahārāja Ambarīṣa. A vaiṣṇava-aparādha cannot be atoned for by any means other than by begging the pardon of the offended Vaiṣṇava.
Otherwise, the husband, coming under the control of the wife, sacrifices his quality of goodness and becomes subservient to the qualities of passion and ignorance. In this way the whole situation becomes polluted.
The conclusion is that a household life is better than a sinful life devoid of responsibility, but if in the household life the husband becomes subordinate to the wife, involvement in materialistic life again becomes prominent. In this way a man's material bondage becomes enhanced. Because of this, according to the Vedic system, after a certain age a man is recommended to abandon his family life for the stages of vānaprastha and sannyāsa.
The word pramadā in this verse is very significant. A beautiful wife is certainly enlivening to her husband, but at the same time is the cause of degradation. The word pramadā means "enlivening" as well as "maddening." Generally a householder does not take the passing of days and nights very seriously. A person in ignorance takes it as the usual course that days come, and after the days, the nights come. This is the law of material nature. But a man in ignorance does not know that when the sun rises early in the morning it begins to take away the balance of his life. Thus day after day the span of one's life is reduced, and forgetting the duty of human life, the foolish man simply remains in the company of his wife and enjoys her in a secluded place. Such a condition is called apakṛṣṭa-cetana, or degraded consciousness. Human consciousness should be used for elevation to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But when a person is too much attracted to his wife and family affairs, he does not take Kṛṣṇa consciousness very seriously. He thus becomes degraded, not knowing that he cannot buy back even a second of his life in return for millions of dollars.
Material activity means manufacturing things for sense gratification. Scientists are conducting research to find out how we can satisfy our senses more and more elaborately. In this Kali-yuga, the demoniac mentality is employed in manufacturing various machines to facilitate the process of sense gratification. There are so many machines for ordinary household activities. There are machines for washing dishes, cleansing the floor, shaving, clipping hair—today everything is done by machine. All these facilities for sense gratification are described in this verse as sarva-kāma-vinirmitām. The time factor, however, is so strong that not only is our span of life being expended, but all the machines and facilities for sense gratification are deteriorating. Therefore in this verse the word vilumpanti ("plundering") is used. Everything is being plundered from the very beginning of our lives.
According to the Vedic principles, one should rise early in the morning, take bath, chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, offer maṅgala-ārati to the Deities, study Vedic literature, take prasāda and engage in dressing and decorating the Deities. One must also collect money for the temple expenditures, or if one is a householder he must go to work in accordance with the prescribed duties of a brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya or śūdra. In this way one should live a life of spiritual understanding, and this is the Vedic way of civilization. One who does not follow all these rules and regulations is called a yavana or mleccha. One should not mistakenly think that these words refer to certain classes of men in other countries. There is no question of limitation according to nationalism. Whether one lives in India or outside of India, he is called a yavana or mleccha if he does not follow the Vedic principles. One who does not actually follow the hygienic principles prescribed in the Vedic rules and regulations will be subjected to many contagious diseases.
"He who discards scriptural injunctions and acts according to his own whims attains neither perfection, nor happiness, nor the supreme destination." One who does not strictly follow the terms of the Vedic injunctions never attains success in life or happiness. And what to speak of going home, back to Godhead.
One śāstric injunction holds that a householder, a kṣatriya or an administrative head should not refuse to accept a woman if she voluntarily requests to become a wife. Since Kālakanyā, the daughter of Time, was deputed by Nārada Muni to offer herself to Yavana-rāja, the King of the Yavanas could not refuse her. All transactions must be performed in light of the śāstric injunctions. The śāstric injunctions are confirmed by great sages like Nārada Muni. As stated by Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura: sādhu-śāstra-guru-vākya, cittete kariyā aikya.
King Purañjana then began to think of his daughters, sons, grandsons, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, servants and other associates as well as his house, his household paraphernalia and his little accumulation of wealth.
King Purañjana continued thinking how, when he was in a state of bewilderment, his wife would give him good counsel and how she would become aggrieved when he was away from home. Although she was the mother of so many sons and heroes, the King still feared that she would not be able to maintain the responsibility of household affairs.
My dear King, just try to understand the allegorical position of the deer. Be fully conscious of yourself, and give up the pleasure of hearing about promotion to heavenly planets by fruitive activity. Give up household life, which is full of sex, as well as stories about such things, and take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead through the mercy of the liberated souls. In this way, please give up your attraction for material existence.
Remaining in family life is a kind of concession for sense enjoyment. One should know that sense enjoyment is not required, but one has to accept sense enjoyment inasmuch as one has to live. As confirmed in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (1.2.10): kāmasya nendriya-prītiḥ. One has to become a gosvāmī and control his senses. One should not simply use his senses for sense gratification; rather, the senses should be employed just as much as required for maintaining body and soul together. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī recommends: anāsaktasya viṣayān yathārham upayuñjataḥ. One should not be attached to sense objects, but should accept sense enjoyment as much as required, no more. If one wishes to enjoy the senses more than required, he becomes attached to family life, which means bondage. All the Pracetās admitted their fault in remaining in household life.
