Viparītāni means "just the opposite." "I have come here to fight to regain my kingdom. That is the cause for which I have come here to fight, but actually I am seeing it is just the opposite. My fighting will be useless. I came here to fight for some useful purpose, but now I see that viparītāni, just opposite. It will be useless." Why useless? Because one tries to become rich man, opulent—this is material nature—just to show to his relatives, to his friends, to his family members, "Just see how I have become rich, opulent." This is the psychology. A man works very hard day and night to become rich just to make a show that "My dear friends, my dear relatives, you see that how I have become now rich." This is the only purpose. Nobody is working hard for serving Kṛṣṇa. This is māyā. And Kṛṣṇa consciousness means, the same hardship we shall take, but take for Kṛṣṇa. Just like our Mrs. Sharma. She was working in the family, but now she has come to work for Kṛṣṇa. And this is salvation. This is mukti. Not that we have to stop our working capacity. Simply we have to change the position. In the family life we work uselessly for so-called relatives, but the same labor, when we employ for the service of Kṛṣṇa, every inch of it is utilized.
Family life (Lectures, BG)
Lectures
Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures
So Arjuna is considering with reference to his future, that "If I kill my kinsmen, what benefit there will be? I want victory, I want kingdom, to become happy, but if my all kinsmen are killed, then what is the value of my victory? With whom I shall enjoy?" He is thinking like that. Society... The same thing: society, friendship and love. Everyone wants to enjoy life with society, friends. Nobody wants to enjoy life alone. That is not possible. This is not natural. So wherefrom we got this idea, that I cannot enjoy alone? Just like generally a person is alone, but he gets a wife with a hope for enjoying family life, children, wife, friends. Gṛha-kṣetra, ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ. Gṛha means apartment, and kṣetra means land. Gṛha-kṣetra-suta. Suta means children. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-suta āpta. Āpta means friends, society. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ. Āpta means friends, society, and to support all these things—gṛha, kṣetra, suta, āpta—there is required money, vitta. Vitta means money. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8). This is material life. Gṛha, kṣetra. "I must have Gṛha." Gṛha means with wife. Na gṛhaṁ gṛham ity āhur gṛhiṇī gṛham ucyate. Gṛha. Gṛha means house.
So ārtaḥ arthārthī, this is meant, this is referred to the gṛhastha. The gṛhasthas, they become sometimes distressed. The gṛhastha-āśrama means unless there is Kṛṣṇa or full consciousness of Kṛṣṇa, it is simply miserable, simply miserable. Duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam (BG 8.15). Simply working hard day and night, then there is, child is sick, then wife is not satisfied, the servant is not satisfied... So many things, problem. But if there is Kṛṣṇa in the center, the all problems will be solved. But people do not know this. They think that "I shall be happy with wife, children, servants, house, and this and that." No. That is not possible. Therefore one should be in gṛhastha-āśrama. Not only in family life. Family, the dogs have got family life. He has got wife, children. The cats and the hogs, a big family. Because a hog begets, at a time, one dozen children. What you beget? You are afraid of begetting one child even. This contraceptive method. But they are not afraid. They beget one dozen children at a time, twice in a year. So to live with family, wife, children... Then the hog accepts family life. No. That is not family life. You live with wife, children, peacefully, if you like, but bring in Kṛṣṇa in the center. That is gṛhastha-āśrama.
So what is the benefit?" This kind of vairāgya, renouncement, is there. But as soon as he comes from the burning ghāṭa, he again begins his activities. In the śmaśāna, in the burning ghāṭa, he becomes renounced. And as soon as comes home, again he is vigorous, vigorous, how to earn, how to get money, how to get money, how to get money. So this kind of vairāgya is called śmaśāna-vairāgya, temporary. He cannot become vairāgī. And he said, na kāṅkṣe vijayam: (BG 1.31) "I don't want victory. I don't want this." This is temporary sentiment. Temporary sentiment. These people, they attach to family life. They may say like that, that "I don't want this happiness, don't want this very nice position, victory. I don't want." But he wants everything. He wants everything. Because he does not know what is the śreyas. Śreyas is Kṛṣṇa. Actually, when one gets Kṛṣṇa, or Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then he can say that "I don't want this." They will not say that. Why they will say, "Don't want this"? Here what we have got? Suppose I have got a kingdom. So that is my kingdom? No. That is Kṛṣṇa's kingdom. Because Kṛṣṇa says bhoktāraṁ yajña-tapasāṁ sarva-loka-maheśvaram (BG 5.29). He is the proprietor. I may be His representative. Kṛṣṇa wants that everyone should be Kṛṣṇa conscious.
All these are described in the Bhagavad-gītā, who is brāhmaṇa, who is kṣatriya, by symptoms. By symptoms we have to accept whether one is brāhmaṇa or kṣatriya or vaiśya, not by birth. That is the injunction of the śāstras. So this has to be observed. If we want actually deliverance from this material entanglement, so these rules and regulations of kula-dharma, we must observe. If we do not observe, then immediately we become irreligious. Dharme naṣṭe kṛtaṁ kṛtsnam adharmam abhibhavati iti uta. Uta, Arjuna said, "It is said." He has learned from higher authorities. Uta, "it is said" means "said by authorities." So "If adharma, irreligious life, is propagated, on account of loss of kula-dharma, then everything is lost, my dear Kṛṣṇa. So why shall I kill?" Other things also will be described later on, that the, when the male members are killed, the female members become widow, and they, their character becomes polluted. So many things Kṛṣṇa will speak about this family life.
