Household life means

Expressions researched:
"Household life means" |"Householder life means"

SB Canto 5

Real household life means living in a house with a wife."

SB 5.1.24, Translation and Purport:

Thereafter, Mahārāja Priyavrata married Barhiṣmatī, the daughter of the prajāpati named Viśvakarmā. In her he begot ten sons equal to him in beauty, character, magnanimity and other qualities. He also begot a daughter, the youngest of all, named Ūrjasvatī.

Mahārāja Priyavrata not only carried out the order of Lord Brahmā by accepting the duties of government, but also married Barhiṣmatī, the daughter of Viśvakarmā, one of the prajāpatis. Since Mahārāja Priyavrata was fully trained in transcendental knowledge, he could have returned home and conducted the business of government as a brahmacārī. Instead, however, when he returned to household life, he accepted a wife also. The principle is that when one becomes a gṛhastha, he must live perfectly in that order, which means he must live peacefully with a wife and children. When Caitanya Mahāprabhu's first wife died, His mother requested Him to marry for a second time. He was twenty years old and was going to take sannyāsa at the age of twenty-four, yet by the request of His mother, He married. "As long as I am in household life," He told His mother, "I must have a wife, for household life does not mean staying in a house. Real household life means living in a house with a wife."

SB Canto 7

Household life means sex life (yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45)).

SB 7.6.11-13, Purport:

In household affairs the first attraction is the beautiful and pleasing wife, who increases household attraction more and more. One enjoys his wife with two prominent sense organs, namely the tongue and the genitals. The wife speaks very sweetly. This is certainly an attraction. Then she prepares very palatable foods to satisfy the tongue, and when the tongue is satisfied one gains strength in the other sense organs, especially the genitals. Thus the wife gives pleasure in sexual intercourse. Household life means sex life (yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45)). This is encouraged by the tongue. Then there are children. A baby gives pleasure by speaking sweet words in broken language, and when the sons and daughters are grown up one becomes involved in their education and marriage. Then there are one's own father and mother to be taken care of, and one also becomes concerned with the social atmosphere and with pleasing his brothers and sisters. A man becomes increasingly entangled in household affairs, so much so that leaving them becomes almost impossible. Thus the household becomes gṛham andha-kūpam, a dark well into which the man has fallen. For such a man to get out is extremely difficult unless he is helped by a strong person, the spiritual master, who helps the fallen person with the strong rope of spiritual instructions. A fallen person should take advantage of this rope, and then the spiritual master, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa, will take him out of the dark well.

Householder life means attachment for one's wife, whereas sannyāsa means detachment from one's wife and attachment to Kṛṣṇa.

SB 7.14.12, Purport:

Every husband is too much attached to his wife. Therefore, to give up one's connection with his wife is extremely difficult, but if one can somehow or other give it up for the service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, then the Lord Himself, although not able to be conquered by anyone, comes very much under the control of the devotee. And if the Lord is pleased with a devotee, what is there that is unobtainable? Why should one not give up his affection for his wife and children and take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead? Where is the loss of anything material? Householder life means attachment for one's wife, whereas sannyāsa means detachment from one's wife and attachment to Kṛṣṇa.

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

My Guru Mahārāja used to say that this householder life means it is a concession for sense gratification. That's all.

Lecture on BG 16.5 -- Calcutta, February 23, 1972:

Guest: I think this is practical for a householder.

Prabhupāda: But I don't think. Then what is the difference? Therefore, household luxury is allowed up to fiftieth year in order to learn, pañcaśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. That is Vedic system. Not to remain householder until you are fired, you see, or you are taken by death. Just like our big leaders. They won't give up their householder's life unless he is fired to death, or death takes him away. That is not very good proposition. My Guru Mahārāja used to say that this householder life means it is a concession for sense gratification. That's all. But our position is that we should not continue sense gratification for all the life. The sense gratification process is going on by the hogs and dogs throughout the whole life, but we should not be like hogs and dogs. We should cease at a certain time. Pañcaśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. So far, no more. That should be our model. Not that continue. That, that is Vedic way of life.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Gṛhamedhī, just like ordinary persons, their household life means they have made the home as the center of their existence.

Lecture on SB 2.1.1-5 -- Boston, December 22, 1969:

So the subject matter for hearing for the ordinary person, those who are engaged in family matters, gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām... So does it mean to become a family man is bad? No. It does not mean. But if you become gṛhamedhī, that is particularly said, gṛheṣu gṛhamedhī. Gṛheṣu, living in family life, but in family life there are also two classes of men: gṛhastha and these gṛhamedhī. Therefore I say that each and every word of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, you will have new enlightening, new. Difference, there is difference between gṛhastha and gṛhamedhī. Gṛhamedhī, just like ordinary persons, their household life means they have made the home as the center of their existence. Just like I was seeing just now the rooms of our gṛhastha, householder, boys and girls. Things are scattered. (laughter) But if you go to another person's, gṛhastha (gṛhamedhī), you will find their apartment nicely decorated, chairs, cushions, and sitting place, but they have no vision about self. And here, although we see that household affairs, their resting place, is not so nicely decorated, but their aim is Kṛṣṇa. So that is the difference between gṛhamedhī and gṛhastha.