Nor did they want the fulfillment of their material desires. They were simply interested in crossing the ocean of nescience. Everyone should be interested in getting out of these material clutches. Everyone should approach a saintly person in order to be enlightened in this connection. One should not bother a saintly person to get blessings for material enjoyment. Generally, householders receive saintly persons to get their blessings, but their real aim is to become happy in the material world. Asking such material benedictions is not recommended in the śāstras.
SB Canto 5
King Parīkṣit inquired from Śukadeva Gosvāmī: O great sage, why did King Priyavrata, who was a great, self-realized devotee of the Lord, remain in household life, which is the root cause of the bondage of karma (fruitive activities) and which defeats the mission of human life?
In the Fourth Canto, Śrīla Śukadeva Gosvāmī explains that Nārada Muni perfectly instructed King Priyavrata about the mission of human life. The mission of human life is to realize one's self and then gradually to go back home, back to Godhead. Since Nārada Muni instructed the King fully on this subject, why did he again enter household life, which is the main cause of material bondage? Mahārāja Parīkṣit was greatly astonished that King Priyavrata remained in household life, especially since he was not only a self-realized soul but also a first-class devotee of the Lord. A devotee actually has no attraction for household life, but surprisingly, King Priyavrata enjoyed household life very much. One may argue, "Why is it wrong to enjoy household life?" The reply is that in household life one becomes bound by the results of fruitive activities. The essence of household life is sense enjoyment, and as long as one engrosses his mind in working hard for sense enjoyment, one becomes bound by the reactions of fruitive activities.
Therefore in Vedic civilization one is trained in the very beginning of life as a brahmacārī. A brahmacārī must execute austerities and refrain from sex indulgence. Therefore if one is completely trained in the principles of brahmacarya, he generally does not enter household life. He is then called a naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī, which indicates total celibacy. King Parīkṣit was thus astonished that the great King Priyavrata, although trained in the principles of naiṣṭhika-brahmacarya, entered household life.
The words bhāgavata ātmārāmaḥ are very significant in this verse. If one is self-satisfied as is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, he is called bhāgavata ātmārāmaḥ. There are different types of satisfaction. Karmīs are satisfied in their fruitive activities, jñānīs are satisfied to merge into the effulgence of Brahman, and devotees are satisfied to engage in the Lord's service. The Lord is self-satisfied because He is fully opulent, and one who is satisfied by serving Him is called bhāgavata ātmārāmaḥ.
The word parābhavaḥ in this verse is also significant. When one is satisfied in family life, he is doomed because he must already have forgotten his relationship with the Lord. Prahlāda Mahārāja describes how the activities of family life implicate one more and more. Ātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpam: household life is like a dark well. If one falls into this well, his spiritual death is assured. How Priyavrata Mahārāja remained a liberated paramahaṁsa even within family life is described in the next verse.
Therefore Brahmā first looked upon Priyavrata with compassion. His smile and compassionate features also indicated that although Brahmā would request Priyavrata to accept household life, Priyavrata would not be out of touch with devotional service. By the blessings of a Vaiṣṇava, everything is possible. This is described in Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu as kṛpā-siddhi, or perfection attained simply by the blessings of a superior person. One usually becomes liberated and perfect by executing the regulative principles set down in the śāstras. Nonetheless, many persons have achieved perfection simply by the blessings of a spiritual master or superior.
Priyavrata was the grandson of Lord Brahmā, and as joking competition sometimes takes place between grandson and grandfather, in this case also Priyavrata was determined to remain in meditation, whereas Brahmā was determined that he rule the universe. Thus Lord Brahmā's affectionate smile and glance meant, "My dear Priyavrata, you have decided not to accept household life, but I have decided to convince you that you must accept it." Actually, Brahmā had come to praise Priyavrata for his high standard of renunciation, austerity, penance and devotion so that he would not be deviated from devotional service, even though he would accept household life.
In this verse, one important word is sūkta-vākena (by Vedic hymns). In the Vedas, there is the following prayer to Lord Brahmā: hiraṇyagarbhaḥ samavartatāgre bhūtasya jātaḥ patir eka āsīt. Brahmā was received with the appropriate Vedic hymns, and because he was welcomed according to the Vedic etiquette, he was very pleased.
The word manīṣayā ("by intelligence") is of special significance. Priyavrata might argue that Lord Brahmā was requesting him to accept family life and the responsibility for ruling a kingdom, although Nārada Muni had advised him not to enter household life and be entangled in material affairs. Whom to accept would be a puzzle for Priyavrata because both Lord Brahmā and Nārada Muni are authorities. Under the circumstances, the use of the word manīṣayā is very appropriate, for it indicates that since both Nārada Muni and Lord Brahmā are authorized to give instruction, Priyavrata should neglect neither of them but should use his intelligence to follow the advice of both. To solve such dilemmas, Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has given a very clear conception of intelligence.
Even if he goes from forest to forest, one who is not self-controlled must always fear material bondage because he is living with six co-wives—the mind and knowledge-acquiring senses. Even householder life, however, cannot harm a self-satisfied, learned man who has conquered his senses.