So at the present moment, there is no such family life, no consideration of religion, no consideration of irreligious life. Everything, just like animals. Kalau śūdra-sambhavaḥ. If not animals, they are all śūdras, nobody brāhmaṇa, nobody kṣatriya, nobody vaiśya. So it is a chaotic condition of the human society. Therefore it cannot be revived to the original position of systematic institutional position. It is not possible. Everything is lost.
So this is Vaiṣṇavism. One who wants to satisfy Viṣṇu, he is called Vaiṣṇava. That is Vaiṣṇavism. Viṣṇu means the Supreme Lord. So everything is arranged to satisfy the Lord Viṣṇu. So where from it begins? The cats and dogs, they can be trained up for satisfying Viṣṇu? No, there is no possibility. They are dogs, animals. They are simply busy with four principles of life: eating, sleeping, sex-life and defending. That's all. They cannot be trained up that "You become very obedient to Lord Viṣṇu. Become a devotee." Man-manā bhava mad-bhakto mad yājī māṁ namaskuru (BG 18.65). "You become the devotee of Kṛṣṇa." No, that is not possible. Therefore it is said that manuṣyāṇāṁ. Manuṣyāṇāṁ. It is the duty of the manusya, not of the dog. Manuṣyāṇāṁ. Utsanna-kula-dharmānāṁ manuṣyāṇāṁ janārdana (BG 1.43).
So human life has got a great responsibility. If you become like cats and dog, the hippies, then utsanna, everything is destroyed. Utsanna-kula-dharma. They have no family. They don't care for any rules and regulation. Utsanna, everything destroyed. Jaghanya-guṇa-vṛtti-sthaḥ (BG 14.18). No family life, no taking bath, no worship, nothing of... All irresponsible. I have seen it in Amsterdam. What is that park?
Horrible. Actually this, this, what was spoken by Arjuna five thousand years ago, it is now happening. Utsanna, all destroyed, finished. Kula-dharmānām. No family life. So therefore for human being, it is the duty to understand his position, and it is his duty to satisfy the Supreme Lord. This is the whole plan. Therefore Rāmānanda Rāya quoted the verse from Viṣṇu Purāṇa that varṇāśramācaravatā puruṣeṇa paraḥ pumān, viṣṇur ārādhyate (CC Madhya 8.58). Because the aim is to satisfy Viṣṇu, to become Vaiṣṇava. To become brāhmaṇa is also lower status. You will hear from the Caitanya-caritāmṛta that our Mādhavendra Purī, he was installing Deities. So there are many brāhmaṇas, caste brāhmaṇa, born in... So in order to give charge of worship to those brāhmaṇas, he initiated them to become Vaiṣṇava. Because without becoming Vaiṣṇava, nobody has got right to worship Viṣṇu. Viṣṇu will not accept anything from anyone unless he is devotee. And Viṣṇu is poverty-stricken that He has come to take from you? He cannot eat? He has no eating means? No. He agrees to accept our offering just on the basis of love. The Vaiṣṇava loves Viṣṇu, and Viṣṇu agrees to accept any foodstuff. Patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ yo me bhaktyā prayacchati (BG 9.26). That bhakti is main thing, not your palatable dish. Viṣṇu is quite competent to prepare thousand times better palatable dishes than you can offer. But the real thing is bhakti.
So viṣṇur ārādhaṇam means viṣṇur ār..., that should be the aim of human life. Viṣṇur āradhana means one must become a Vaiṣṇava, and Vaiṣṇava means regulated life, not destroyed everything, finished, to become hogs. That is not Vaiṣṇava. Vaiṣṇava means regulated, end—to, how to satisfy Viṣṇu. So whole Vedic scheme is there, how to satisfy Viṣṇu. Therefore it is said that utsanna kula-dharmānāṁ manuṣyāṇāṁ (BG 1.43). In the human life, if they do not follow the regulative principles of family life, family tradition and systematic arrangement of four divisions of the society, brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra... In this way we can satisfy the Supreme Lord. Our aim is to satisfy the Supreme Lord, and this can be done perfectly if we follow the regulative principles of jāti-dharma, kula-dharma. Jāti-dharma means if you are born in the family of a brāhmaṇa you have got particular duties. Simply if you think yourself that "I am born in a brāhmaṇa family; my duty is all finished. Now I can do whatever nonsense..." They think like that. I have spoken.