Of course, those who are Kṛṣṇa conscious, that is different thing. But ordinarily, the so-called household life means to be in the darkness, in the dark well.

Lecture on SB 6.2.1 -- Vrndavana, September 5, 1975:

Therefore Prahlāda Mahārāja said, hitvātma-ghātaṁ gṛhaṁ andha-kūpaṁ vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśyrayeta. He was asked by his father what was the best thing he had learned. So he said, "I have learned this best thing." What is that? Hitvātma-ghātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpaṁ vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśrayeta: (SB 7.5.5) "This is the first-class thing." What is that? "Now, giving up this gṛha andha-kūpaṁ, gṛhastha life." They are thinking very happy, husband, wife, living together, enjoying. But that is grha andha-kūpam. Andha-kūpam means if you are thrown into the dark well, it is like that. Of course, those who are Kṛṣṇa conscious, that is different thing. But ordinarily, the so-called household life means to be in the darkness, in the dark well. Gṛhānda-kū..., hitva: "One should give up." Therefore, according to Vedic civilization, when one is fifty years old, above that, he must give up family life. No more. Then sannyāsa. Not that up to the point of death one should remain a gṛhastha. No. If he wants to become free from anxiety, that is... Otherwise anxiety. Tat sādhu maye asura-varya dehināṁ sadā samudvigna-dhiyām. Dehinām, one who has accepted this material body, he must be always restless with anxiety.

Philosophy Discussions

Household life means a license for sex life. That is all. It is not required. But one who cannot restrain, he is given a license, "All right, you have sex life by marriage," as I explained in the beginning.

Philosophy Discussion on Sigmund Freud:

Prabhupāda: Therefore our prescription is that in the beginning of life, teach him brahmācārya restraint, and when he is grown up, he is above twenty, get him married. In the beginning he will learn how to restrain. If you teach your child to become saintly, he retains his semina, his brain becomes strong, he can understand things, because wasting your semina means less intelligence. So from the beginning, if he is brahmacārī, if he stops misuse of semina, then he becomes intelligent and strong and fully grown. For want of education, everything is being stunted-brain, bodily growth, and everything. So after he is trained as a brahmacārī, if he thinks that still he will have sex enjoyment, all right, he can be married. But because he will have strength of body and brain, he will beget a child, immediately there will be male child. This is practical remedy. And because he has been trained from boyhood to renounce this material way of enjoyment, when he is fifty years old, naturally his first-born child must be twenty-five years old, so he can retire from sex life. (indistinct), because household life means a license for sex life. That is all. It is not required. But one who cannot restrain, he is given a license, "All right, you have sex life by marriage," as I explained in the beginning. So that is real program. That will save the society. Not by (indistinct) or some (indistinct) and this and that. They cannot find out the root disease. But if you give him all indulgence, then he will study the (indistinct). You should take information from the standard knowledge. That's what we have discussed (indistinct) sex impulse is already there. So from the very beginning you have to restrain. Otherwise you will be implicated.

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Household life means cooperation with wife.

Room Conversation with Indian Guests -- July 11, 1973, London:

Guest (8): And I must say they are advancing more than me, really. I am still the same stage; by Prabhupāda's grace, they are advancing more, get up early in the morning, four o'clock, take bath...

Prabhupāda: No, this kind of family life is very suitable. This is wanted. All the wife... His wife is very nice girl. And she is good devotee. So if wife is favorable, then everything is favorable. Household life means cooperation with wife. Na gṛhaṁ gṛham ity āhur gṛhiṇī gṛham ucyate. Just like we are also living within a room, gṛha. But we are sannyāsī. What is the difference between gṛhastha and sannyāsī? He lives with his wife. Gṛhiṇī gṛham ity āhuḥ. Gṛhiṇī means "the wife is gṛha." So if the wife is favorable, devotee, then there is no use of giving up family life. That's all. We have got so many married couples. Just like this boy. He's married. His wife is there. They are favorable. Both husband and wife, they have dedicated life for Kṛṣṇa. So it is very nice.

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

A student remains brahmacārī up to twenty-five years, and if we wants to take this sex license-household life means sex life—so he can get the license for twenty-five years more.

Garden Conversation with Dr. Gerson and devotees -- June 22, 1975, Los Angeles:

Dr. Gerson: I've noticed changes just in the few months that I've been among the devotees, in myself, and they've been in that direction, and it's a very nice feeling to be able to feel, at least in small part, into the spiritual world.