Here this is also repeated. For one who has not controlled his senses, going to the forest to become a so-called yogī is meaningless. Because his uncontrolled mind and senses are going with him, he cannot achieve anything, even by giving up household life and staying in the forest. Formerly many mercantile men from the up-country of India used to go to Bengal, and thus there is a familiar saying, "If you go to Bengal, your fortune will go with you." Our first concern, therefore, should be to control the senses, and since the senses cannot be controlled unless engaged in the devotional service of the Lord, our most important duty is to engage the senses in devotional service. Hṛṣīkeṇa hṛṣīkeśa-sevanaṁ bhaktir ucyate: (CC Madhya 19.170) bhakti means engagement of the purified senses in the service of the Lord.
"If you go to Bengal, your fortune will go with you." Our first concern, therefore, should be to control the senses, and since the senses cannot be controlled unless engaged in the devotional service of the Lord, our most important duty is to engage the senses in devotional service. Hṛṣīkeṇa hṛṣīkeśa-sevanaṁ bhaktir ucyate: (CC Madhya 19.170) bhakti means engagement of the purified senses in the service of the Lord.
Herein Lord Brahmā indicates that instead of going to the forest with uncontrolled senses, it is better and more secure to engage the senses in the service of the Lord. Even household life can do no harm to a self-controlled person acting in this way; it cannot force him into material bondage. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has further enunciated this position:
"Regardless of one's circumstances, if one fully engages his activities, mind and words in the devotional service of the Lord, he should be understood to be a liberated person." Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura was a responsible officer and a householder, yet his service to the cause of expanding the mission of Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu is unique. Śrīla Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī Ṭhākura says, durdāntendriya-kāla-sarpa-paṭalī protkhāta-daṁṣṭrāyate. The sense organs are certainly our greatest enemies, and they are therefore compared to venomous serpents. However, if a venomous serpent is bereft of its poison fangs, it is no longer fearful. Similarly, if the senses are engaged in the service of the Lord, there is no need to fear their activities. The devotees in the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement move within this material world, but because their senses are fully engaged in the service of the Lord, they are always aloof from the material world.
One who is situated in household life and who systematically conquers his mind and five sense organs is like a king in his fortress who conquers his powerful enemies. After one has been trained in household life and his lusty desires have decreased, he can move anywhere without danger.
The Vedic system of four varṇas and four āśramas is very scientific, and its entire purpose is to enable one to control the senses. Before entering household life (gṛhastha-āśrama), a student is fully trained to become jitendriya, a conqueror of the senses. Such a mature student is allowed to become a householder, and because he was first trained in conquering his senses, he retires from household life and becomes vānaprastha as soon as the strong waves of youthful life are past and he reaches the verge of old age at fifty years or slightly more. Then, after being further trained, he accepts sannyāsa. He is then a fully learned and renounced person who can move anywhere and everywhere without fear of being captivated by material desires. The senses are considered very powerful enemies. As a king in a strong fortress can conquer powerful enemies, so a householder in gṛhastha-āśrama, household life, can conquer the lusty desires of youth and be very secure when he takes vānaprastha and sannyāsa.
Svāyambhuva Manu was practically hopeless because such a great personality as Nārada was instructing his son Priyavrata not to accept household life. Now he was very pleased that Lord Brahmā had interfered by inducing his son to accept the responsibility for ruling the government of the universe. From Bhagavad-gītā we get information that Vaivasvata Manu was the son of the sun-god and that his son, Mahārāja Ikṣvāku, ruled this planet earth. Svāyambhuva Manu, however, appears to have been in charge of the entire universe, and he entrusted to his son, Mahārāja Priyavrata, the responsibility for maintaining and protecting all the planetary systems. Dharā-maṇḍala means "planet." This earth, for instance, is called dharā-maṇḍala.
Mahārāja Priyavrata not only carried out the order of Lord Brahmā by accepting the duties of government, but also married Barhiṣmatī, the daughter of Viśvakarmā, one of the prajāpatis. Since Mahārāja Priyavrata was fully trained in transcendental knowledge, he could have returned home and conducted the business of government as a brahmacārī. Instead, however, when he returned to household life, he accepted a wife also. The principle is that when one becomes a gṛhastha, he must live perfectly in that order, which means he must live peacefully with a wife and children. When Caitanya Mahāprabhu's first wife died, His mother requested Him to marry for a second time. He was twenty years old and was going to take sannyāsa at the age of twenty-four, yet by the request of His mother, He married. "As long as I am in household life," He told His mother, "I must have a wife, for household life does not mean staying in a house. Real household life means living in a house with a wife."
He thought that Lord Brahmā, the creator of the universe, might have been pleased with him and might therefore have sent her to become his wife. He requested Pūrvacitti to become his wife so that together they could perform austerities and penances in family life. In other words, a suitable wife helps her husband perform penances and austerities in household life if both of them are on the same elevated platform of spiritual understanding. Without spiritual understanding, husband and wife cannot be equally situated. Lord Brahmā, the creator of the universe, is interested in good progeny. Therefore unless he is pleased, one cannot get a suitable wife. In fact, Lord Brahmā is worshiped in marriage ceremonies. In India even today, wedding invitations are still issued with a picture of Lord Brahmā on the face of the card.