So it is horrible condition. Purposefully you put yourself if you do not follow... (break) ...process. The varṇāśrama-dharma... (break)... society. Utsanna-kula-dharmānāṁ manuṣyānāṁ janārdana, narake niyatam. Niyatam means always. (break) Just like the hog, hellish life... (break) ...eating stool, living in filthy place. māyā is dictating, "You are... (break) ...more than a king." Yes. Sometimes Indra became a hog, and... By the curse of Bṛhaspati. So when Brahmā again came to recall him,... (break) ...he was Indra. He denied. (break) ...responsibility. Family... (break)... The hog... (break) ...āvaraṇātmikā-śakti. (break) ...lowest standard of living. He will think that "I am very happy." This is called āvaraṇa... (break) So if the hog thinks that "I am living..." (break) ...Then he will die. in the human mind,... (break) ...hellish condition of life, then he can make progress in spiritual life. And for so long he thinks that "I am living very peacefully, very happily..." (break) ... then athāto brahma jijñāsā. Unless one comes to that... That sense will come when one follows the tradition of family life. (end)
According to Vedic system, therefore, there is forced renunciation. Nobody wants to retire from family life, but the Vedic injunction is that after one has passed fifty years, he must leave his family life. Pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. In the beginning, as a student life, he's trained up, brahmacārī, undergoing severe austerities, penances, and taking instruction from the spiritual master about the temporary existence of this material world. In this way, he's trained up very nicely. And even after training, if he appears to be attached to this material world, he's allowed to go home and marry. And some of the brahmacārīs are allowed to remain naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī, without going home and accepting a wife. But one who cannot, he's allowed to accept wife and become a householder and remain there for twenty-five years. Because generally, the brahmacārī was going home at the age of twenty-four years, twenty-five years. So after marriage, he may get a child. So living there for twenty-five years, means the child is grown up. Then the husband and wife takes leave, not leaving for good, but vānaprastha, traveling in pilgrimages like Vṛndāvana, Prayāga. That was the system. And after two months, again he comes back and remains home for another two months. Again goes out. In this way, the whole process is how to give up attachment from this family life, from this world. And when he's trained up fully, he takes sannyāsa. That is our Vedic system.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: "The kṛpaṇas, or miserly persons, waste their time in being overly affectionate for family, society, country, etc., in the material conception of life. One is often attached to family life, to wife and children and other members on the basis of 'skin disease.' The kṛpaṇas think that they are able to protect their family members from death, or the kṛpaṇa thinks that his family or society can save him from death. Such family attachment can be found even in the lower animals, who also take care of children. Being intelligent, Arjuna could understand that his affection for family members and his wish to protect them from death were the causes of his perplexities. Although he could understand that his duty to fight was awaiting him, still on account of miserly weakness he could not discharge the duty. He is therefore asking Lord Kṛṣṇa, the supreme spiritual master, to make a definite solution. He offers himself to Kṛṣṇa as a disciple. He wants to stop friendly talks. Talks between a master and disciple are serious, and now Arjuna wants to talk very seriously before the recognized spiritual master. Kṛṣṇa is therefore the original..."
Prabhupāda: Here is a technique. The same Kṛṣṇa and same Arjuna, they are talking as friends. Then what was the necessity of Arjuna accepting Kṛṣṇa as spiritual master? The same Arjuna and same Kṛṣṇa, they'll talk, but what is the necessity of accepting as spiritual master? That means after accepting spiritual master he'll not argue. He'll simply accept whatever He says. That is the technique. Friendly talks, equal level, He, Kṛṣṇa was talking something and he was replying. So that argument has no end. But when he accepts Him as spiritual master, there is no more argument. One has to accept whatever He says. Therefore he's accepting as spiritual master. After this, Arjuna will never say, "This is wrong, this is, no," or "I don't agree." No. He'll accept. So acceptance of spiritual master means to accept anything, whatever he says. Therefore one has to select a spiritual master whom he can completely surrender.
Therefore Arjuna is called Guḍākeśa. He is master of... He is also, when he likes. He is not a coward, but he is compassionate because he is devotee. Because he is devotee of Kṛṣṇa... Anyone who becomes a devotee of Kṛṣṇa, all the good qualities manifest in his body. Yasyāsti bhaktir bhagavaty akiñcanā sarvair guṇais tatra samāsate surāḥ (SB 5.18.12). All godly qualities. So Arjuna, he is also... Otherwise how he can become intimate friend of Kṛṣṇa unless of the same position? Friendship becomes very strong when both the friends (are) on equal level: same age, same education, same prestige, same beauty. The more similarity of position, then the friendship is there, strong. So Arjuna is also on the same level of Kṛṣṇa. Just like if somebody becomes friend of the president, friend of the king or queen. So he is not ordinary man. He must be of the same position. Just like the Gosvāmīs. The Gosvāmīs, when they gave up their family life... It is described by Śrīnivāsa Ācārya, tyaktvā tūrṇam aśeṣa-maṇḍala-pati-śreṇiṁ sadā tucchavat. Maṇḍala-pati, big, big leaders, maṇḍala-pati. Big, big leaders, zamindars, big, big, big men. He was minister. Who can become his friend unless he is also a very big man? So Rūpa Gosvāmī gave up their company. As soon as Rūpa Gosvāmī and Sanātana Gosvāmī became acquainted with Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, immediately they decided that "We shall retire from this ministership and join Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu to help Him." To serve Him, not to help Him.
So here is Kṛṣṇa. From śāstric evidences, by His opulences, by His power... Because Bhagavān means full of six opulences. Aiśvaryasya samagrasya vīryasya yaśasaḥ śriyaḥ (Viṣṇu Purāṇa 6.5.47). He must be the richest. He must be the strongest. He must be the most famous. He must be the most beautiful. He must be the great renouncer. In this way, that is the definition of God. So that definition is confirmed by Lord Brahmā: īśvaraḥ paramaḥ kṛṣṇaḥ (Bs. 5.1). Īśvara means controller. Unless one is powerful, how he can control? So every one of us is little, a small controller. Somebody controls in his office. Somebody controls in his family life. Somebody controls a few factories. There are controllers. But nobody can say that "I am the supreme controller." That is not possible. The supreme controller is Kṛṣṇa.