Prabhupāda: The Vedic civilization, therefore, teaches the student, brahmacārī, how to remain without sex life. Those who are unable to continue that, they are allowed, "All right, be married life." And that is also for twenty-five years. A student remains brahmacārī up to twenty-five years, and if we wants to take this sex license-household life means sex life—so he can get the license for twenty-five years more. So at the age of fifty years, fiftieth year, he gives up voluntarily. He keeps his wife with him just to assist him to advance in spiritual life, and they go from one holy place to another. And then when they are practiced, then the woman is sent to his elderly sons to take care and the man takes sannyāsa. This is Vedic civilization, varṇāśrama, four varṇas and four āśramas: the brāhmaṇas, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra... And the sannyāsa is especially meant for the brāhmaṇas, not the kṣatriyas or the vaiśyas because they are not very much advanced. But the brāhmaṇa is advanced from the very beginning. Therefore sannyāsa is for the brāhmaṇa. The system that without being a brāhmaṇa nobody can take sannyāsa. So I am criticized by others in India that I am giving sannyāsa to them. Of course, according to the principle, they are not fit for sannyāsa, but because Caitanya Mahāprabhu also took sannyāsa at the age of twenty-four years... Śaṅkarācārya took sannyāsa at the age of eight years. He lived only for thirty-two years, Caitanya Mahāprabhu lived for forty-eight years. So for ordinary man, sannyāsa is difficult. But for preaching work, Caitanya Mahāprabhu's footprints we are trying to follow.

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

To remain in household life means a concession of sex.

Morning Walk -- January 8, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Woman's nature is the same everywhere. In spite of your women being so elevated, Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has said, "You don't trust them." Viśvāso naiva kartavyaḥ strīṣu rāja-kuleṣu ca. That means nature is the same.

Dr. Patel: It is a system of custom.

Prabhupāda: And Urvaśī was explaining Purūravā about woman's nature...

Dr. Patel: That sanctity of fact, not to us.

Prabhupāda: Fortunately, our men cannot have sex cult even up to the point of death.

Dr. Patel: What I mean to say is that we have...

Prabhupāda: Our, if you say, "our," so if one is sticking to the sex cult up to the point of death, he's not "our."

Dr. Patel: Sex cult...

Prabhupāda: Sex cult, yes, gṛhamedhī. Who stick into family life, that is sex cult. It has no other meaning. It is a concession of sex. To remain in household life means a concession of sex.

Devotee: So now you are sixty-five...

Dr. Patel: No, that is not sex. I am prepared to oppose you for hear.

Prabhupāda: No, I don't hear you. I hear the śāstra.

Dr. Patel: No, but this is also śāstra. Please let me...

Prabhupāda: Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukham (SB 7.9.45). No, maithuna, but maithuna products. You are attached to your sons and daughters. That is maithuna product.

Dr. Patel: That way we are attached to our bodies.

Prabhupāda: Yes, that is... Either maithuna... Just like Gandhi. The same thing, a bigger scale. Bigger scale. Maithuna product.

Dr. Patel: Our body is also maithuna product.

Prabhupāda: That's all right, but that is the first instruction: "Don't be attached to this body." So if we remain attached up to the point of death to the maithuna or maithuna product, then the same illusion. That is said.

1973 Correspondence

Householder life means wife, children, home, these things are understood by everyone, why our devotees have taken it as something different? They simply have some sex desire, get themselves married, and when the mater does not fulfill their expectations, immediately there is separation—these things are just like material activities, prostitution.

Letter to Madhukara -- Bombay 4 January, 1973:

The varnasrama-dharma system is scientifically arranged by Krsna to provide facility for delivering the fallen souls back to home, back to Godhead. And if we make a mockery of this system by whimsically disrupting the order, that we must consider. That will not be a very good example if so many young boys and girls so casually become married and then go away from each other, and the wife is little unhappy, the husband is neglecting her in so many ways, like that. If we set this example, then how the thing will go on properly? Householder life means wife, children, home, these things are understood by everyone, why our devotees have taken it as something different? They simply have some sex desire, get themselves married, and when the mater does not fulfill their expectations, immediately there is separation—these things are just like material activities, prostitution. The wife is left without husband, and sometimes there is child to be raised, in so many ways the proposition that you, and some others also, are making becomes distasteful. We cannot expect that our temples will become places of shelter for so many widows and rejected wives, that will be a great burden and we shall become the laughingstock in the society. There will be unwanted progeny also. And there will be illicit sex life, that we are seeing already. And being the weaker sex, women require to have a husband who is strong in Krsna consciousness so that they may take advantage and make progress by sticking tightly to his feet. If their husband goes away from them, what will they do? So many instances are already there in our Society, so many frustrated girls and boys.