There are many instances in which Apsarās, heavenly angels, have descended to this earth by the order of a superior demigod like Lord Brahmā or Lord Indra, have followed the demigod's order by marrying someone and giving birth to children, and have then returned to their celestial homes. For example, after Menakā, the celestial woman who had come to delude Viśvāmitra Muni, gave birth to the child Śakuntalā, she left both the child and her husband and returned to the heavenly planets. Pūrvacitti did not remain permanently with Mahārāja Āgnīdhra. After cooperating in his household affairs, she left Mahārāja Āgnīdhra and all nine sons and returned to Brahmā to worship him.
After Nābhi Mahārāja departed for Badarikāśrama, the Supreme Lord, Ṛṣabhadeva, understood that His kingdom was His field of activities. He therefore showed Himself as an example and taught the duties of a householder by first accepting brahmacarya under the direction of spiritual masters. He also went to live at the spiritual masters' place, gurukula. After His education was finished, He gave gifts (guru-dakṣiṇā) to His spiritual masters and then accepted the life of a householder. He took a wife named Jayantī and begot one hundred sons who were as powerful and qualified as He Himself. His wife Jayantī had been offered to Him by Indra, the King of heaven. Ṛṣabhadeva and Jayantī performed householder life in an exemplary way, carrying out ritualistic activities ordained by the śruti and smṛti śāstra.
As stated in Bhagavad-gītā, paritrāṇāya sādhūnāṁ vināśāya ca duṣkṛtām: (BG 4.8) the purpose of an incarnation is to liberate His devotees and to stop the demoniac activities of nondevotees. These are the two functions of the Supreme Lord when He incarnates. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu has said that in order to preach, one must live a practical life and show people how to do things. Āpani ācari' bhakti śikhāimu sabāre. One cannot teach others unless he behaves the same way himself. Ṛṣabhadeva was an ideal king, and He took His education in the gurukula, although He was already educated because the Supreme Lord is omniscient. Although Ṛṣabhadeva had nothing to learn from gurukula, He went there just to teach the people in general how to take an education from the right source, from Vedic teachers. He then entered householder life and lived according to the principles of Vedic knowledge—śruti and smṛti. In his Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu (1.2.101) Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, quoting the Skanda Purāṇa, states:
Being an incarnation of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Ṛṣabhadeva was fully independent because His form was spiritual, eternal and full of transcendental bliss. He eternally had nothing to do with the four principles of material misery (birth, death, old age and disease). Nor was He materially attached. He was always equipoised, and He saw everyone on the same level. He was unhappy to see others unhappy, and He was the well-wisher of all living entities. Although He was a perfect personality, the Supreme Lord and controller of all, He nonetheless acted as if He were an ordinary conditioned soul. Therefore He strictly followed the principles of varṇāśrama-dharma and acted accordingly. In due course of time, the principles of varṇāśrama-dharma had become neglected; therefore through His personal characteristics and behavior, He taught the ignorant public how to perform duties within the varṇāśrama-dharma. In this way He regulated the general populace in householder life, enabling them to develop religion and economic well-being and to attain reputations, sons and daughters, material pleasure and finally eternal life. By His instructions, He showed how people could remain householders and at the same time become perfect by following the principles of varṇāśrama-dharma.
Those who are interested in reviving Kṛṣṇa consciousness and increasing their love of Godhead do not like to do anything that is not related to Kṛṣṇa. They are not interested in mingling with people who are busy maintaining their bodies, eating, sleeping, mating and defending. They are not attached to their homes, although they may be householders. Nor are they attached to wives, children, friends or wealth. At the same time, they are not indifferent to the execution of their duties. Such people are interested in collecting only enough money to keep the body and soul together.
Even if one is a gṛhastha and has to earn his livelihood, he should be satisfied by collecting only enough money to maintain body and soul together. One should not have more than that nor less than that. As indicated herein, a householder should endeavor to earn money for the execution of bhakti-yoga-śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ smaraṇaṁ pāda-sevanam/ arcanaṁ vandanaṁ dāsyaṁ sakhyam ātma-nivedanam (SB 7.5.23). A householder should lead such a life that he gets full opportunity to hear and chant. He should worship the Deity at home, observe festivals, invite friends in and give them prasāda. A householder should earn money for this purpose, not for sense gratification.
However, at that stage one is still interested in sense gratification and is contaminated by the modes of material nature. The influence of māyā is so strong that even a person advanced in knowledge actually forgets that he is Kṛṣṇa's eternal servant. Therefore he remains satisfied in his householder life, which is centered around sexual intercourse. Conceding to a life of sex, he agrees to suffer all kinds of material miseries. Due to ignorance, one is thus bound by the chain of material laws.
My dear King Rahūgaṇa, unless one has the opportunity to smear his entire body with the dust of the lotus feet of great devotees, one cannot realize the Absolute Truth. One cannot realize the Absolute Truth simply by observing celibacy (brahmacarya), strictly following the rules and regulations of householder life, leaving home as a vānaprastha, accepting sannyāsa, or undergoing severe penances in winter by keeping oneself submerged in water or surrounding oneself in summer by fire and the scorching heat of the sun. There are many other processes to understand the Absolute Truth, but the Absolute Truth is only revealed to one who has attained the mercy of a great devotee.