So just to try to protect yourself as far as possible, but you are not affected by such summer season or winter season. You should not be affected. Just like in India the temperature is sometimes 120, during... (break) ...season. Does it mean people will stop all their work? Or in your country, in the Western country, the winter is so strong that sometimes below zero, 30 degree. Does it mean that all of his work, everything, will be stopped? No, you have to do your duty. Similarly, although Arjuna is advised, "Although you are killing—little pains that you have to kill your own men—so that is coming and going. You have to do your duty because it is real fight. This fight is under My guidance. You must fight. That is your duty. Don't be bothered of this mātrā-sparśāḥ." Mātrā means the skin, touch. But people are after the skin disease. Just like sex life. What is the sex life? This is also another skin disease, itching of the skin, and you satisfy by rubbing it. That's all. Therefore in the śāstra it is advised, viṣaheta dhīraḥ. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). Gṛhamedhi. These rascals who are very much attached to so-called family life, gṛhamedhi... Gṛhastha is different. Gṛhastha means he knows everything. But he is not so advanced, but he wants to live with wife and children, but for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is gṛhastha.
Go away from home. To take sannyāsa, to take vānaprastha. Not to remain up to the last point of death as family member, grandfather or great-grandfather. That is not our Vedic civilization. As soon as one is little grown up, pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet, he must get out from this gṛham andha-kūpam. Gṛham andha-kūpam, if we discuss threadbare, it may be very unpalatable. But we have to discuss from śāstra what is gṛha. Gṛha, it is... Another word, it is called aṅganāśrayam. Aṅganā. Aṅganā means woman. To live under the protection of wife. Aṅganāśraya. So śāstra recommends that you give up this aṅganāśrayam to go to the paramahaṁsa-āśrayam. Then your life will be saved. Otherwise, as Prahlāda Mahārāja says, gṛham andha-kūpam, "If you keep yourself always in this dark well of so-called family life, then you'll never be happy." Ātma-pātam. Ātma-pātam means you'll never be able to understand spiritual life. Of course, not always, but generally. Generally, who are too much attached to family life or extended family life... Extended... Family life, then society life, then community life, then national life, then international life. They're all gṛham andha-kūpam. All gṛham andha-kūpam.
Formerly, after gṛhastha life, vānaprastha life, sannyāsa life, they used to live in the forest. But going to the forest is not the main purpose of life. Because in the forest there are many animals. Does it mean they are advanced in spiritual life? That is called markaṭa-vairāgya. Markaṭa-vairāgya means "monkey renunciation." Monkey is naked. Nāga-bābā. Naked. And eats fruit, monkey, and lives underneath a tree or on the tree. But he has got at least three dozen wives. So this markaṭa-vairāgya, this kind of renunciation, has no value. Real renunciation. Real renunciation means you have to give up the andha-kūpa life and take shelter of Kṛṣṇa, harim āśrayeta. If you take shelter of Kṛṣṇa, then you can give up this, all this "ism" life. Otherwise, it is not possible; you'll be entrapped by this "ism" life. So hitvātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpaṁ vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśrayeta (SB 7.5.5). Not to give up... If you give up something, you must take up something. Otherwise, it will be disturbed. Take up. That is recommendation: paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate (BG 2.59). You can give up your family life, social life, political life, this life, that life when you take Kṛṣṇa conscious life. Otherwise, it is not possible. Otherwise, you must have to take some of this life. There is no question of your freedom. There is no question of freedom from anxieties. This is the way.
Now, just imagine if something, the price of something, is raised from 75 cent to ten dollars, how difficult it becomes for the public, for general mass of people. So so many people were in difficulty, and so many people died for want of food, diseases, famine, because when there is want of food... But you will be surprised... I inquired in 1942. Persons who were in our line, I mean to say, engaged in devotional service... I also purchased at the same time. I had... In my family life at that time, I had some responsibility: my self, my wife, my five children, servant, and so many, about ten people. And I was purchasing rice. So anyway, management was going on. But so many people died. But you will be surprised. Those who were in some way or other in touch with the devotional service, I inquired from them individually, and I was satisfied that they were not in difficulty even in that famine circumstances. Even from the villages I inquired that "Were you in difficulty?" They replied, "No, we have no difficulty. Some way or other, we are managing." So this is practical. Anyone who is engaged in the devotional service, whose life is dedicated for service of the Supreme, you will see practically that there will be no want, there will be no unhappiness. This is a fact. This is a fact.
Prabhupāda: That is your question? Why He created you?
Devotee: And why he is suffering?
Prabhupāda: Yes. Suppose a father creates some children. So the purpose is that he wants to enjoy family life. This is the purpose of creation. But the father wants that each and every one of his children become nicely educated, obedient, but if the child, the boy is not nicely, properly taking the instruction of the father and spoils himself, and he is in suffering, so is that the fault of the father or the child? Whose fault it is?
Guest (3): If he reads everything, if he is...
Prabhupāda: Yes father gave, directs everything, but if the child does not want to follow the father's instruction, and he suffers, then whose fault it is? The child's fault or the father's fault?
Guest (3): Of course, it's the child's fault.
Prabhupāda: That's it. So you are child of God. You do not follow the instruction of God, therefore you are suffering.