The material household is actually a hole of fruitive activity. To earn a livelihood one engages in different industries and trades, and sometimes one performs great sacrifices to go to higher planetary systems. Apart from this, at least everyone is engaged in earning a livelihood in some profession or occupation. In these dealings, one has to meet many undesirable people, and their behavior is compared to the biting of mosquitoes. This creates very undesirable conditions. Even in the midst of these disturbances, one imagines that he is going to construct a grand house and live there permanently, although he knows that he cannot. Gold is compared to a quickly fleeting fiend, which appears like a meteor in the sky. It displays itself for a moment and is then gone. Generally karmīs are attracted to gold or money, but these are compared herein to ghosts and witches.
It is said that household attraction resides in the wife because sex is the center of household life: yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). A materialistic person, making his wife the center of attraction, works very hard day and night. His only enjoyment in material life is sexual intercourse. Therefore karmīs are attracted to women as friends or wives. Indeed, they cannot work without sex. Under the circumstances the wife is compared to a whirlwind, especially during her menstrual period. Those who strictly follow the rules and regulations of householder life engage in sex only once a month, at the end of the menstrual period. As one looks forward to this opportunity, his eyes are overwhelmed by the beauty of his wife. Thus it is said that the whirlwind covers the eyes with dust. Such a lusty person does not know that all his material activities are being observed by different demigods, especially the sun-god, and are being recorded for the karma of one's next body. Astrological calculations are called jyoti-śāstra.
Sometimes the conditioned soul jumps into a shallow river, or being short of food grains, he goes to beg food from people who are not at all charitable. Sometimes he suffers from the burning heat of household life, which is like a forest fire, and sometimes he becomes sad to have his wealth, which is as dear as life, plundered by kings in the name of heavy income taxes.
The conditioned soul is always experiencing miserable conditions. Sometimes his efforts to get help from friends are exactly like jumping into a dry river. By such actions, he does not derive any benefit. He only breaks his bones. Sometimes, suffering from a shortage of food, one may go to a person who is neither able to give charity nor willing to do so. Sometimes one is stationed in household life, which is compared to a forest fire (saṁsāra-dāvānala-līḍha-loka **). When a man is heavily taxed by the government, he becomes very sad. Heavy taxation obliges one to hide his income, but despite this endeavor the government agents are often so vigilant and strong that they take all the money anyway, and the conditioned soul becomes very aggrieved.
When the living entity becomes exactly like a monkey jumping from one branch to another, he remains in the tree of household life without any profit but sex. Thus he is kicked by his wife just like the he-ass. Unable to gain release, he remains helplessly in that position. Sometimes he falls victim to an incurable disease, which is like falling into a mountain cave. He becomes afraid of death, which is like the elephant in the back of that cave, and he remains stranded, grasping at the twigs and branches of a creeper.
The precarious condition of a householder's life is described herein. A householder's life is full of misery, and the only attraction is sex with the wife who kicks him during sexual intercourse, just as the she-ass does her mate. Due to continuous sex life, he falls victim to many incurable diseases. At that time, being afraid of death, which is like an elephant, he remains hanging from the twigs and branches of the tree, just like a monkey.
One Hindi poet has sung: din kī dakinī rāt kī bāghinī pālak pālak lahu cuse. During the daytime, the wife is compared to a witch, and at night she is compared to a tigress. Her only business is sucking the blood of her husband both day and night. During the day there are household expenditures, and the money earned by the husband at the cost of his blood is taken away. At night, due to sex pleasure, the husband discharges blood in the form of semen. In this way he is bled by his wife both day and night, yet he is so crazy that he very carefully maintains her. Similarly, the children are also like tigers, jackals and foxes. As tigers, jackals and foxes take away lambs despite the herdsman's vigilant protection, children take away the father's money, although the father supervises the money himself. Thus family members may be called wives and children, but actually they are plunderers.
Sometimes the conditioned soul in household life, being attached to material wealth and possessions, is disturbed by gadflies and mosquitoes, and sometimes locusts, birds of prey and rats give him trouble. Nonetheless, he still wanders down the path of material existence. Due to ignorance he becomes lusty and engages in fruitive activity. Because his mind is absorbed in these activities, he sees the material world as permanent, although it is temporary like a phantasmagoria, a house in the sky.
In this world, family life is exactly like a blazing fire in the forest. There is not the least happiness, and gradually one becomes more and more implicated in unhappiness. In household life, there is nothing favorable for perpetual happiness. Being implicated in home life, the conditioned soul is burned by the fire of lamentation. Sometimes he condemns himself as being very unfortunate, and sometimes he claims that he suffers because he performed no pious activities in his previous life.
In household life one is ordered to execute many yajñas and fruitive activities, especially the vivāha-yajña (the marriage ceremony for sons and daughters) and the sacred thread ceremony. These are all the duties of a gṛhastha, and they are very extensive and troublesome to execute. They are compared to a big hill over which one must cross when one is attached to material activities. A person desiring to cross over these ritualistic ceremonies certainly feels pains like the piercing of thorns and pebbles endured by one attempting to climb a hill. Thus the conditioned soul suffers unlimitedly.
When he does so, his responsibility to the family is complete. Arranging marriages is very difficult, especially in these days. At the present moment no one can perform the proper ritual of sacrifice, nor can anyone afford to pay for the marriage ceremony of sons and daughters. Therefore householders are very much distressed when they are confronted by these social duties. It is as though they were pierced by thorns and hurt by pebbles. Material attachment is so strong that despite the suffering, one cannot give it up. Prahlāda Mahārāja therefore recommends (SB 7.5.5):
They may steal money and even fall down from the highly honored renounced order. Then for a livelihood they accept menial services and become beggars. It is therefore said in the śāstras, yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham: (SB 7.9.45) materialism is based on sex, whether licit or illicit. Sex is full of dangers even for those who are addicted to household life. Whether one has a license for sex or not, there is great trouble. Bahu-duḥkha-bhāk: after one indulges in sex, many volumes of miseries ensue. One suffers more and more in material life. A miserly person cannot properly utilize the wealth he has, and similarly a materialistic person misuses the human form. Instead of using it for spiritual emancipation, he uses the body for sense gratification. Therefore he is called a miser.
The lion is the wheel of time, and the herons, crows and vultures are so-called demigods, pseudo svāmīs, yogīs and incarnations. All of these are too insignificant to give one relief. The swans are the perfect brāhmaṇas, and the monkeys are the extravagant śūdras engaged in eating, sleeping, mating and defending. The trees of the monkeys are our households, and the elephant is ultimate death. Thus all the constituents of material existence are described in this chapter.
King Gaya gave full protection and security to the citizens so that their personal property would not be disturbed by undesirable elements. He also saw that there was sufficient food to feed all the citizens. (This is called poṣaṇa.) He would sometimes distribute gifts to the citizens to satisfy them. (This is called prīṇana.) He would sometimes call meetings and satisfy the citizens with sweet words. (This is called upalālana.) He would also give them good instructions on how to become first-class citizens. (This is called anuśāsana.) Such were the characteristics of King Gaya's royal order. Besides all this, King Gaya was a householder who strictly observed the rules and regulations of household life. He performed sacrifices and was an unalloyed pure devotee of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He was called Mahāpuruṣa because as a king he gave the citizens all facilities, and as a householder he executed all his duties so that at the end he became a strict devotee of the Supreme Lord. As a devotee, he was always ready to give respect to other devotees and to engage in the devotional service of the Lord. This is the bhakti-yoga process. Due to all these transcendental activities, King Gaya was always free from the bodily conception. He was full in Brahman realization, and consequently he was always jubilant. He did not experience material lamentation. Although he was perfect in all respects, he was not proud, nor was he anxious to rule the kingdom.
Just as aquatics always desire to remain in the vast mass of water, all conditioned living entities naturally desire to remain in the vast existence of the Supreme Lord. Therefore if someone very great by material calculations fails to take shelter of the Supreme Soul but instead becomes attached to material household life, his greatness is like that of a young, low-class couple. One who is too attached to material life loses all good spiritual qualities.
When the living entity remains in contact with the all-pervading Vāsudeva, the Personality of Godhead, he manifests his spiritual power, exactly as the crocodile exhibits its strength in the water. In other words, the greatness of the living entity can be perceived when he is in the spiritual world, engaged in spiritual activities. Many householders, although well-educated in the knowledge of the Vedas, become attached to family life. They are compared herein to crocodiles out of water, for they are devoid of all spiritual strength. Their greatness is like that of a young husband and wife who, though uneducated, praise one another and become attracted to their own temporary beauty. This kind of greatness is appreciated only by low-class men with no qualifications.
Everyone should therefore seek the shelter of the Supreme Soul, the source of all living entities. No one should waste his time in the so-called happiness of materialistic household life. In the Vedic civilization, this type of crippled life is allowed only until one's fiftieth year, when one must give up family life and enter either the order of vānaprastha (independent retired life for cultivation of spiritual knowledge) or sannyāsa (the renounced order, in which one completely takes shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead).
"O Nāciketā, the expansions of Lord Viṣṇu as the tiny living entity and the Supersoul are both situated within the cave of the heart of this body. Having entered that cavity, the living entity, resting on the chief of the life airs, enjoys the results of activities, and the Supersoul, acting as witness enables him to enjoy them. Those who are well-versed in knowledge of Brahman and those householders who carefully follow the Vedic regulations say that the difference between the two is like the difference between a shadow and the sun."
In these seven planetary systems, which are also known as the subterranean heavens (bila-svarga), there are very beautiful houses, gardens and places of sense enjoyment, which are even more opulent than those in the higher planets because the demons have a very high standard of sensual pleasure, wealth and influence. Most of the residents of these planets, who are known as Daityas, Dānavas and Nāgas, live as householders. Their wives, children, friends and society are all fully engaged in illusory, material happiness. The sense enjoyment of the demigods is sometimes disturbed, but the residents of these planets enjoy life without disturbances. Thus they are understood to be very attached to illusory happiness.
A householder who receives guests or visitors with cruel glances, as if to burn them to ashes, is put into the hell called Paryāvartana, where he is gazed at by hard-eyed vultures, herons, crows and similar birds, which suddenly swoop down and pluck out his eyes with great force.