Anyway, so, yasya sarve samārambhāḥ. Samārambhāḥ means all attempts. Yasya sarve samārambhāḥ kāma-saṅkalpa-varjitāḥ. We want to do something to enjoy the fruit. We do some business with a desire, "The profit I shall enjoy." We live in family life. The desire is that... Everyone is trying to satisfy his senses, especially in this age. Dāmpatye ratir eva hi. In the śāstra it is said, dāmpatye, means husband and wife relationship will exist in this age of Kali only on the point of sex life. If there is disturbance in sex life, there is divorce. So kāma is there. In every samārambhāḥ, in every attempt, the lust, lusty desire is there.
Now, there are four divisions of human society according to Vedic literature: the brahmacārī, the gṛhastha, the vānaprastha and the sannyāsa. The brahmacārī means the student life, more or less, student life. And gṛhastha means those who are leading family life, after the student life. And vānaprastha means retired life. And the sannyāsa means renounced order. They have no connection with worldly activities. So these are four different stages of human social order. Now, the brahmacārī, they are meant for sacrifice, the students. The students are recommended to sacrifice, especially to sacrifice sense gratification.
So student life is meant for sacrifice. They should undergo training under serious regulations and penances so that life may be built up for future hope and future spiritual realization. But the sacrifice is meant for the student life.
Similarly, the family life, those who are... Yajña-dāna. Dāna means charity. A gṛhastha, those who are living in family life with wife and children, they are expected to give in charity as much as possible. That is also service.
Suppose you are earning $1,000 in a month. So according to Vedic instruction, you should give in charity fifty percent of your income. Five hundred dollars you should give in charity. And twenty-five percent you should spend for your family and twenty-five percent, as you are a family man, you may have it as bank balance so that in case of emergency you may require it. This is the prescription. Suppose you are earning $1,000 a month. You should give in charity for God's service fifty percent, and twenty-five percent you should spend for your family, dependents, and twenty-five percent you may have in a bank balance so that... This is the point.
Now, suppose if there are hundred person in a society, twenty-five percent students, twenty-five percent retired life, and twenty-five percent sannyāsa, renounced order of life. Now, out of 100 persons, seventy-five percent, they are engaged in the service of the Supreme Lord. The rest twenty-five percent who are gṛhasthas, they are meant for sacrificing fifty percent of their income for this seventy-five percent. That is the whole program of varṇāśrama-dharma. That is a kind of spiritual communism. Spiritual communism. For spiritual advancement of a society, the whole social order is so arranged that seventy-five percent of the people, they are engaged in the matter of spiritual advancement of knowledge and twenty-five percent of the population, those who are earning, those who in family life, those who have got factories, business and so many things, they should sacrifices fifty percent of their income for these seventy-five percent persons who are engaged in spiritual emancipation. So that is the whole program. (aside:) Oh, I am very glad to see you. (laughs)
Āśrama, this very word, indicates that it is spiritual. And perhaps most of you know that āśrama means... Āśrama, this very word, means that this place... Just like temple or church. There are so many buildings on this Second Avenue. And when you see a church or a temple, you at once understand that "This building is meant for spiritual understanding." Similarly, when we call āśrama, āśrama means that that, I mean to say, function is meant for spiritual realization. So all the four classes of social order—the brahmacārī, the gṛhastha, and the vānaprastha and the sannyāsa—they are called āśrama. Āśrama means they are meant for spiritual emancipation. The student is also given instruction so that before entering family life, he gets complete instruction of spiritual life so that when he enters into family life, he is not just like a cat and dog, so-called sense gratification. They are meant for... Although they live with wife and children, they are meant for spiritual emancipation. This is called āśrama, gṛhastha-āśrama.
In our line of disciplic succession, ācārya, there was one Rūpa Gosvāmī. Rūpa Gosvāmī, he was formerly the minister of a very big estate. Then he renounced his family life and joined Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and became a mendicant. Now, of course, nowadays people are not so much fond of mendicant. But formerly, any householder, they would go to some sage, some saintly person, and offer some service, "Sir, what can I serve for you." Oh, that was the system. So one big merchant. He belonged to Sindhi, Sindh Province, which is now in Pakistan. He approached Rūpa Gosvāmī and offered that "Swamiji, I want to make some service. Please give me direction. How can I serve you?" So he was a very big man. So Rūpa Gosvāmī asked him that "Yes, if you have got money, then engage it in the service of Kṛṣṇa according to your position." So he built a very nice temple. That temple... If you go sometimes to India, that is a very remarkable temple.
Sannyāsa, simply by renouncing this world, if you do not find out the Absolute Truth, then it is simply accepting tribulation voluntarily. Because suppose I have to give up my family life. Anyone is comfortable in family life, but suppose he leaves such family life and takes this life of mendicant. It is not very comfortable. But why shall I accept this position if I have no idea of the Absolute Truth? That is... So sannyāsas tu mahā-bāho duḥkham āptum. So if you don't find the Absolute Truth, then it is simply meant for accepting miseries. Miseries. And yoga-yukto munir brahma na cireṇādhigacchati. But one who is dovetailed with Kṛṣṇa consciousness, even he is at home... It was particularly said to Arjuna that "You are thinking that you are, you'll not fight. Better, you are thinking, that you shall beg instead of killing your kinsmen. You do not want kingdom. But that is not a practical proposition. You, you, you just try to understand why you have to fight. What is the cause?" That means He was giving hint that "You'll have to fight for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then you'll get happiness. Simply by leaving, simply by becoming mendicant, it will not help you."