According to the Vedic etiquette, even an enemy who comes to a householder's home should be received in such a gentle way that he forgets that he has come to the home of an enemy. A guest who comes to one's home should be received very politely. If he is unwanted, the householder should not stare at him with blinking eyes, for one who does so will be put into the hell known as Paryāvartana after death, and there many ferocious birds like vultures, crows, and coknis will suddenly come upon him and pluck out his eyes.
SB Canto 6
The word pravayasaḥ indicates Ajāmila's sinfulness because although he was eighty-eight years old, he had a very young child. According to Vedic culture, one should leave home as soon as he has reached fifty years of age; one should not live at home and go on producing children. Sex life is allowed for twenty-five years, between the ages of twenty-five and forty-five or, at the most, fifty. After that one should give up the habit of sex life and leave home as a vānaprastha and then properly take sannyāsa. Ajāmila, however, because of his association with a prostitute, lost all brahminical culture and became most sinful, even in his so-called household life.
In the beginning this brāhmaṇa named Ajāmila studied all the Vedic literatures. He was a reservoir of good character, good conduct and good qualities. Firmly established in executing all the Vedic injunctions, he was very mild and gentle, and he kept his mind and senses under control. Furthermore, he was always truthful, he knew how to chant the Vedic mantras, and he was also very pure. Ajāmila was very respectful to his spiritual master, the fire-god, guests, and the elderly members of his household. Indeed, he was free from false prestige. He was upright, benevolent to all living entities, and well behaved. He would never speak nonsense or envy anyone.
After warning the Yamadūtas not to approach the devotees, Yamarāja now indicates who is to be brought before him. He specifically advises the Yamadūtas to bring him the materialistic persons who are attached to household life merely for sex. As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham: (SB 7.9.45) people are attached to household life for sex only. They are always harassed in many ways by their material engagements, and their only happiness is that after working very hard all day, at night they sleep and indulge in sex. Nidrayā hriyate naktaṁ vyavāyena ca vā vayaḥ: (SB 2.1.3) at night, materialistic householders sleep or indulge in sex life. Divā cārthehayā rajan kuṭumba-bharaṇena vā: during the day they are busy trying to find out where money is, and if they get money they spend it to maintain their families.
As the father and mother are the friends and maintainers of their children, as the eyelid is the protector of the eye, as the husband is the maintainer and protector of a woman, as the householder is the maintainer and protector of beggars, and as the learned is the friend of the ignorant, so the king is the protector and giver of life to all his subjects. The trees are also subjects of the king. Therefore they should be given protection.
The king is duty-bound to protect the living entities in his kingdom. Thus although the parents are directly responsible for the protection and maintenance of their children, the duty of the king is to see that all parents do their duty properly. Similarly, the king is also responsible for overseeing the other protectors mentioned in this verse. It may also be noted that the beggars who should be maintained by the householders are not professional beggars, but sannyāsīs and brāhmaṇas, to whom the householders should supply food and clothing.
In the dark well of family life, one is always full of anxiety because of having accepted a temporary body. If one wants to free himself from this anxiety, one should immediately leave family life and take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead in Vṛndāvana. Nārada Muni advised the Haryaśvas not to enter household life. Since they were already advanced in spiritual knowledge, why should they be entangled in that way?
Prajāpati Dakṣa sent his second group of sons to the same place where his previous sons had attained perfection. He did not hesitate to send his second group of sons to the same place, although they too might become victims of Nārada's instructions. According to the Vedic culture, one should be trained in spiritual understanding as a brahmacārī before entering household life to beget children. This is the Vedic system. Thus Prajāpati Dakṣa sent his second group of sons for cultural improvement, despite the risk that because of the instructions of Nārada they might become as intelligent as their older brothers. As a dutiful father, he did not hesitate to allow his sons to receive cultural instructions concerning the perfection of life; he depended upon them to choose whether to return home, back to Godhead, or to rot in this material world in various species of life. In all circumstances, the duty of the father is to give cultural education to his sons, who must later decide which way to go.
People addicted to householder life wonder how one can give up the enjoyment of gṛhastha life, which is a concession for sex enjoyment, simply to become a mendicant in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. They do not know that the householder's concession for sex life cannot be regulated unless one accepts the life of a mendicant. The Vedic civilization therefore enjoins that at the end of one's fiftieth year one must give up household life. This is compulsory. However, because modern civilization is misled, householders want to remain in family life until death, and therefore they are suffering. In such cases, the disciples of Nārada Muni advise all the members of the younger generation to join the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement immediately. There is nothing wrong in this.
Although I live in household life with my wife and children, I honestly follow the Vedic injunctions by engaging in fruitive activities to enjoy life without sinful reactions. I have performed all kinds of yajñas, including the deva-yajña, ṛṣi-yajña, pitṛ-yajña and nṛ-yajña. Because these yajñas are called vratas (vows), I am known as a gṛhavrata. Unfortunately, you have given me great displeasure by misguiding my sons, for no reason, to the path of renunciation. This can be tolerated once.