So sannyāsas tu mahā-bāho. If artificially I detach myself, renounce this world, then Kṛṣṇa says duḥkham āptum ayogataḥ. If there is no engagement, good engagement, better engagement, then it is a cause of misery. It is a cause of misery. It is very difficult. Suppose a family man, he renounces the family connection, but if he has no better connection and better attachment, then he will feel, "Oh, I was better in my family life. I have done mistake." Kṛṣṇa says, sannyāsas tu mahā-bāho duḥkham āptum ayogataḥ. Ayogataḥ means if we have no link with the Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then simply detachment will be cause of misery. Duḥkham āptum. It will be a cause of misery. Yoga-yukto munir brahma. But one who is in dovetail, one who is dovetailed with the Supreme, yoga-yukto munir brahma na cireṇādhigacchati. Brahma. Yoga-yuktaḥ. If I am dovetailed with Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then acireṇa. Acireṇa means very soon I shall realize myself as Brahman. I am Brahman. It is simply question of realization. By misconception, by illusion, I am thinking that I am matter, but actually I am Brahman. The whole process is to realize that "I am Brahman, I am not this matter." This conception, Brahman conception, or realization, self-realization, is possible, yoga-yuktaḥ, if I am always dovetailed with Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Now, Kṛṣṇa says that simply renouncement is not all. Simply renouncement is not all. There must be some duty. Kāryam. Kāryam means "It is my duty." Now, what is that duty? He has renounced the family life. He has no more botheration how to maintain his wife and children. Then what is his duty? That duty is very responsible duty—to work for Kṛṣṇa. Kāryam. Kāryam means it is the real duty. There are two kinds of duties in our life. One duty is to serve the illusion, and the other, another duty is to serve the reality. When you serve the reality, that is called real sannyāsa. And when we serve the illusion, that is called māyā. Now, either to serve the reality or to serve the illusion, I am in such a position that I have to serve. My position is not to become the master but to become the servant. That is my constitution.
So any process take Vedic process. Either you take yoga process or bhakti process or jñāna process, in no process sex indulgence is allowed, no. Sex indulgence is only allowed, family life, just to beget very nice children. That's all. Sex life is not for sense enjoyment. Although there is enjoyment by nature. Unless there is enjoyment, why one should take responsibility for family life. That is the secret of nature's gift. But we should not take advantage of it. These are the secrets of life. These are the secrets of life. So yoga practice, such a nice thing. If you indulge in sex life, this is simply nonsense. Simply nonsense. And if anyone says that you go on with your sex life as much as you like, at the same time you become a yogi, simply pay my fees. I give you some mantra. These are all nonsense. All nonsense. But we want to be cheated. We want to be cheated. We want something sublime very cheap. That means we want to be cheated. If you want very nice thing you must pay for it. "No. I shall go to a store, Sir, I can pay you ten cents, you give me the best thing for it." How can you expect for ten cent? If you want to purchase some valuable, if you want to purchase gold, then you have to pay for it.
So Arjuna said, "This aṣṭāṅga-yoga system is very difficult." He says, that, "Impractical." Appears not impractical. For him. Just like, it is not impractical. If it is impractical then Kṛṣṇa would not have described and taken so much trouble. It is not impractical, but appears. What one thing may be impractical for me but practical for you, that is a different thing. But generally this system is impractical for ordinary common man. Arjuna is representing himself as a common man in the sense that he was not a mendicant or he has renounced his family life or he has no connection with his bread problem. Because he was on the warfield to fight for the kingdom. So he's supposed to be an ordinary man. So for ordinary men who are engaged in these worldly activities for earning livelihood, family life, children, wife, so many problems, it is not practical. That is the point here. It is practical for one who has already renounced everything completely. In a secluded sacred place, just like in the hill or in the cave of the hill, alone, no public disturbance. So where is the opportunity for ordinary man, for us, especially in this age? Therefore this yoga system is not practical. It is admitted by Arjuna, who was a great warrior. And he was so advanced, he belonged to the royal family and very expert in so many things. He said that it is impractical. Just try to understand. And what we are in comparison to Arjuna? If we try this system, it is not possible. Failure is sure. Go on reading the purport.
So human civilization does not mean this piling of woods and stones. No. That is not human civilization. Human civilization means brahma-jijñāsā, inquiry. These are the inquiry. "Why? Why I am forced to do this?" These things are taught regularly in the varṇāśrama system. One is made brahmacārī, celibacy, spiritual. One is made a very decently, family life, gṛhastha. One is made retired life, sannyāsī. Very systematical. So if we don't follow the varṇāśrama-dharma, then we are not even human beings. They are cats and dogs. So therefore Rāmānanda Rāya proposed this varṇāśrama... Varṇāśramācāravatā. He quoted from Viṣṇu Purāṇa. But Caitanya Mahāprabhu said, "Oh, this is rejected." He immediately rejected. Now, so scientific institution of varṇāśrama-dharma system, coming from very early age, Caitanya Mahāprabhu said, "This is external. Say something better." So in this way, Rāmānanda Rāya was putting some better proposal than varṇāśrama-dharma. Then varṇāśrama-tyāga. Tyāga means renouncing, renounced order. But Caitanya Mahāprabhu's speaking, "No, no. It is ... It is not very important. Go more."
God says that "I am the enjoyer of everything." We are acting in this material world to enjoy something. We are working day and night to get some fruit of our labor and enjoy it. Everyone, either he's doing business or he's a professional man or he's a worker or anything he is, he's working very hard, day and night, to enjoy something. So... But we cannot claim that we can enjoy everything in this world. Although we have got the desire, but limited power to enjoy. The unlimited enjoyer is Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Just like we want to enjoy life, family life. We marry one wife. Or, in some countries, more than one wife—two, three, four. But when Kṛṣṇa married, He married 16,108. So... And sixteen thousand wives were given sixteen thousand palaces. And each wife got ten children. And Kṛṣṇa also expanded Himself into 16,108. That is God. For us, it is very difficult to maintain even one wife at the present moment. This is the difference. Just try to understand what is the meaning of this word bhagavān. Bhaga means opulence. This is one of the opulences, richness. When Kṛṣṇa was present on this planet, He was so rich that He could maintain sixteen thousand queens in sixteen thousand very costly palaces, made of marble, the furnitures made of ivory, and the beds were made of silk, and each and every room was decorated, bedecked with jewels, glittering jewels, so that at night there was no need of electricity or lamp. These descriptions are there in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam of Kṛṣṇa's palace, Kṛṣṇa's sixteen thousand wives, Kṛṣṇa's expansion into sixteen thousand forms. This is Bhagavān. Bhagavān means unlimitedly potential. That is Bhagavān.
Gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām. Those who are living within the family life, they cannot understand what is ātma-tattva. Apaśyatām. Apaśyata. Nṛṇāṁ santi sahasraśaḥ. Śukadeva Gosvāmī is advising to Parīkṣit Mahārāja that "There are many things. They are busy." Just like ordinary man, worldly man, he purchases huge volumes of newspaper, and he is interested. But he is not interested to understand Bhagavad-gītā where ātma-tattvam is described. Dehino 'smin yathā dehe (BG 2.13). They are not interested. Therefore Śukadeva Gosvāmī said to Parīkṣit Mahārāja śrotavyādi, subject matter for hearing. Nṛṇāṁ santi sahasraśaḥ: "For ordinary man there are thousands and thousands of news." We can see so many magazines—technical, musical and cinema and ordinary news and so many editions of every newspaper in every city. So this is a fact. Śrotavyādīni rājendra nṛṇāṁ santi sahasraśaḥ (SB 2.1.2). Sahasraśaḥ means thousands and thousands and thousands. Why they are busy with so many newspapers, and why they are not interested in hearing Bhagavad-gītā and Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam? Because apaśyatām ātma-tattvam; (SB 2.1.2) "They do not know that the real purpose of life is to understand ātma-tattva." Apaśyatām. Why you are forget? Gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām. They have made it vow, that, to maintain the family and to have some enjoyment from family life. Family life means society, friendship and love.
We are, therefore, opening so many gurukulas to teach from the very beginning of life. Brahmacārī gurukule vasan dānto guror hitam. They should be trained up how to offer respect to guru, to superior. These things are not taught. The Vedic system is first brahmacārī, then gṛhastha. That is compulsory, brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa, four divisions. First of all he must be trained up first-class brahmacārī, up to twenty-five years. And then, if he likes, he can enter into family life. That is also up to fifty years. Naturally a person after being trained up as brahmacārī enters family life, he cannot stay in family life for all the days. Fifty years, when his sons are grown up, say twenty years, twenty-five years, then he can retire from family life. That is called vānaprastha. The wife can remain as assistant, not for any other purpose. Then, when he is fully prepared, the wife goes to the care of elderly children and the wife takes sannyāsa.
But this culture is lost. Now unless one is shot dead, he would not leave family life. (laughter) Even Mahatma Gandhi, he got independence and everything; still he would not leave. So he was shot dead. This is our position. All politicians, all big big men, they are not going to retire, stuck up. This is not civilization. When one is young, he can remain with family, wife, children, twenty-five to fifty years. That's all. No more. Give up. Then take vānaprastha. Train up yourself for becoming sannyāsī. Then take sannyāsa simply for understanding God. That is sannyāsa. You can take sannyāsa from the very beginning, but if it is not possible, at least at the fag end of your life everyone should take sannyāsa and completely devote in understanding the science of God. That is called sannyāsa.
We don't say that you give up your engagement and become a mendicant or sannyāsī like me and give up your wife and children. No. Kṛṣṇa does not say that. You may ask then, "Why you have given up your wife and children?" I have given up my wife and children for this purpose. If I am engaged in family life, then I cannot do this missionary work. I have taken absolute shelter to this work without any disturbance. So for a preacher, for a missionary, that is a different thing. But for ordinary man, he does not require to give up his family, his home. He will remain. You remain in your occupation, you remain at home, but chant this Hare Kṛṣṇa Hare Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Hare Hare, Hare Rāma Hare Rāma Rāma Rāma Hare Hare. Is there any difficulty?