Prajāpati Dakṣa wanted to prove that he had been most tolerant in not having said anything when Nārada Muni, for no reason, induced his ten thousand innocent sons to adopt the path of renunciation. Sometimes householders are accused of being gṛhamedhīs, for gṛhamedhīs are satisfied with family life without spiritual advancement. Gṛhasthas, however, are different because although gṛhasthas live in householder life with their wives and children, they are eager for spiritual advancement. Wanting to prove that he had been magnanimous to Nārada Muni, Prajāpati Dakṣa stressed that when Nārada had misled his first sons, Dakṣa had taken no action; he had been kind and tolerant. He was aggrieved, however, because Nārada Muni had misled his sons for a second time. Therefore he wanted to prove that Nārada Muni, although dressed like a sādhu, was not actually a sādhu; he himself, although a householder, was a greater sādhu than Nārada Muni.
Because Prajāpati Dakṣa was a gṛhamedhī who wanted to remain in household life, he thought that if Nārada Muni could not remain in one place, but had to travel all over the world, that would be a great punishment for him. Actually, however, such a punishment is a boon for a preacher. A preacher is known as parivrājakācārya—an ācārya, or teacher, who always travels for the benefit of human society. Prajāpati Dakṣa cursed Nārada Muni by saying that although he had the facility to travel all over the universe, he would never be able to stay in one place. In the paramparā system from Nārada Muni, I have also been cursed. Although I have many centers that would be suitable places of residence, I cannot stay anywhere, for I have been cursed by the parents of my young disciples. Since the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement was started, I have traveled all over the world two or three times a year, and although I am provided comfortable places to stay wherever I go, I cannot stay anywhere for more than three days or a week.
O exalted governors of various planets, the true brāhmaṇa, who has no material possessions, maintains himself by the profession of accepting śiloñchana. In other words, he picks up grains left in the field and on the ground in the wholesale marketplace. By this means, householder brāhmaṇas who actually abide by the principles of austerity and penance maintain themselves and their families and perform all necessary pious activities. A brāhmaṇa who desires to achieve happiness by gaining wealth through professional priesthood must certainly have a very low mind. How shall I accept such priesthood?
Such priests never demand anything from their disciples to live in opulence, imitating kṣatriyas or vaiśyas. In other words, a pure brāhmaṇa voluntarily accepts a life of poverty and lives in complete dependence on the mercy of the Lord. Not very many years ago, a brāhmaṇa in Kṛṣṇanagara, near Navadvīpa, was offered some help from the local Zamindar, Rājā Kṛṣṇacandra. The brāhmaṇa refused to accept the help. He said that since he was very happy in his householder life, taking rice given by his disciples and cooking vegetables of tamarind leaves, there was no question of taking help from the Zamindar. The conclusion is that although a brāhmaṇa may receive much opulence from his disciples, he should not utilize the rewards of his priesthood for his personal benefit; he must use them for the service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
"We offer our respectful obeisances unto the lotus feet of the Lord, upon whom one should always meditate. He left His householder life, leaving aside His eternal consort, whom even the denizens of heaven adore. He went into the forest to deliver the fallen souls, who are put into illusion by material energy." To accept sannyāsa means to commit civil suicide, but sannyāsa is compulsory, at least for every brāhmaṇa, every first-class human being. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu had a very young and beautiful wife and a very affectionate mother. Indeed, the affectionate dealings of His family members were so pleasing that even the demigods could not expect such happiness at home. Nevertheless, for the deliverance of all the fallen souls of the world, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu took sannyāsa and left home when He was only twenty-four years old. He lived a very strict life as a sannyāsī, refusing all bodily comforts. Similarly, His disciples the six Gosvāmīs were ministers who held exalted positions in society, but they also left everything to join the movement of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. Śrīnivāsa Ācārya says:
Especially when a man is accustomed to eating meat and drinking wine and similar passionate things, he certainly becomes sexually inclined. It should be understood that sexual inclinations are meant not for spiritual progress but for gliding down to hell. Thus Kaśyapa Muni considered his situation and lamented. In other words, to be a householder is very risky unless one is trained and the wife is a follower of her husband. A husband should be trained at the very beginning of his life. Kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). During the time of brahmacarya, or student life, a brahmacārī should be taught to be expert in bhāgavata-dharma, devotional service. Then when he marries, if his wife is faithful to her husband and follows him in such life, the relationship between husband and wife is very desirable. However, a relationship between husband and wife without spiritual consciousness but strictly for sense gratification is not at all good.
A husband should be trained at the very beginning of his life. Kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). During the time of brahmacarya, or student life, a brahmacārī should be taught to be expert in bhāgavata-dharma, devotional service. Then when he marries, if his wife is faithful to her husband and follows him in such life, the relationship between husband and wife is very desirable. However, a relationship between husband and wife without spiritual consciousness but strictly for sense gratification is not at all good. It is said in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (12.2.3) that especially in this age, Kali-yuga, dām-patye 'bhirucir hetuḥ: the relationship between husband and wife will be based on sexual power. Therefore householder life in this Kali-yuga is extremely dangerous unless both the wife and husband take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
| Page Title: | Householder (SB cantos 4 - 6) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, RupaManjari |
| Created: | 26 of Jun, 2012 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=113, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=0, Let=0 |
| No. of Quotes: | 113 |