Suppose you are making a very nice house, very nice apartment. There is no guarantee that you will be able to enjoy this family life, house, and everything. Not... Forever, that is no question. Even you do not know how many years you will be allowed. Any moment you can be driven out, any moment. So this is intelligence. This is intelligence. When a man comes to inquire this point, that "Why I am forced to leave my comfortable position?" I may be now American or Australian, very nice living, very nice motor car, roads, everything, but why I am forced to leave immediately?
Another problem is asaktiḥ. We are very much attached to our so-called home, so-called wife, children. And here is, jñāna means that asaktir anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ, āsaktir. You should, therefore, at a certain age, according to Vedic civilization, one is forced to give up this attachment. Naturally, one is attached to wife, children, home. But Vedic civilization says, that is all right from... Up to fifty years, you can remain attached. But pañcāṣordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. After your fiftieth year, you must give up your family life. Vanaṁ vrajet. Go to the forest for tapasya. That was the system. Here at the present moment, everywhere, all over the world, when he is going to die, still he is attached to his political life, social life, family life. That is not knowledge. That is ignorance. You must be detached. Vairāgyam. Anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ. Putra-dārā-gṛhādiṣu. Family life. Putra means children. Dārā means wife. Gṛha means home. Putra-dārā-gṛhādiṣu. Asaktir anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ. Nityaṁ ca sama-cittatvam iṣṭāniṣṭopapattiṣu.
So in this way we are servants; we are never master. But by illusion we cannot understand. Why one takes the responsibility of family life, servants of so many items? Because I want to satisfy my senses. Therefore I am servant of nobody, but I am servant of my senses. This is the position. So when I forget to become servant of Kṛṣṇa, then I become servant of my senses. My position as servant remains the same. Again, if I give up the servitude of my senses and accept the servitude of Kṛṣṇa, then I am liberated. This is the position. Servant you have to do, remain. Kāma... The servant of kāmādīnāṁ kati na katidhā pālitā durnideśāḥ. One who is intelligent, he comes to the senses and he understands that "I had been servant of kāma, krodha, lobha, moha, mātsarya, like that. So I have served them, but nobody is satisfied. Nobody is satisfied. (break) ...teṣāṁ na trapā na karuṇā jātā... They are not satisfied. You go on serving. Even Mahatma Gandhi. He was serving his country, but he was killed by his countrymen. It is a fact. So you cannot satisfy. Who can give more service than Mahatma Gandhi. But the, what was the return? The return was that his countrymen killed him. This is the return. You go on serving your senses in the name of your country, society, family... They'll never be satisfied. And as soon as there is possibility, they'll kill you. So why should you be so much serious about serving other than Kṛṣṇa? That is sense. Better serve Kṛṣṇa. Then you'll learn. What is the result?
So Prahlāda Mahārāja, a devotee, is very humorous, so he did not address his father as "father." He said, tat sādhu manye asura-varya: "O best among the asuras." (laughter) So he said, tat sādhu manye: "I think it is very nice." Tat sādhu manye 'sura-varya... Very nice for whom? Dehinām: those who have accepted this material body. That means all material living being. Tat sādhu manye 'sura-varya dehināṁ sadā samudvigna-dhiyām: "Who are always full of anxieties..." That's a fact, full of anxiety. This is the test that we are in external material body. Therefore we are anxious. Tat sādhu manye 'sura-varya dehinām asad-grahāt sadā samudvigna-dhiyām. So for them this is the best formula. What is that? Hitvātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpam. He should give up this so-called family life which is just like a dark well. Hitvātma-pātam. The dark well... In the paddy field or in agricultural field they are. Formerly they used to dig wells, and sometimes they are covered with grass, and one man cannot know that there is... (break) ...and he should go to forest. Vanaṁ gataḥ. Then what will be the benefit? Now, harim āśrayeta: "Just take shelter of Kṛṣṇa." Instead of taking shelter of these lusty desires, you take shelter of Kṛṣṇa. Then your life is successful. Thank you very much. (end)
Therefore Rūpa Gosvāmī, the example, when he wanted to retire from family life, he gave 50% to Kṛṣṇa. He was very rich man. After retirement he brought one full load of boat, golden coins. Just imagine the value. What is the price of gold coin now? I think there is no gold coin at the present moment. It is all finished. Now it is paper coins. (chuckles) This is going on. But even five hundred years ago or four hundred years ago there were gol... Not four hundred years ago, in our childhood, we have seen gold mohor, guinea. They were used in practical use. And silver coins, gold coins, we saw. But now it is, everything, paper. So we are so advanced that there is no more gold and silver.
So anyway, cintām aparimeyāṁ ca, that should be transferred to kṛṣṇa-cintā. Satataṁ kīrtayanto māṁ yatantaś ca dṛḍha-vratāḥ (BG 9.14). If you always be busy in glorifying or chanting the holy name of the Lord, then your cintā, anxiety, is transferred. By same cintā... Cintā will go on; you cannot stop it. Mind you cannot stop thinking even for a moment. Either you shall think of this material life or you shall think of Kṛṣṇa. So the Kṛṣṇa consciousness means instead of thinking of this material life, you think of Kṛṣṇa. Thinking is not to be stopped. That is not possible. You cannot stop thinking even for a moment. Simply you have to practice. Instead of thinking these material things, you think of Kṛṣṇa. That is wanted.
| Page Title: | Family life (Lectures, BG) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, Mayapur |
| Created: | 14 of Mar, 2012 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=40, Con=0, Let=0 |
| No. of Quotes: | 40 |